Torn in Two
by pantedgieQueen13
Summary: Sonadow, based on a somewhat personal experience. Rated M for language, alcohol abuse, and other stuff. Pairings: sonuckles, sonadow, tailscosmo, cramy, knucklespio
1. Black Moon Phase

**Black Moon Phase**

_Years ago, I loved you with all my heart._

_Then you changed and I don't know_

_But I still love some part of you._

_Or is it that_

_I'm still longing._

_Longing for the one you never were._


	2. Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End

**The Beginning of the End**

Sonic padded into the living room on socked feet. His eyes were swollen from exhaustion, and his throat ached him. He needed a drink to calm his senses. He felt his way over to the mini bar, his eyes too tired to even bother trying to see in the dark, and flicked on the small overhead lights, fixing himself a Whiptail, which was basically a mild rum. It was root beer colored, and it formed a cream-colored foam on the sides of his glass. Sonic lifted the glass to his lips and gulped down about half of the drink inside. He felt better with some alcohol in him, but he was still curious as to what was keeping Knuckles. Usually, his boyfriend wouldn't leave him for so long.

Sonic finished his Whiptail and realized dully that he was hungry. Being otherwise occupied, between his boyfriend and his heroing, he hadn't had time for a decent meal in no small amount of time. He placed a gloved hand over his belly as he walked to the kitchen and opened the freezer. He saw hot dogs within. Knuckles had promised him a surprise that included those tonight. So…where exactly _was_ he?

Very slowly, Sonic began to become fearful of every little noise around him. The ticking of the clock, the whoosh of the heater, and the bat-bat-bat of a moth entreating entry via the window were all his worst fears, trying to get at him. Sonic felt his heart race.

"Stupid, stupid!" He growled at himself, glaring at his face reflected back at him in the dark window. "Why did you drink a Whiptail? Why?!" It was true that Whiptails could cause one to hallucinate, but one had to drink many bottles before it could affect him so much. No, Sonic was blaming his hysteria on alcohol, but the truth was that he had a very good reason to fear even the slightest noise.

Sonic opened one of the many drawers under the marble counter. He felt around for a string, revealing a secret compartment. There was a single piece of worn paper. Sonic could feel what it said, as though he were reading Braille. _Call me! 908-634-8808 ex. 6_. The message was comforting, written in long worn away pencil, because on the other end of that line was…

Sonic shot up in the dark as he heard faint, drunken singing walking up the steps. _Dammit, he'll wake up the whole neighborhood!_ Sonic mourned mentally, but he was petrified with fear. His hands trembling, he closed the secret compartment and nearly broke his fingers closing the drawer.

"_And we walked the lonely valleys—hic! For we were all ashamed—hic! Poor Tikal had been consumed by—hic—hate, doomed to repent our fate. Oy, we were down to the waters—hic! Like snails back to the shore. And the little crabs who wrought us—hic! Would never wait no more._"

He heard his boyfriend's hulking steps upon the stairs. Sonic couldn't bear it. He heard Knuckles hitting his mitt against the doorknob, trying to get a good grip. "Itss, isss a show, a good show, mac…hic! Enjoined it vury mush."

Sonic heard the doorknob turn, and he sped into the other room. Knuckles was standing in the doorway, drunk as anything, holding a half-drunk bottle of strong alcohol by the neck in his left hand, the right held out to steady him.

"Welcome home, Knuckles." Sonic tittered nervously. "I missed you."

"Whore!" Accused Knuckles in a drunken rage, his purple eyes reeling as he stretched out his mitt to point a finger at Sonic. "Giry faggot _whore_! Woof, woof," he stumbled across the threshold, mumbling curse words and cheese names under his breath. When he got to Sonic, he staggered, standing up to show he was a few inches taller than the hedgehog. "But you dishn't git it, dish you, Mr. Cauliflower? You fushed her up the ash and she kished your nuts! Ha!" His hand waved, and he clapped it on Sonic's shoulder. "You, you fushed her, dishn't you? You, you, fusckher." He was laughing softly, drunkenly. His head rested on Sonic's shoulder. Sonic kissed his cheek, and returned to being rigid.

Knuckles seemed to remember something, because he stopped gurgling and giggling and shot up in the dark. He was pointing at Sonic again, so that Sonic had to bend away to keep from being poked in the eye. "_**YOU**_!" He screeched. "Whore! Bitch! Ugh! You, you lets him fuck you! _FUCK __**YOUUU**_! Whore!" Knuckles screamed. "You cheating _whore_!"

"Knuckles!" Sonic cried, nearly bringing tears to his own eyes as he held up his hands against Knuckles in a weak defense. "Knux! Baby! Listen! I…I didn't, I didn't fuck him." In all honesty, Sonic had no idea who Knuckles thought he had fucked. He was just playing along with it in the hopes that he wouldn't be harmed.

Knuckles seemed to calm, lowering the accusing hand. "But…but he fushed you, I saw Espio…and he sawsh fushing, that you and, and him were fushing in the bar, behind the stool, I saw you," Knuckles became angry again, his rage apparent. "I saw you _**fushing**_ him, whore!" With a closed fist, Knuckles punched Sonic across the face and into the wall. The impact knocked a lamp off the table nearby, shattering the bulb, which sparked as it hit the ground. Knuckles' eyes were wild with drunken fury, his whole body heaving with the strength of too much liquor.

Sonic was struggling, pushing his hands against the wall, as he tried to dislodge his quills from the drywall. His face was warm and hot where he'd been hit, and he thought he could feel it dampening his coat. Blood. At that thought, Sonic's head reeled, and he coughed, swallowing down the vomit that was threatening to come. He was panicking so much now, that he could barely keep anything in his stomach. The whole time, Knuckles' laughter—like that of a madman murderer—haunted him as he whimpered and cried like a wounded puppy, trying to make his legs push him free.

Knuckles was in the kitchen now, opening the refrigerator, slamming it shut so that the shelves rattled within. Laughing the whole time. Sonic sobbed.

"Knuckles! Please! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please, please don't--!" The vomit was coming up his throat again, and it was too far up to swallow down. Sonic leaned over and threw up on the nice carpet Tails had helped the two install when they'd fixed up the old house. "Don't mess with my dinner! I'm begging you! Please!" More bile came, and Sonic was too weak to fight it. Panting for air and still begging for mercy, Sonic finally wrenched himself free and, skillfully avoiding the bile, went to see what Knuckles was up to.

Knuckles was still chuckling in the kitchen, but he was heating the chili in the microwave. The hot dogs were in a boiling pot, but there was no water in the pot. Sonic, thinking Knuckles had forgotten, went to go to the sink to get water. Knuckles pushed him away, a sadistic grin crossing his face.

Sonic didn't like what his gut was telling him. He swallowed. "K-Knuckles? A-Are y-you…?"

The microwave timer beeped. At that same time, the pot flared up in flames. Sonic could smell the burning hot dogs, and his stomach rumbled, even for the charred remains. As Knuckles stood above him, eating the chili and laughing, Sonic fell to the ground, his face in his hands, crying.

"Knuckles! Knuckles, why?!" Sonic sobbed. "You didn't…you didn't have to…" A sharp pain came against his ribs, and he fell against the tiled floor, sobbing. "Why…why…?"

"**Stop it**!" Knuckles roared, kicking Sonic again and again. "Stop crying, you damn bitch! **Whore**! Ungrateful little _whore_!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Sonic cried, rocking. "Sorry, sorry!"

"Sorry won't cut it!" And Knuckles put out the fire by throwing water on the burning pot. Then, for good measure, he dumped a bit on Sonic, too. The water was icy cold, and Sonic shivered. "Get up! I'm teaching you some new tricks tonight! _**Get up**_ or so help me, I'll--!"

"Coming, love! I'm coming!" Sonic swiftly and obediently rose, despite the protest in his aching body. For more ache than he had would come if he didn't obey.

Knuckles dragged him into the bedroom, threw him roughly on the bed, and then sat on his pelvis. He had the liquor bottle in his hands. With his teeth, he tore the cork out, and pressed it against Sonic's face. "Drink it!"

Sonic turned away. "Knuckles, I—I can't take that strong a…" but as soon as he opened his mouth, the bottle went in. Knuckles forced the neck of the bottle down his throat, Sonic convulsively swallowing. The hedgehog sputtered when Knuckles took the bottle away for a drink himself. Sonic's stomach heaved in revulsion as more strong liquor was forced down his throat. He could feel the ache of the drink already. The world was getting softer.

Then, he was on his stomach, being raped and pumped. Sonic vomited again and again until he passed out.

When he later woke up, Knuckles was sleeping comfortably and it was almost dawn. Sonic arose from bed and crossed to the kitchen phone. He opened up the secret compartment, dialed the number, trembling while the phone rang in his ears.

His therapist's groggy voice answered on the other side of the line after what seemed like years. "H'llo?"

"Hey."

"Sonic?!" His therapist's voice went from tired to concerned. "Where are you? What happened? What did he do?"

"Home, he was drunk, and nothing." Sonic half-lied with the unearthly calm he was known for.

"Good." His therapist breathed a sigh of relief.

"But…" Sonic looked behind him into the bedroom, and his voice became a whisper as he heard Knuckles' snores skip a beat. "…I need to see you."

"When?"

"As soon as possible."

"Okay. How about eight?"

"That's fine. I'll see you then."

"Good bye."

Sonic hung up the phone on the hook and then stumbled into the living room. He then proceeded to curl up on the couch…

And cry until his voice hurt from the sobs and he had no more tears to give.


	3. No Problem

**No Problem**

It was seven forty-nine in the morning. Sonic had left his hung-over boyfriend asleep, and had already cleaned himself up from the night before, washing his face and brushing his teeth to clear away the evidence of the beating. He brushed the fur on his chest, and watched a spider let itself down from the ceiling. It was small in size, yet Sonic glared at it as if its very presence was a bad omen. Presently, he felt the urge to vomit.

Sonic leaned over the toilet and turned his bowels inside out until he was sure he'd sprained his throat. Strong liquor with high proof did this to him. His body absolutely could not take it. He thought he'd been done vomiting the night before, but he was very wrong, it seemed.

After yet another tooth brushing, Sonic was ready to leave. Swallowing down the urge to cry, he opened the door and took off into the city.

_Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart._

The therapist's office was huge, a glass building with many floors. A whole mass of therapists, from those related to doctors to those related to diseases of the mind, resided here. Not many people went here anymore. It was far too convenient and too inexpensive for the tastes of upper class Mobians that resided in the city. Those who needed help would mostly go elsewhere.

The business, however, supported teenagers in need of summer jobs. Or those who needed money for other reasons. Sonic pushed through the massive revolving door and entered the chilly waiting room. A pink hedgehog with long quills tied up in a business bun and a conservative dress suit in deep lilac sat typing at the desk, pausing every few moments to shuffle her papers. When she looked up as the door opened, her pretty sea green eyes fell upon her old friend.

"Sonic!" The pink hedgehog gushed, running out from behind the desk and giving her friend a squeeze. "How _are_ you? Gosh, it's been _forever_! How are things?"

Sonic laughed. "It's nice to see you, too, Amy!" He didn't mind thinking it: Her enthusiasm always cheered him up. But he avoided the subject of how _he_ was getting on. It was too easy; Women love to talk about themselves. "How are things going with Cream?"

Amy smiled.

"Well, I don't need the details, woman!" Sonic accused, flushing promptly, and the pink hedgehog laughed.

"You tease!" She hit him lightly on the arm. "Cream's getting along fine, thanks for asking! She got a job over at the mall, just across from her school."

"Ugh! Finally!"

"I know, right?" Amy laughed. "She doesn't get paid much, but it's enough to supplement her education! Not to mention it's feeding the community chest!" Amy and Cream were saving up to start their own flower shop downtown, not very far from the therapist's office. The city was lacking one, and the girls were right in thinking they could make a lot of money.

"Bet you can't wait till Cream's outta school, Amy," Sonic nudged Amy in the ribs with his elbow. "Then what you do to her won't be considered child abuse."

Amy flushed and pushed Sonic from her side. Both girls were lesbians, and loved each other dearly. Vanilla knew, but the girls still felt it was awkward living there with her. "Stop! We don't do much!" Amy accused. "Cream's in school, besides, so we don't see each other much."

Sonic smiled at his friend, but there was a hint of sadness about him. Amy sensed it immediately. She still cared for him, like a younger brother, or something. But, she didn't press the issue directly. "Betchya you smell my brownies, Soniku,"

Sonic jumped. "Oh! I, uh…yeah." He did indeed smell the brownies. And he was suddenly very hungry, now that she'd mentioned their existence.

"You can have one, you know. Close your jaw already! It isn't any big thing!" A large, chocolate brownie with rich icing and warm chocolate chips inside was placed in the center of his hand. Sonic looked hungrily at it before taking a huge bite.

"Mmm! Delicious!" Sonic giggled in surprise. "Thanks, Amy! All these years, and you're _still_ mothering me!"

"Hey, it's my part-time job." Amy shrugged, sitting down to her typing again. "If I didn't do it, well, who would?" She chuckled. "Anyway, I assume you're here to see _him_?"

"Yeah, I'm here to see him." Sonic responded. With the brownie now inside him, he felt warm and full. So that he forgot why he was here to se his therapist in the first place.

"I'll call him, and let him know you're on your way up, hmmm?" Amy lifted the phone off the receiver and pressed it to her ear as she dialed. "Just ride the elevator to level six."

"Level six? Did they play musical chairs or something? Unless I'm completely insane, he was on the tenth floor last week."

"Things change." Amy responded, smiling as Sonic disappeared behind the elevator doors. "Buh bye!"

Sonic rode the elevator up to the sixth floor and arrived at the wooden door. Engraved on the door was his name and title. _Professor of Psychology_. When did he ever have time to complete that degree? It didn't take long for Sonic to see him again…something like four years.

Anyway, Sonic opened the door and entered. The room had the same familiar arrangement. The red plush loveseat facing towards the redwood desk and the black leather chair, turned towards the windows. His smooth voice was the first evidence of his existence. "Back again, are we?"

"Can't you ever just start with 'hi, how's it going'?" Sonic answered breezily, though he felt rigid and uneasy inside the "box with windows" he thought of this place as.

"You wish me to be informal? It would go against my job description."

"Come off it, we know each other more than very well." Sonic scoffed, but he feared a wrath yet. He was too used to being hit for running his mouth.

"Sit then, old friend," The leather chair rotated around slowly, revealing the red and black hedgehog, a black blazer and red tie around his neck. They instantly complimented his white chest fur, bursting out from under the collar of the formal jacket. "And we'll begin." He took a yellow pad from his desk, and clicked a pen.

"Please don't write everything I say, Shadow. That makes me uneasy." Sonic sat slowly on the loveseat, his body rigid as ever. Every fur on his body was stiff and he was still as a stone statue. His eyes held fear and apprehension.

"Still nervous after so long? You know what to do."

Those words instilled new fear into the blue hedgehog, but he lay down, trembling. His eyes perused the ceiling, devoid of anything. It was sort of calming, to see nothing but white. He closed his eyes for a moment. Nothing but black.

Shadow cleared his throat and Sonic started awake. "Shall we begin? Let's talk about your night."

"It was fine. We had a couple drinks together…" He shivered, remembering how the strong alcohol had been forced down his throat. Curse Amy for giving him a brownie! His bile would have color. "Excuse me." Sonic ran away to the bathroom in the adjourning room. Shadow sighed, and made a few notes on his pad.

After Sonic had returned, he seemed jittery, but pulled together. He laid back down again, shivering.

"What else?" Shadow pushed. "I need to know."

"We, uh…had a lovely dinner." Sonic retched, but there was nothing in his stomach. No vomit would come and embarrass him, thank the gods.

"And…?"

"We…did stuff in bed." Sonic swallowed heavily, closing his eyes and biting his bottom lip.

"That's all?" Shadow asked innocently.

"Yeah." Sonic let his breath out.

"Sonic, I'm not going to lie to you." Shadow crossed his legs at his desk and turned profile, biting the end of his pen like a cigar. "I can sense that there's something you're not telling me, but I can't help you unless you admit there's a problem--"

"There's no problem!" Sonic shot up defensively, his eyes full of pain and tears. "It's a normal, loving relationship! We just--" He paused. Shadow's eyes encouraged him to go on. Sonic closed his eyes and looked away. Tears fell from his eyes onto the red plush. "We just…we hit a speed bump, that's all." He smiled, but his voice was shaking. "Just a little speed bump."

"Mmmm, a 'speed bump', eh?" Shadow shuffled the papers on his desk. "Is that 'speed bump' what made you suddenly vomit in my bathroom?"

Sonic jumped. "L—It's like I said, we drank, and…I think I caught the flu from Tails. He had it last week." His tired mind screamed at him. _Lies! All lies! Tell him the truth, you dummy! Say you never loved Knuckles! Say it! Say it!_

"But I can't," Sonic whispered.

"What?" Shadow asked. "I didn't hear that."

Sonic's sobs choked him. "I--" he fidgeted. "I--" He ran into the bathroom to vomit again.

"I smelt brownie on you when you came in." Shadow noted nonchalantly when Sonic returned. "I suggest you lay off all food but saltines if this 'flu' is troubling you. Now, as I was saying, if you won't admit there's a problem--"

"There isn't." Sonic interrupted factually, sitting politely on the loveseat.

"—Whatever—then I suggest getting out of the house. Perhaps some volunteer work?" Shadow opened one of the drawers in his desk and took out a small stack of forms paper-clipped together. They were in vivid pinks and oranges, greens, and yellows. "The ones on top have longer hours. Look through those while I talk to my supervisor down the hall. I'll be back momentarily." Shadow got up and left.

But he wasn't going to his supervisor.

He walked down the hall, and then skated back, making no noise. He hovered by the door, waiting. Faintly, he could hear Sonic's sobs through the door. He felt bad, for what could he do?

Sonic had not yet admitted that he needed help. Until he did that, Sonic had no hope of getting any protection.

From Shadow himself, or otherwise.


	4. It Won't Fall ApartWill It?

**It Won't Fall Apart…Will It?**

Shadow returned to the room to find Sonic sitting quietly, staring at his knees. His gloved hands were clasped, resting between the small space where his knees parted. His eyes were red from crying, that much Shadow could see, and the fur about his cheeks had become wet and were not fluffy like before, so that the fur conformed to the shape of his cheeks, hollowed like that of a ghostly prisoner. He moved little, but for the slight jiggling of his leg. He was uncomfortable here, and Shadow could taste it in the air as he sat down, pretending not to notice. Slowly, Sonic lifted his head to view Shadow. He even smiled a bit, and this smile was genuine. But his eyes were still so sad yet. Shadow couldn't bear it.

"Sonic?" Shadow dared to ask, leaning forward. "Sonic, are you okay?" He wished with all his heart that he might reach out and touch Sonic. That he might hug him, that he might say it was all okay, and that he would never let anything happen to Sonic again…but the touch of any male that loved him would make Sonic distrusting of that touch, of that love. Shadow knew he had a good reason for feeling thus, but it frustrated him that he could not have Sonic for his own.

And he realized dully to himself that that feeling was what made Sonic afraid. The desire, the lust, for his blue-furred body was what made Sonic so afraid of Knuckles. The sheer strength of the red echidna frightened him, and that strength was lust as much as it was alcohol, in the end. Shadow knew that Sonic feared _him_, because he was stronger physically. And Sonic knew that Shadow could overpower him, especially as he was now. Sonic was as fearful as he was mesmerized by his black double. And Shadow knew all this.

It took Sonic a long time to answer Shadow's quarry. His smile trembled and faded away in a few moments. "I…I dunno, Shadow. This flu will be the death of me."

_So you insist on making that the problem, eh? You stubborn fool. _"I can't say the flu is a mild virus," Shadow pointed out, trying to joke with Sonic. But the blue hedgehog refused eye contact then, and did not speak.

"I'm…I'm much too tired to work today," Sonic responded. "I can't." He seemed to plead with Shadow. 'Please, don't make me work!'

"Sonic, I don't care if you don't work." Shadow explained almost dryly. He knew the less emotion he put into his voice, the less Sonic would fear him. Or so he thought. For Shadow's refusing of emotions Sonic knew he felt shocked the blue hedgehog down to his core. "I don't own you." Shadow continued. "Do what you like." He pretended not to care, shuffling his papers.

Sonic turned to look back at him. "Shadow?"

"Yes?" Shadow turned back nonchalantly to look at Sonic, only to find the emerald eyes perusing his of ruby red.

"This…this…" He seemed to be desperately searching for the right words to say. His eyes darted fearfully, but never seemed to waiver their gaze. His body was trembling with the sheer strength and bravery it took to look Shadow in the eye. The ruby gaze, soft as it was, chilled him to the bone. He could only see anger in those eyes, hatred for what the human race had done to his precious Maria. Anger towards a people who had welcomed Sonic—even gone so far as to rescue him from death, when he thought he was going to drown in the sky blue water…forever. That feeling of drowning, that loss of will and air, consumed him now. Sonic felt a clamp around his neck. He could barely breathe. _Let me go_, he thought. _Whatever or whoever's holding me, let me free. Let me go!_ He took a deep, shaky breath, closing his eyes a moment. It took such great strength of will to open them again. He realized he was very tired. "Shadow," he spoke the dark hedgehog's name tenderly, so that in Shadow grew a flower of hope, hope for the future and for their love. "You…you won't ever let this," he gestured around the room, "fall apart, will you?"

Shadow cocked his head, not understanding at first. Then, he smiled a little crooked smile, and replied very softly. "No. I won't ever let this fall to pieces." For he realized that, for Sonic, the only thing that was stable, that was hard ground right now…was this office, this relationship of patient to therapist, which sometimes echoed an older friendship that had come of the bonds of Chaos, forcing them together in close proximity before Sonic was even born. This…bond, whether formed of Chaos or formed of love of any sort, was stability for Sonic. Everything else was like the water he so feared: unstable, wet, and dangerous.

_No souls can make it through_

_No ground to stand or run_

_No light can make it through_

_No speed can break it through_

"Never." Shadow added. "As long as I live, I won't ever let this fall apart. I'll be here, always. Waiting--" He wondered than if he had spoke too much. Sonic seemed vaguely afraid, and it seemed he couldn't refuse showing it. His ears fell limp, his eyes grew wide, and he closed his eyes and hid his face in the plush. The sobs began, and his voice was hoarse and so unnatural.

_Everything is f'ed up, straight from the heart,_

_Tell me what do you do when it all falls apart?_

_Gotta pick myself up, where do I start?_

_Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart._

"Sonic?" Shadow reached his hand out helplessly. This felt like leaving Maria on the ARK, to be preyed upon by those nasty G.U.N. men.

_But why __**can't**__ I turn to you?_ Sonic was thinking as he muffled his cries into the plush._ It seems like I already have. Why do I feel like…like you already know? And why does that scare me?_ "Thank you, Shadow," he finally whispered shakily. His eyes were burning from his tears. He was exhausted. His mind could no longer fathom anything, and he remembered only pain and hunger and love for two people. One love that was fading, really. And one that stayed permanent, like stable ground. "Thank you, Shadow," he repeated softly as his heavy body pulled him into a dreamless sleep. "Thank you, for being my stable ground."

_I won't watch you fall_

Shadow watched as Sonic went to sleep. He felt warmed by Sonic's sentiments, but he was more worried than settled. Sonic relied on him now. And if he did something wrong, well…Sonic's trust in him would be shattered. Worse yet, Sonic would probably fall down deeper into depression and hopelessness.

_No sound but the waves of blue_

_Dancing with the broken things_

And Shadow would not let that happen.

Never.

_Lyrics for the previous chapter are When It All Falls Apart by The Veronicas._

_Lyrics for this chapter are as follows:_

_No Way Through by Kenichi Tokoi (if you want the song, PM me or review and I'll post the link. You can't buy it on iTunes)_

_When It All Falls Apart by The_ _Veronicas_

_Runaway by Down Below_


	5. When Left Unattended

**When Left Unattended**

The grass was cool and sweet and full of dew that tasted of honey. There was laughter, as two lovers tumbled in the grass. The blue and red complimented each other perfectly, as eyes of emerald green met those of royal purple.

The red one stopped the tumbling and planted a kiss on the blue one's heaving chest. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Knux," Sonic responded breathlessly, giggling as he touched the white crescent-shaped furline on his beautiful chest. Gingerly, he stole a kiss back. Secretly, he was thinking of Shadow yet, wondering if this had really been the end of Shadow. Forever.

There was silence for a moment, and then Knuckles rested his weight over his lover. "I thought you never got tired, hmm? Your chest is still heaving."

"I can get tired!" Sonic snapped playfully, panting. "Just…not from running."

"Mmmm," Knuckles weaved one of his legs through Sonic's, trying to kick Sonic's shoe off with his foot.

Sonic squirmed away. "No, no, no, Knuckie. Mustn't do that."

"Come _on_, Sonic! I've never seen you naked during the day!"

"I'm bare enough," Sonic reminded him gently, his eyes perusing the sky as Knuckles' hands moved up and down his body. Sonic shivered with pleasure as a cool breeze stirred their fur. He was feeling the great ties to Chaos here, near the Master Emerald, and he was calmed by that pull. It meant that Shadow was alive…somewhere. He giggled, as Knuckles sat up again, moving his pelvis so their penises were touching innocently. "Mmmhihmmm, naughty naughty. I don't want to do it." Sonic scolded, moving his head back with pleasure as Knuckles bent to kiss and suck at the skin on his neck beneath the cobalt fur.

"Mmmm, you taste good," Knuckles was supported by his knees now, moving his hands down Sonic's sides. "So deliciously skinny…I love it."

Sonic sighed, but out of weariness, not pleasure. The day had not been long yet, but it had been forever since he'd had a decent meal. He could feel how empty, how exhausted, his insides were. And as much as he wanted to stay with Knuckles here…food was paramount. "Knuckles?"

"Hmmm?" Knuckles was still kissing his neck.

"I'm _so_—oohh," Sonic shot back in the grass, because Knuckles had squeezed his penis. And it hurt just enough to make him uncomfortable. "I'm…I'm hungry, Knux. Can we get some food?"

"Mmmm, in a bit. Wait until noon." Knuckles went back to his business.

Sonic closed his eyes, swallowed, and lay in the grass, listening to the grass whisper and the wind sing. The noonday sun had already risen, and moved a bit in the sky. It was closer to two, than twelve…

Sonic woke up, his stomach rumbling from the memory. He woke up alone, which was alarming to him. When had he fallen asleep? It was late afternoon, the noonday sun already far past its place. Sonic sat up, unnerved, and rode the elevator down to the lobby.

Amy, now in a tight cap-sleeved lime tee, jeans, and flip flops, was settling things on her desk, getting ready to lock up. She looked up when she heard the elevator ding. "Hey, Sonic!" She greeted. "I thought you went home _ages_ ago."

"Nope! I fell asleep by accident," Sonic giggled nervously, rubbing between his quills. "Where's Shadow?"

"Oh, he's long gone." Amy seemed distracted by something on her desk. Sonic's ears flattened in depression.

"Oh,"

"Would you like to come to Cream's colorguard practice?" Amy asked brightly.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure," _Anywhere's better than home._

"Great!" And Amy took his arm in hers and walked them out. "I have to lock up," She explained. "I'm the rookie here, so I get the boring jobs. At least I don't have to clean the place!" She laughed, locking the revolving door shut and tugging Sonic towards the high school down the block. It wasn't uncommon for Amy to hang on him, or for Sonic to flirt with her. They did it because they were close friends, and because they could without hope of consequence. Even though they were now separated by their interest in the same sex, they could still go to the other for someone to talk to.

Sonic knew, though, there were some things neither could tell the other. Either because they didn't have the heart to, or because they simply had no strength to do so. His eyes filled with tears.

…………………………………………….

They watched Cream's colorguard practice in silence, shivering in the stands. Sonic noted once again that it was better to be a little cold than to endure beatings in a warm house. He sat hunched over himself, with his feet firmly upon the bleacher in front of him, his elbows resting on his knees, watching the colors roam around the field intently. He would find Cream, and lose her in the crowd again. He could think of little else…but the colors she was waving on her flags.

The high school team was the Mobian Marauders. Their colors?

Blue, red, and black.

Sonic heard the sad music the students were dancing to, and he smiled. He was beginning to see the way the puzzle fit together, and it almost amused him to see how easy it was. That he had simply not seen it before baffled him. As he saw the girls weaving the colors in and out and all around…he thought he saw his love life, flashing before his eyes. How he had never really loved Knuckles, that he had taken advantage of the echidna's love for him as a way to ease his own pain, how he now paid dearly with both physical and emotional pain, how he had now grown to love a side of Knuckles that was no longer stable…and his stomach growled and his head filled with water, and he listened to himself as he nearly passed out several times.

He found himself leaning on Amy a bit, but she was intent on watching Cream's form as she danced and moved gracefully to the rhythm. Sonic had to admit that Cream was pretty, but he was barely watching them practice. As the dance drew to a close, Amy's clapping brought him back to the real world.

_And I know you think it's stupid,_

_But I'm writing just the same…_

_And you might not care at all._

_LYRICS:_

_Edwina_ from _Dear Edwina_


	6. One Refusal

**One Refusal**

"Cream!" Amy gushed, nearly falling off the bleachers as she ran down to greet her girlfriend. Sonic stood, stretched, and was there to support Amy in half a second, his fur barely having time to settle back into place as, like a gentleman, he offered his hand for Amy to clasp. Amy steadied herself with first on of his hands and then the other, and then continued jogging towards the young rabbit on the field, her flip flops slapping against her bare feet.

Sonic chuckled, shaking his head as, with a gesture of putting his hands into imaginary pockets, he walked casually after Amy towards Cream, who was chatting with her friends, among them a purple cat named Desire and a yellow and green raccoon girl Sonic didn't know. They were laughing about something that happened during practice Sonic couldn't make heads or tails of.

"…thought I was going to get the heat from Ms. Flannigan for sure after that one!" Cream was saying to Desire as Sonic walked into earshot. "Oh! Hey, Sonic! You like colorguard now?"

Sonic rolled his eyes as the girls laughed. Amy was still hanging on Cream, but in a more discreet manner, so that they would not give themselves away. Desire knew, and the yellow raccoon probably did, too, but the act itself had to be put on anyway, in case the other colorguard girls were looking.

"Well," Sonic searched for an excuse in his own defense. "I thought colorguard had something to do with football! So much for that!"

The girls laughed. "Actually, we perform during halftime, Mr. Hedgehog!" The yellow raccoon answered.

"He prefers Sonic," Amy, Cream, and Desire said at the same time Sonic answered: "Call me Sonic." This caused the girls to burst into laughter, a joy Sonic was confused about until it was somewhat explained to him.

"Did you rehearse that?" Desire teased, poking at Sonic's ribs. Sonic spazzed at the touch, making the girls giggle again.

"No, we just have the same brain," Sonic winked at the lovers present. Then he turned to the raccoon. "I don't believe I know you, Miss…?"

"Limone, Sonic," The yellow raccoon curtsied. "Pleased to meet you."

"As well," Sonic responded with a gracious nod.

"All right!" Amy straightened up decisively, taking Cream's hand instead. "I think we need to feed this little rabbit," as she said this, she began to tickle Cream's tummy, to which Cream laughed hysterically, "and probably this wise guy hedgehog here, too. We'll catch you later, girls! Hurry up and change, dear. Where do you want to go tonight?"

"Doesn't mother want me home?" Cream wondered.

"Hunger comes before curfew. We're feeding you first. Besides, both of us are safer with Sonic, hmm?" Amy kissed her girlfriend's cheek.

"I guess…" Cream teased doubtfully, raising a wise eye to Sonic's level, whereas the male promptly stuck his tongue out at her.

"Go and change, dear," Amy told her. "Then we'll go to Gladly's."

"Yay! I _love_ that place!" Cream giggled and ran off to change.

………………………………..

Later that night, after the trip to Gladly's, Sonic was walking the girls home. Cream was fast asleep, Amy carrying her piggyback.

"She really wore herself down!" Sonic noted with amazement. He had watched the little rabbit grow from uncertain childhood into womanhood in what seemed to be a matter of hours. Why, just yesterday he was picking flowers with her, wasn't he? And things were so simple, then… Amy's voice, as usual, pulled him from his daydream.

"Yeah, she really does a lot for the school, and between working and homework and school and extra-curricular activities…she still manages to stay strong."

"She's got you," Sonic responded warmly. Then, in the same tone, he added: "You must be very proud."

"I am, I am," Amy bounced Cream back into place, and the two walked in silence for a while.

Finally, Amy's voice broke the silence. "I think you'd better get home now, Sonic. I thought I heard Knuckles singing a couple blocks back."

Sonic snorted. "He's not the only drunk who sings, you know."

"He's the only red echidna drunk I know that sings." Amy pointed out. "Go on; Vanilla's house is just a few blocks away. We'll be fine. I've still got my hammers, you know."

Sonic smiled. "Yeah, I do." Then, he kissed Amy's cheek tenderly, and ruffled Cream's ears. "See ya, kid," he whispered before taking off into the great expanse of darkness, leading to his small home on the outskirts of town.

*FLASHBACK

Sonic had watched Cream and Amy ordering food. Cream went with her favorite cheese sticks and a peanut butter and chocolate sundae, while Amy had spicy chicken fries and a small bowl of chocolate ice cream. He himself nibbled on the fries Cream was sharing with him and sipping at his soda for sugar, claiming he wasn't very hungry.

In all truth, he was _starving_. The smell of the spicy chicken…even that of the hot, melted cheese, made his stomach roar with immense hunger. But, unfortunately, Knuckles liked the thinness Sonic could possess when he went a long day without eating (the less he ate, the thinner his waist became; by the end of the day, he could be near the bone…and hungry as anything!), and liked it even more when his skinniness was taken to extreme measures.

Sonic had eaten very little this past year, and it was mostly thanks to the return of Shadow.

After their outer space battle, everyone thought Shadow and Cosmo had died, but one year later, Cosmo returned, filling Tails with joy. At about the same time, Knuckles confessed to Sonic that he loved him, and Sonic accepted him as a partner. Two years passed, and Cream expressed her love for Amy, and the pink hedgie likewise; thus was their love. A few months later, towards the end of June after Sonic was eighteen, Shadow reappeared.

Knuckles became restricting, protective. He kept Sonic cooped up in the house until Sonic was driven towards mental instability. He would starve Sonic for weeks, feed him a little, and then starve him again. The only time Sonic was ever let out was to save the day.

One day when he was especially hungry after defeating Eggman, Sonic treated himself to a chilidog feast. Knuckles, furious, made him sick with rotten milk so that he threw up everything in his stomach until he was thin again. The same would happen if Sonic ate without Knuckles' permission. That August, he'd passed out on an extremely hellish day, having to survive through nearly two months with just two slices of birthday cake and thirty or so chilidogs, and was allowed a small ice cream cone to cool down. After that, Knuckles let him eat more regularly…but then came the drunken beatings…

Sonic couldn't bear to love in memories anymore. He was staring at his front door, his hand on the doorknob.

"_And so the little children-hic! Were dancing with the Chao. And Chaos, in his watery-hic! Grave, came forward on the stair--_"

Swiftly, Sonic opened the door and plopped himself down on the couch. By the time he thought to throw up the food giving him back some of his beautiful color, the doorknob shook, and Sonic sat waiting, his whole body frozen with the intensity of the situation.

_Story of my life…_

_Sorrow in my soul_

_Cause it seems that wrong_

_Really loves my company_.

LYRICS:

Unfaithful by Rihanna


	7. You Just Lost the Game

**You Just Lost the Game**

"Knuckles!" Sonic sat up from his place on the couch, trying to keep from cringing in pain. His tailbone was so badly bruised at to sit a certain way hurt. And, in his misfortune, it happened to be the way he was sitting now.

"Get up!" Knuckles roared. "Let me see you."

Sonic stood obediently, straight and tall. Every fur on his body was stiff. It annoyed him to stand so still, but it was for his own good. Sonic couldn't help melting, though, as Knuckles began to massage his hands up and down his chest and sides, feeling at his sternum and belly. There were hints of the old love there, and Sonic liked the familiarity.

"I went out to dinner tonight, with Espio and the guys," Knuckles spoke as if sober. Sonic waited. For what, he couldn't be sure. A wrath? Barf? Something. He stood waiting like an eager puppy. Waiting, waiting…

"Hmmm," Sonic was more concerned with Knuckles' touching, because he knew he was feeling for something specific. Sonic started to breathe just a little faster.

"It was great. I had a juicy rare steak with grapes _baked into it_. I had no idea they could do that!" Knuckles chuckled, but he was actually waiting for a reaction.

At the mention of steak, Sonic could feel his hunger spike upwards like a swift turning up of volume. He closed his eyes, and whimpered as steak he could not eat floated before him in the darkness behind his eyelids. He was tempted to rest a hand over his stomach, it was so painful, but he shook himself awake and stopped the movement. Knuckles' hands had stopped roaming also. They were now feeling the front of his belly. Sonic, ticklish but unwilling to move, thought in confusion and some terror why Knuckles would stop his hands' roaming during an examination.

And then, the fries he had eaten came to mind.

_Crap!_ Sonic winced as he began to sweat with panic. _I totally forgot to throw up! Oh! Sonic, you bastard! He'll kill you now for sure, he will!_

"Sonic," Knuckles began in a low, sweet voice. "You're fat." He lifted his purple eyes to the hedgehog's level. "Care to explain?"

Sonic gulped. He had never been called "fat" before in his life by any person but Knuckles, and it was only when Sonic ate without his permission. "I…Knuckles, I was…I was going to pass out, and--"

"_**LIAR**_!" Knuckles pulled back a hand and punched Sonic right in the gut. This pushed Sonic into the couch. The ground was too soft, and Sonic couldn't get away fast enough. Knuckled pounced on him, bruising Sonic's thighs and pelvis.

"Knuckles, babe, if you'll let me explain…ow," Sonic, his face turned profile, now closed the eye closest to Knuckles out of pain.

"I don't need you _stupid_, _idiotic_, _**FAIRYTALES!**_" The echidna roared, bending close to Sonic's ear. Sonic sobbed with the pain.

"_Knuckles_!"

The echidna slapped Sonic with the back of his hand. The sharp knuckles purged Sonic's cheek, reopening the cuts from last night. Sonic sobbed as he felt the blood rushing freely. He was so lightheaded…

"Knuckles…please…" Sonic gasped for breath as Knuckles rested his full weight on blue's high-capacity lungs. "…have…mercy…I--"

The drunken laughter filled cat-like ears. "Mercy? _**MERCY**_?! _You_ think that _you_ deserve _**mercy**_?! Feh!" Knuckles laughed gleefully, evilly. "I'll show you 'mercy'!" He leaned forward, his lips over Sonic's.

"Don't, Knuckles!"

But it was too late.

Knuckles breathed one breath, and the air went right into Sonic's stomach. Knuckles pulled away and turned Sonic to the side as he vomited, then yanked him back up, cobalt shaking in his arms from sheer revulsion.

"No! Don't make me do it again! _Please_!"

But it happened again. Sonic coughed and coughed, as if he was choking on something, fearing Knuckles more and more as the torture went on.

"_Mercy--_! Ugh!" More vomit filled his throat, and Sonic had to let it out.

"You don't deserve _any_ mercy!" Knuckles cried out from the madness of alcohol. He bent forward to blow more air into Sonic's stomach, but now Sonic was struggling desperately to get away. Knuckles had before had him pinned, but now his hands were not breaking circulation in his wrists.

With the lightning-fast reflexes he was known for, Sonic slapped Knuckles across the face, and then covered his mouth with both hands from shock. _Oh my gods, Sonic. You did not just do that, you __**DID NOT**__ just do that! You fool, you fool! He'll murder you now! For sure!_

Knuckles' face was in blue's in a second. The ruby echidna's eyes blazed with rage at Sonic's unintended retaliation. At the truly murderous look in his eyes, Sonic pleaded with him.

"Knuckles! Red! Please! I didn't mean it! I'm sorry! I--"

Knuckles punched the middle of Sonic's chest. Warm liquid came up his throat, and cobalt jolted back painfully, spouting blood like a water fountain. As the blood soaked into the couch, and the two boys' fur, Knuckles' eyes grew bright with glee.

"Well…_that's_ new!"

Sonic tried to sob, but it hurt his chest, and he whimpered instead, the taste of blood in his mouth, gathering in the slots between his teeth, spilling out from between his lips. And the more he tried to talk, the more blood came.

"Knuckles, that hurts! _Please_, I'm _begging_ you! Don't--"

Knuckles punched Sonic directly between the ribs, laughing like he had just murdered someone and gotten away with it as Sonic shot back painfully, cracking his backbone.

More blood stained the forest green sofa.

"I _want_ it to hurt, you fool!" Knuckles ranted. "I _want_ to see you hurting! And, I _want_ you to remember this pain next time you decide you want a feast!" He came close to Sonic, staring him right in the eyes. Sonic's eyes darted from side of side, blood dripping down his chin. "You _got_ that, you lizard skin?"

Sonic coughed. "Yessir," a small puddle of blood that had been gathering under his tongue pooled out of his mouth, down his front. The blood smelled of vomit.

Knuckles raised both his fists. "What a mess!" He ground the knuckles on his fists between Sonic's ears, giving Sonic a headache, trying to make his cranium snap, bleed. "You stupid hedgehog! You fool! You whore! You filthy _burrowing_ creep! I hate you, I _HATE_ you!" Knuckles ground his knuckles in, harder, harder…Sonic screamed out with the pain, but this made the back of his neck hurt, the blood still pooling from his lips. "Fuck off and _die_! I don't want to see you! Why won't you just _DIE_?!"

Sonic was sobbing now, despite the pain. He could feel warm liquid wetting his fur, making the world go soft…

He was losing consciousness fast.

He crawled into the kitchen while Knuckles stumbled into the bathroom to vomit. The blue hedgehog stood upon wobbly legs, and dialed 911.

"This is 911, EM Services, how may we assist you?" A feminine voice inquired.

"H-hello, 911? Yes, I think I'm suffering from angina pectoris1, and I bumped my head on my desk…Yes, there's someone here with me, but he's drunk, I—Yes, that's right. That's the address. The door's open. All right. See you soon."

And with that, Sonic hung up the phone…and slipped into merciful unconsciousness.

1 Chest pain or pressure that comes and goes sporadically. Usually lasts less than 10 mintes.


	8. I Shouldn't Have Left You

**I Shouldn't Have Left You**

As soon as Shadow heard Sonic was in the hospital, he was out and running. He'd barely brushed his teeth and combed his fur, about to sit down to his morning coffee, when he received a call from Amy Rose, stating Sonic had been hospitalized.

For what? Shadow need not wonder the cause of the hurt—that much was clear. Even though Sonic hadn't revealed much to anyone, dark patches under his fur were sure signs of bruises and scars made by sharp-knuckled fists. Everyone knew Knuckles wasn't a loving person. It didn't take a genius to see that.

Shadow was amazed at both Sonic, and himself, that the two would actually let it come to this.

And as he skated towards the hospital, he vowed to end this, whether Sonic liked it or not.

……………………………..

At the hospital, Sonic was living like a king. He couldn't eat, but feeding tubes assured he got the food he needed. The doctors and nurses were nervous at how skinny he was, and so they fed him more than the usual three times a day. Sonic couldn't taste the food, but he could feel it in him, and that was good enough. At that point, taste didn't matter. Sonic would eat garbage, if only to be full! Sonic also got proper medical treatment for his injuries. He had broken three ribs at the base (he was wearing a splint, hidden under a thick layer of bandages), and had received a serious head injury, which had an ice pack on it and was bandages up as best as the doctors could manage.

Sonic could also sleep, which was a real treat. Back at home, he never slept. He would only pass out for a few hours, and then wake up again. It was a horrid life for anyone to live, but like a routine, Sonic had gotten used to it. This break in the routine, where he actually felt food in him all the time (it had felt so strange, that, often, when too much food was given him, he ended up throwing up), had sufficient time to sleep (he spent most of the time resting, snoring softly from exhaustion), and had his wounds treated, felt like he'd died and gone to heaven. He didn't even have to get out of bed, if he so wished it! He could just relax for once.

After eight hours, visitors were allowed in. Sonic got an influx of friends, including Cosmo and Tails, Rouge, and even Amy and Cream, on their way to school. Amy's work was closed for the day, because Shadow was on his way, too.

Visitors halted at around one in the afternoon, so Sonic decided to sleep. At one-thirty, he was awakened gently by a nurse, who had let Knuckles in. The red echidna had flowers with him. The nurse left them alone, and Knuckles, looking dead and hungover, walked over to the bed.

"I got you some flowers." He deposited them in Sonic's lap.

Sonic rested his hand over the stems and lifted them calmly to his face. "They're nice." He smelled them.

There was an awkward silence. Sonic set the flowers down again, and began to flip through a magazine Cream had left by mistake. It was so quiz magazine, so he opened up to a page, and read absently, aware that he was being watched. But, he was not afraid of Knuckles, not now. Not when Knuckles was sober…and when security cameras defended him. Knuckles walked to the window and looked out. Sonic began to whistle.

Finally, Knuckles let a huge breath free. "I—I did that, didn't I?"

Sonic looked up as if he had not heard, and then sighed, feeling the injury at his head. "Yes. To be honest, I can barely move! My broken ribs don't allow much…it hurts, breathing."

"Do you have a respirator for that?"

"Yeah." Sonic responded quietly, paging through the magazine again. The colors looked as if they were staining his gloves. "They have to put it on high power to keep up with me."

Knuckles smiled. "I figured. How are you holding up, otherwise?"

"Fine," Sonic answered solemnly. "Just fine. And you?"

"Hungover like crap," Knuckles responded, chuckling. "But I can't stop…that place has fucking good liquor."

"Don't say that."

"I'll say what I want." Knuckles turned and glared at his boyfriend. Sonic looked down at the flowers, stroking the stem of one of the pale white daisies. He was nervous yet to stand up to even a sober Knuckles.

At that moment, Shadow heard voices coming from down the hall, and decided to investigate.

There was a silence between the lovers. Knuckles crossed to Sonic.

"I—You, you c-can't say anything I don't want you to say." Sonic's finger hovered over the pager he had on hand. "One little beep, and an excuse I want to sleep, and they'll throw you out…by force, if necessary." Sonic grinned in an almost mischievous manner. Knuckles, caught in a snare, grit his teeth.

Shadow had stopped in the doorway. Sonic saw him, but gave no hint of knowing of his presence. Having just heard all that, Shadow could only watch in horror the scene unfolding.

"All right," Knuckles took Sonic's hand, the one that held the pager, forcing Sonic to drop it. "Can 'I'm sorry' be a start, hmmm?"

Sonic looked away. Knuckles gently pulled his face back towards his own.

"You still love me?"

Sonic didn't answer, but he was paralyzed. Knuckles leaned forward and kissed Sonic passionately. His hands stayed stationary. Shadow moved aside as Knuckles left.

Sonic, now laying back against the pillows, feeling very tired suddenly, looked up to see Shadow. "Hello, old friend," Sonic nodded, inviting Shadow in. "Excuse me a minute, I need my food." He pressed the pager. A nurse from across the hall appeared.

"Yes, Sonic?"

"Hey, Maple. When will my new food tubes be ready?"

"In a bit, Sonic. We can't give them to you while visitors are here, though. It's against our policy."

"Sure, I understand. Thanks, Maple."

The nurse left, and Sonic leaned back. "They broke," he explained as Shadow sat uncomfortably in a red plastic chair. He was holding a brown paper bag nervously in one hand. "They were inoperative at, like…" Sonic thought back, squinting his eyes shut. "I don't even remember, but it feels like forever, to me."

"You were unconscious for three days." Shadow twiddled his thumbs.

"No," Sonic mused, chuckling as he corrected him. "I was in and out of consciousness for three days."

"And…how are you?"

Sonic laughed easily. "Fine, for the most part. Exhausted nearly all the time. Moving hurts a lot, because of my ribs. Someone said my neck was fractured, but that can't be true, cause I can move it just fine. And I get a lot of stomach pain."

"Hunger?" Shadow laughed.

"The doctor said contractions, actually…" Sonic leaned his head back into the fluffy pillows, and closed his eyes a minute. "It's chronic, he said. Told me it happens a lot to bulimic patients."

"Contractions?" Shadow wondered.

"Muscle pain, I guess. Basically, my stomach expands and contracts, on and off. It comes from throwing up food a lot." Sonic covered his eyes with his hand. "Ugh, mirgrane…"

Shadow arose and turned off the lights, pulling the shade down over the window. "There. Is that better?"

Sonic nodded. "A little, thanks." He frowned, though, as his stomach growled. He hugged it with his hands, and whimpered quietly. "I'm _starving_! Ugh! I haven't eaten since, like, noon!"

It was only one forty eight, but Shadow could see now that Sonic's suffering bled deep. "They said they can't feed you until I leave, so…I can go, if you want."

"No!" Sonic reached out with some difficulty and grabbed Shadow's hand. "Stay. Please. I'm sorry, I'm so spoiled. It's been a long time."

"I shouldn't left you with him." Shadow sat on the edge of the bed. "I shouldn't have trusted him."

"It's…not your fault, Shadow. Whoever this happened to…"

"Sonic," Shadow turned and glared at Sonic. The blue hedgehog froze. "I _know_, okay? So can we stop pretending?"

Sonic raised his hand to object, lowered it again. He looked into Shadow's eyes, pained. "No, Shadow. We're fine, he just—I upset him, and we got into a fight, that's all. It happens in every relationship. Cream and Amy fight all the time."

"I know, Sonic. But Cream has never ended up in the _hospital_ because of it. If anything, Amy will move out for a bit, but…"

"But, sweetie," Sonic soothed, stroking Shadow's ears. This calmed the dark hedgehog, prompting him to listen. "Knuckles is a big, strong man. And, alcohol makes anyone strong. We had a spat, nothing else. I promise. Okay?"

Shadow sighed under Sonic's gentle touch. "No, but…okay." He stood up. "I think I'll go now. I can sense how undernourished you are, and you get worse by the second." He picked up the brown paper bag, and opened it, facing away from Sonic. When he turned back, he was smiling.

Sonic shivered, looking fearfully at the turquoise blade.

"Use this on Knuckles, if you and he have a fight again, okay?" Shadow pressed the knife into Sonic's hands. "It won't kill him…hit him between the tendons on his shoulder, that little valley…" Shadow showed him on his own body. "Stick the knife in there, and then get away. Okay?"

Sonic stared at the weapon fearfully. He _hated_ weapons with a burning passion, as he had seen so many die by their hands… "I—I won't need it, but I'll keep it safe for you. Thanks."

Shadow nodded, and then, hesitant, he placed a kiss on top of Sonic's forehead.

And with that, he was gone.

Sonic settled down and fell asleep, his hand tightly gripping the handle of the dagger beneath the sheets.


	9. Upon the Fridge

**Upon the Fridge**

It took three days for Sonic to be released from the hospital, and when he left, the splint was still against his ribs, mostly for good measure, for they were repaired now. His eyes were hollow, and unwilling to go back into the real world. He looked a little more well-fed now, though he had not tasted food in quite some time. He had grown more quiet and serene in the hospital, but also more freely spoken, so he would have to watch himself around his abusive partner. With one hand on the railing to steady himself and the other clutching at the dagger beneath the bandages, he took a fresh breath of open air and sped away towards home.

It was amazing how much sheer strength his body had! He could run! Though, his wounds smarted badly for it. His lungs, wounded somewhat under the surface, burned as he breathed sharply and attempted to calm his heart. His scarred throat from being on a respirator ached him, too. Some hot tea would take care of that. Sonic, upon reaching his house, let himself in.

He didn't worry about Knuckles being home. His boyfriend usually only returned at night. Right now, he was with the Chaotix, sharing laughs and the duty of guarding the Master Emerald, still his day job. Knuckles had his house on Angel Island, but Sonic preferred the planet below, so the two shared Sonic's house now. Knuckles' house was built to house two, but did not, to Sonic's knowledge.

Sonic opened up the mini bar out of habit, deciding to forego the tea and settling for a warm rum called Monkey's Breast. The rum was steaming when he poured it, and Sonic lifted the beverage to his lips and had a long, deep drink. He been given applesauce and ice cream for breakfast, two foods he actually _could_ eat without hurting his throat (though it was hard to swallow, at times), so the warm beer didn't slosh so much in his tummy.

Blue reached up into his bandages, looking for the hilt of the dagger. When he found it, he walked with it and his beer (still in hand) towards the bedroom. His eyes settled on the dresser, which held his gloves and socks.

Sonic skillfully hid the dagger side two socks, and folded his gloves over them. With any luck, Knuckles wouldn't find it. Now, Sonic did not intend to use the knife, but he didn't want Knuckles to use it on him. That would be extremely unfortunate.

Sonic decided to spend the rest of his day recuperating around the dogs and cats at the local shelter. He had made friends with the young girls who worked there, and knew the owner personally. Sonic finished off his drink and sped out of doors again, searching for the animal hospital near the deeper parts of the city.

_I've been put down, pushed around, apprehended and led downtown._

_An' I can't help it if I'm out of sight._

The old glass door opened, and an armadillo woman late in her thirties opened up. She had a small dog that looked like a wolf pup at her heels, which barked in greeting at the visitor.

"Hey, Brigit."

"Sonic!" The purple, black, and yellow armadillo laughed, embracing Sonic quickly and letting him go soon afterward. "Here to help, I presume?"

Sonic offered a lopsided grin. "Is Jamie here? Can I see her?"

Brigit laughed. "That little pup? She's still here!"

"Great!" Sonic felt a secret relief. He loved Jamie with a protective passion.

"Most of the girls have gone for lunch…did you eat something?" Brigit wondered, letting Sonic in. The blue hedgehog was careful to step around the bouncing wolf pup dog. He bent down to lift the little thing in his arms, and the dog licked him excitedly.

"Ummm, no, but…I've had a respirator in for a few days."

"Mmmm, I see. Well, I can get you some tea, if you like."

"No need, Bridge. I had some at my house…where's this little scamp go?"

Brigit laughed as she turned and saw the pup's reaction to the hands that held him. "Scar? He goes with the other little dogs."

"So, he's with Jamie?"

"Correct," Brigit smiled. "Why don't you take him there? His crate is right next to Jamie's. I've got to go tend to a sick cat."

"Oh dear," Sonic mused as he followed Brigit down one of the many halls to the medical ward. "Is it Allie?"

"Yes, it's Allie. Sonic, you haven't been here in _years_! How do you remember?" Brigit laughed.

Sonic scratched his head as best he could while holding the puppy Scar. "Ermmm…I only remember Allie's arthritis was really bad…will she recover?"

"We may have to put her down." Brigit sighed deeply, mournfully.

"No!" Sonic wheeled in protest. He loved the grandmother-like gray and white tabby with a sweet disposition and golden eyes. Allie was his savior in these dark days of abuse. So was Jamie, and so were all the animals here he'd become close to. He couldn't bear to see Allie die. "Please! Can't you save her?"

Brigit sighed. "I don't know, Sonic. I could give her some more painkillers…but it may just be her time."

Sonic thought of the splint holding his ribs together. "Could you splint her limbs?"

"I probably could," Brigit mused. "That's a lovely idea, Sonic! I know, I don't want to see her put down. Allie's going to a family tomorrow."

"Oh." Sonic couldn't help being sad, although it was hard to resist "Grandmother" Allie, as she was called. He was glad she would get proper veterinary care with a family, but…he still couldn't bear to see her go. "I need to see her, before she goes. I'll stop by after I see Jamie."

"Good idea, Sonic. By then, I'll be done splinting her." Brigit waved as Sonic continued down towards the small dogs' kennels. "See you later!"

Sonic walked past the larger, barking dogs, and into the adjourning kennels where the smaller dogs were kept. These were far fewer in number, because the small pups were easily adopted out to good homes, which Sonic was glad for. Because of their short stay here, he'd never been friends or grown too attached to any particular puppy here…

Except Jamie.

Her full name was Jamais, the French word for "never." She was named for being a fighter, never giving in. When she was brought in, she was barely a week old and so ill…but she hung tough, and was soon well. Sonic had fallen in love with Jamie from the start, from her soft brown eyes to her sweet smile and wet black nose.

When she smelled him, Jamie started going wild. She yipped at the door to her cage as Sonic put Scar in his kennel and opened hers. Jamie nearly jumped into his arms.

Sonic laughed. "Whoa, there! _Some_one's happy to see me! Easy, easy girl! I missed you, too!" He hugged the miniature poodle gently but tightly to his chest. Jamie ruffed in his face, licking his chin.

Sonic thought that maybe one day, when it was safer at home, he would adopt Jamie. It was a surprise why no one wanted Jamie, but the thought was that no one wanted a white poodle dipped in soot, for that was Jamie's coloring. She even had a little gray in her—a tri-color, which was rare, and close to impossible. But that didn't matter to Sonic. Her wagging tail always made him feel better after a long, hard week.

And he'd had a tough week indeed.

_I've been hurryin', I've been worryin'. _

_I've been runnin' against the wind. _

_I've been bettin' my soul on a long shot roll, _

_That a good man never wins. _

LYRICS:

Restless by Alison Krauss and Union Station

Finding My Way Back Home by Lee Ann Womack

_:D what is it with all the country? Lol filler, I suppose…who's ready for more drama?_


	10. Dogfight

**Dogfight**

The day Grandma Allie was adopted out, there was a strange occurrence in the dog kennels.

Now, there was a playroom between the two kennels where dogs of all shapes and sizes could mingle. And it was watched by shelter staff to be sure nothing too awful happened.

As it was, there were two German Sheppard sisters named Mai and Kite. Mai was the older, stronger one. She was more tan than black, except for the beautiful saddle on her back. Kite was black all over except on her hind legs and near her tail, but she was a sweet dog anyway. They both were, really. Very friendly.

And they were good friends with Jamie as well. The three were often seen together, which was good, because Jamie needed the protection of the two larger dogs.

There was a troublesome pitbull named Grey, which a patch of that color over one eye. He picked on all the smaller dogs, and basically anything that moved. But, alas, it was cruel to keep him in his cage. And he had not been bad for weeks. Everyone at the shelter expected good behavior from the pit.

Sonic happened to be on playroom duty that afternoon. It was slow and lazy. Sonic was drinking lemonade and watching the dogs play.

Suddenly, for no reason, Grey lunged at Jamie's neck, an intended death bite. Sonic reeled as he watched Mai get in front of Jamie and Kite take the poodle puppy away from the commotion.

Mai and Grey began biting at each other and growling, circling and lunging at each other. The other dogs cowered in corners, but Kite, safely away at the far end with Jamie, sat tall and watched her sister fight. Sonic could do nothing. His head was spinning, taking in the signs he was seeing.

"If I tell Shadow the truth…" Sonic murmured. "…then they'll fight to the death for me." The two dogs were, certainly fighting to the death. Sonic stood, frozen by shock until Grey bit Mai's flank. Her cry sent him spiraling down the hallway to get help.

Suddenly, everything was a blur of color and motion. Mai managed to make Grey back off somehow, winning the fight with costly injuries. Sonic remembered being told by Brigit to call Tails. He remembered watching on the sidelines with Amy, Cream, and Cosmo as Tails and Brigit operated to save Mai's life. Kite and Jamie were whimpering in a kennel just outside the waiting room. They, too, were wondering if Mai was going to be all right.

"Oh, I _do_ hope they can save her!" Cosmo fussed. "She's such a sweet dog."

Cream and Amy nodded, holding one another's hands for good luck. Sonic had no one to comfort him, so he stood in awed silence, watching the shadows of the armadillo and two tailed fox through the window, working under strained light and desperate circumstances to save Mai's life—to _NOT_ separate the sibling Sheppards.

It seemed years before Tails emerged, removing his surgical gloves. Cosmo reached her hand out for him, taking a few tentative steps forward.

"Tails…?" Cosmo pleaded.

Tails looked around at everyone once, and spoke three words: "She made it."

A chorus of sighs of relief erupted from the small party. Cosmo hugged Tails tightly in appreciation.

"But," Brigit added in a somber voice, and this halted celebration. "She needs a place to stay to recover--"

"Tails and I will take her." Cosmo interjected immediately. Sonic smiled at her in gratitude. She had a big heart, and that would get her far. Sonic could see why Tails was so infused with her.

"—and someone needs to tell Kite." Brigit finished.

Amy, Tails, and Sonic's ears all flopped simultaneously. Cream began to sob into Amy's shoulder, clutching at her girlfriend.

"Big sister, no," Cream sobbed, obviously expressing sentiments from a time long past. "Don't leave me! Don't leave me!"

Amy rubbed her back. "I won't, Cream. Not ever. Not ever. I won't, I won't,"

"Don't leave me, don't leave me…"

Sonic sighed, his ears straightening. He felt like a couple hundred rocks had settled in his stomach. "I'll tell her," he said solemnly. Everyone looked up, and Cream's sobs skipped a beat. Those present parted like the Red Sea for Sonic to pass through, and the blue hedgehog walked back into the kennel where Jamie and Kite sat waiting.

Kite had been pacing, and Jamie was sticking her nose through the bars, but Kite turned around and wagged her tail eagerly, as did Jamie, when Sonic appeared. The little puppy looked pretty depressed, while the German Sheppard looked anxious.

Sonic opened the cage and walked in. As if defeated, he sat heavily down on the floor, hurting his bruised tailbone in the process. Sensing a great weight on his shoulders, the two dogs padded over to him. Kite sat at his side, and Jamie clamored into his lap.

Sonic hugged the German Sheppard around the neck. "Your sister's going to be okay. The surgery went well." He released the German Sheppard. Kite licked his face. The hedgehog had no idea how much she understood of this. He stroked Jamie once. "But…she's going to live with my friends Tails and Cosmo until she gets better, okay? She needs some time to recover, apart from you."

Kite barked and wagged her tail. She didn't understand. Sonic hugged her, as he felt tears come to his eyes. "Why can't I make you understand?" He moaned. "If you protect Jamie, you'll get hurt! I mean, I'm grateful for help, so grateful…but don't try too hard to protect me." His sobs made his voice leave him.

As Mai limped by her sister's kennel, she licked Kite's nose.

Sonic had never heard Kite wail like that before. She sounded so miserable.

The blue hedgehog covered his ears to try and drown out the sound. But even muffled, Kite's cries haunted him to his very core.


	11. Horrors

**Horrors**

The sea. It had always been a worthy opponent, and one of the only things to strike fear into his golden heart. It seemed hungry to him, its cold fingers grabbing at the sand, itching to swallow him whole in its gaping maw of darkness. There was no air there; he would drown.

It was hard to run on the sand, so Sonic slowed to a walk. The ground up bits of stones and shells were remnants of the ocean's past dinners, regurgitated into a mighty land mass.

_I'll bet you're pretty proud of yourself_, Sonic thought to the sea. _You can create, just like the gods. _Frightened at the way his body moved so mechanically, he walked forward. The fingernails of the waves moistened the souls of his shoes, making Sonic's feet cold. But he had to go on. He would end everything: the sorrow, the pain, the abuse, the fear, the love, the secrets…everything. His world would be over soon.

Sonic took a deep breath as he waded into the shallow waters. The cold numbed him after a bit so that he did not feel the cold, but he could feel the pull. It captured the fur around his ankles, his knees, his thighs, his waist, beckoning him, drawing him, deeper and deeper into the hungry stomach of the water before him. It was then that Sonic did something he never thought he would do.

He sprang up out of the water, and jumped into the vast expanse of dark water before him. He could no longer touch the bottom, here. He gasped above the water for a few breaths, then fought for the surface no longer. His eyes were open, and the salt stung his eyes. He could see the late afternoon's orange sky from beneath the surface of the dark water, he could feel the fish swimming uselessly around him. He felt a pinprick of fear as he thought of sharks that might come out to feed soon. He was afraid.

And then, he began to think of how cowardly this was. Although it was in his nature to run away from his problems, never in his life before this time had he ever thought of suicide. Much less suicide in _this_, somewhat extreme, manner. _I'm a coward, I'm a coward…_

His lungs were strong, and they could hold out. He didn't feel the pain from a loss of oxygen. He thought of his friends. Tails and Cosmo, Amy and Cream, both so happy together—so in love. "Love" wasn't something Sonic had experienced in quite a bit of time. He had always thought of Amy and Cream as little sisters, Tails as a little brother. When Cosmo joined them, she, too, became his little sister—one he felt it his duty to protect. What would they all say? Would they cry for him? He hoped not. He would be happy, because the abuse would end with his death. He hoped they would all understand that some day.

What of Eggman? He'd gotten lost out there in space the same time they lost Cosmo. Was he still out there, looking for a way home? Sonic thought over his battles, realizing his life was flashing before his eyes. This was it, he was staring the Reaper in the face.

Then, Sonic began to think about Jamais, the sweet little poodle puppy, and Kite and Mai, and all the other dogs and cats that lived at the shelter. What would become of them? What would happen to Jamie? Sonic had always wanted to see her go to a good home, and that wasn't with Knuckles. He hoped Shadow would adopt her, in his memory. That, he knew, was real love. If he had waited for Shadow, he wouldn't be in this mess right now. He blamed himself for the abuse now, because it was really his fault. If he'd listened to the force inside him that told him Shadow was still alive, he would've never had to be abused by Knuckles. He winced, and let himself think about Shadow.

The dark tan muzzle fur, the shapely body, that little tuft of white fur on his chest, the quills that were styled to curve upward, those deep, red eyes, those kissable, full lips…Sonic's heart sighed as he mourned his lost love. He closed his eyes as his lungs began to scream from the lack of oxygen. He could build Shadow's face to a tee. But while he was constructing the red eyes, Knuckles burst into his thoughts.

Sonic thought of the pain and suffering and fear and hatred that went with this face, and found himself reluctantly building a picture of it. Presently, Sonic cried out and broke the surface of the water, gasping for breath. A huge wave hit him over the head, spinning him towards the shore. His injured underside scraped the harsh, unforgiving sand, opening new wounds that stung when treated with salt water. Sonic coughed, still too affected by the power of the ocean water to stand yet. Another wave encouraged him forward, leaving his form sputtering for air.

And he decided that he would live.

As he walked back up to the shore, heart pounding and body aching from tire, he decided right then that not only would he live…

But that tomorrow, he would tell Shadow.

_Everything_.


	12. Meet Me Tomorrow by the Dead End Street

**Meet Me Tomorrow by the Dead End Street**

Shadow had just gotten out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his middle. He'd had a wonderful night out with Rouge and her brother Voleur, going to see the new movie _Alec in Vunderland_. With his stomach full of buttery popcorn and soda, and his fur warm and wet, he was drying off when the phone rang. He casually picked it up and squeezed it between his shoulder and his ear, because his hands were busy.

"Hello? Shadow the Hedgehog, here."

"Hey, Shadow." The beaten voice made Shadow drop his towel to the floor, grabbing for the phone.

"_**Sonic**_?! How are you? What happened?! I heard about Kite and Mai from…" Shadow realized he was babbling, but he didn't care.

"Everything's fine, just fine. Knuckles still hasn't come home."

Shadow let free a relieved breath. "And?"

"And, well…I'd like to see you tomorrow."

"Sure." Shadow answered in a calm voice, though he was secretly excited to see his love. "Shall we have lunch at the Pavillion?"

"I can't swallow well…"

"All right, did you have a place in mind?"

"Yeah, I did, in fact. Do you remember that old ice cream parlor by the dead end street downtown?"

"Yeah! Pops?" Shadow asked.

"That's the one! I was wondering…" he trailed off bashfully, "if you'd like to meet me there tomorrow."

"Of course I would," Shadow answered soothingly.

"Okay!" Sonic seemed relieved. "Meet me tomorrow at noon by the dead end street! Don't be late!"

"Ha! Ha! Will do. Same goes for you." Shadow responded, glad for the meaningless conversation between them.

"Yeah, yeah…Oh, and Shadow?"

This found the dark hedgehog about to hang up. "Yes?"

"I'm going to tell you…everything."

_Woo! Sorry about these short chapters. More in the future, my duckies! :D_


	13. Let it Come

**Let it Come**

_Let it come, let it come, _

_Let it come undone,_

_Unravel like an ancient tapestry,_

_Let it fall in ruins to the floor._

_Let everything expose itself,_

_Let love at once be free._

_Let love, let love,_

_Let love be._

He was running late.

_Perfect way to start out a positive relationship, _he thought bitterly, eyes scouring the blur of colors for the one that would reassure him. He was close to Pops now, and he hoped Sonic was waiting…

Shadow took a deep breath to calm his thudding heart. When had he ever felt this way, about anyone or anything? When had he ever had to fawn over someone? When…had he ever been in love?

"Never." The word passed Shadow's lips as his ruby eyes fell on Sonic, sitting on the ground in the shade of the pink and green awning flapping in the wind above their heads. His fur was newly washed and brushed, and he smelled of the wild expanse of wilderness he'd so come to love. And the smell which Shadow adored.

Sonic seemed half-asleep, his neck arched and his head lazing against the concrete wall. Shadow couldn't imagine this would be comfortable, but then again, Sonic had slept a lot of places in his day. One leg was pulled towards him, the hands protecting his vulnerable stomach, which dipped low, though his fur did a good job of covering his ribs up. Sensing a shadow over him, Sonic's eyes twitched and fluttered open. With a yawn that seemed to wake his whole body, he looked upon Shadow. The grin was relief…and love.

"About time you showed up. Thanks for coming." Sonic arose, squinting with his body's protest. His voice mixed attitude with deep affection. It sounded sexy to Shadow. The dark hedgehog had fallen for Sonic's wit during their first few fights together. Yes, _he_ was the one who had fallen first, not Sonic. Back then, Sonic was—not young—but too focused on what he saw as his duty to even allow himself to fall in love. Shadow had no ties to anything…but he had fallen for Sonic quite easily.

"I got a bit sidetracked…wondering if I should bring you flowers." Actually, he'd overslept, but Sonic didn't need to know that. Shadow smirked, lowering his eyelids in an attractive manner.

"Ha! You needn't, this is _far_ from a date!" Sonic spread his arms out, indicating to the place and time.

"It is _so_ a date," Shadow shot back. "I'm nearly fifty in age—I think I know a lot more about _romance_ than you do."

"I like older men," Sonic shrugged, "but not when they're _jerks_."

"You calling me a jerk?"

"I'm calling you a card," in that instant, Sonic was no longer beside him, rubbing his shoulder against Shadow's black arm. He was by the door, holding it open. "And now, I'm calling you inside. C'mon."

Shadow snorted. With all that had happened, Sonic hadn't changed a bit. And that was what amazed Shadow the most. It was a sort of miracle, to see Sonic in a marvelous set of spirits. Shadow walked forward and stopped at the door, taking it from Sonic. "Ladies first."

"So I'm a lady now?" Sonic chuckled, but accepted Shadow's invitation and walked through the door.

"Where do we sit?" Shadow asked, lowering his voice to a whisper.

"I had Pops set up a booth for us in the back."

"You made reservations?"

Sonic laughed. "Well, if you'd like to call asking for a favor 'making reservations,' then, yes, I did."

Shadow leaned in even closer. "Does he _know_?"

Sonic thought a moment. He and Shadow didn't need to discuss the object of what Pops "knew;" they both understood very well. "I'm not sure." Sonic responded finally, shrugging.

They walked to the booth that said "reserved" and removed the sign. Shadow set it on the counter, and then picked up his menu. Sonic reclined into the leather backing of the booth—slowly, so as not to aggravate his injuries—and stared into the ceiling. The bell on the door jingled merrily as another patron walked in the door. Some jazzy song from summers past floated around the ice cream parlor as some children on bar stools giggled and licked whipped cream off their fingers.

Finally, Shadow looked up. "Aren't you going to take a look at the menu?"

Sonic laughed. "I've got a custom order, minus a few things. Think I'll have to skip the sprinkles and candy—I can't swallow too well."

"Why? Oh." Shadow remembered Sonic had used a respirator in the hospital, and that they can scar the throat, making it hard for Sonic to swallow. Usually, it would make swallowing at all impossible, but because Sonic was a fast healer, he was gifted with a very mild backlash. The bruises and cuts on his body from his abusive boyfriend were dug into, months upon months of abusive contact. They were deep-set, which was why they took so long to heal.

Sonic nodded. "Yeah. Think I'll go with two scoops of mint, two scoops of fudge brownie…oh don't look at me like that, I can swallow if its soft—and some white chocolate sauce, and caramel sauce, and of course dark chocolate sauce, and…"

Shadow laughed aloud. "I think the waitress better bring a _looonngg_ sheet of paper!"

"Waitress?" Sonic glanced at Shadow, a look of age-old mischief in his eyes. "Ha! She knows the usual. I just have to tell her the stuff I can't have, and what I'm using to replace it."

"Which would be these various sauces, I assume."

"Oh! The mint sauce is good!" Sonic added. "But I won't be able to taste it on the mint ice cream…you'll have to try it!" He smiled at Shadow brightly. Shadow closed the menu.

"I'm not getting anything fancy. I'm just getting a scoop of vanilla ice cream."

Sonic pouted. "C'mon, Shadzy, at least have a _little_ fun!"

Shadow was smacked by the pout, and the nickname. He felt it should piss him off…no one should call him such a "baby" name and get away with it! And yet…Sonic doing it was all right.

"I'll tell you what you should get…" Sonic rubbed his finger under his nose haughtily. "They have a thing called a doughnut boat. It's vanilla or chocolate ice cream on top of a chocolate or glazed doughnut."

"I'm not getting that. I have to work for this figure."

"For me?" Sonic batted his eyelashes, and while Shadow was stunned, cobalt went on. "Oh, and we'll have to get you _rainbow_ vanilla, because that's the _best_, and cookie bits, y'know?"

"Sonic…"

"White chocolate or dark?" Sonic asked with a grin.

…_Do you hear the conversation we talk about?_

The waitress brought out the ice cream. Sonic dug right into his, but Shadow had no idea how to eat his. The scoop of rainbow ice cream sat on top of a delicious glazed doughnut, and mint sauce (ordered by Sonic, not him), an off-white liquid, spilled down onto the plate.

Sonic was chewing on a brownie bit when he saw Shadow hesitating. He reached over with his spoon, and took a he scoop of the rainbow ice cream from the top. He swallowed the brownie in his mouth, and made the ice cream disappear. Shadow took a spoonful with a smile. "You've got a bit of whipped fat on your cheek."

Sonic wiped it off with a napkin. "Whipped fat?" He questioned, giving Shadow an odd look.

"Whipped cream is nothing but calories, Sonic."

"It's not like I seriously need to diet right now, Shadz." Sonic pointed out, a bit mournfully.

"You got me there."

They ate in relative silence for a bit, until Sonic looked up at Shadow. He was balancing green mint ice cream on his spoon, licking at it with his tongue. "Hey, Shadow?"

"Yes?" Shadow looked up as well, still chewing a piece of doughnut.

"I…I'm gonna tell you." Sonic said.

_O.o long chapter for you guys! Be on the edge of your seats for next time! :D_

_LYRICS:_

Dizzy by Jimmy Eat World


	14. I'm Gonna Tell You

**I'm Gonna Tell You**

Shadow was flabbergasted, and the look on his face showed it. "You're…you're seriously going to tell me?"

Sonic nodded, swallowing thickly and resting his elbows on the table. He was almost done with his ice cream now, but Shadow looked like he had barely started his. "When I came into your office that day, yes, it was Knuckles that made me throw up. And yes, Knuckles put me in the hospital. This is all confidential, because if Knuckles finds out, he'll kill me."

"I may not be in my office," Shadow said, "but I'm still under my code. I'm not allowed to tell to anyone anything you don't want me to."

Sonic smiled shakily, lowering his voice. "And every reason I had to come to you in the past…it was Knuckles that did it. And, I never really loved him." His voice was becoming shaky with tears. "I never…he's going to punish me for eating, but…I never loved him. And…I think he knew that. That's why he abuses me. That's why he kept me locked up after you came back. That's why he tortures me for no reason every day he comes home drunk…"

"I can prepare a restraining order." Shadow told Sonic, resting his hand over the cobalt hedgie's.

Sonic shook his head, drawing his hand away from contact. "_No_."

"No?" Shadow was incredulous.

"There…there is a part of him that I care deeply for. It isn't romantic love, but it's a part of him I do sincerely care for."

"The man who beats you up…you still love?" Shadow's face contorted into a disturbed look. His and Sonic's ice creams were melting.

Sonic shook his head. "No, not the man. The boy." He looked up into Shadow's face, lost in his memories. Tears streamed from his eyes, absorbed into his fur. He was smiling. "The boy who I knew was a hothead. The boy I met years ago, Guardian of Angel Island. He was attractive, protective, not to say that I was attracted to him myself, but…there was attraction in his opposition, there was fun in pushing him too far. We were flirting, in our way." He sniffled. "Don't forget, I knew him before I knew you. And my love of opposition grew into a deep love for you."

"I see," Shadow mused thoughtfully, stroking his chin. "You mean to saw that you feel you owe him for your love of me?"

Sonic nodded. "Which may be why I fought against my gut to love him the way I did. But I was a fool, I was a fool because that was _not_ why I fought against my heart to love him. Baby…" he looked away from Shadow, deeply ashamed. Red crossed his muzzle, and then he turned his head back, staring at the plastic table before him. "I…I used him. I used his love for me to pleasure myself, because I was so tired of waiting. I thought if I had found love from opposition, I could love him the way I loved you. But I was wrong, of course. I got what I wanted…! But only pain and suffering followed. And once you returned…" a great sob shook him, and he dove into his arms, crying softly. There was a bit of unintelligible mumbling, and then he spoke clearly from inside his little cave. "Once you returned, the gods proved to me what a fool I'd been. Everything, the abuse, the hate, everything was my fault."

"How can you say that?" Shadow asked softly, reaching over the table to rest a hand on Sonic's shaking shoulder. "How can you believe that? Sonic, the abuse is never the fault of the one abused, no matter what the backstory is! He hurt you, and that is what will matter in the courts, not your selfishness!" At the word, Sonic's sobs, quiet though they were, began anew, and Shadow regretted his use of the word. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean selfishness."

"Is…is that what you think of me?" Sonic sniffled, a sob crossing his lips. His green eyes were staring at his blue knees. His fur had parted in some places to reveal great blue and black bruises up and down his knees and scars on his thighs.

"No, no," Shadow soothed, but Sonic went on as if Shadow had never spoken.

"You'd be right, to say it. I'm not at all a hero. Not when I can't even handle this!" He kicked the table, ratting the ice creams, making him cry more at the pain in his foot.

"Sonic, _no one_ could handle this! I think even I, great as I am, would be crying now. I would be groveling after the first night! You're stronger than me, really," Shadow had not meant to say so much, but somehow, comforting Sonic was more important than his own pride. And, his conscious began to see the truth—that, really, Sonic was quite stronger than he had ever been—as his subconscious rambled on. "I mean, look at me! Do you remember, I was so bent on revenge for my family that I nearly destroyed the whole human race?! I do not know what happened to your family, Sonic, but you killed no one over them, to my knowledge. I made everyone hate me, and you did everything you could to make them love you! You have never taken revenge on anyone! Sonic, I know nothing of saints, but if there ever was one, it would surely be you! And you took this abuse, which went on for years and years, and you grinned and beared it! You never burdened _anyone_ with your own problems, Sonic! I did nothing but mourn and complain! For as long as you kept your problems to yourself, while shouldering everyone's concerns as well—the concerns of _two_ worlds and later those of the entire _universe_—I was moping about what, compared to the problems you handled, was _nothing_! Sonic, if you blame yourself--!"

Sonic had looked up at some point during the conversation, his eyes far off as he listened. But now, the glaze over his eyes was gone, and reality set in. "Let's go," he said softly. "I've already paid Pops. Let's go, let's go." He slid out of the booth, defeated, and walked slowly to the door. Shadow, dumbfounded, followed after a moment.

The melting ice cream spilled out of the dishes and dripped hypnotically onto the floor.

_The poem at the beginning of "Let it Come" is MY ORIGINAL WORK! You can use it, if you credit it. Thanks!_


	15. Feels Like the Weight of the World

_That last chapter is what I remember from my internal fights with myself, over the relationship this story is dramatized as: the internal fight, and the fight with my friends as well. Although I was not physically hurt…I was still abused on some level._

**Feels Like the Weight of the World**

_If you love me, then let go of me._

_I won't be held down_

The day seemed to end too fast. Already, the last cars were dozing lazily on the streets, the cabs were fading away into the sunset. There was no chance of being hit by a car; there were too few. Young lovers walked the streets, hand in hand, giggling and kissing. Married couples drifted like falling leaves into the diners and casinos. Elder couples sat on the benches, watching the cars go by, or walked down to the sea, the woman's arm through her husband's. This seemed to be the time of lovers, when Cupid was strongest, and made his mark known on the city.

_Freefall, freefall, all through life._

Old time music drifted out of the cars and radios in the houses. An old jazz, sounding of summer, though the season was far away. The Mobian springs and summers were long, long days. It was just starting to smell of spring; only three days ago did all the ice cream shops reopen. Schools would soon be closing for spring break, and then returning for the long few terms before summer break. The longest break of the year.

They were not far from Pops. They had been walking slowly, staying close to one another. Shadow was far off, but Sonic seemed observant, watchful, as if he could smell the emotions of the elderly couple walking into the sunset—old love that seemed eternal, and would endure beyond death—the teenagers, and the married couples. He had always been fascinated by the sounds of the city at this hour, and it calmed him. He loved this city. He felt a part of it, bonded to it. Even when Shadow was gone…this was where the flower of their love was cultivated and where it bloomed like a stubborn spring crocus, waiting to be nurtured by hand, so it could grow more. Sonic had once seen Cosmo talking to plants—aloud—and wondered what they knew. Surely trees were wise…he flicked his ears and stopped, grabbing hold of Shadow's hand.

The sudden pull made Shadow's reflexes jump. Sonic was tugging him into an ally. "This way," Sonic encouraged, with a smile of urgency on his face. He was excited; his fur was riled up and more cobalt than Shadow had seen it in a long time. The sugar must've done that—made his coat more vibrant and change his mood. Shadow grinned to himself and followed him.

_Still in the dark, can you fix me?_

The ally was a dead end. Sonic led the way, paused, and then with a force Shadow was not expecting, had the dark hedgehog with his back against the wall. The ally itself was empty, but for useless graffiti and a few stray cats. An orange tom and a white cat with abnormally bright blue eyes lingered, purring around Sonic's sneakers, a few steps away.

Sonic had one hand against Shadow's shoulder, pressing him against the black concrete that resembled bricks. His eyes were stern, but not angry. They were meeting Shadow's gaze absolutely. Even if Shadow tried to waiver his gaze, he couldn't. Sonic would follow it. Shadow had reacted, had trapped Sonic's skinny wrist within his own hand to move to push it back. But Shadow was nearly stone, pressed that way.

Sonic moved with a great sigh, breaking the gaze and staring downward at the cats. "Do I smell like sardines? Move away, Nicotine, Rusty, I can handle my own, here,"

Shadow thought Sonic had gone cookoo, until he realized that Sonic must be talking to the cats at his feet. Of course. Sonic had quite the fancy for animals. Nicotine, the white cat with blue eyes, purred and rubbed against Sonic's ankle. Rusty, the orange tom, hovered near. Sonic released Shadow's shoulder, and bent to see the cats.

"Did you run from the shelter again? Nicotine, I have no time to run you back," he chuckled. "How are your eyes, dear? Are they any better?" He tried to look into the cat's eyes by holding the back of her neck firmly, resting the chin upon his knee. Shadow was dumbfounded as he watched. "Ah, yes, Brigit's been treating you well. I know the shots are nasty, love, but they help you see! I know you hate the shelter. They took your babies and spayed you."

Spayed. Shadow nodded. That confirmed it—Nicotine was a female. Rusty must've been her mate, else why would the tom stick to a nearly blind cat? Ebony was startled, but not at all surprised, when he saw tears coming to Sonic's eyes.

"Well, they can't take Rusty from you, can they? Look, he followed you out! He _loves_ you, Nici! Don't let that die!" Sonic hugged the white cat, and placed her by her mate. "Shoo shoo. Rusty, you'd better take her back to the shelter. I think she'll go now."

Rusty blinked his green eyes, as if he had understood. Then, the cats left.

The two hedgehogs were alone again.

Sonic, still kneeling, wiped the tears from his eyes. Shadow chuckled. "Why?"

Sonic lifted his eyes and looked at Shadow. "Why what?"

"Why," Shadow shook his head, his chuckling turning swiftly into laughter. "Why do you bother talking to _cats_?! And wasting emotion on them! Sonic, you were _crying_! That cat understood one word you said, and that was 'sardines' and the same goes for that rusty tom! Why did you run your mouth to them! They don't listen!"

Sonic was standing now, looking down at his red sneakers. "I don't know," he responded, injured. "Why do you talk to me?"

Shadow was struck by the question, his laughing halted abruptly. "Sonic…" He responded in a near whisper. "I…I love you. I feel you complete me. You make me whole. Sonic, you are the only person who I have not lost, or been annoyed by in my whole life! I trust you with every fiber in my being. You make me feel better."

"There." Sonic met Shadow's eyes. "That last reason, that you mentioned right now. Animals make me feel better."

While Shadow was still confused, Sonic advanced. Shadow had sank onto an old cardboard box and was sitting, so Sonic stood above him. He leaned down until his breath wafted onto Shadow's face. It smelled predominantly of mint and fudge. His eyes were lidded. Shadow was looking up at him, still as stone.

"You don't understand, but then again, you don't have to. I know what I feel, and I don't have to justify my actions."

_Don't cling to me, I swear I can't fix you._

Sonic closed the rest of the space between them. Their lips were touching on the surface, but they weren't kissing yet. Shadow wanted it so badly, but he was waiting for Sonic to start it, because he knew that if he started anything, it would drive Sonic away.

_And oh, I know you don't believe in me._

"You know," Sonic's lips moving against Shadow's tickled for both of them. Cobalt smiled. "I feel like I've been waiting since birth to do this…" And he kissed Shadow.

At once, it became passionate. Both heads tilted this way and that for perfect positioning, both sets of eyes closed, consumed in passion, not willing to look at the other. They kissed and moaned and sighed, but there was no touching, no contact, other than lips. Shadow felt himself getting hard from the attention, but he calmed himself and simply enjoyed the kiss.

Sonic had not been thinking, but now he did. And he sensed a bad omen. He was cheating. This was not only bad, it was low. It was lower than Sonic had ever stooped before. Just because he didn't love Knuckles did not give him a reason to cheat! A sob broke through the kiss from his end…and Sonic fled the scene.

Shadow was still tasting Sonic on his lips, and still felt him there when he realized his blue counterpart…

Had long been absorbed into the city life around him.

_Safe in the dark, how can you see?_

_**LYRICS**_

Weight of the World by Evanescence


	16. Caught!

**Caught!**

The shower water came in a hot rush, streaming down Sonic's quills, wetting his ears, conforming to the shape of his muzzle. He was still breathing shallowly from the run back here, and not so much the run but the events which had caused him to flee.

_Kissed Shadow…cheated…I'll die for sure…he'll kill me, I swear he will…I've breathed my last breath…he'll kill me…he'll kill me._

He stood there, stunned by the heat of the water rolling down his cheeks, his quills, his back, seeping into his sneakers and dampening his socks (he would not take them off—they were his home) for what seemed like hours. In reality, it was only about thirty minutes before the hot water heater turned off of its own accord, sending icy cold water out of the showerhead.

Sonic jumped to attention at the icy water. Shivering, he pushed the shower handle off as if life depended on it and stood there, dripping, feeling empowered. His skin was cold beneath his fur, and he reached weakly for a towel.

After he felt sufficiently dry, he slipped on a cozy old sweatshirt and wandered into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator out of habit, very hungry but too on edge to eat, closed it again with a thud. He looked at an apple, staring back at him with pleading eyes. _Eat me! Eat me!_ His stomach rumbled once, and he reached out for it.

His fingers were almost touching it when the phone rang. Sonic jumped, as if he had just been told to freeze by the police. When he realized it was just the phone, he crossed the short distance to the corded phone, attached to the wall. He picked up, his hands shaking uncontrollably. "H-hello?" He stammered into the mouth piece.

"Sonic! Sonic, are you all right?" It was Shadow, calling from a payphone, most likely. Sonic didn't recognize the number.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine," Sonic lied. In all truth, he was fighting with himself. He knew what he had done—cheating—was bad. So then…why did it feel so good?

"Why did you run off? Were you hurt?" Shadow was panicking.

Sonic chuckled uneasily. "No, Shadow. I just…" _had to get away because what I did was wrong_, "…wasn't feeling too good, that's all."

"Oh." Shadow appeared apologetic. "Do you want me to come over?"

"_No_! I mean--" Sonic paused, running a hand through his damp quills. "It's okay. I'll be fine."

Suddenly, the door handle turned. "Uh oh." Sonic bit his lip.

" 'Uh oh'? What's 'uh oh'?!" Shadow demanded.

But Sonic couldn't speak.

Because there, in the doorway, with the weight of three days of drinking on him…was the red echidna. His purple eyes were wild with drunken fury. Sonic dropped the phone out of shock.

"Who are you talking to?" Knuckles asked in a semi-reasonable tone. Then, as the drink became wild in him, he roared: "_**WHO**_ are you talking to?!"

"N-no…Amy! Yes, that's right. She called because I--" Sonic stammered. Unfortunately for him, Shadow picked now to be concerned.

"Sonic? Hello? Who's there?"

Sonic stared in disbelief at the prone phone, swinging back and forth like a doomsday pendulum. Then, he looked fearfully back towards Knuckles. The echidna was steaming. He had a liquor bottle in his hand, but now he threw it at Sonic.

"**YOU **_**BASTARD**_!" He shrieked. "_Damn_ you, _damn you to __**hell**_! I'm going to _murder_ you! No, I'm going to hurt you _so bad_, you'll _**wish**_ you were _**dead**_!" All the while, he was stomping forward, Sonic, on the ground now, was crawling backwards.

"N-Knuckles, p-please, i-it isn't…"

"I don't need your _**CRAP**_!" Knuckles shouted, kicking Sonic in the base of the spine. Sonic cried out as blood shot up his throat and onto the floor. "Take off that sweatshirt and get into bed! I'll deal with you later."

Sonic, shivering, sat up and stood amongst the glass shards and walked away with his tail between his legs and his ears and head drooping down in submission. Knuckles, staggering with the weight of alcohol, bent to pick up the phone. He put it to his ear and chuckled drunkenly into it.

"Is this Knuckles?" Came the voice of Shadow, cool but angry. He only got a chuckle in response. "Listen, you bâtard, I know everything. I know everything about you and Sonic and what you did to him." The mad chuckling persisted, which made Shadow angrier. He began to shout. "I can have you _in court_ in three seconds! I can promise you that! You won't get away with this any more!"

"Won't I?" The echidna chuckled, amused, leaning against the counter. "Lemme tell ya somethin, pretty boy. I know you'd like to be Sonic's prince in shining armor, comin to rescue him from the dragon. But you forget that Sonic belongs to me now. He'll do what I tell him, out of fear and out of love--"

"He _**NEVER**_ loved you!" Shadow growled into the phone. But Knuckles only continued on.

"—even if it means lying and saying _you_ were lying. He's been with me this long, and he isn't going to leave now."

"_Oh_ yes he is! I'm going to call my firm right now, and--"

"And _what_?" Knuckles asked, feeling empowered. "Your firm can't do _shit_!" And he laughed and gargled and laughed some more. Shadow wanted very much to wring that fat, red neck of his. "I told you—I own Sonic. And there's nothing you or your _firm_," he said "firm" in a mocking way, "can do about it!" And with maniacal laughter, Knuckles slammed the phone down on the hook. "Sonic!" He roared. "Go into the bathroom and throw up! _Now_!"

"Yes, Knuckles!" Sonic called obediently from the bedroom. There was the sound of wind, the slam of the bathroom door, and the sound of regurgitation and tears. Knuckles could only laugh.

Shadow stood with the buzzing of the phone in his ear, frozen to the spot.

For once, he—the Ultimate Lifeform—was powerless.


	17. Take Me Away

**Take Me Away**

_By the way, "b__â__tard" is "bastard" in French. Tee hee. :3_

_Oh, me! How dare I start off drama with something so lighthearted! :/ Anyway, here we go! Chapter 16._

_You little runaway _

_Run over the hills _

_But I'm standing in your way _

_Cause loneliness kills _

Shadow leaped up to grab the rungs on the base of the fire escape and climbed it swiftly all the way to the rooftop. His quarry was there. Waiting, watching, hoping…maybe even praying, though he'd never been one to turn to uncaring deities. And no one could blame him, when one knew the troubles he bore.

"I'm here, Sonic!" Shadow called, panting in the early morning as his knees hit the rooftop. Since his speed was artificial, he was unused to physical exertion…especially this early in the morning. "I'm here. You called?" He had. From a payphone just outside of town.

Sonic's skeletal form stood outlined against the rising sun. He looked so lonely, so thoughtful. The wind stirred his quills and his thin fur. Dew was materializing on the fur just at the tips of his ears, making them sparkle. He shivered from the wind he so loved, cold even when the day promised to be warm, in the early parts of the day. Something told Shadow he hadn't slept, and it wasn't the shadows under his eyes. Those, those were truly bruises. They were not from tire. He turned in the sunlight, away from the wind. His quills, dead weights giving him the only weight he had, most likely, flew over his shoulder and again out behind him. Five, all uniquely beautiful. But just because they were his. Shadow refused to see beauty in anyone living but Sonic the Hedgehog.

"Thanks for coming, Shadow." Sonic's voice was even, but hoarse. He'd been crying.

_Cause loneliness kills _

Shadow stood uneasily and looked at Sonic across the way. The tawny belly fur had grown to clinging to his side, because he was shedding unnaturally from his condition of health. On the inside of his legs and around his tail, he was beginning to bald. Because the hair had faded away, Shadow could see scars and bruises covering the skin beneath the existing fur…and the ribs, right where they dipped to meet the chest. Horrid. Shadow nearly threw up himself. Sonic was breathing so shallowly. Keeping back sobs, ebony suspected.

"Why did you want me here so early?"

"I came to say goodbye." Sonic's green gaze hugged the bird shit covered rooftop, and then he looked shyly back up at Shadow from a slightly bent head. "You complete me," and his head lolled to the side, so that he looked like a creepy doll in a pawn shop, "I thought I owed you…you _are_ the weight on my body, why it can take so much…" His hand rested over and gripped his stomach, but his eyes did not close. They stayed on Shadow, restless. "I'll never forget you, Shadow."

_The moment that I was born _

_Was the moment I cried… _

_And every second I love _

_Is a second a die _

"W-what are you talking about? You sound like a eulogy." Shadow reached out a gloved hand, feeling more and more powerless every second, as if this Sonic before him were made of sand, and he was just going to become part of the wind.

_Every second I live _

_Is a second a die _

Sonic straightened his neck and looked head-on at Shadow. He took a few heavy steps forward. "The less you know, the less it will hurt you. I love you, I can't have you affected by this."

_You think your last mistake's done?_

Shadow watched as Sonic laid his head down on his shoulder. The dark hedgehog wrapped one arm around Sonic, as if to hold him there, as if to absorb him into himself, so that Sonic wouldn't ever have to leave him again. Not ever. "Affected? By what?" _Though I'm afraid to ask, I must know._

_You don't want to retry. _

_You're not the only one,_

The tears came, then, and Sonic looked up at him. "Knuckles found the knife."

Shadow's eyes widened.

Sonic tore himself away from Shadow's side. "He cut me up good. I nearly bled to death. I tried not to relive it, but I couldn't help it. I can still hear the slashing of it, the thudding of my heart as my blood flowed…" He backed up, looking sick. Finally, he fell to his knees, vomiting and crying. Shadow saw the knife marks, still fresh, on his neck underneath his quills, and down his back. When Sonic had stood again and raised an arm to scrub the tears from his eyes like a small child, Shadow could see the knife's wounds on the underside of his armsand down his sides.

_Look, we all have to fight _

"You poor thing…" Shadow mused, reaching out a powerless hand again. He felt like he was reaching out to Maria from the pod, as he dashed away to safety while she was preyed upon by those filthy, bloody human _dogs_…Sonic was speaking. Shadow listened.

_Every second I live _

_Is a second a die _

"He's…he's going to take me to his house on Angel Island." Sonic murmured, his voice nearly a whisper. "I'm afraid to know what he'll do to me."

"_No_." Shadow said firmly.

_I won't watch you fall _

"No?" Sonic looked at Shadow curiously. "What do you mean, 'no'? You can't stop him." He said this with a certainty that was hard to put a name to. It was either love or fear.

"No, you're right. I can't stop him from taking you to Angel Island." Shadow conceded.

"Then it's settled then. I'll be seeing ya."

"Wait, Sonic!" Shadow sped over to where Sonic was, grabbing his wrist. Gently but firmly he turned the cobalt hedgehog back around to face him. The dark hedgehog was angry with Sonic for being so nonchalant back there. That was uncalled for. But, he kept his voice soft. "Take this." He clamped a communicator onto Sonic's wrist, covering it with the folds of Sonic's gloves. "If he tries to kill you or hurt you severely again, press the red button. I'll come and rescue you."

Sonic nodded, looking serenely into Shadow's eyes. Into the eyes of the one he had always loved. Shadow released his arm.

"Go. Before Knuckles realizes you're gone."

Sonic nodded once. "Thanks, Shadow." Then, he leaned forward, touching Shadow's lips. Then, he whispered: "_My_ Shadow." And disappeared into the city.

Shadow touched his lips, and then went home. When he got into work today, he was going to prepare a restraining order on Knuckles.

_*FLASHBACK*_

After being beaten, Sonic ran. He had waited as patiently as he could, nursing the knife wounds, until Knuckles was sound asleep. It had taken longer than usual this night for Knuckles to be driven into slumber by his alcohol. But Sonic was thankful anyway.

He ran.

He ran as far as his tired legs would carry him, all the way into the countryside. Past the old, overturned school bus on the side of the road, and further on still, into the abandoned town.

The town had always been abandoned, as far as Sonic could remember. But he was looking for the house most recent in upkeep.

He found it.

The old one-floor, with the flat roof and the dying tree and the rope swing attached to this tree. Sonic walked up the hill of a lawn and slid into the old, worn wooden seat of the swing. It creaked in greeting when he sat upon it, using his legs to gently propel him backwards and forwards.

He thought of days with Tails, when he and the fox had resided here when they weren't adventuring. He remembered showing knuckles this same house, when the threesome went kissing and giggling into the grasses and down the hill. Back when it wasn't so hard to love someone, when none of them knew what love was. He had shared a passionate kiss with Tails on more than one occasion, and had given the kid his first boner. That was back before Tails knew what a girl was. After Tails got done seeing his first girl, he never let Sonic kiss him again.

Knuckles didn't like the kissing game, but he went with it when all three of them played. Sonic sighed in remembrance, lost in his memories. And then Amy, with her misguided crush on him, and Tails, with his misguided crush on her…and then Cream and then Shadow and then Earth and then Cosmo and then space…

Sonic's head did a 180. His malnourished brain couldn't handle the rush of memories he was getting from this swing. He saw something, a memory that wasn't real. It was surrounded by the green of chaos.

He and Shadow, both about eight. Shadow was pushing him on the swing. He was laughing, shouting and whooping into the air: "Higher! _Higher_!"

"As you wish," giggled nonexistent young Shadow. He stopped the swing with a swift tug.

"_Hey_!" Young Sonic pouted, his bottom lip wet and protruding. "That wasn't 'higher'."

Young Shadow chuckled, and leaned forward, capturing young Sonic's lips in a passionate kiss. "I know," young Shadow insisted through the kiss. "You _did _say 'higher', did you not?"

Young Sonic blushed until his muzzle was all pink. "_Eeee_heehee, yes, Shads, I _did_ say higher."

Then, young Shadow hugged young Sonic around the neck and began to kiss and suck at young Sonic's neck. Young Sonic moaned with pleasure and spread his legs wide apart as young Shadow, using his hover boots, floated around to hook his legs over young Sonic's. Then, they were kissing again, certainly higher than any swing could take either one.

Sonic caught himself with a boner. He blushed, and decided it was time to meet up with Shadow.

The false memory would never be true. But Sonic hoped that maybe sometime in the future, it could be made to happen.


	18. Colors of Teal and Gray

**Colors of Teal and Gray**

Shadow prepared the restraining order by arguing the case and evidence. And then he waited for the rest to fall into place. Seasons came and went like insanely long days. Cream's school ended for the summer, and seemed to begin again the next day. The seasons were torturous for anyone who knew Sonic, and even for those who barely knew him, it was a struggle. Cream was starting her last school year, she had finished the fall term, and there was no word of or from Sonic. This made Shadow, and everyone really, ill at ease.

Up on Angel Island, the seasons seemed to never change, as if the entire island was trapped in eternal summer. At first, Knuckles was persistently mean to Sonic. He kept the hedgehog locked in a closet for at least a month, and refused him any food and very little water. When Sonic was allowed to crawl out, he was blinded by the light and his eyes burned.

Knuckles then went into a kinder phase. He began to fix Sonic elaborate meals and cool drinks infused with vital calories. Sonic eagerly drank the drinks down, his favorite being a sugary pink lemonade mixed with light tequila. But, he could not eat the elaborate dishes Knuckles cooked for him, because his throat was still recovering from being scarred by the respirator he had used in the hospital. However, when he tried on various occasions to explain this to Knuckles, the echidna went vividly insane, calling Sonic ungrateful and often attempting to shove food down Sonic's throat, more often than not unsuccessfully.

But, because of the calories in the drinks Knuckles gave him, Sonic got stronger. His fur repaired itself and became thicker and brighter. His eyes gained back some of their beautiful sheen, and his nose had never looked a more elegant black. But, he suffered from hate of himself, for making Knuckles angry, and for causing the scars.

_It's hard for me to love myself right now_

Knuckles' wants were very strange. He had odd desires.

One afternoon, during a kinder phase, Sonic was sitting on the couch, watching tv. Knuckles had been outside with the Chaotix, so for the moment, Sonic was alone.

Suddenly, Knuckles stomped in the door and walked into the bedroom. Sonic stiffened, but thought little of it. Then, Knuckles returned with a girl's summer dress. It was simple, with thin straps like those of a camisole and it was tapered around the waist in Grecian fashion. "Do you think this dress is pretty, Sonic?" The dress was of light cotton, very beautiful and to the ankles.

Sonic looked at it. "Yes, I suppose. Why do you own a dress?"

"I found it at the shrine one day. Maybe it was Tikal's." He smiled.

Sonic feared that smile almost more than he feared water. "Why do you keep it?"

"I thought to give it to Rouge," Knuckles went on, almost as though he meant to answer the question, but in his own time. "But her breasts were too big." Knuckles was gay, so a woman's breasts didn't bother him. Sonic swallowed.

"Would you like to see Amy in this dress?" Knuckles' grin became slowly sadistic, like it did when he gave Sonic food, or when he tried to shove it down his throat.

"You're better off asking Cream." Sonic responded innocently. He knew Knuckles was teasing him because of Amy's misguided crush on him. But that was when she didn't know Cream, and Sonic had forgiven her. They were so close now…Sonic wanted to hug her, just because she had come to his rescue like he'd came to hers. He would feel safe in those arms, those safe arms. Because Amy was female, and felt no desire for his body. Not like Shadow. And certainly not like Knuckles.

_Break the chain, but no longer can I take the pain_

Knuckles' smile remained. "Won't you try it on for me?"

"Ew!" Sonic recoiled into himself on the couch, his face contorting at the thought of he, Sonic the Hedgehog, in a dress. _Just when I thought all my pride had been drained by him…_ "You're _sick_ if you think I--"

"_**PUT IT ON!**_" Knuckles growled, throwing it at Sonic. "Put it on, or so help me, I'll _rip out that throat_ you complain hurts you, and we'll see _how much it hurts THEN_! **Put it **_**ON**_!" The echidna's voice reached the top of its range, and cracked as if it had burst at the seems.

Sonic jumped up, grabbing the dress. "Yes! Yes of course, my lord, yes." He nodded in obedience and showed all submissive signs as he walked to the bedroom. Tail between his legs, head bent, ears pasted to the back of his head.

Tears ran down his cheeks as he removed the sneakers and socks he was so proud of, revealing his blue, furry feet. Never before had he felt so naked. He wriggled his toes as he stood before the full-length mirror—what did a man need that for, anyway?—and stared at himself for the first time in many days. He had not seen himself these past seasons (what felt to him like only a few months), so his appearance was a surprise.

His skin had receded, though his fur was strong. His upper body was better shaped, the fur hiding his ribs, but the region that should be thicker was conforming to his spine, the fat cells in his body failing to exist. Strange dark areas on his cheeks and below his eyes showed where the skin had faded away beneath the fur.

A sob broke through his careful guard and came up his throat in a rush. What bothered him was not the body Knuckles somehow found sexy.

What caused him to cry were the tears he saw falling from his eyes.

"Aren't you finished putting on that dress _**yet**_?!" Knuckles snarled from right outside the door. Sonic's fingers dove into the bedsheets, looking for the dress.

"Yes, my love! Hold on! I'm, uh, fixing it so it looks nice!" Sonic quickly explained, tears blurring his vision as he worked to slip into the dress.

The summer dress had to be a size eight at its largest, but it was far too big for Sonic. The straps slipped down his shoulders, all the way to his elbows; the left side more than the other. The front, since he had no breasts to hold it up, sagged down to expose his neck and the start of his tan belly fur. Dark spots on his neck and below indicated bruises, and indeed everywhere visible was covered with scars, deep wounds, and raspberries. Sonic's eyes widened. The pure whiteness of the dress made his wounds all the more noticeable. Another sob rose in Sonic's throat again.

At that moment, Knuckles came in. "Oh, _Sonic_!" He gushed, like Tails might say to Cosmo (in that manner), "You look absolutely _stunning_!"

Sonic stood motionless before the mirror as Knuckles wrapped his hands around his thin blue neck. Then, Knuckles began to kiss and suck down Sonic's neck, feeling his biceps, his wrists, his hands, traveling down to the thin waist, and poking up under the ribcage. Sonic flinched upward, so that his head rested against Knuckles' shoulder.

But, being touched was one thing.

Being in a dress…was a whole other form of torture.

_It's hard for me to love your face right now_

_I'm waiting, hating, needing being_

_**LYRICS:**_

Paid in Full by Sonata Artica

_Sorry I've been away so long! I had more…issues…but I'm back and better than ever!!! Hope you like! ^_^_


	19. How Can You See

**How Can You See?**

"That's it! Again! Dance for me, my little puppet! Dance!"

The dress' sleeves were inching downwards, the left sagging ever closer to his wrist. Sonic was bent slightly to the left, his arms posed as if to make a circle. He was barefoot. He had been stripped of his only dignity; his beloved shoes. He longed to complain that his feet hurt, because he had been dancing repetitively all afternoon. The dress, though he'd gotten used to it, was getting quite intolerable. Mostly because Sonic had been stepping on it and tripping.

"Yes, my lord," Sonic found himself replying, before he began the dance again, becoming feminine like the water, spinning, twirling, rising up and coming down again, stepping here and there, using the dress as an elegant scarf, and then he stopped, panting, in the same pose as before.

"That wasn't the same dance," Knuckles observed with scrutiny. "Did you forget all the steps?"

"N-Knuckles, I…" Sonic was at a loss for words. He didn't know what to say.

"Are you _**DEFYING **_me?!" Knuckles growled ferociously, standing swiftly and grabbing Sonic's thin wrist in his huge, mitted fist.

"_No_!" Sonic yelped when Knuckles squeezed the held wrist straight to the muscle and bone. "I, I was only trying to…"

Knuckles jerked Sonic forward towards him, nearly wrenching the hedgehog's arm out in the process. Sonic squeaked and bit his lip till it bled to keep back any complaints. "_Suuurrreee_ you were." His muzzle touched Sonic's in an almost tender manner. The contact would've been romantic, except for the constant stream of pain shooting up Sonic's arm. Blue could've sworn he heard the bones in his wrist cracking under pressure. "Now, do as I say! Go make dinner!"

"Y-yes!" Sonic swallowed, trembling. Knuckles watched the saliva traveling down Sonic's throat. There was no fat to prevent Knuckles from seeing this. Cobalt was sweating in his nervousness.

Knuckles let him go, but not before kissing him roughly. Sonic was not enjoying the kiss. Though naturally submissive (though the word "dependent" would better suit the context) in relationships, he hated being "handled," as fitting for the true embodiment of the wind. That, and Knuckles began to grope. Sonic felt the hands roaming his vulnerable body, and when Knuckles would reach up into his ribs, trying to touch his neck, this was quite painful. It nearly made Sonic vomit, but it held it back.

Sonic was also not enjoying the kiss because, he realized, Knuckles tasted terrible. The dry taste of three-day-old grapes abounded in his mouth, and Sonic hated that taste. He liked how Shadow tasted: warm and soft and calming, like a delicately aged red wine.

Knuckles let Sonic go, pushing his chest towards the kitchen. Sonic stumbled to regain balance without stepping on the dress. "Dinner! Steak! **Now**!"

Sonic nodded submissively and stumbled into the kitchen. The balls of his feet hurt from dancing, and he swore he could feel new bruises forming from Knuckles' rough treatment. When it came to injuries, Sonic was far from sensitive. Being a successful Freedom Fighter had taught him that. But, in times like this, when his body had absolutely no fuel to go on, his skin was as sensitive as a child's. It was his curse. _Especially_ now.

Sonic took out the frozen steak from the refrigerator and preheated the oven. He was going to let the raw meat defrost. Cobalt took a paper cup from the side of the sink and filled it to the brim. The dress was beginning to piss him off, the feel of the fabric strange against his skin. He downed the water in the cup, feeling the liquid pass down his throat in gulps. He closed his eyes, realizing he'd never felt this thirsty before in all his life.

By chance, he turned to stare at the steak in its package. Even the bloody, pink meat looked like food to him, and he leaned back into the counter, licking his lips and pressing a hand over what was left of his stomach. "Mmmm," he murmured. "Protein." His stomach whined like a broken machine, and he whimpered.

"Hey!" Knuckles shouted, a thud on the couch indicating he was relaxing. "Don't mumble under your breath! What did you say?!" It sounded so casual, but Sonic knew better than to let his guard down. Even at home, he couldn't feel safe.

No…this wasn't home. The abuse, the shouting, the pain, the overwhelming hunger…this was not the dictionary definition of home. _Maybe I'll look that up…_ Sonic thought.

"Nothing!" He shouted casually. "Just mumbling about the recipe!"

"Mmmmplith." Knuckles grumbled. He'd been waiting for Sonic to admit to the hunger he knew was bothering the blue hero, but unfortunately for the ruby echidna, Sonic knew better than to give Knuckles a reason to beat him up.

With that over with, Sonic turned back to the immediate issue at hand. Fixing this dinner without screwing it up.

Seeing that the steak had defrosted, Sonic used scissors to open the package. He then placed the steak carefully into the oven. Then, he allowed himself to collapse. His body was so physically fatigued that his knees were giving out under his weight, which was made up only of skin, bones, organs, and muscles.

Sonic realized he must've fallen asleep, because what he awoke to was the smell of steak wafting through his nostrils, his stomach churning like a turbulent sea. He felt too hungry to get up. But, at the same time, he knew he had to.

With great force of strength, Sonic pushed himself to his knees, and then to his feet. With great force of will, he opened the oven to check on the steak.

It wasn't quite done. It was still red. And Knuckles liked his meat well-cooked. For a long moment, Sonic couldn't resist staring at it and smelling it. And the more he stood, stared, and smelled, the hungrier he became.

Moving strictly on instinct and impulse, Sonic blindly removed the steak from the oven and turned it off. He used a knife and fork to cut off a small slice and put this into his mouth. The flavor exploded inside his mouth, his taste buds so excited they could feel what they tasted. Sonic was excited, too, and he chewed and swallowed with grace before deciding that he was hungrier still.

Without thought of a reprimand from Knuckles, Sonic quickly cut off and ate bite after bite after bite. By the time he realized what he had done, the fork hit the plate.

And Knuckles was standing in the doorway.

_Home, noun. The place where one lives permanently, esp. as a member of a family or household. 2. A place where something flourishes, is most typically found, or from which it originates._

_Adverb. To the end or conclusion of a race or something difficult. _


	20. The End

**The End**

"_YOU LITTLE __**SHIT**_!" Knuckles roared, his feet heavy on the tiled floor as he stomped forward. "Damn, little **SHIT**!"

Sonic, trembling so much he could barely see the tip of his nose on his face, slowly retreated backwards, feeling with his feet for stable ground behind him while trying to avoid stepping on the dress. "N-Knuckles, it-it was an accident! You have to believe me! I--!"

"_**ENOUGH**_!" Knuckles shouted, his arm reaching out for Sonic's throat. At that exact moment, tough, by some grace, Sonic stepped on the dress and fell to the floor, out of the way of Knuckles' choking grasp. Knuckles heaved in anger, too blind by these feelings to realize what had happened. "I take you in, I give you food…what happened to your _damn sore throat_, huh? Tell me that!" he tried to kick Sonic in the groin but missed and got his naval. Sonic coughed and spit blood.

The blue hedgehog rolled onto his back, his chest heaving with the pain. He was choking on bloody saliva, and he rolled over onto his side, vomiting blood and steak. "P-please," he whimpered, "it-it was the devil in me, the demon, my dark side. Please, don't hurt me! That wasn't me! It wasn't!" He knew he was lying. What had eaten the steak was one-hundred percent Sonic. A Sonic that was starved half to death. A Sonic that would take any food he could get. A desperate, hungry Sonic. But, he had always been able to talk his way out of trouble. _You'll say anything to placate him, won't you?_ He said to himself. _Yes._ Himself answered. _Yes, I will._

But, it didn't soften Knuckles for more than a second. "_**SHHHIIIITT!**_" Knuckles yelled. "_Piss fuck_, asshole!" And he moved his leg back and sent it forward towards the base of Sonic's spine. Sonic gasped, and then vomited more and more blood. The dress was stained and the room smelled like bile.

Knuckles lifted Sonic by the sleeves of the dress. Sonic felt himself rising, he gasping for air and trying not to vomit anymore. But, he also felt himself slipping out of the dress. He was too skinny. Knuckles had lifted the dress, and Sonic had stayed on the ground. The echidna realized this almost instantly and tossed the dress away. He then yanked Sonic up by his long quills. Sonic whimpered in pain, but was defenseless. His eyes were wide and pained with fear, too weak to run or fight. _So_, he thought, _this is the end_. His fearful green eyes filled with tears of sorrow as he saw his life flashing before his eyes. _Shadow. I never told…_

Knuckles threw Sonic into the screen door. Sonic was seeing nothing but memories, so he was unresponsive. Knuckles lifted him by the quills until he was sitting against the door, shouting as he rammed Sonic's head into the screen, trying to break it. Knuckles felt a million miles away, and so did the pain. Sonic only felt a headache as he cried for want of safety.

It was then that he remembered the panic button.

"And you can take your shoes with you, whore!" Knuckles was saying as he thumped Sonic violently on the head with the buckle side of his running shoes. "Fuck off, piss-head! _**FUCK OFF**_!"

Eventually, the screen door broke under the abuse, and Sonic's near-lifeless body tumbled head over heels down the green hilled lawn. Bright lights and the birds in the trees flashed before Sonic as he rolled, the only thing he could hear being his own heart thudding restlessly in his chest. It told him with its every thump: _I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive_.

Sonic stopped rolling at the base of the hill. He lifted his head weakly, unable to see anything but the world spinning around him. He could hear Knuckles' thundering footsteps behind him, clomping down the hillside. Without seeing, he felt under his glove frantically for the button around his wrist. The band was loose—he'd gotten thinner since he'd last seen Shadow—but the button was still there! _Sweet gods above!_ Sonic thought gleefully as he slapped his hand down hard over the button.

Meanwhile, Knuckles was bearing down on him like a hawk on a field mouse.

_This fire burns_

_Always._

Shadow had been taking a nap at work on an uneventful day when his wrist communicator began to vibrate in desperation. Shadow jumped, looking around in a sleepy daze for the source of the problem. He looked at the communicator and saw that the source was coming from Angel Island, due west. Shadow had only one thought: Sonic.

He raced down three flights of stairs, too impatient for the elevator, and ran past a startled Amy, who was on the phone with a feverish Cream.

He ran towards the mountain ranges, towards Angel Island's position. He wouldn't, he couldn't, let Sonic be beaten anymore.

And he had to be fast. Something told him this was it.

_This fire burns_

_Always._

Sonic fumbled to find his shoes while Knuckles pounced on him like a lion, rolling him from side to side in the grass. Sonic was dodging the echidna's blows blindly, pulling his shoes on over his tired feet and trying desperately to fight back. Knuckles was blinded by rage, his eyes bloodshot.

Up in the house, the phone rang and rang, until the answering machine picked up.

It was Brigit down at the animal hospital, asking for Sonic.

They had put Grey the pitbull to sleep forever.

_Even through the darkest days,_

_This fire burns,_

_Always._

Sonic was on his back, pinned to the ground by Knuckles. The echidna was panting. Sonic saw his chance. He kicked Knuckles in the groin and rolled away. Knuckles recovered because Sonic had missed by a few inches and pawed his way over to where Sonic was, snarling like a rabid animal. He picked Sonic up by the quills and stood, heaving. "No one…" he panted, "no one can save you now! Heheheheh…HAHAHAHA!" and he began to laugh manically like a madman, throwing Sonic ever closer to the edge of Angel Island.

Knuckles had walked over and was about to kick him over the edge when a punch in the back of his head sent him whirling to the left.

"Who _dares…?!_" Knuckles reeled around, looking for his opponent.

Who he found was Shadow the Hedgehog, bent over the injured, skeletal blue hedgehog. Shadow stood up, lifting Sonic gently in his arms, Sonic whispering his name over and over again.

"Shadow, Shadow, thank you, Shadow."

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Shadow the Hedgehog, the 'Ultimate Lifeform.'" Knuckles spat in Shadow's direction. "Who do you think you are? I _own_ him! You don't have the _right--_"

"Oh, I do," Shadow lifted up the restraining order with a free hand. "I have the _authority_ by this document, to take Sonic away from you."

Knuckles snatched the document and looked it over. Slowly, he became more sober. "You're…you're taking him?"

"Yes." Shadow answered flatly. Sonic dug his face into Shadow's fur. "The arrangements are all set up there. Please contact me with a date you are free for court, and we will discuss the matter further. Until then, I have custody of Sonic."

Knuckles crumpled up the paper and turned away, defeated. "Take him," he snapped. "He never loved me anyway."

Sonic struggled to stand in Shadow's arms. "That's not true, Knuckles!" He protested. Knuckles turned around to look at him, and Shadow, surprised, listened in awe. "I loved you once, a long time ago. You were stuck up and fun to tease, and for that alone I loved you. It was for an age-old love I thought I could love you again, but you only turned against me and betrayed me. Maybe it's my own fault, but…" He reached out for Knuckles' cheek. "You can't say that I never loved you." Fleetingly, tiredly, he lifted his muzzle and kissed Knuckles one last time. When he had done this, Shadow sped away, leaving Knuckles standing stunned, looking into the abyss of white clouds below him.

_Always._

_End of Black Moon Phase_

**LYRICS:**

This Fire by Killswitch Engage


	21. Main Moon Phase

**Main Moon Phase**

_A burden I could never bear alone_

_Has been lifted from my shoulders._

_You are my light at the end of the tunnel,_

_You are my only God._


	22. Chapter 20: The Water Trapped Inside

**The Water Trapped Inside**

The snow was falling in sweet, fairytale flakes as shadow touched down with Sonic in tow. He had used his jet boots to lower them down through the atmosphere, and Sonic had passed out from exposure and weakness. The snow crunched under Shadow's rocket boots, as he walked until he could pick up speed and run.

Feeling the wind caress and kiss his face, Sonic regained consciousness. Wind could revive him from a faint better than smelling salts or bed-rest ever could, and he cooed against Shadow's shoulder in a tired, affectionate way. Shadow looked down upon him, his black form outstanding in the pure, white snow. "Sonic," he mused softly, his eyelids lowering. "I'm so glad you're awake."

Sonic still seemed out of it, still halfway asleep. He dreamily smiled, his eyelids very low over his eyes so that just a glance of emerald eyes was seen, and ran a trembling gloved hand down Shadow's chest, resting his limp fingers over Shadow's heart, brushing the fur away to reveal coal gray skin. He giggled softly in the base of his throat, and sifted slightly to make himself more comfortable. Shadow focused on Sonic's movements so that he wouldn't have to acknowledge that the blue hedgehog was nothing but bones, organs, fur, and quills.

"Hmmm…" Sonic's voice was muffled and hoarse and dreamily far off from a heavy sleep, but his words held a wisdom that could only ever be his. "Your heart's stopped beating fast. Teehee, don't be anxious." He smiled cutely, looking at Shadow with eyes so tired, they were glazed over. He swayed a bit, acting drunk in his delusion. "Don't be anxious. This'll all be over soon. You make me jealous," he dug his finger into the center of Shadow's chest, accurately over the nucleus of the heart (which shocked Shadow immensely, and would've frightened him, had Sonic been a trained assassin,) twisting his finger. "You make me jealous when you beat fast." It took Shadow a stunned moment to realize Sonic was speaking to ebony's heart. "I want to feel at home again, too." He pouted cutely for a moment, and Shadow realized that Sonic could never truly feel at home anywhere unless he could run.

And he wouldn't be able to. Not with how weak he was.

Shadow felt bad that sonic could no longer return home, and hoped to help him get there as soon as possible, even if it meant losing him to the wind he so loved.

Sonic was giggling again, this time, he placed his hands over his mouth cheekily. "Heehee, does it please you? I feel so drunk. Does it please you? Heehee, does it please you?"

"Sonic," Shadow finally spoke. It was a commanding but gentle tone. Sonic's eyes met his, intent but dazed. "Sonic, go back to sleep. You're not coherent."

Sonic frowned in thought and tilted his head slightly backward to rest it against Shadow's bicep. His head lolled to the side so that he was looking out into the expanse of snow flying at him like ashes from a conflagration. Then, he smiled, closing his eyes all the way. "We're home," he giggled. "Home at last."

_But no one, _

_No guy that I met before_

_Could make me (make me) _

_Feel so right and secure_

_And have you noticed _

_I lose my focus_

_And the world around me disappears_

Shadow let himself into his house and turned on the lights in the rooms he walked through. The red-painted living room, the sterile, white kitchen, the faded wood hallway, and finally to the bathroom. Sonic, awake again but silent as death, blinked in the sudden light and looked around dully at his new surroundings. When Shadow placed him down upon the toilet seat so he could use his hands, Sonic sat with his legs only slightly apart, his hands folded, his head down, and his eyes glued to his knees. He barely even blinked. He was stiff, except that he shivered. With the fan's dull hum the only background noise, Shadow started up the shower water and the hiss of the water startled sonic, because his ears twitched slightly and he swallowed. Shadow had looked just in time to see a lump travel down the base of Sonic's throat and finally obscured. Shadow removed his inhibitor rings and his gloves, and then went about slowly removing his shoes and socks. He didn't ache; he moved slow so as not to startle Sonic. The hedgehog seemed little more than dead.

Finally, he crossed to Sonic's side and bent down on one knee. "We're going to shower. Is that okay?" He felt the need to ask permission. A wrong step could mean severe mistrust.

Sonic nodded, and turned his head a fraction to the left. His eyes watched the water as Shadow took his gloves off and removed his shoes and socks. His feet and sneakers smelled; he hadn't changed his socks in a long time, it seemed. Shadow pushed past this fact, only pausing to think about it so as not to have time to understand how bad, how skeletal, Sonic looked.

Upon the removal of his shoes, Sonic's head jerked back, and his eyes widened as he saw Shadow with his shoes. He began to breathe heavily in anxiety, begging for an explanation. "It's okay," Shadow reassured him softly. "Look, I'm just going to put them over here, and cover them with a towel—see? To keep them from getting wet." Sonic nodded, his neck bones cracking as he did so. Slowly, he lifted his hands and placed his palms against the vessels in his throat. Shadow thought he heard a soft, muffled sob, but he couldn't be sure.

When Shadow had finished with the formalities and steam was emanating from the glass shower, Shadow went to lift Sonic up again, but not bridal style—he held him like a doll against him—and stepped into the shower with him. Sonic was limp and rigid, trying hard to feel nothing or make any sudden moves. He had no idea what was going through his head. In fact, it felt as if there was nothing there.

But for the contact against Shadow's warm, healthy body.

_My senses come alive,_

_Almost like the puzzle piece _

_I've been trying to find,_

_Falls right into place. _

_You're all that it takes_

Shadow held Sonic up against him, and Sonic stood on his own two feet, leaning heavily against Shadow. All his muscles ached, even the stronger, developed ones in his legs. He felt tired and weak, as if he'd been fighting Eggman while simultaneously traveling the world a billion times over. He was content to relax and give in, and let Shadow take over. Even if Shadow were to touch him in a tender place, (there were bruises, cuts, scrapes, welts, and scars enough to go around on his body at that moment), he wouldn't fight it. He _couldn't_ fight it. He had no strength left.

Besides. He knew he was safe with Shadow. Shadow was not touching him out of lust, but out of love, after all.

Shadow lathered up a shower glove with a sweet-smelling bath gel and began to move it down Sonic's body. He moved his other hand with it to steady the limp body melting at his touch, but was frightened at what he felt.

Bone.

Sonic's ribs stuck out stark against his chest. There was no fat to prevent it, only fur. Only fluffy fur. Shadow, horrified, choked back a sob and continued to wash Sonic's body. Only now could he feel the bumps of Sonic's spine and the exposed hip and leg bones. Even Sonic's feet were nothing but a science lab skeleton's, covered by a thin layer of blue skin and fluffy blue fur. Shadow could back his inner sorrows no longer, and he began to cry bitterly, his tears cold on his cheeks against the steaming hot water.

Sonic, submissive and tired, lifted his weary ears using all the strength in his body (Shadow could actually feel the rest of him go limp as he moved his ears; he was really using every ounce of energy for this) and swiveled his head to look at Shadow. Even in the shower, he could tell his dark hedgehog love was crying.

"Don't despair," he said softly in a voice that was uniquely his own; the most he'd sounded like himself all night. "Don't cry for me, Shadow. I'm not dead yet." He chuckled hoarsely, and shifted slightly, distributing energy weakly, lifting his arm and stroking Shadow's cheek with a limp hand. "You can't cry unless I'm dead, okay? Don't make me feel dead. Don't cry." Shadow looked at him and smiled shakily. "That's good," Sonic answered, returning the small smile with a beam as bright as the sun. "I'm with you, now, so don't cry."

He closed his eyes, then, and lay against Shadow's shoulder, asleep or passed out or a combination of the two.

Shadow finished washing him, dried him off, and placed him in his own bed while he went to sleep upstairs in the guest bedroom.

Sonic did not awake again until morning.

_It all starts making sense_

_And all the questions _

_I've been asking in my head_

_Like are you the one should I really trust_

_How clear it becomes _

_**LYRICS: **_

Kissin U by Miranda Cosgrove


	23. Dawn

**Dawn**

Sonic woke up in a soft, cozy bed. He yawned, stretching his limbs out until the bones cracked. He rubbed his eyes, and tossed the covers off, trying to will away the sleepy feeling in his bones. There was no telling what he'd have to do today; his life was unpredictable.

First thing, Sonic felt for his shoes, until he remembered Shadow had placed them somewhere. Knowing they were safe for now, he arched his back and stretched his long arms forward, grunting at the strain. When these bones had sufficiently cracked, Sonic stood up. At first, he was a little off-balance, and his vision faded into and out of focus for several minutes, and the inside of his ears felt warm. When he felt balanced, his ears pricked. There was a commotion in the kitchen.

"So early…?" Sonic glanced at the sun peeking in through his window. It was early, but not so much. It was only about nine-thirty. Sonic yawned and scratched his sides. "Maybe I'll see what Shadow's up to." Sonic padded into the hallway on blue-furred feet and slowly descended the stairs. He looked like a princess coming to meet her prince, walking with such grace and elegance, though his appearance was far from that of a princess'.

Shadow was greedily spooning cereal into his mouth, eating swiftly. Sonic stood in the doorway, unnoticed, watching him. His side caressed the wall as he stood, arms crossed, one foot tossed over the other with a careless ease. It had been so long since he'd smelled cereal—he was usually out of the house while Knuckles ate breakfast, either working in the garden or someplace else—so, understandably, his brain, enlisting the help of his nose, had to decide what to make of it.

Sonic decided that cereal and milk was _not_ his breakfast of choice. He remembered now the taste of the soggy pieces of cereal as they hit his taste buds, and how slimy they felt when chewed. Another part of him recognized it as food, though, and this made Sonic hungry, though more out of habit than actual need.

Calmly, Sonic pushed himself off the wall and sat nonchalantly in front of Shadow, who was dressed in a business jacket and a stunning red tie. Sonic eyed him with a sly smile, but wiped it off his face when Shadow looked up at him.

"Oh, Sonic!" The dark hedgehog swallowed thickly, clamoring to do six things at once. Sonic giggled behind his hand, amused. "Sorry—I've got to go to a meeting…you can make yourself a fancier breakfast later."

_Breakfast?_ Sonic's mind chewed this word over. _Breakfast? _He associated food with breakfast, but was it food for him? He had memories of eating—and watching the action—long ago and also in immediate memory, but…what was breakfast? He tried not to look confused as Shadow stood, fussing at the counter.

"There isn't anything I can make you now. I'm sorry, but I've got a meeting and if I don't hurry I'll be late, I--"

"Stop." Sonic stood, and, it seemed, at his command, the world stopped. Shadow halted, and the kitchen fell silent. He chuckled. "You're so cute. You don't have to rush around, especially not for me." Shadow had only heard himself called 'cute' and was trying unsuccessfully to hide a blush. "Well, if you've got to work, you've got to work. But…" and Sonic went and stood in close proximity to Shadow, so that their lower bodies were touching. "You can't go before I fix your lapels." As he said this, he straightened out the top of Shadow's jacket and fixed the lapels and the collar. "There." Sonic stepped back, pleased, and Shadow forced his face not to turn into a pout. He missed having Sonic's body close to him, and he wanted it again, even if it was only for three seconds.

Sonic turned to go, and Shadow stepped after him. "Where are you going, Sonic?"

Sonic yawned. "Suddenly, I feel sleepy." He'd thought too much; he needed a rest. "I'm going back to bed."

"Oh." Shadow sighed, not meaning to sound so disappointed. He had thought Sonic would at least give him a kiss. "Well, you're welcome to any food, if you want it." He turned to go away as well.

A hand prevented him. Sonic smiled and leaned forward to kiss him. He left a small peck on Shadow's cheek before speeding away back to the bedroom. Shadow left for work with a massive smile on his face.

When Sonic got up to the bedroom, he felt weak and dizzy. He ended up collapsing on the bed in exhaustion and sleeping for six more hours.


	24. To Be Free

**To Be Free**

After suffering with restless leg syndrome versus his unwillingness to get out of bed, Sonic huffed one last time, rolling over uncomfortably under the covers. His restless legs had won the battle.

Sonic recovered the shoes he'd kicked off at some point (he could sleep with them on, but usually not in a bed), and pulled them on over his bony blue feet. Since it was far too cold and snowy outside to even warrant opening the door, Sonic decided he would explore Shadow's lavish house. He sped from room to room, inspecting the deep chocolate brown hardwood floors, so polished and clean, the soft, calming colors of the hallways, and the soft carpets underfoot.

Sonic smelled the sweet scent of old leather books and skidded to a halt, causing some unintended skid marks to plague the surface of the elegant hardwood flooring. He stood, mouth agape, looking into the room.

It was a study, or library, or both. There was a single window staring at him from across the way, pale curtains that swayed like a ghost obscuring the view outdoors. The carpet was wool, and lavishly decorated with designs in blue and red and dark coal. There were no walls to speak of; bookcases seemed to form the four corners of the room. Sonic breathed deeply, and entered Shadow's study/library.

The walls seemed to push out the smell of old books, and Sonic relished in it. He wondered if Shadow had liked this smell, just as he always had. He stalked the perimeter of the room, his fingers dancing over the multi-colored leather spines.

Most of the books here were about Shadow's job, with titles like: _Windows Into The Mind_ and _A Psychiatrics Journey: The Book Written for Students of the Field_. These seemed to fill up an entire bookshelf, and Sonic grew supremely bored. He nearly stumbled blindly over a stepladder on wheels, like one sees at bookstores. Unendingly curious until it killed him, Sonic cautiously climbed the ladder and moved his way across the higher rows of books.

The more protected books were also more interesting, and many pertained to human history and technological advancement. _Shadow __**would**__ be interested in this…_ Sonic thought, perusing the titles curiously, wondering if there were any picture books lying on these grown-up shelves. While looking for something he had the patience to understand, he found a plan but well-abused folder squeezed between a book about Earth's solar system and an encyclopedia, _S_ edition. The folder was scrawled on in Shadow's flowing script: _Project Sonic_.

"So, I'm a project?" Sonic couldn't help being pissed, and he didn't even have the heart or curiosity to find out what was inside. He sat there staring, the folder resting on his lap, confused and curious and all but settled. Finally, he decided to chance a look inside.

The pages held information on him when he was fifteen, sixteen, seventeen…they held records of therapy sessions and doctorial visits (Sonic rarely went to any formal doctor), but there were no birth records. It was nothing interesting, not anything Sonic wanted to know. The blue hedgehog sighed and was about to discard it when a small square sheet of paper fell out.

Sonic saw it floating down and, without thinking, sped down to grab it and then up again. He turned it over in his hands and sat looking at it.

It was a doodle, most likely belonging to Shadow. It depicted he and Shadow kissing, blue on the bottom. The words "at last" were scrolled above it in Shadow's elegant handwriting.

Sonic felt a warm grin cross his face. He replaced the folder where he'd found it and folded up the doodle, placing it into his sock for safekeeping. Figuring he was finished in this room, he set off on another expedition, exploring Shadow's house.

By whatever force of habit or nature, he was drawn to the simple chessboard kitchen. Sonic felt like a chess piece as he entered the "playing field;" black and white tiles.

The refrigerator stood sentry like the black queen in the nearest corner, jostled between a white wall and a black marble counter, blocking her in. Sonic looked around at the white and black abstract curtains in the window sill, the pretty black cabinets, and the silver table and two wooden chairs, one black and one white. This seemed to be the formal kitchen, used for parties. He'd found Shadow in another kitchen before. Or…maybe the table had just changed? Either way, it was a nice room.

Sonic walked over to the silver table and looked at his distorted reflection in its surface. Deciding to have a bit of fun, he made faces and struck poses at his reflection until he grew tired of it. After that, he walked over to the black marble sink and touched the white faucets. A bowl of assorted fruit sat out to improve the scenery.

Sonic inspected it, sniffing at the fruit doubtfully to see if it was real.

It was.

"Mmmm…" Sonic's stomach rumbled, and in response, his body collapsed onto the tiled floor. "I haven't eaten in so long…I'm _so_ hungry! Ugh!" He curled his knees to his chest, thrusting his head against the white cabinets under the sink. All the black and white was making him unusually dizzy. He felt a slight heat in his temples.

Sonic blinked and did not release it for a long time. He was breathing slightly faster now, because he was anxious and eager. Sonic tried very hard to calm himself, taking deep breaths. He tilted his head curiously to the side and looked at the shiny coal-colored refrigerator. It seemed to call to him.

_Come to me. See what delicious treasures I hold! Come to me! Come see what's inside!_

Sonic groaned and thrust his head forcefully against his knees. What he was about to do felt like a betrayal of his body, but curiosity nagged and pulled at him like the tides in the ocean. Whether it was curiosity or hunger at this point didn't matter to Sonic, anyway. He was just itching to see what was inside.

Sonic grunted as he got up, his bones cracking as he stood, trying to level out his body after the sudden rush of blood from his head to his feet that came with the action. Then, Sonic placed a hand over the cool handle of the ice box and opened up.

A myriad of foods greeted him. Massive chocolate cakes, pies of many flavors, fancy steak dinners, drinks of every imaginable flavor, a massive turkey larger than his head--! Sonic couldn't believe he was actually seeing this. Very tempted to pinch himself, he stared in longing at all of the food within.

By now, his poor tummy was making quite the fuss! He was tired and hungry, and his body seemed to take note of this. Moisture came to the ends of Sonic's lips, and he realized he would begin to drool soon. Embarrassed, Sonic used all of his bodyweight to shut the refrigerator door, rattling the objects inside.

"Whew!" Weak in mind from all that, Sonic hid his eyes with one arm, while hugging his stomach with the other. His innards were crowding each other, rumbling and grinding in protest at what he had done. They scolded him for not listening to their clues, forcing Sonic's stomach to crash and turn and splash and roll like a turbulent sea.

"I don't feel so good…" Sonic whimpered, closing his eyes and biting his lip. He moaned as his stomach ferociously bit his side and retreated from the situation.

Sonic didn't have to walk far to find a good place to lie down. There was a nice soft couch in the next room that Sonic found enjoyable as he fell into it. It was so soft, he could barely feel the form that held it together. It was a very plump couch.

"Owww…" Sonic was hurting badly. His belly was growling and turning inside him like a trapped rabid animal, biting and spitting whenever it could. Sonic almost expected internal bleeding, he was in so much pain! "Get it off, get it off, get it off…" He mumbled weakly, hiding his face. "Make it go away. Make it go _away_!" Suddenly, he choked out a horrid little sob that had probably been waiting to emerge for a while and began to cry stormily into the plush cushions.

_I've arrived at this outermost edge of my life by my own actions. Where I am is thoroughly unacceptable. Therefore, I must stop doing what I've been doing._

-**Alice Koller**


	25. Believe Them to be True

**Believe Them To Be True**

"Sonic? Are you dead? Please wake up."

Sonic came to, but mostly because it wasn't Shadow voice he heard. The voice itself was unfamiliar, so strange and foreign to his ears. He sat up, rubbing his eyes, and did a double-take. "_Bokkun_!?"

It did indeed look identical to the small messenger robot the Doctor had owned years ago. Only, he seemed older (if robots could age) and he was certainly more mature. His once annoying voice had leveled out into the picture of calm.

"Yes."

"What do you want?" Sonic asked warily.

"The Doctor had returned from space last month, but was not well enough to see you. However, he is tired and sick and close to death, and he wishes to speak with you."

"Me?" Sonic wondered. "Why?"

"As if I know. The Doctor keeps most private matters to himself. This unit will now automatically begin to show you the way." Bokkun turned from Sonic and floated off. The blue hedgehog, curious, followed close behind.

After about fifteen minutes or so of running, they came upon a massive tower-like base. It had been repainted a more natural brown, to blend in rather than stand out. As they got closer, Sonic examined the branches, where robotic monkeys and other sorts of animals lurked in the verdure around him.

"Please don't dawdle, Sonic." Bokkun rumbled robotically.

"Some of these monkeys aren't Eggman's."

"Tails had captured a robot monkey and adapted it to spy on the Doctor. For unknown reasons, he did not tell you about this."

"How do you know all this?"

Bokkun smiled weakly. "Some things, the Doctor does tell me. Come."

Sonic shrugged and followed Bokkun inside.

_And I'm sorry so sorry_

_I'm sorry it's like this_

_I'm sorry so sorry_

_I'm sorry we do this_

The Doctor's bedroom was huge and silver and simple. The bedclothes lay around a plump form, lying in the bed. The Doctor had most certainly lost weight, though, in his illness. Sonic could relate to a loss of appetite from illness; he'd suffered that himself. The room seemed almost _too_ simple, for the lavish, haughty Eggman, and Sonic felt strangely sorry for the old, insane genius.

"Announcing Sonic the Hedgehog, to Doctor Eggman." Bokkun prattled off routinely, and then shut the door behind him. Sonic expected a lock to click and this all to be a trick, but neither of those things happened.

"Sonic…" a hollow voice rasped from the bedclothes. "Come closer, boy…please come closer…" there was a hoarse cough. Sonic obeyed, tense but somehow relaxed in the company of his enemy.

"It's been a long time, Eggman."

The doctor chuckled, his eyes closed (not hidden by his trademark glasses, for once) as he faced the ceiling. "Too long a time. Being in space for so long…I never thought I'd be so happy to see color again!" He opened his eyes. He had black pupils, but the white around his eyes was horribly bloodshot. "I'm glad I never took over this blasted little planet. It wouldn't have been so nice without you."

Sonic shuffled, feeling very invasive. "Why did you want me here, Eggman?"

"Sonic," the doctor rolled over in bed, facing him. His body sagged now, his fat fading away as he lay dying. "I'm dying. I'll die soon. And odd though it may seem, I don't want to be the last victory here." He sighed. "You win, Sonic."

Sonic jumped. It was a different tune than the old man usually played. The comment: "I'll get you next time" ran through Sonic's mind whenever he thought of fighting the mad doctor. Eggman never gave up, and neither did Sonic. That's why the game went on. Because neither one forfeited. And now Eggman had.

Sonic must've been quiet for a long time, because Eggman's haunting voice interrupted his thoughts. "You aren't going to thank me? I just told you that you've won."

"Sorry," Sonic blurted out without thinking. Then, he laughed at himself. Had he really just said sorry to his worst enemy? "Thank you, Eggman." Sonic bent at the waist, a small bow of conveyed honor.

"Took you long enough." Eggman grunted, and Sonic smiled. For a moment, the old spark of his nemesis was there. Just for a moment, Sonic saw the Eggman he knew. Not this skeletal shell the great villain seemed to have already left behind.

_And I'm sorry so sorry_

_I'm sorry it's like this_

_I'm sorry so sorry_

_I'm sorry we do this_

"Oh, but have you been sick, too?" The Doctor wondered, staring at Sonic's extremely thin body. "You're so skinny, and you don't look well."

"I don't?" Sonic wondered. He was aware that he was far too skinny, but not that he displayed his ailment.

Eggman gestured and a robot holding a mirror wheeled forth on its single, large tire. Sonic studied his reflection.

His fur was dull and tired, his eyes wet and sad and hungry, and his frame trembled, as if his insides were busy eating him up alive. Sonic coughed in surprise, and the robot dashed away. Sonic studied Eggman steadily as the pudgy human lay dying in bed.

"I…I guess I was pretty sick," Sonic admitted, scratching between his quills which felt heavier than ever. "I'm getting better, but I still feel very ill."

"I'm sorry to have dragged you out, then," Eggman apologized, and Sonic took a double-take, to make sure this was really happening.

It was.

"But," Eggman went on. "I had to see you. Sonic, I'm going to die soon, and I'm sure Tails knows that. This base could potentially be harmful to the environment. After I die, I want it taken down. I will leave orders with the robots here to do as you say. Please use or destroy them as you see fit. Make sure this land isn't damaged by me after I'm gone." He reached out, taking Sonic's hand in his own. It was too warm, and very sweaty.

Slowly, Sonic squeezed the Doctor's hand in return. The old man's eyes lit up. "I promise, I will." Sonic answered sincerely.

"Ah," the Doctor let his hand drop. "I'm so glad. I know that you never break your promises."

Sonic nodded, smiling at the old man. "It's been fun, Eggman."

"Yes. It certainly has." And Eggman closed his eyes. His breathing slowed until it was almost undetectable.

And then, he died.

Sonic checked the old man's pulse, and felt the warmth being drained from his hands. He heard the base groan in sorrow as its master's death began to affect it, the robots beeping and clicking their misguided farewells. How like a robot, to not fully comprehend death!

Sonic heaved the man over onto his back and reverently closed his eyes. He folded the hands over the chest and sighed. His limbs ached from moving Eggman, but he was both happy and sad at the passing of his nemesis. His eyes swelled with tears caused by a myriad of emotions, and he furiously wiped them away.

He turned and left the robots to their funeral. It was time for him to go back home.

Shadow would not excuse him for being late.

_Do you see what I see_

_Why do we live like this_

_Is it because it's true_

_that ignorance is bliss_

…_And I'm sorry so sorry_

_I'm sorry it's like this_

Lyrics:

_They_ by Jem


	26. Aqua

**Aqua**

_Feeling so_

_Underwater_

_Can't get up to breathe._

_It's closing in on me._

_So help me, I'm drowning!_

Shadow let himself into the house and found Sonic in the red living room, with the large brown comfy couch. He was sitting on it, knees curled towards his chest, resting a magazine about track records on his knees. Shadow could see Sonic's bones stretched against the skin underneath the fur. He knew about chronic hunger; the stomach eats the body's tissue and fat. Poor Sonic! He'd probably already eaten—and burned—most of that fat and tissue!

"Unbelievable!" Sonic exclaimed in annoyance. He looked up at Shadow and slapped the magazine with his hand. "Do you know? They don't have me listed here. And I could beat all these people!" He frowned, frustrated. "I should write to the editor, but I'm too lazy." He swung his legs over to touch the chocolate carpet, wriggling his toes inside his well-worn but still spotless shoes.

"If they put you in that magazine, honey, no one else would have dreams about becoming a track star, and where would the fun be in that?" Shadow wondered playfully, smirking at Sonic in a sexy manner as he removed his suit and tie.

"Ha! No fun at all, I guess." Sonic chuckled uneasily and his fingers massaged his temple. In truth, he ached down to the core, not able to really feel much muscle at all. He was so hungry, but not willing to eat, and his belly hurt him, desiring with all its might to growl.

"Hmmm." Shadow adopted a silence as he hung up his jacket on the pegs near the door and left the silk tie to the ground. He removed his shoes a little inside the door and treaded with purpose into the kitchen. Sonic heard him grunting to himself as he opened the refrigerator and fumbled inside.

Cobalt stood and tidied up sub-consciously, settling Shadow's shoes by the door in a nice fashion and hanging the tie up over the coat. Then, he followed Shadow's path to the kitchen.

It was the same kitchen he'd been in his first day here, except that it sported that same silver table he'd seen when he ventured in here earlier. Before Eggman's death. Sonic decided not to tell Shadow. Not yet. Obviously, the dark hedgehog had enough to worry about, without adding the death of a family member to the mix. After all, Shadow and Eggman _were _related in a strange sort of way.

Sonic sat submissively in one of the silver chairs, feeling the cold against his skin. He watched Shadow blindly preparing something—leftovers, possibly, because he was putting it into the microwave—and yawned. During this time, he could attest to being truly physically exhausted. Any tire he'd felt before this time was nothing compared to this he felt now! Too tired to strike up a conversation, Sonic lay his head in his hands on the table and watched Shadow.

The microwave beeped, disturbing the quiet of the room.

"Do you want any?" Shadow asked, not expecting a positive answer. He hadn't seen Sonic eat since arriving here, and was positive Sonic hadn't eaten much beforehand, either.

"Mmmm," Sonic could smell it. Something meaty. He was very hungry, but somehow, the thought of food traveling via his throat to get to his stomach seemed strange. If it was meat, it would be tough to chew, and he was too tired to even attempt _that_! "I dunno. What is it?"

"Duck." Shadow responded.

Sonic made a face. "Ewww!" But, he cringed in pain all the same. His poor aching insides told him beggars couldn't be choosers. Sonic was defying the laws of survival by being picky and, oddly, Sonic liked that just fine. Still and all, to have something on his stomach was tempting, but…no dice.

"Suit yourself." Shadow responded emotionlessly with a shrug. But even through his nonchalant reaction, he was hurt inside. His emotions were welling up, making tears come to the edges of his eyes. Tear ducts that were rarely used. Shadow could be pushed emotionally to the edge in both directions, it seemed! He really did care that Sonic wasn't eating, but at the same time knew he was powerless to help ease this. If he tried to force Sonic to eat, it would most likely result in mistrust. Sonic had to realize on his own that eating would benefit him.

_I hope he learns soon,_ Shadow thought sorrowfully, plopping down in the chair opposite from Sonic. He was too depressed now to eat, though he hadn't had a thing on his stomach all day. For the sake of staying healthy for Sonic (but for Sonic, only), he cut off bite after bite of duck, chewed and swallowed and repeated. All this time, he was staring at his fat knees and crying.

Sonic was watching him. And a part of him was crying, too.

_I pray we'll find your light_

…_And hold it in our hearts_

…_When stars go out each night_

…_When shadows fill our day_

_Lead us to a place_

_Guide us with your grace_

_Give us faith so we'll be safe._

Long after Sonic had traipsed off to bed like a residual ghost going about his business, Shadow got on the telephone and called the only person he could think of calling at a time like this.

"Hello? Amy?"

_Lyrics:_

Poetry at the beginning-me

_The Prayer_ by Josh Grobin


	27. Seeking Help

_Sorry these chapters have been lacking heart! I'm fighting with my best friend right now, so the inspiration I get is lacking :( I hope you can forgive me!_

**Seeking Help**

"_Shadow_?!" Amy's surprised and somewhat embarrassed voice suggested the girls were doing something less than decent.

"Please to the gods tell me Vanilla isn't home."

"She's not. But why do _you_ care?" Amy accused.

Shadow let forth a deep sigh and pulled the skin of his face down with his hand. Something in his gut told him that Amy would be a lot less violent if Sonic had called. Even though they were both gay, they still found comfort in each other's company, and, Shadow thought, Amy found safety in Sonic, because, truthfully, they had a deep sibling relationship. "Sorry—_Never mind that_, anyhow…uhhh, I'm calling because…"

There was some grunting on the other end. They were probably pulling the vibrators out, or something. Shadow didn't want to think about it too hard, anyway. So he quickly finished his sentence before one of them came, or whatever. "Sonic won't eat, and I was wondering if you could help!" He breathed heavily after getting it all out so quickly, and flushed. Had he really just said that?

The phone on the other end seemed dead. There was a noise of someone lifting the phone, and Amy's voice wafted in well-hidden hysteria through the electrical currents straight to Shadow's kitty ears. "Sonic won't eat, you say?"

"Yes. That's right." Shadow was back to business, though the heat of the flush still blessed him.

"A dilemma indeed! Did you try chilidogs?"

"The last time I saw him awake was three days ago, Amy. Not counting this evening."

"Oh. Wait a minute," Amy was obviously behind on the times. "When did you rescue him from Knuckles?"

"About…" Shadow paused to tally up the calculations. "Maybe, like…a week ago? A week and three days? Something along those lines."

"Has he really been asleep all that time?"

"He sleeps sporadically on and off, often for long periods of time."

"Mmm, his body is shutting down. I'm willing to bet his stomach's eating anything it can get at. That's probably why he's so tired. If his arms seem weak, that means the stomach is going to bone marrow, and we don't want that. We can't let it come to that." Amy had her business voice, too. Cream chirped in a concerned voice in the background, but it was inaudible. "It's okay, Cream. Hold on." She said over her shoulder and then turned back to Shadow. "Even if Sonic were to just eat a single meal, that would force his stomach to start living off of food again, and stop attacking his body's systems. The tissue will reconstruct itself, but that will take time. No, the sooner and the more we feed him, the better."

"Feed who?" Cream's voice could be heard quite well now. It seemed she'd cuddled closer to Amy.

"Sonic, darling. Go set up that movie, I'll be right there. Is Sonic asleep now?"

"Yes." Shadow responded.

"Well, all right, then. In two days' time, I'll take off from work and prepare all my best tempters, all for our starving hedgie friend! And I won't tell him you put me up to it. After all, I can be concerned about him, despite my sexual orientation!" Proud and feisty as ever. That Amy Rose!

A great beam crossed Shadow's face. "Thank you! Thanks _so_ much, Amy! I really appreciate this."

"Not a problem. See you in two days!"

"Yeah, see you."

Shadow hung up the receiver and sped down the hallway to where Sonic lay asleep in bed.

The blue hedgehog had been reduced to a rag doll under the covers, his head peeking out just over the top. His eyes were serene, his body straight as a stiff board. Suddenly, his brow furrowed and his back arched up sharply. Out his mouth came a pitiful whine--muffled into the pillow, but still haunting—and Shadow shuddered to hear it. At last, after several heart-wrenching moments, Sonic settled down and curled into himself beneath the covers. Shadow heard Sonic's stomach churning and pinned that as the problem.

Shadow calmly walked over to the bed, and stroked Sonic's exposed side. The blue hedgehog whimpered and shifted slightly, arching in reverse and exposing a tuft of tan fur. Shadow smiled, stroking him some more just on the surface so he wouldn't have to feel skin and bone.

"Soon, my love," Shadow whispered lovingly as Sonic slept. "Soon, you won't be so uncomfortable anymore."

_Though the roads we make and the chances we take,_

_We still can't tell which roads we'll revisit_

_Better fed and whole._


	28. Just Don't Care

**Just Don't Care**

Shadow tiptoed into the room where Sonic lay on his stomach, his face half-hidden in the pillow, asleep but not deeply so. "Hey there, sleepy head," he whispered, crossing the carpeted floor to sit down on the edge of the bed as he buckled his shoes and straightened his tie, using the floor-length mirror, discarded by Rouge and kept by him. "Aren't you ever going to wake up? I think the sun misses shining on your pretty blue fur."

"Pretty? Feh!" Sonic snorted, rolling over again. He swallowed, wincing from the pain. Everything was beginning to hurt. Everything except his stomach, which had stopped feeling hungry a _long_ time ago. "Forget it. I hate late winter. Everything's _slush_."

"Don't say that. It's so pretty." Shadow soothed, tossing a glance at the young hedgehog.

Sonic waved an ungloved tan hand, his quills the only visible part of his head now. "Yeah, yeah. Then _you_ go and enjoy it. _I'm_ going back to bed!" And he hmphed, pulling the covers higher up to cover his neck. He had to swallow down his saliva again, and regretted the move, biting his lip to keep from crying as the pain burned dully in the base of his throat like the flame of a candle.

"I've got work first," Shadow pointed out, standing. Then, he leaned in closer to Sonic's face. Cobalt could feel ebony's heat against his cheek. "Then, I've got a little surprise for you. Can you say…chilidogs?"

"Chilidogs," Sonic grumbled apathetically, feeling nothing—not even a small pang of hunger—from the mention of the word, although the picture definition of it was created warm, slimy, fat, and juicy before his eyes.

"There's my dove of a hedgehog," Shadow beamed, planting a fleeting kiss on Sonic's cheekbone. "I'll be back after work. Your surprise will be here by the time you're done napping."

"Oh?" Sonic rolled his eyes, shifting to get comfortable. "Great, just what I need. Petty fangirls." It hurt his core to feel himself becoming so nasty. Why was he, Sonic the Hedgehog, becoming irritable? Even his thoughts unnerved him, about as evil to him as the Doctor's plans! "Can't wait, then."

Shadow closed the door behind him, humming a tuneless song, and Sonic was alone.

Cobalt began to weep. "I don't _want_ to be mean!" He sobbed. "I don't! I _don't_!"

_Then let me feel you, the rain pouring down your face._

_Let me touch you, with fingers the world's well worn._

_Let me kiss you, with lips that have spoken blasphemy._

_Let me love you, one who has hated up until this time._

_Let me come, and heal your famine._


	29. Treachery Disguised

**Treachery Disguised**

Sonic had been meditating in the silence for quite some time, willing away the illness he felt and attempting to get rid of his apathy. Because this apathy mixed with his legendary attitude, it made him more than a bit nasty. He sat cross-legged in the exact center of the bed, feeling the soft red comforter beneath him, and the stillness in the air around him. His hands were resting on his thighs, palms up. The only reason he could be so still?

Sonic had never been a master of patience, but weakness in his bones allowed him to stay still for hours. Maybe even days, depending on how deep his concentration was.

Someone inserted a key into the lock. Turned it. The door opened. Sonic heard every sound, and his body froze stiff. It could be someone with a skeleton key, or someone who stole the key to the house off Shadow's person. Or even a different kind of thief. Sonic shivered, but more out of excitement than fear. _Finally something interesting!_ He moved like a cat, poised to jump, his spidery legs moving outward, the cracking of his bones deafening in the silence.

Then…laughter.

Sonic's taut muscles relaxed. Amy and Cream. But what were _they_ doing here? Didn't Cream have school or practice, or whatever? And what about Amy's work?

"Sonic? Are you here?" Amy called. "You don't need to be afraid. It's just us."

"Yeah." Cream called. "We came to cook for you."

Sonic's tired mind put two and two together. Oh. _They_ were Shadow's surprise. A shiver of delight and fear shot down his spine like a bolt of lightening. He didn't know which emotion to feel; excitement and eagerness at a possible meal, or fear of a host that cared too much.

Sonic cautiously slipped off the bed and traipsed like a shadow into the kitchen area.

"Sonic?" Amy called lightly to the space behind her, her back turned to unpack her reusable shopping bag. Cream sat at the table, tilting back one of the wooden chairs. A white wire running down from one of her ears connected to her touch screen music player, a gift from her mother. She tapped it, scrolling through her tunes. Her outfit was now a warm pair of sweatpants and a white v-neck sweater. Her boots hit the floor with a thoom!

"Are ya dead or what? C'mon out," Cream finished for her girlfriend, tossing her long ears behind her shoulders.

"I'm not dead," Sonic appeared from the shadows beyond the kitchen, slinking like a black cat on a moonlit path, smiling like an engorged cobra. "And…are you high? I smell smoke." He leaned against the wall closest to the table, crossing his arms over his chest. His body looked to be more skin and bones than a museum filled with dinosaurs, but his eyes were bright and smiling as he smirked mischievously.

"Awww, she's just miffed cause I woke her up to take her home. Study hall." Amy explained.

"Yeah, I'm tired," Cream pouted. "That's it. I'm not high."

"Pot." Sonic said proudly. Cream stuck her tongue out at him while he feigned innocence.

"Stop it, you two. Sonic, Cream curbed that habit long ago, and Cream, you can sleep if you'd like." Amy refereed.

Both parties in question humphed, and Sonic leaned more into the wall, as if wishing his body to mold into it. Cream put her head on her folded arms, hiding her face from the kitchen's warm, golden light.

The blue hedgehog looked closely at Amy. The pink hedgehog was dressed in her traditional attire, except the dress stayed tame by her thighs. Her legs were clothed with red and black tights and the shirt she wore exposed her neck. Sonic spied the dark marks if hickys beneath the pink fur. He smirked.

"So, Sonic," Amy spoke, if only to break the silence. "Did Shadow take you to bed yet?"

"Nope! He's totally kept his distance!" There were parts of Sonic that were just fine with this fact, and other parts of him that longed to perform for Shadow properly. So, Sonic's tone of voice was simultaneously filled with relief and regret.

"Oh." Amy responded. Silence.

"I don't even want to ask about your and Cream's sex life…" Sonic teased from against the wall. Amy threw a rolled up plastic bag at him, and Sonic took the blow with a snort of laughter. Then, he appeared beside her.

"Hmmm, y'know, I expected better of Shadow. Food's not all I need at this point."

"So you recognize that you need to live on more than food—wait…" Amy turned towards him slowly, menacingly. "How did you figure out that _we_ were Shadow's surprise?"

Sonic thumbed over his shoulder at the now half-asleep Cream. "Your loud-mouth girlfriend told me."

Amy rolled her eyes. "So you know we're Shadow's surprise. Do you intend to eat?"

Despite his control of it otherwise, Sonic's head favored one side more than the other. "Depends," he responded, frowning as he looked at what Amy had brought to prepare. There seemed to be very little meat…very little of anything he wanted. Despite that, Sonic's appetite had ran away from him early this morning, as if on cue for today's events.

"Depends on _what_?" Amy demanded.

Sonic straightened up and shrugged doubtfully. "Mmph." His eyes hugged one of the legs on the silvery table, his eyes and stance filled with guilt, as if he'd been caught eating the last cookie in the jar. His hands hugged his biceps, which were merely fur and thinner than usual even under the bushy disguise. The pockets at the base where his neck became his shoulder looked like a scoop made in a of container ice cream. They were deep grooves. Amy could spy where his ribs met the rest of him, as there was a jagged incline from the end of the ribs to where fat should be guarding the internal organs. Amy shuddered.

She knew what starvation was like. She'd seen other starving before. Starvation was not supposed to look like this. Sonic's stomach should be distended from eating muscle and fat tissue…maybe even bone marrow. But, Sonic was skinny as anything. She couldn't even detect a single stomach growl!

She touched his elbow lightly, to get him back on track. He focused on her, but she retracted her touch.

Underneath the fur was bone. Pure cartilage. She could even feel, from that brief touch, the bone had been worn away. So, his body _was_ eating bone marrow! She wanted to cry, but that would effect her duties. She had a job to do, after all.

"Are you okay, Sonic?" She pleaded. He wobbled unsteadily on his feet.

"Yeah." Sonic smiled weakly, but he was staring at her with the eyes she had misguidedly fallen for. Eyes that still entranced her, sexual orientation or no. He put a hand gently over her cheek, and with the other bopped her on the nose. She stumbled backwards, laughing in surprise, holding her hands against her muzzle.

"OW!" She squeaked, laughing hysterically.

Cream lifted her head groggily. "Shaddup," she hissed before plopping back down into her little cave.

But this only made Sonic and Amy laugh harder.


	30. Helpless

**Helpless**

After chatting with the girls for a while, Sonic stood up and stretched. "Well," he announced, stretching with a yawn, "I'm gonna go see what's on TV."

"You do that, Sonic." Amy responded. "This chicken will be done in no time." She smiled warmly at him.

Sonic looked away, crossing his arms over his chest. He'd been watching Amy make the chicken--a dry bird. Sonic didn't like chicken, and a part of him complained, wishing for chilidogs. Most of him, however, just didn't want to eat at all. He just…wasn't very hungry. Despite the fact that his survival was important, he felt betrayed needing food.

His stomach was hollow. He could feel it, like a wind blowing inside him. Thinking about it only made him dizzy. But…food? Now? He shivered, remembering other times he had eaten without Knuckles' expressed permission. Beatings, air blown into his stomach, vomit. He couldn't go through that again, not as weak as he was. The more he dispelled, the more strength he would lose. No, he had to preserve what he had, until Knuckles sobered up and gave him permission to eat.

Amy and Cream noted Sonic's silence. It was the rabbit this time who expressed her innocent concern. "Sonic?"

The blue hedgehog was drawn out of his pointless musings by that voice. Somehow, he was transported to the past…he could hear Cream's six year old voice in his ears. He was surprised to see that Cream was much older now, but the shock didn't show on his face. His emerald eyes were unreadable, unfocused. Slowly, he answered her. "Yeah?" His lips upturned in a shaky, fake smile.

"Are you okay?" This was Amy, her hands clasped at her waist in worry, her eyes quivering from fear and sadness. Everyone who knew Sonic understood that when Sonic seemed wrong, the whole world could implode at any minute.

Sonic remembered the sickly face of his adversary, lying in bed as he died. He longed for Eggman to once again be the only trouble in his life. Sonic felt like he was slipping away into dreamland; he needed to rest for a while. Something told him sleep was now his only option. Before Knuckles came home to frighten him again.

"I'll be fine," he answered after a moment's pause. "I just need to get some sleep, s'all."

Amy smiled, but hers seemed fake, too. Sonic could sense it. And that made him worry. When Amy knew something was wrong with Sonic, she, too, became sick with the same emotions he felt.

And he did not want her feeling the paranoia he felt right now.

He forced a sincere smile for her. "Honest, Amy. I promise, I'll be okay. You watch that chicken," he flashed a thumbs-up and winked, but behind his lips, closed into a smile, and behind the eyes that sparked, there were tears and sobs waiting. And he felt so exhausted, just from lifting his arm.

But Amy saw none of this. She smiled a sincere smile back. "Will do!" She told him in classic Amy fashion. "You go take a long nap, mister! We'll watch the house for ya!" She winked at him. Sonic chuckled.

"Don't let anything burn." He warned her teasingly, flashing a cocky smile before disappearing in a flash of blue light.

As the wind whipped around them, Amy and Cream looked at each other with worry.

"Should he be using his speed so much while he's so weak?" Cream asked, forsaking her music player for the moment as she concentrated on her girlfriend. Amy could only sigh in response as she placed the chicken in the oven.

"He wants to run. Let him. If we were foolish enough to prevent him, he would die a lot faster."

"How?" Cream asked.

Amy froze, and then turned to face the rabbit, leaning heavily against the counter as she did so. "Cream, running is what makes him feel free. If he's kept in one place for too long, or if he's told to stop running or is otherwise prevented, an invisible vice begins to close around his throat. If he doesn't relax and his worry and desperation grows, it makes it harder and harder for him to breathe." She sighed. "You may not remember, for you were young at the time. But when we were back on Earth, when we went on that cruise? And Sonic went stir-crazy?"

Cream giggled. "Yeah! I remember! That was so funny! Sonic went _insane_!"

Amy smiled mournfully. "After I scolded him and he had fainted and we carried him off to bed, I went to see him without anyone else there. I found him unconsciously clawing at his throat, as if something was there. He was grunting with the struggle, and to this day I am so thankful his nails were never long enough to hurt him seriously!" She choked back a sob. "Those scars have probably long healed, but…" She sniffled, and Cream came over to comfort her.

"Aww, Ames," Cream soothed. "I had no idea." She kissed Amy's cheek, and then kissed her chin and her neck.

"It was awful," Amy responded, unwillingly seduced by Cream's kissing. "But that's why we can't ever just lock him up to keep him from burning calories he needs to live."

"Mmmhmm," Cream mumbled, already unbuttoning Amy's dress.

"_A wasted life, he thought."_

_-__Saturn__ by Ben Bova_

Meanwhile, Sonic had crawled back into bed. He was asleep long before his head hit the pillow.

After wasting a few moments in the darkness of sleep, Sonic found himself pulled into a dream.

_He was standing before the suggestion of a window that seemed to encase him on all sides, of purple and blue stars rushing towards the oblivion before him, poked air-holes in a sea of black. Behind him, he heard what sounded like boots on the floor of a steal spaceship. But he was not alarmed by these footsteps; they were footsteps he knew well._

_He turned around slowly, and got the feeling he was moving in water. Suddenly, his fur was rising and swirling about him, and his quills weaved around his neck and touched his back, as of he were suspended under water. Yes, the feeling of water was around him, but there was no water to be seen for miles. And he could breathe perfectly._

_The person walking was a fat man dressed in a red suit with black tight pants and boots with silver buckles. He had a handlebar moustache and a red beak for a nose. His eyes were obscured by tiny, rounded, dark glasses, which he removed to clean with a gloved hand. But his eyes stayed closed, so Sonic could not see their true nature._

_He heard himself say: "Greetings, Eggman."_

_The evil doctor he had known in life replaced his glasses on his face. Suddenly, the same face became older and wrinkled. The moustache became speckled with gray hairs and the fat had eroded away in some places and sagged in others. He was sweating so much that it seemed to be melting him. He looked ill and old, yet he did not crumble or pant, or show any weakness at all. "Hello, Sonic." He said, in the voice Sonic had always heard from his lips their first encounter. "It's nice to see you again."_

_Behind Eggman, Sonic could see an endless void of black. Robot parts appeared, floating in midair, and then winked out of sight periodically, around the doctor's figure and in the mass of void behind him._

"_Why are you here?" Sonic asked._

"_I came to warn you," replied the overweight human simply, his voice holding no malice. His tone seemed faintly tired, as if his strength was being drained away slowly by something or someone._

"_Warn me?" Sonic asked._

_The doctor stepped forward, his knees shaking as he walked. "I beg of you, Sonic! Please listen to me!" His voice was pleading, almost crying. Probably a tone he had used to trick Knuckles at times. Only it seemed eternally sincere this time around. The fat man fell to his knees, inches from Sonic. Eggman placed his hands on Sonic's shoulders weakly, as if trying to make him bend down. But Sonic was as immobile as a tree, planted to the spot. "I don't want you to die, Sonic!" The old man was pleading. "You're between the living and the dead, standing on the precipice, every time you close your eyes to sleep! I see you standing there! One day, your body's unconquerable strength will fail you, and will plummet into death! Do you know you will be missed?" The doctor's body seemed to be sinking into quicksand, his skin wasting away from his face and arms. His hands beneath the gloves became skeletal. "Don't you have any sense at all?" His eye sockets were little more than empty holes now, and as his glasses fell away, his body became a skeleton and it disappeared into the floor._

_Sonic turned around and saw the full-length mirror that was back in Shadow's bedroom. It showed himself, only much, much worse than he thought he looked. _

_Skin everywhere was stretched tight against his bones, his fur so dull it barely had enough strength to grow anymore. His eyes were popping out of his skull and his arms lay lifeless by his side, useless sleeves. His legs were trembling, and his feet ached to stand on. _

_Sonic screamed in fright and began to sob. The same oblivion that had surrounded Eggman began to surround him, too, and this only made him cry harder. When his voice was hoarse and he could cry no longer, he opened his eyes to see that the creature in the mirror had stepped out, and was walking towards him._

"_Wake up," it hissed in a voice so hoarse and lifeless it seemed other-worldly. "Wake up, wake up, wake uhhhppppp…"_

Sonic awoke with a cry of fright, sitting up in bed so rapidly he felt dizzy afterward. He felt at his face and his shoulders and down his neck. He could feel the bone there, but it was nowhere near as bad as the dream him had been. Relaxed but still unsettled, he pulled his knees to his chest and reached for the clicker.

Maybe some mindless television would help him get his mind off of that horrible dream.

Somewhere, though, in the back of his mind, Eggman was still pleading with him: _"Don't you have any sense at all?" _


	31. No Sense At All

**No Sense At All**

Shadow smelled burning as he walked up to his house. He unlocked the door and opened it. What he saw angered him.

Whitish-gray smoke had settled around the interior of the home, coming from the oven. Cream and Amy were more than half-naked, wrapped around each other in ecstasy, kissing and pulling at each other. Sonic, barely visible through the choking smoke, sat listlessly in the hallway, his eyes as smoky as the house itself.

Shadow felt his temper boiling over so much; he could take it no longer. Feeling heated with anger, he shouted: "_**GET OUT!**_" He yelled, using every ounce of strength to keep from kicking the girls doing something he didn't want to think about on the floor. "_**GET OUT, GET OUT, **__**GET OUT**_! Whores, bitches, sluts! _GET OUT__** NOW**_!"

The girls got off each other and sat up, collecting their clothing sheepishly, Shadow yelling every profanity he could think of at them. Sonic watched, his face like a doll's, his head lolling to one side, unexpressive. He breathed in the thick smoke, coughed and choked, and exhaled before repeating the process. He moaned, his arms lifting to cover his ears, as if trying to will the evil out of Shadow.

His body was trembling. He was afraid. Every ounce of him was shaking, even down to his toes and the tips of his fingers. Even his teeth were shaking in his jaw! He hadn't been so afraid, not since Knuckles, and it was hurting him, making him ache with the pain and strength it took to tremble. He began to crawl away like a beaten puppy, whimpering.

But Shadow knew nothing of this. "You _gay __**BASTARDS**_! Get _out_! Get _**OUT**_ I say! Be gone, you _**BIMBOS**_!"

"S-sorry," Amy sputtered. "S-Shadow, w-we d-didn't--!"

"_**OUT!**_" Shadow roared. Cream took her girlfriend's hand and let her out. Shadow turned off the stove and spent a few minutes trying to cool his temper. He paced a little, his hand faithfully on his head, drinking a glass of cool ice water.

Finally, he felt composed enough to walk into the living room again. There were no stains on the floor, which Shadow was glad of, but it still smelled like girl. Shadow wrinkled his nose in revulsion. He started to walk over to where Sonic was.

"I'm sorry you had to—Sonic?" Shadow noted Sonic was not in the hallway anymore. He followed Sonic's scent to the bedroom.

"Sonic!"

Sonic had been lying flat on the bed, but before Shadow's eyes had time to register that, Sonic was half-standing on the bed. He moved like a spider, trembling all over, his eyes alit with fear and caution. But a mist seemed to grow over them, a mist of uncaring disinterest. He perched himself up on the pillow, gripping the headboard for support, resting what little weight he had on his thighs. His shoes, long ago washed clean by Shadow, were not very dirty; not more than a little dusty. Shadow thought he spied a piece of folded paper peeking out of one of Sonic's socks.

The dark hedgehog sat down on the bed and the room's scent became tinted with fear at once. Shadow sat calmly, his whole body relaxed, his hands clasped, forcing a space between his knees.

"I shouldn't have gotten angry. I'm sorry."

"Sorry," Sonic repeated in a flat, emotionless voice. His eyes were watching Shadow's thumbs crossing over each other like a pair of mating snakes.

"But, they didn't do their job!" Shadow bit his lip and closed his eyes.

"Didn't…" Came Sonic's voice from a thousand miles away. Shadow kept his eyes squeezed shut; very afraid he was going to cry.

"I just wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to get better. But this didn't help you. Not at all."

"Help…"

"I just—Sonic, I can't look at you when you're like this. Of all the suffering I've seen, the death I've had to watch…"

"Suffering. Death." Sonic repeated, his lips curling into a frown, his eyes more intelligent. He was fully aware that Shadow was crying. A crueler part of him snapped: "_and so he should! He scared the living daylights out of me!_" But Sonic was far too kind, far too worn out, far too armored, to listen to that evil, sadistic part of him.

"Sonic," Shadow turned towards Sonic suddenly, making cobalt jump back, bruising the majority of his body against the headboard, forcing him to wince. Shadow was advancing, slowly, his red eyes filled with tears, focused on Sonic, who was trying to hold back a whimper. He was in pain. Pain was moving up and down his spine and sending painful thumping's to his brain. He knew his body was bruising, just from that single hit. "Sonic, you—what you're going through—this is the worst I've ever seen you. This is the worst I've seen _anyone_! I--" He stopped, because Sonic had placed his hand over his mouth.

"No more, Shadow." Sonic said. He sounded so weak, so tired, as he attempted to push Shadow away a little so he could sit up. There was very little resistance in Shadow's body, but when ebony's muscles fell limp to Sonic's touch, blue still had a hard time pushing him away. The bones in his arms cracked and his chest heaved with the effort.

Shadow sat back, noting Sonic was rubbing his sides and back, wincing with the pain, one eye closed awkwardly. Shadow had heard the bump against the headboard, but had no idea it did so much. Sonic hissed out in pain. "Ow," he muttered simply before looking at Shadow. "All the same, I thank you, Shadow." His voice still seemed exhausted. "Their companionship is worth a thousand meals—or words." He smiled, his eyes shining. But his eyes were the only alive thing about him. The rest of him seemed dead tired. That's why Shadow was surprised when Sonic heaved himself to his feet.

"Well, I know you haven't eaten yet. What's wrong with you, Shadow?" Sonic's voice seemed to gain more vigor as he walked, albeit unsteadily, into the kitchen. "Let's air this place out and get some dinner in you."

Shadow cringed and put a hand over his stomach. It was true; he _was_ starving. Because of department meetings, he didn't have time for lunch today. His stomach growled with ferocity, and he bit his lips against the hunger. But, he felt so bad, eating in front of Sonic.

"Coming, Shads?" Sonic asked lightly, as the sound of a window opening filled the silent house. "Let's get some tunes! It sounds like a graveyard in here!" There was the scratching of a radio, and then the hurried clicking and buzzing of Sonic switching channels. A catchy rock tune filled the house. "Yeah! Now _that's_ more like it!" Sonic hummed along with the tune.

Shadow sped into the kitchen and watched Sonic, swaying with the beat of the song as he took the burnt chicken out of the oven, sniffing at it possibly subconsciously. Shadow thought the image of a facepalm. Duh! Sonic's body must know it's starving! It _must_ be calculating the chicken's smell! Shadow's stomach rumbled. _As is mine_, he thought, flushing with embarrassment.

"You know, a lot can be salvaged!" Sonic noted cheerfully, grinning hugely. "You'll have a good dinner tonight, Shadzy!" His tongue crossed his lips once, and for a minute, Shadow saw Sonic's body fall half-limp. His ears wilted like dying flowers, his eyes closed, and his legs trembled. But, that only seemed to last half a second, before Sonic came back to life. "All right! This is my favorite line in the song!" He hummed, singing jovially. Shadow sat in a chair, stunned. How? How could Sonic be so carefree, when he looked so ill? It surprised and stunned Shadow, muting him for the time being.

"And you, you took me away, faster than the speed of sound! Faster than the speed of light, we flew!" Sonic sang out, his voice perfectly on pitch with the tune of the singer's voice. Shadow felt so awed. A part of him was amused. _No wonder Sonic loves that line._

"And that was DeeKay two point oh with their latest hit, _Away to the Wind_. We'll return shortly with more of your favorite tunes here on Speed Hit Central." The radio cackled before some generic ads rushed in.

"This station!" Sonic sighed, chuckling. "The best music, the worst commercials." He was referring to a tampon ad that was currently playing over the radio.

"Oh? I wouldn't know." Shadow traced a groove in the table absently.

"Don't be a sour lemon, Shads!" Sonic teased, banging his hands on the table as he got into Shadow's face. His eyes were bright and alive, his smile wide with glee. "I'm almost done saving your dinner! Relax and enjoy the tunes!" He looked back at the radio, which was mumbling a commercial about car insurance. "Errr…when the tunes return, that is." He shrugged, closing his eyes as his smile grew wider, before he turned back to fixing the chicken. It appeared he was seasoning it, since he had sliced away the burnt outer shell. "Hmph! Jamie would eat this. I miss her." He seemed forlorn a moment, lost in thought. The radio started playing another song that was a little softer in tune. The guitar was so beautiful that Shadow felt tears come to his eyes from hearing it.

Who was Jamie? Shadow wondered. It certainly couldn't be a female—Sonic was flaming gay. Yet…it had to be a girl. Sonic had said "her." "Who's Jamie?" Shadow asked, not meaning to sound so insulted.

"Oh!" Sonic smiled, turning. "That's right, I don't think I ever told you." He rubbed a fist on his chest. "Jamie is my miniature poodle. Well…she's not mine." He amended. "Not yet. Her current home is the shelter run by my friend Brigit." He sighed. "I haven't been able to get out to see her." His smile was mournful this time.

Shadow looked down at his hands for a moment. Then… "I've got an idea!" He exclaimed. "Let's go get her!"

Sonic's eyes lit up. "R-really?" He was so happy, his tail began to wag.

"Sure. We'll call the shelter, and—WOOF!" Shadow couldn't finish because Sonic was strangling him in a hug.

"Oh, _Shadow_!" Sonic cried. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou_thankyou_!" He nuzzled Shadow's tuft of white fur on his chest and purred deep in his throat, his rodent tail wagging happily.

Shadow embraced Sonic slowly. "Of course, Sonic." He said. "Anything to make you happy."

"…_I was just as determined to play this game until the last bitter moment."_

_- __Venus_ _by Ben Bova_


	32. Too Good to be True

**Too Good to be True**

The snow was quickly becoming slush on the ground, but it was still bitter cold. Shadow insisted on bundling Sonic up before they went outside. Of course, Sonic protested.

"_Shadoww_," he complained as the dark hedgehog offered him a wool coat that extended past his knees and a red scarf to go along with it. "All I need is earmuffs! It's not that cold!" Shadow put a pair of earmuffs over his own ears, placing a scarf around his neck. Then, he addressed Sonic.

"You need to keep warm, if you insist on starving yourself."

"I AM _NOT_!" Sonic protested loudly, throwing the clothes down on the couch.

"Put those on," Shadow commanded, "or we won't go to get Jamie."

Sonic watched Shadow's eyes become dark and evil in a second. He shivered. That gaze was making him colder than the weather outside surely would! Nodding and wilting his ears in submission, Sonic slowly slipped into the coat, buttoning it up. Shadow, more relaxed now, went to help Sonic with the scarf.

"I got it, Shads," Sonic said curtly, his voice thick with distrust. Shadow drew back.

"I'm sorry, Sonic. I just…"

"It's fine," Sonic snapped bitterly. "Let's go. I want to see Jamie."

_Don't think about eating her,_ Shadow thought.

When they got to the shelter, Brigit greeted them warmly. Or, at least, she greeted Sonic warmly.

"Hello!" Brigit beamed. She was an armadillo, purple and black and yellow. Her eyes were bright, and seemed to light up the land, ugly in the wake of melting snow. "Sonic, it's so great to see you!" She hugged him.

Sonic returned the hug. "It's nice to see you, too, Brigit."

Shadow grew aflame with jealousy. Sonic had never given him such signs of affection! What had this girl done to warrant such special physical affection? Shadow found his own answer.

Oh. Girl.

Sonic was gay, so he was not afraid of affection from women. Even choking, stifling affection. He probably wasn't even afraid of their anger. The reason? Sonic had been abused by another male. A male who was his boyfriend. A male that had been living with him. Shadow shivered, hoping his unintended anger earlier hadn't destroyed Sonic's faith in him.

During Shadow's musings, Sonic and Brigit were talking.

"How's Mai doing? And Kite?" Sonic asked eagerly.

"I got a call from Cosmo yesterday, actually!" Brigit grinned. "Mai is recovering nicely from her injury. Do you know? Cosmo told me she intends to adopt both Mai and Kite, as soon as Mai gets better!"

Sonic beamed. "That's wonderful, Brigit! I was worried about those two being separated."

"They'd die without each other, I know." Brigit nodded. "That's why I turned most adopters who wouldn't take them both down." She looked away a moment. "Well, isn't it cold out here? Come inside, come inside! Who do you have with you? A potential adopter?"

Shadow snapped out of his trance when he saw Sonic walking inside after the armadillo. It was warm inside the shelter, but comfortably so. Sonic was already removing his clothes. The fluffiness of his fur hid his suffering a little too well, Shadow thought. "No," Sonic was saying. "Well…not exactly. We're adopting together."

"_Ahhh_," Brigit giggled. "Then this is your new beau?"

Sonic laughed. It was the happiest Shadow had seen him since…well…since the adventure in space all those long years ago! "Yes, this is my boy."

"Pleasure to meet you, Mister…?"

"Shadow. Shadow the hedgehog." Shadow took her outstretched hand.

"He's very anti-social," Sonic whispered loud enough for Shadow to hear. Then, in a louder voice, he questioned: "Where's Jamie?"

"Ah, she's in the back. But she's made a new friend she can't go without."

"Who?" Sonic asked. "Another dog?"

"A cat!" Brigit laughed.

Shadow and Sonic looked at each other. "A cat." Shadow mused. "Well, I've always wanted a cat. Maria always liked…"

"That's good, then!" Sonic interrupted. "We'll take Jamie, and her little friend, too! Which cat is it?"

"Not one you'd know," Brigit responded. "He's a new addition—just came to us last week. His name's Jack."

"Jack and Jamie." Sonic smiled. "Cute. Did he come with the name?"

"No, we named him because those two names fit together so well! Those two are inseparable, and were from the first moment!"

Sonic was beaming, so that his face might explode any moment from it, but Shadow was calculating and suspicious. It seemed almost _too_ ironic, too good to be true.

And then, Shadow woke up.


	33. Jack and Jamie

**Jack and Jamie**

_This is actually kinda fluffy…a break from all the drama. Have fun, guys!_

Shadow woke up in his own bed to find Jack, the black and white cat, sitting on his chest, twitching his white-tipped tail. "Morning, Jack," Shadow yawned with a smile, reaching to scratch the cat between his ears. Jack purred and closed his emerald eyes. They reminded Shadow a lot of Sonic's own eyes, really.

"Good morning, Shadow!" Came a familiar voice from the doorway. "My, aren't you a late riser this morning? Don't you have to go to work?"

Shadow smiled. "Nah, I can go to work whenever I want. I've hardly got any patients." He looked at the calendar on his alarm clock.

It had been a week since the adoption of Jamie and Jack. Since then, Jamie had gotten a puppy cut, courtesy of Brigit and the rest of the shelter staff. Now, Jamie looked more like a poodle; her wolf-like snout was prominent on her face. The white markings on her feet, eyebrows, and belly showed prominently, too, while her smoky-colored ears looked like pigtails on her head.

Speaking of the brown-eyed pup, she was happily cradled in Sonic's arms. Shadow lifted his eyes to look upon his boyfriend's face.

"C'mon!" Sonic exclaimed, beaming. "Flapjacks!"

Shadow chuckled and slipped out of bed, sticking his feet into his shoes. It wasn't uncommon nowadays for Sonic to be excited about food—he had gained some weight back. And Shadow was glad to see it.

Sonic was downstairs in the kitchen, filling the dog's and cat's bowls with food and water. He set them down, and Jack and Jamie went straight to work. Sonic then flipped a flapjack skillfully onto a tower five flapjacks high.

"Is that for me?" Shadow wondered, ravenous. He didn't feel so bad for eating anymore, but knew Sonic deserved higher portions. Which sometimes left his stomach feeling empty at mealtimes. But then, how had Sonic felt?

"Nope! Sorry," Sonic chuckled, whistling a little. "That pile's for me." He took one of the flapjacks from the pile, flipped another one onto a separate plate, and handed Shadow a shortstack. "_These_ are yours. That okay?" He didn't stay to listen, but went right back to fixing more pancakes, humming. There was an assortment of fruits and syrups on the table to choose from, and Shadow settled for some ordinary maple syrup and some blueberry preservatives. Then, he cut his pancakes down the middle and preceded to cut off bits in this way.

Sonic sat down across from him, now with five flapjacks piled high. He licked his lips, his eyes wet and bright with hunger. His stomach growled loudly, for the first time in a long time. The blue hedgehog covered his stomach with his hand and laughed. "Man!" He chuckled, amused. "I'm actually starving! Whew! Whoa, so dizzy…" he swayed a little, giggling drunkenly. Shadow reached a hand out in concern, but Sonic waved him off. "It's all right, Shads. I'm cool, I'm cool. Just a bit hungry." As if in answer to all this, he poured half the syrup container onto his pancakes, topping it with strawberries and whipped cream galore.

Shadow chuckled in the base of his throat. "Starving you are, indeed! And I'd imagine so after all you went through!"

Sonic didn't stop, not once. Even eating, his speed was evident. Or, was it merely his hunger that had made the flapjacks disappear in the blink of an eye? Sonic relaxed, his arm hanging over the back of the chair, sighing a contented sigh. He was really beginning to look much better. His fur was bluer, his form was slightly less skinny—though admittedly it wasn't plumper by too much—and everything about him seemed more alive. Although he did grow tired much more easily now. Sonic yawned, leaning back to stare at the ceiling. "I melted!" He exclaimed, laughing. "I'm tired! I couldn't move another muscle if my life depended on it!"

"I bet you could," Shadow pointed out, "you just don't want to. Your body is planting itself because it wants to digest what you've eaten. Which, in the condition you're in, shouldn't take long at all." He caught Sonic staring sleepily at him and a beam pressed itself against his lips. He kissed Sonic's cheek, without making or forcing any other contact. He found Sonic tolerated (and even enjoyed) small kisses from time to time. "Now, I've got to go. Take care of these two while I'm at work."

Sonic winked, tossing a classic thumbs-up. "No prob! But you owe me a chocolate ice cream."

Shadow laughed as he headed out the door. "Done and done! I'll see you later, eh?"

Sonic waved him off. Shadow closed the door and heard Sonic talking to Jamie.

"Where's your tug toy, huh? Where's your dolly? Let's go! C'mon! You too, Jack! Where's your bell ball?" That Sonic could talk in such a cutesy voice and still be...well…kick-butt totally awesome, too-cool-for-you, laid back Sonic the Hedgehog still amazed Shadow, although he had seen this paternal side of Sonic for an entire week.

Shadow was amazed he was also gaining affection for the emerald-eyed cream-tipped cat, as well as that salt-n-pepper of a darling dog. He could've sworn Jamie was getting an attitude from hanging around her blue-furred owner too much! Jamie was sometimes uselessly fussy.

As Shadow skated off to work, Sonic lay on the floor, playing with the pouncing kitten and the hyper jumping puppy. They were using him as a jungle gym, climbing up and down his bony sides and hiding between the cracks in his legs and weaseling their way under his arms. He laughed, pulling Jack and Jamie close and kissing their cheeks as they pawed and yipped and played with him right back. He was having fun. Genuine, carefree, fun.

And not a Knuckles in sight to stop it.


	34. First Binge

**First Binge**

Shadow came home late and unlocked the door. He was tired and hungry, and not really very happy. The board meetings had gone horribly today, and it seemed his supervisors were about ready to close down the therapist's office nobody here needed. Shadow was depressed, but moreso for Amy and the other young interns, who needed the money. Shadow, who was already rich because of his creator, had only decided to work there out of boredom, and to earn a little extra cash. And, of course, for Sonic, when he'd needed it. Now that Sonic no longer was his patient, Shadow felt no connection to the old place.

As he got in and took off his shoes, he noticed Jack asleep on the couch and Jamie taking a nap on her black watch plaid bed Sonic had bought for her. Jamie looked up when he came in and barked in greeting while Jack opened a sleepy green eye, yawned, and went back to sleep. Jamie bounced over to him and started licking his feet.

"Hey, stop!" Shadow giggled. "That tickles!" He lifted Jamie into his arms, but the excited little pup decided instead that his face was a more prime target for her licker. "Hey, hey!" Shadow laughed, catching himself with a mouthful of puppy tongue on more than one occasion. "Stop that, James! I'm glad to see you, too! Where's Sonic?"

Jamie barked happily at the mention of her master and squirmed to be put down. Then, she ran over to her favorite squeaky bunny and climbed back onto her bed to chew it. Shadow, unable to wipe the smile from her exuberant greeting off his face, wiped the remainders of puppy saliva from around his mouth and out of habit went to the kitchen to rustle up some grub. He wasn't starving, so to speak, but he could definitely do with some dinner.

But, when he opened the refrigerator, there was nothing but milk, soda, a few condiments, and a fair bit of cat and dog food. Shadow scratched his head, certain he'd gone grocery shopping two days ago. Where _was_ everything? Curious and now a little paranoid, he opened the freezer, with similar results. The pantry, and even the cookie jar, were mostly empty, except for a few crumbs and coffee grounds in a metal tin. Shadow humphed, removing the coffee ground container from its place and began the boring task of making coffee. In the middle of the fourth scoop, he was slapped by an epiphany.

Duh! Sonic!

Shadow listened, and indeed he could hear the buzz of a television program, and Sonic's faint laughter joining the laugh track on the telly. He followed the source and burst into the room.

Sonic was looking so…healthy! Certainly much improved from what he had been, now he actually looked like he had skin! And fat! His body was still long and very lean yet—he could stand to gain a few more pounds before totally improving his look—but his eyes were bright as stars, and just as lively. His fur was a brilliant cobalt, and brightened up the red bedspread he was reclining on. He didn't look all that skeletal anymore, though there was still a bit of shadow on his cheeks and around the areas where fat cells were starved. He was shoving m&ms—possibly the only remaining food in the house—into his mouth from a popcorn bowl, his body shivering all over, probably digesting at superfast speeds the calories he'd taken in today. As he laughed again at something on the tv, Shadow marveled at how healed he'd become.

"Sonic!"

"Oh, hey, Shadow!" Sonic greeted nonchalantly, looking his way and tossing a hand in greeting. "C'mon and sit!" He was shaking like mad, so even his teeth rattled a little in his head, making some words come out funny when he spoke. "Have some m&ms! Er…sorry they're the only food in the house…" He blushed and flattened his ears a while, embarrassed as Shadow sat calmly beside him.

"No need to apologize, Sonic. I'll simply order in." He glanced up at the television. "_What_ are you watching?"

"Oh, it's some kiddie program." Sonic laughed. "Kiddie sitcoms are much better than adult ones. This one's about a trio of kids with their own webshow."

"I see…" Shadow was mainly watching Sonic, who was devouring the m&ms at an alarming rate despite his constant shivering. "Are you cold, Sonic?"

Sonic giggled, and a shiver of delight ran down Shadow's spine. "No, no, but as far as I understand it…my body's a calorie powerhouse! Such a long time without any fuel…my body's makin up for lost time. At least, that's how Tails puts it."

"You've talked to _Tails_?" _That infant genius gets more attention than __**me**__?_

"Ha! No, this has happened before, albeit last time wasn't so serious as this, but…" Sonic shrugged. "Hey, whatever." He pointed at the television. "Watch this part, Shads. The girl there, Caty, she's about to pour guacamole on Norman, that sniveling little guy there. Heehee." Sonic was utterly content to watch…well…children's programming! Shadow had to chuckle.

"I suppose that is rather funny."

"He deserved it," Sonic nodded with sincerity, as if he'd been personally involved with dousing the character of "Norman" with a bowl of guacamole.

_I wonder how badly you want to dump a bowl of guacamole on Knuckles?_

How badly, if at all, did Sonic want to get back at Knuckles for all that he'd done? Shadow wondered for a moment, and then dismissed it.

If Sonic had ever had a resentful, vengeful bone in his body, it was eaten up by his recent starvation.

Well, it looked as if that part of his life was at an end. Shadow settled down beside Sonic, watching as, slowly, Sonic's fatigue began to pull him under. His body was preoccupied with retaining some of those calories he'd just eaten, obviously, and Shadow couldn't blame it. Sonic deserved a good, long rest.

As Sonic fell asleep, still trembling and shivering a bit, Shadow decided he could forego one night's dinner and resolved to get some rest himself. Tomorrow, he would go shopping and grab all the foods Sonic wanted. After all, now that Sonic was eating, it was imperative he eat more—for the sake of his continued health.

Shadow went to bed, imagining how healthy Sonic would look after a batch of five hundred—no, five _thousand_—chilidogs. How pretty his fur would be then!

_Heaven today is but a way_

_To a place I once called home_

_Heart of a child, one final sigh_

_As another love goes cold_

Long after Shadow had gone to sleep, Sonic sat up in bed, feeling very ill. He ran to the bathroom in the hallway and flicked on the lights. He collapsed weakly next to the toilet, groaning at the hurt and queasiness in his stomach. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he finally released pounds and pounds of bile, nearly returning his body to its skeletal, unhealthy state. He closed his eyes against the tears as he vomited, thinking about how happy he'd made Shadow…and, inevitably, how happy eating had made _him_.

The comfort of it, all that warm food, flowing down his throat like a gallant river, finally hitting his empty stomach…what a rush it'd given him! What shivers of delight had spread from his taste buds to the rest of his body! How well it had responded earlier to such treatment! So many delicious, filling calories.

And now, he felt like he was going backwards in time.

But he couldn't stop. He couldn't stop vomiting. The food had been too much for him to handle after all. It was a horrid thing he was doing, but…

But he couldn't stop. It wasn't within his power.

Sonic had lost the game. This time, his own body had been victorious, working relentlessly against him in malevolence.

It was over before it had begun.

_For the heart I'll never have_

_For the child forever gone_

_The music flows because it longs_

_For the heart I once had_

_**LYRICS**_

_For The Heart I Once Had-Nightwish_

_OH GAWD DID YOU MISS MEH? :P_

_This is also my birthday gift to SonicPwnsAll, because I forgot to mention it at the top. Hey there, buddy! :3_

_It's sort of a sad bit of drama going on here…poor Sonic was set up for success and, unfortunately, was beaten. :'( Ah well. Maybe it made you all shed a tear. _

_Anyway, yes, I am back. I'll be paying special attention to this story, as well as Harinezumi Kaito. If you haven't read Mukashi or Kaito, DO IT NAOW! These two stories will keep you satisfied until I update one or the other. Have a good time guys!_


	35. What To Do

**What To Do**

"Refeeding syndrome," Tails' serious medical doctor voice emanated throughout the room.

Shadow stole a glance at Sonic, talking to Cosmo in the kitchen. He was sitting on a chair, looking very small, his body swallowed up by an old zipper sweatsirt, his form belittled by the massive German Sheppard, Mai, who happened to be sitting beside him. Still, he talked and laughed with Cosmo…about what, Shadow couldn't hope to fathom.

"Shadow, are you listening to me?" Tails waved a gloved hand before Shadow's ruby eyes. "Hello? Anyone home in there? Yoo hoo!"

"Yeah, I heard you," Shadow grunted, pushing Tails' hand away impatiently. "Is that even a real disease?"

"It's a real ailment, yes. Chronic hunger patients suffer from it. Of course, the body cannot be so rapidly re-introduced to something as substantial as food."

"Why the devil not?" Shadow roared.

Tails was looking at Sonic also. "To be honest, I'm not exactly sure. The only thing I am sure about is that Sonic's bone structure is weak."

"And, besides the obvious, that means…?"

"It means Sonic could very easily break a bone by, stubbing his toe, say, or by banging his hand by accident. Common things we do all the time that smart for a bit but don't hurt us long-term."

"You're saying Sonic's even _weaker_ than he was before?"

"Well…as far as his bones, yes. Sonic should be very careful. In fact, he should be confined to his bed and not be allowed to move much, except in an emergency."

"He'll never agree to that."

"He'll be forced to, I'm afraid. Sonic will be very weak. His form will soon be unable to support him, if this keeps up. Look, he's trembling."

"So? He's probably cold!" Shadow shivered a bit himself. Tails' house was like the arctic!

"No…that's his body devouring any calories it can get. And right now, that means bone marrow."

"So what can _I_ do?" Shadow begged meekly. He hadn't felt this defenseless since he'd been forced to leave Maria behind on the Arc-! Which he'd already decided was not going to happen again…figuratively speaking.

"He'll need calcium supplements—you can pick them up at a local drug store. And milk. Make sure he drinks lots of milk."

"Will he be able to stomach that?"

Tails frowned thoughtfully. "Well…the milk will curdle in his stomach after about a week or so. The calcium will be put to good use by then—only the fat and cream will be left. So, when his body tries to digest that, obviously it's going to come right up." The young fox sighed heavily, stroking his tails grimly. "But, other than that, he should recover."

Shadow sighed. "There isn't a way to stop him from throwing up, I guess?"

"There's nothing we can do at this point." Tails admitted.

Shadow became cross, feeling tears come to his eyes. Stubbornly, he turned away to stare at the wall. "Tails? You had to shoot Cosmo…right?"

Tails shuddered. "Right. She saved us all from Dark Oak."

"How did it feel…shooting her, I mean?" Shadow bit his lip against the sobs. "Did it…did it feel helpless? Alone? Like…like you were destroying the only good thing in your life?"

"Yes." Tails replied mournfully.

Shadow turned to look at him. Tears sparkled at the base of his blood red eyes, waiting to fall onto his deep tan—almost orange—cheeks. "How…how did you do it, Tails?"

Tails placed his hands on his hips and glanced up into the ceiling. After a moment of silence, he closed his eyes. "I dunno." He admitted. "I guess I just told myself that it was for the best, and that I'd see her again some day."

"And that day came, when you found the seed pod."

"Yes. The day came sooner that I could've hoped for."

"Maybe…" Shadow stared at his boyfriend, laughing and hugging Mai's thick neck. "Maybe I'll see Sonic again some day. The way I want to see him—not this shadow he's become."

Tails smiled. "Sonic is still Sonic, Shadow. You're just distracted by his outer appearance."

But Shadow wasn't listening. He was thinking about hw Sonic had looked, how cute it'd been to see him chowing down on m&ms.

Yes. The day would come when he would see Sonic eat again.

And it would come soon.

_O.o Shadow's getting a little testy! What will happen next? Tune in next time for more drama and pain from the lovely…Torn in Two! :3_


	36. Please Do ThisFor Me

**Please Do This…For Me?**

_Well I was moving at the speed of sound._

_Head-spinning, couldn't find my way around, and_

_Didn't know that I was going down._

_Yeah, yeah._

_Where I've been, well it's all a blur._

_What I was looking for, I'm not sure._

_Too late and didn't see it coming._

_Yeah, yeah._

"Please…for me?"

"No!"

"Arrgh, Sonic!"

The two hedgehogs faced off in a glare of bitter rivalry that echoed days long past. Feelings of lesser resentment and the thirst for challenge burst in eyes of ruby red and emerald green. It didn't matter that all two hundred pounds of a wooden table was between them. Were it not for love from one and weakness from the other, they would've been at each other's throats.

Shadow crossed his arms over his chest, scowling. "I won't look at you, until you take it."

"Fine, then. See how long you can last." Sonic sounded utterly confident as Shadow turned to profile, closing his eyes. There was a moment of pause, during which Shadow drummed his fingers on his elbow. Then, he turned to face Sonic again in a flash of black, only to find a confident, knowing smirk on the younger hedgie's face.

"Sonic," Shadow was gentle—or, trying very hard to be, through his anger—now, his eyes soft and loving. Sonic was enchanted for a moment, but a part of him was still guarded. "You…you _need_ this, Sonic. It isn't just me who insists you take this. Tails says it will help…you've told me how much you hurt." Sonic frowned and looked away. "This will take care of that."

"I don't need any stupid medicine," Sonic muttered. "Never did, never will."

"Sonic, you once called nine-one-one for yourself." Shadow pointed out, making Sonic grimace. "Surely they gave you painkillers."

"I was passed out," Sonic corrected bitterly. "I dunno what they did to me."

"Regardless."

Sonic was stubborn, and it was obvious he was going to remain stubborn. Shadow hmphed and bit his lower lip. This was going to be tough. He had to outsmart a trickster—a king of loopholes. Ah ha! A loophole! Shadow grinned hugely.

"Don't think of it as medicine, though." He suggested, smirk still in full force. "It isn't, really. It's actually a vitamin."

Sonic stared with cold malice at the twin white pills lying side by side next to a cup of filmy tap water. Then, he chanced a glance up at his victorious boyfriend. Victorious, because Sonic resigned. He sighed in defeat and placed one pill on his tongue, raising the glass to his lips.

Sonic swallowed the calcium supplement. Now he selected the second pill. This one was actually a mild painkiller, but Shadow hoped Sonic wouldn't notice. The blue hedgehog swallowed it down, took a breath, and gulped down the remaining water in the glass. He set it down with a thud and sat at the table, shivering a little. His green eyes locked with Shadow's ruby ones. There was some contempt…but it was mostly thanks in those eyes. Shadow smiled.

"There now," he soothed as Sonic rose to hug him slowly, "that wasn't so bad, was it?"

Sonic embraced his double, resting his head in Shadow's inky black shoulder, staring into space and thinking about things. He was smart. He knew Shadow had given him a mild painkiller, and it was already helping him. He found it so odd that his pride was more important than his own physical wellbeing. He smiled to himself, wondering how Shadow had ever undermined his pride in the first place.

Since when did pleasing Shadow—pleasing his boyfriend—ever come before his pride? His, well…Sonic-ness! Besides his years with Knuckles. Sonic shivered in fear. Even just thinking the name almost made him pee himself with fright. Luckily, he was in control of his bladder, now.

"No," he mused, "not hard at all. About as easy as one, two, gulp."

"One, two, gulp?" Shadow quoted, giggling as he pulled his boyfriend away to look at him. Sonic nodded, flushing as Shadow kissed his forehead. "My love, that's rather silly. What do you mean by that?"

"One, two…" Sonic made a motion like he was moving a glass to his lips, "gulp!" He grinned, amused that Shadow still seemed to have a vague understanding. It took a minute for ebony to fully comprehend.

"Oh!" Shadow laughed, which, inevitably, made Sonic laugh, too. "I gotchya. You're too funny, m'love."

Sonic stroked Shadow's pure white chest. "And _you_, my love, are too slow. If you can't even catch my drift, then…"

"Ha ha," Shadow rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help smiling a little. Even Sonic's playful insults were welcome in a house filled with sleep, silence, and sickness. "What am I gonna do with you?"

"Watch a movie with me, maybe?" Sonic gingerly took Shadow's hand and led him to the living room. "Since you're insisting that my moving stays minimum, I took the liberty of subscribing to Metflix." He held up a red envelope, obviously containing a DVD. "Shall we watch Doppelganger? It's a movie about a bunch of kick-ass blue aliens…"

Shadow smirked. "Oh, you mean like you?"

Sonic pushed him. "Yeah! No. C'mon." And he pulled him to the DVD player, set up the video, and quickly pressed play.

Needless to say, the two cuddled at home that night, with Shadow wondering how long it would take Sonic to figure out the second pill was a painkiller, and with Sonic wondering how long it would take Shadow to realize that he knew.

_If I had my way_

_I'd never get over you_

_Today's the day_

_I pray that we make it through_

_Make it through the fall_

_Make it through it all._

_LYRIX_

_Crashed by Daughtry_

_Fall to Pieces by Avril Lavigne_


	37. Spinning, Spinning, Spinning Down

**Spinning, Spinning, Spinning Down**

A week passed before Shadow was aroused from his sleep by a noise disturbing to his eardrums. In the darkness, he looked, bleary-eyed, at the clock.

3:30 AM.

"Okay, seriously," Shadow muttered, too tired to even stop and think how many early days—earlier than this—Sonic had had as a hero, saving the day when there was no 9-5, 24-7, 365 days a year work schedule. "Whatever it is, can't it wait?" He grumbled, mostly to himself, slipping into his bathrobe. The days were becoming warmer, but only slightly. Spring was creeping up on them, but it was taking its sweet-ass time. Jack the cat raised his head, green eyes slicing the darkness, wondering why his mater was disturbed. The cat stretched, and leapt off the bed to follow Shadow.

The black hedgehog heard a meow at the bathroom door, so that when he came out, he almost tripped over the black and white kitty. "Ugh, Jack," Shadow yawned, "you scared the shit outta me."

"Meow," Jack said, cleaning his paw.

"C'mon, you," Shadow lifted the black cat into his arms and held him as he walked down the hall, "let's see what's up, hmm?" Of course, however, when he identified the sound—and where it was coming from, he had to physically stop himself from dropping Jack.

Tears. From Sonic's room.

"Oh, gods," Shadow hastily put Jack down and jogged into Sonic's bedroom across the hall. Of course, they were both sleeping in upstairs guest bedrooms, now that Sonic could walk a little easier, but where they were in relation to each other was not all that important, when it came right down to it.

"Sonic!" Shadow burst into the room.

Sonic was sitting up on the bed, surrounded by a sea of pinkish-red blankets. He was holding Jamie as tight as he could in his arms, sobbing uncontrollably. Jamie was whimpering and looking very pitiful, licking his salty tears from his tan cheeks. Shadow quickly crossed to the bedside, proving some comfort with his strong, black hand. "Sonic, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Sonic sniffled, and reluctantly let Jamie down so he could scrub a fist across his eyes. "I'm fine," but his voice trembled, showing that he obviously was not. Shadow sat on the bed, but Sonic kicked him—whether it was on purpose or by accident—so he got back up again. Sonic tried to calm himself, and made it halfway. His voice was still trembling when he spoke again.

"Shadow, there's something important I need to tell you."

"What is it, my love?" Shadow asked gently, watching Jamie curl up beside him on the bed. Sonic stroked her absently.

"It's…it's about Eggman." Sonic's teary, red eyes met Shadow's bleary red ones. "Shadow, he's…he's dead."

"Really?" Shadow didn't see how this was all too important. He supposed he should feel sad, since technically Eggman was family to him. But no one mattered to him, he cared about no other, besides Sonic. However, because Sonic was saddened at the madman's passing, this made Shadow care a bit more than he would normally. "If you don't mind my casualness—so? It's about time the planet was free."

Sonic sniffled. "That's not all. Shadow, Eggman left me in charge, to make sure his base—his machines—didn't have any effect on the environment after he was gone. Shadow, he entrusted that matter to _me_. Shadow, I…I _promised him_ that I would take care of it." A sob rose in his chest again, and he dove into the pillows to cry. "And—and I've been selfish and lazy! And—and I _should_—I should be out there! Helping them! Helping the robots clean up after him! Like I promised! Like I promised!" And his tears filled Shadow's ears again, making the dark hedgehog feel deaf.

There was nothing worse than Sonic the Hedgehog—who detested tears with a passion—crying. It sounded like a political incorrectness—as if the world should cave in on itself-just because of it. The sound, though it was really rather muted and quiet, seemed deafening.

Shadow sat beside Sonic again, slowly rubbing a calming circle into his bony back, trying not to feel his spine and ribcage as he moved. "Shh, shh," he soothed, "Sonic, it isn't your fault. You haven't done anything worthy of reproach. Now, shh…shhh. All will be well. Shh, shhh."

Sonic sniffled, and then slowly calmed down, lying flat on his pillows and sighing with fatigue. Jamie exhaled, as if to say: _Well, that solves that!_

Shadow continued to rub a circle in Sonic's back while Sonic's breathing calmed and evened out. There was silence in the room as Jack leapt up on the bed and went to rest beside Jamie, who greeted him with a tired lick. The two pets curled up together. There was another long silence, before Sonic's stomach gurgled.

Shadow shivered. He didn't like to deal with Sonic's suffering, but the blue hedgehog did little more than blink in recognition. He knew he was starving beyond reason, and that his stomach could not growl because there was nothing to make it growl, and he also knew that if he filled it, the food would come right back up again. He exhaled, much like Jamie did, in resignation and acceptance.

But Shadow was not enthused. Nor did he accept Sonic's current state of suffering.

"Want some tea?" Shadow asked quietly. "I can make it for you, if you'd like."

"Tea would be good," Sonic agreed. "I'm freezing!"

Shadow smiled and tucked Sonic in. Then, he went out into the hallway. There was creaking on the bed, and then Sonic was right behind him, zippering up the faded black sweatshirt. Shadow sighed. "Go back to bed, Sonic. You're not well."

"No way," Sonic smirked, his white teeth glinting like a vampire's in the darkness. "I'm coming, like it or not."

"At least let me steady you," Shadow fussed, holding out his arm stiffly. Sonic let out a puff of air, but conceded. The two marched down the stairs like a pair of three-legged racers.

"What sort of tea will you make?" Sonic asked after a moment of thoughtful silence.

Shadow shrugged. "Dunno. I suppose whatever we have. I still haven't gone grocery shopping after your…binge." Sonic shivered a little at this, but recovered quickly.

"Ah. So you haven't been eating lately?" Shadow flushed, clearing his throat. "I _knew_ you were looking a little thin!" He smirked, content he'd knocked Shadow off his mighty throne.

"_You_ should talk about skinny, you Halloween decoration." Shadow muttered affectionately. Sonic shrugged.

"I _will_ talk about it," he said proudly, poking Shadow's side in a ticklish manner that made Shadow squirm and giggle like a schoolgirl. "Mr. I-Don't-Need-Food-Ever-Cause-I'm-The-Ultimate-Lifeform. You should listen to your tummy sometimes! Oh, the things it does say!"

"You speak stomach?" Shadow giggled.

Sonic straightened up. "Acorse I do."

"Kay," Shadow smirked. "What does _mine_ say?"

Sonic was ready for this one. He grinned, tickling Shadow a little. "It says…ahem: 'Shadow? Why are you ignoring me? _Shadooowww_! I'm _hungry_! _SHADOOWWW_!'" Just as Sonic was explaining this, Shadow's stomach let out a mighty, sinister growl, making Shadow flush. Sonic giggled. "In tummy talk, that means you need a meal, mister!" And he poked at Shadow's midsection with deadly accuracy.

"Okay then…" Shadow was wondering how he could turn this around on Sonic, as they neared the base of the steps. He began to prepare the water by filling the tin tea kettle. "What's _yours_ have to say in the matter?"

That stunned Sonic momentarily, and set him to thinking as he inched his butt up onto the wooden table that now sat in the comfortable kitchen. Jack, who had followed them downstairs out of feline curiosity, began to bat at the edge of one of Sonic's socks, which had slipped off his foot in sleep.

Shadow set the water on the boiler and turned around to face his boyfriend. "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" He smiled a little. "Make that 'Jack got your tongue'."

Sonic sighed. "No, it's just that…" he swallowed, "my tummy's…dead." He sounded so morose about this fact that Shadow did a double-take…four times.

"Your stomach's…dead?" He repeated in disbelief. "What do you mean?"

The corner of Sonic's mouth turned up in a half-smile. "I mean my tummy's mostly gone silent. The last time it talked to me, it was so voracious that it almost frightens me now to think of it. My tummy back then…demanded that I eat _insane_ amounts of food—which I did—but when it came right down to it, I was still fundamentally hungry, and I paid the price for bingeing—for being a glutton."

Shadow frowned. "Sonic, you're definitely _not_ a glutton. You're everything _but_."

Sonic sighed. "No, I am a glutton. I need—I can inhale more calories in a day than most people eat in a year. Shadow, I'm a glutton. I am. If the world were not so full of food—if I didn't force myself to go hungry every so often—there would be no more food for anyone."

"Don't, don't say that." Shadow hissed. "You're _not_ a glutton. You just really do need all that food to stay alive. It isn't your fault. I'm not going to hit you if you binge a little bit, Sonic. In fact, I would _love_…" he stopped himself, for Sonic was looking away now.

"My tummy's last words were: "feed me. I'm hungry"." He bit his lip, closing his eyes. "Before I actually started eating again, my tummy…my tummy would moan softly, mourning how empty it was, and wishing—but hardly ever acting on it—to eat." He cradled his midsection with one hand, cringing a bit. "Before, it was torture to even _look _at food. Sure, I kept my cool. I _had_ to. But…I did eat Knuckles' steak—that's why he tried to kill me, you know."

Shadow seemed confused, but then nodded. "Oh. The day I rescued you."

"Yeah." Sonic watched as Shadow poured two cups of tea. "Two percent milk, please. What drove me to that was…hunger. There isn't an easy way to say that. I was starving, so I ate."

"Mmm," Shadow mused, disturbed by the insight he was receiving. Here he was so sure that everything would be better for Sonic once he'd taken over from Knuckles, but here Sonic was, starving, under his own roof! No, not starving. Sonic had said his stomach was "dead." What in hell did that mean?

"Anyway," Sonic went on, as if reading Shadow's mind. "My tummy's dead, now. It won't speak, cause there's no hope of getting anything. So sometimes, it mopes audibly. But it's not really alive. No, not really."

Shadow stared at Sonic, with absolutely nothing to say. Sonic smiled, hopping off the kitchen table. He lifted Jack into his arms, and took the cup of tea Shadow was holding.

"Well," he said at last with a shrug, "you wanted to know."

Shadow watched him retreat up the stairs. He took one look out the window before pouring his tea into the sink and opening the door to the outside world.

He was gone before Sonic had even climbed beneath the sheets, safe and sound in his room, filled not with food, but with dreams.

Dreams enough to keep him sated for a thousand years.


	38. Epiphany?

**Epiphany?**

"Sonic?" Shadow knocked on the bedroom door. "Sonic, I'm going over to Tails' house. Would you like to come?"

"Sure," came the reply, "why do you need to go see Tails?"

"We've…we've become friends." Shadow admitted sheepishly. It was true that, now that he and Tails had found common ground, there were a lot of notes to compare.

Sonic chuckled. "That's good. I'll be out in a sec…just have to slip into my sneakers."

Shadow leaned against the doorway and waited for gods-knew how long. He tapped his fingers against his elbows, listening to Sonic silently slip into his shoes and zipper up his jacket. Sonic had retreated into his room after fixing breakfast for Shadow (where he had gotten food—or money—to do so was beyond Shadow,) and the dark hedgehog had heard a blow-dryer going at some point. Maybe Sonic had taken a shower? Both the upstairs bedrooms had their own small bath.

Shadow nearly fell into the room when Sonic opened the door in. The black hedgehog losing his balance made the cobalt one giggle. Shadow noted that Sonic's chest fur was fluffed up considerably. Even the fur on his cheeks seemed puffed out. He was hiding his suffering.

Shadow knew the moment he touched Sonic, he would feel the bone. Though Sonic had put up a convincing façade, it would crumble at a single touch.

But, they smiled at each other, and held hands as they walked out to Shadow's shiny black car.

Since it hurt Sonic to carry him places, Shadow had finally invested in a car. It had all the best tricks of the car trade—leather seats with temperature control, surround-sound speaker system, Bluetooth abilities, four-wheel drive, and of course, the ability to park itself. The car had been expensive, especially with the addition of tainted windows, but it was worth the money, for how beautiful it was. Sonic often joked that the generous hood could be used to model on, and promised that, as soon as he was better, he would lay out on the hood and pose for Shadow.

Needless to say, Shadow was looking forward to that day.

Sonic had accepted and acknowledged that he was ill, at least as far as aching went, and had taken to wearing the sweatshirt around the house, begging Shadow to not keep the heat at an unbearable temperature which suited him better. Indeed, for Sonic only seemed warm anymore when the thermostat read 100 degrees or more. The house was now set at a cozy 72, but Sonic shivered even under thick blankets. He was shivering now, even though the sweatshirt was insulated and warm. He sneezed.

Shadow opened the car and the two hedgehogs got in. Sonic immediately set his seat temperature to the hottest it could go, literally melting like an ice cube into the backing. Comfortable, he then turned his attention to the radio, finding his favorite station as he buckled. Shadow started the car and they started the drive to Tails' house, which was a bit of a ways away.

Shadow turned to look at Sonic when they were on the highway, trying to judge if Sonic was getting carsick. Sonic didn't really like the car, as nausea usually plagued him at the propelling motion that was not caused by his own two feet. But Sonic didn't seem carsick at all. He was sleepily staring out the window, obviously content to just watch the world fly by.

"Are you okay?" Shadow asked.

Sonic yawned. "I'm sleepy. Must be the warm seat." He chuckled. Shadow sighed and took a glance back at the road. "So, we're going to see Tails? Good. I can check on Mai."

"What did you and Cosmo talk about last time?"

Sonic stretched out a little in the confines of his seat. "Well…I asked her what plants tell her when she talks to them."

"What did she say?"

Sonic shrugged. "Don't really remember. Something about sunlight and sugar." He grinned. "Guess plants aren't all that smart."

There was a bit of silence, until Sonic spoke again. "Why? Are you jealous?"

"No." Shadow snapped. "Why would you think that?" He grit his teeth.

"You sound jealous." Sonic replied, smug. "Don't worry, I'm yours. I promise."

"And I won't abuse that," Shadow promised. "Not ever. I won't be like Knuckles was."

Sonic shuddered. "Let's not talk about Knuckles."

Shadow nodded. "Right. Out of sight, out of mind."

"Exactly."

There was another long silence.

"Hey, Shadow?"

The black hedgehog inclined his head in Sonic's direction. "What is it, my love?"

"Would Knuckles go to jail, if the court convicted him of…what he did to me?"

Shadow frowned, trying to think straight. "Mmmm…probably. He'd probably have to pay a hefty fine, too."

"Oh." Sonic looked at his knees. "Shads?"

"Yes?"

"Would I have to testify against Knuckles in the case?"

Shadow shrugged. "It would be a good idea—proof and evidence and all that—but no one would make you, of course."

"Oh."

Silence.

"Shads?"

"Yes?"

Sonic bit his lip and looked out the windshield. "I…I don't _want_ you to bring that case to the courts."

"_What_?" Shadow was shocked, so of course it sounded angry. He tried vehemently to calm himself. "Why?"

Sonic was playing with his gloved fingers. "I…I don't want to be responsible for carting him off to jail…it wouldn't be fair. I couldn't live with myself if he went to jail. I'd die."

"Sonic," Shadow said gently. "For what he did to you, he _deserves _jail." He hissed angrily. "He deserves to die! The cretin. The _bastard_!" Shadow was shaking now with visible rage, his eyes burning in hellish passion. Sonic watched, concerned. Finally, he ventured out to try to reach Shadow through his anger.

"Shadow…"

"Sonic," Shadow took a breath to calm himself. "Sonic, he _deserves _it. Don't you see that?"

"Of course I do." Sonic said simply. "An eye for eye, a fist for a fist."

"Yes…" Shadow trailed off in confusion. "So?"

"Shads…" Sonic sighed, shaking his head. "Vengeance gets us no where. You got the restraining order, which forces Knux and I apart, and that's enough. My fear was of him hurting me, but now that I know he can't, I don't _need_ vengeance. I don't _want_ it." He leaned his head back tiredly against the seat, glancing at Shadow with tired, sad green eyes. "Does…does that make sense?"

Shadow nodded gravely. "I suppose it does. Look, we're here."

They heard Mai barking inside, and then she stopped. As they got out of the car, Cosmo came flying down the steps and into Sonic's arms.

"Oh, Sonic!" She cried, kissing his cheek. "It's _so_ good to see you! How are you?" She was in his arms, holding hers against his, staring into his eyes.

"Fine," Sonic responded, smiling. "It's good to see you, too, Cosmo. You look great." He kissed her cheek in a friendly manner, of course mimicking her customary greeting. Shadow still glared, jealous Cosmo suddenly warranted attention. Damn the pretty girl. Hmph.

Sonic and Cosmo, now arm-in-elbow, walked up towards the house, laughing and talking, to greet Mai, who was bouncing off the walls so much, she threatened to break something. Tails waved to Shadow, ushering him inside.

After their significant others were both talking loudly in the kitchen, Shadow and Tails retired to the formal living room. Shadow sunk into the lavish red leather couch, while Tails took his afternoon tea in a green satin armchair, looking very regal as he crossed his legs and leaned back into the chair. Shadow looked nervously like a rabbit around the room, at all the pictures on the wall depicting good times had by all, and paid special attention to the high-tec computer buzzing to defy the silence at the corner of the room.

"Well, Shadow," Tails began, "Sonic seems much improved."

Shadow nodded. "Yes. The remedy you suggested has been doing his duty. He's stopped throwing up the milk."

"Oh? So soon?" Tails scratched his chin. "Well now. That means his refeeding syndrome is lessoning."

"Are you saying he's ready to eat?" Shadow jumped up excitedly, a beam capturing his face in a rare moment of happiness.

Tails peered at Shadow over the white cup he held. "Not in large amounts, but, yes, he can start eating."

"He won't, though…" Shadow guessed. "Right? That's the catch?"

Tails nodded. "Yes, that is the catch. Sonic's still too nervous to eat."

"How will we get his guard down, then?"

"Well…Sonic loves to dance. In fact, there's a club not too far from his house called _Blue Leopard, Social Butterfly_. Sonic knows it, and he loves it. It's hetero-dominated, but very open to homos—that's mostly due to Sonic himself. The owners are nice people, too. Great drinks, great music. There's even a bit of a bar menu."

"It sounds good, but how do we get him to go?"

Tails smiled. "That's easy. Sonic loves to dance, so just tell him that Cosmo and I invited you and him, and, heck, we'll even throw Cream and Amy into the mix! Tell him the club, and he'll be hooked instantly. I guarantee."

"All right…" Shadow looked nervously past the doorway, into the kitchen where he could hear Sonic laughing. "If you say so."

Later, after everyone had said their goodbyes and the two hedgies were on the road again, Shadow looked at Sonic.

"I, uh…I need a cup of coffee some lunch. Is that okay?"

"Yeah."

Shadow pulled in to the nearest fast food place and decided that he would get a bacon double cheeseburger with fries and a root beer. Sonic asked if he could have a chocolate shake, and Shadow quickly obliged. They got their food in seconds and were on their way.

It didn't take long for Shadow to finish his burger, and he was soon back to concentrating full on the road. Sonic stole a few fries and gobbled them down, sipping at his shake every so often. When Shadow reached for the fries and grabbed Sonic's hand, reaching for the same thing, he pulled back, surprised, and looked at Sonic curiously.

"Sorry," Sonic apologized quickly, "wasn't thinking. Should've asked first."

"Don't apologize!" Shadow laughed. "Like I need to gain any weight! Eat as much as you like!"

Sonic smiled in gratitude and took a few more, dipping them in his shake first. "Thanks, Shadow."

"No problem. Oh, I almost forgot. Tails invited us and Amy and Cream to go to _Blue Leopard, Social Butterfly_ tomorrow night. Tails told me it was a club. Have you heard of it?"

"Heck yeah!" Sonic's mood seemed to brighten considerably, his eyes sparking with life. "It's only _the_ best club _EVER_! Man, I can't _WAIT_!" He giggled, too excited to contain it. "Are we gonna go?" He looked at Shadow, eager for the answer he wanted to hear.

Shadow smiled. "Oh, yeah. I already accepted for us, so I was hoping you'd say yes."

"That eager for me to dance all over you?" Sonic asked, chuckling. Shadow flushed, rather pleased. Having Sonic's ass all over his genitalia all night sounded like heaven! "I was planning on teaching Cosmo some moves as well—she's been begging for me to teach her for months—but you'll be getting _plenty_ of attention, don't worry." He smirked.

There was a long silence as Shadow contemplated Sonic's dirty dancing. Finally, Sonic spoke again.

"Hey Shadow? Wanna little taste?"


	39. Much Ado About

**Much Ado About…**

Shadow was so shocked at the words he was hearing that he had to force his foot away from the brake. What exactly was Sonic asking him? But he kept his excitement to a minimum, not wanting to scare Sonic, even though his heart was thumping wildly in his chest. "What do you mean?" He asked in a calm but slightly unnerved voice.

Sonic laughed. "You wanna kiss, silly?"

"_Yes_!" Shadow gasped, feeling like his dream had finally come true. He pulled over to the side of the road so quickly that several people honked at him.

"Uhh…" Sonic flipped the turn signal on just in time as Shadow swerved into the shoulder of the road and parked the car, slipping the parking break into place.

They sat staring at each other, then Sonic slowly moved to unbuckle. Shadow had his already undone, but it seemed Sonic was slightly more nervous now.

Indeed, Sonic's mind was panicking. _Oh no! What've I done? That's __**lust**__ I see in his eyes! __**OH**__! But it's too late, isn't it? I can't turn back…oh! If he hits me, I don't know __**what**__ I'll do! Uhmm…_ He was planning, trembling even as he leaned over to start the kiss. _I'll have to use all my speed…get the car door open in less than three seconds…how far is it to Tails'?_

But when their lips touched for the first time in what seemed like forever, Sonic let his guard down and melted. Shadow was letting him be in control (whether that was to last or not, neither boy knew), and only asked somewhat politely by licking Sonic's lower lip if he could be granted entrance. Sonic opened his mouth slightly and let Shadow's tongue in. He marveled at the taste of Shadow, who seemed to be tasting him as well. Then, Sonic took control. He pushed back against Shadow's tongue, and the two wet muscles began fighting for dominance. Shadow was letting Sonic win, and the blue hedgie had somehow forced Shadow onto his back, the seat on his side now down.

The boys separated to take a breath, and, in that moment, with the cars rushing in their ears, they realized what had transpired.

Sonic had ended up over Shadow's…area. Cobalt squeaked, blushing as furiously as Shadow was, though the frightened cry drew the ruby-eyed hedgehog from his bliss. Sonic moved faster than Shadow could transmit feeling—first, there was warmth over his genitals, now there was none. He rolled the seat up, still stunned and trying to figure out how he, Shadow the Hedgehog, had been dominated by his weak, underweight, sick double. Sonic, buckled again, had curled his legs up to his chest in a fetal position, shivering and very so often making little cries, his eyes darting about like flies, as if trying to make sense of the world.

Shadow was only faintly aware of Sonic's condition, and was focused on getting the car back onto the busy highway. Sonic stared out the window, shivering, wondering how he had gotten himself into this mess.

_In my darkest hours_

_I could not foresee_

_That the tide could turn so fast to this degree_

_Can't believe my eyes_

_How can you be so blind?_

_Is the heart of stone, no empathy inside?_

When they drove into the driveway and the car had come to a full stop, Sonic unbuckled and jumped out of the car, walking like a zombie back towards the house. He had left his milkshake not even halfway drank, and the fries had grown cold and slimy long ago. Sonic stumbled as if dizzy, not even really sure where he was going right now, and feeling very off-balance. His head swam with too many thoughts, his mind weighing more than he ever had. All he wanted to do was cuddle up with Jamie and sleep.

And he didn't want to see Shadow.

Even though Sonic didn't blame Shadow for what happened, he was well aware what Shadow _could_ do to him, if the dark one ever became so tempted. At best, Shadow was five times stronger than Sonic was, but now, in Sonic's weak state, those numbers had escalated to a hundred, maybe even a thousand! Sonic shivered. Those odds were too steep for his spindly body to overcome. He needed some rest…and alone time.

Shadow, worried at Sonic's drunken steps, got out of the car and called after him. "Sonic?"

The blue hedgehog turned his head over his shoulder, looking more dead than Shadow had ever seen him. "Yes?" Even his voice was monotone, refusing to have even one bit of character. His fur seemed to gray and dull, even as they spoke.

"Are…Will you still go to the club with me?"

"Yes. Of course." There was no hesitation. It seemed Sonic's desire to dance was stronger than whatever he was feeling right now. Shadow had a headache trying to fathom what sort of nightmares plagued Sonic at the moment.

Shadow breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. Thank you."

"Will that be all?" This was a little sarcastic, and Shadow had to stop himself from cracking a smile. It seemed Sonic was holding back a smile as well, though the dark one couldn't be sure.

"Let me know if you need anything."

"I just want to be alone for a while."

"Okay. Well…I'm here, so just let me know."

"Thanks, Shadow."

"I love you, Sonic."

The blue hedgehog nodded in recognition, the mirror burning in his throat. He didn't want to say it, because he didn't want it to sound like the robotic sentiments he'd told Knuckles. So he tried, very hard, to make it mean something—to Shadow and himself. "I love you, too, Shads." Then, in a flash of blue, he was gone.

Shadow sighed and got back into the car, turning the engine on. He decided he didn't want to be in the house. _But what if he needs you?_ His caring side stubbornly persisted. _He won't need me. He wants to be alone. Gods know what he'll do. Shower? Vomit? Or do I mean…cut? _Shadow shivered at that thought. The last thing Sonic needed was more wounds, not to mention the loss of any more blood.

_No_. Shadow started the car fully and drove off to the grocery store. Not that Sonic would eat, but now was as good a time as any to do that grocery shopping he'd intended to.

As it turned out, it was a good thing Shadow left, for as soon as the stealthy black car turned out of the driveway, Sonic began to cry so loud, it sounded like screaming. He cried-screamed until his voice went hoarse, and then shivered there on the bed until he fell asleep, waking often to nightmares that made him scream and cry and struggle in his bed, as if he was being choked by an anaconda.

These only seemed to end, or lesson, when Shadow walked in the door again.

_So in the end now what have we gained?_

_Can we break free from chains of never-ending agony?_


	40. Spinning Like a Record

**Spinning Like a Record**

The day of clubbing came at last, after what seemed like years. Both Shadow and Sonic were excited, but for slightly different reasons.

Sonic just couldn't wait to dance. Shadow, well…wanted to be danced _on_.

Around three in the afternoon, a call came for Sonic. Shadow couldn't help eavesdropping, although he didn't hear much.

Sonic swiftly ran into the kitchen and pulled the phone off the hook, he leaned against the counter, looking at his nails beneath the gloves. "H'lo? Hedgehog residence."

"Hey, Sonic!"

"Amy!" Sonic's eyes lit up and a smile crossed his face. "Hey, girl! What's up?"

"Not much, just checking in. You _are_ going tonight, aren't you?"

Sonic snorted. "_Please_! Would I miss a night of dancing?"

Amy laughed. "I suppose not."

"Hey, I forgot to ask if you and Cream are coming."

"Uh, _DUH_!" Sonic laughed at her frank attitude. "We were just about to go dress shopping. You wanna tag along?"

Sonic chuckled. "As if I have any taste in women's wear."

"I'll treat you to an ice cream or something."

"Thanks, I'll pass."

"How about a Buckstar drink?"

Sonic licked his lips. "All right. I'll tag along for that. By the way, I would come anyway. I just wanted to wait for a bribe."

"You!" Amy teased, giggling. "I'm going to give you such a bruise on your arm…"

"You'd better not. I'll run away."

Amy giggled. "So…shall we pick you up? Say…twenty minutes?"

"Sure! Sounds great! Oh, how's Cream doing?"

"Wonderful, thanks for asking! Her mood's improved from last time."

"Yeah, I'm sure you whipped her into shape."

"Stop! Hey, Cream made brownies for you guys. I heard from Tails your boyfriend's not taking care of himself."

"As if he ever does."

"By the way, is he coming with us?"

"Doubt it. Shads is _way_ anti-social. But I'll ask him anyways."

"We'll bring Vanilla's van, then."

"Ugh!" Sonic stuck his tongue out. "That slow old thing? _PUHLEEZ_! Bring your red speed demon, Ames."

Amy chuckled. "Will do. See you in a bit!"

"See you."

Sonic hung up the phone and cupped his hands over his mouth. "Hey, Shads?"

This made Shadow jump from his place on the railing. "Yeah?" He called back shakily.

"Amy, Cream, and I are goin to the mall."

"What for?" Shadow was a little jealous that the girls got to capture most of Sonic's afternoon.

"The girls wanna go dress shopping."

"Eww."

"I know, you're enthused. You were invited, but I expected this would happen."

"Yeah, much as I'd like to keep an eye on you," here, Shadow made an appearance, petting Sonic between his ears, "no way am I into dress shopping. You're on your own. And be a good boy. No tricks."

Sonic smirked, making Shadow smirk back. "I'll be a good little boy, Shads. Promise."

"Yeah…you'd better promise." Shadow watched as Sonic went to the refrigerator.

"Hey! When'd you go shopping, Shads?"

"I had some time. Did I forget anything?"

"Wrong brand of root beer." Sonic frowned.

"_Ex-kuuooze me_!" This sarcasm earned a playful glare from green eyes.

"Oh well. It'll have to do." Sonic lifted out a can, popping the top and indulging. Shadow gave a little grin. The can had to be at least 250 calories, if Sonic managed to drink it all. And the massive amounts of sugar would be sure to help his boyfriend out as well.

"What brand _do_ you prefer?" Shadow wondered, out of curiosity.

"Bandeez Brand Root Beer." Sonic smiled blissfully. "Best. Root beer. _Ever_."

"It may not be. But to your tongue, it is."

Sonic chuckled. "Okay, I vote you take off from talking to Tails for a while, hon."

Shadow scratched the side of his head. "Why?"

Sonic chugged the rest of the root beer and crumpled the can, tossing it away as he spoke. "You're starting to sound like him."

Suddenly, a charming car horn sounded.

Sonic pointed towards the door. "That'll be the girls!" He slipped into a lime green sweatshirt that brought out his eyes nicely. "You sure you don't wanna tag along?"

"Dress shopping?" Shadow scrunched up his face. "No thanks!"

"Let me rephrase," Sonic got as close as he could to Shadow, making his dark double flush as if feverish. "You sure you'll be okay, _alone_, for a few hours?"

Shadow snorted. "Of course! I was alone for fifty years, remember!"

"Yes, but you were in cyrosleep, then." Sonic pouted.

"I assure you, I'll be fine." Shadow hugged Sonic gently. "Now, go have a blast. I'll see you later for clubbing."

"Yeah! You know it!" Sonic grinned, speeding out the door. "Bye!"

Shadow watched Sonic get into the car and drive off. Then he settled down to make himself a sandwich and watch whatever entertaining television programs happened to be on.

_Lyrics in the last chapter were Our Solemn Hour by Within Temptation. Sorry I forgot to post that! XD_


	41. Dance Floor Lover

**Dance Floor Lover**

Jamie's ferocious barking was what awoke Shadow from his nap. He had gone into Sonic's room to change the sheets and take out the trash and laundry, but he'd gotten distracted and sleepy in Sonic's mildly untidy room, and he remembered that as he woke up. Flushing, he jumped out of bed and ran to the stairs.

Jamie was still barking at the door, circling and growling protectively. Things were coming into focus for Shadow—a red, sleek car without a hood, two girls inside—the pink hedgehog was driving—shopping bags in the back.

And…Sonic. Laughing and saying good bye, no doubt.

"Jamie, shush," Shadow commanded. The pepper-colored poodle let out one last growl, and calmed down. When the door opened, however, she was all over Sonic's feet, rubbing her face against them like a cat and wagging her little pom-pom tail.

"Hi, Jamie!" Sonic greeted, bending down to pet the little dog. Shadow wished Sonic would turn around so he had an ass view…but calmed his lust. Very soon, he would be the object of Sonic's attention. Sonic meanwhile had lifted the little puppy into his arms, submitting to massive licking and squirming. "Oh, oh! Stop, James, I can't breathe!" But he was petting her all the same, obviously just as happy to see her as she was to see him.

As Shadow descended and Jamie got calm, Sonic looked up. "Oh, hey, Shads. Ready to go clubbing? Tails wanted us to meet at the entrance by eight-thirty, and no way I'm gonna be late!"

"Sonic," Shadow scolded, "it's almost seven-fifteen."

"Yeah? So? I can get dressed in fifteen!"

Shadow laughed. "That you can. So…" He pointed to the little black bag Sonic had over his arm. It read _Spicy Thesis_ on one side. "What's in the bag?"

"Tsk, tsk!" Sonic clicked his tongue and turned profile. "It's for clubbing! A surprise! A surprise, Shads!" And he promptly stuck out his tongue, causing Shadow to laugh.

"I'm not sure I understand the terminology."

"Surprise can be a noun or a verb. In which case do you need it defined?" Sonic kissed Jamie's face, making Shadow want very much to be the poodle in that instant.

"I was kidding, you know. So _who_ needs to take a break from seeing Tails again?"

Sonic laughed. "Go get dressed, silly! I call the downstairs bathroom!" And away he went in a flash of blue light.

"Wait! Ugh, Sonic! That's not fair!" Shadow called, running after him. "How can you change while holding Jamie?"

_Ain't no reason to celebrate _

_But you know we gon' hav a ball _

_Champagne spillin' from the wall _

_And I'll be partying til hella late_

Shadow was flipping channels, playing with Jack and feeding Jamie ham from his sandwich. The little dog sat at his feet, begging.

"Hmph. This is what comes when Sonic spoils you," But Shadow had to smile, giving up a bit of ham to the pepper-colored poodle. "But someone has to feed you, eh?" He took a bite of his sandwich and flicked the channel again, not really interested in what was flashing before his eyes. "Hey Sonic! You almost ready? It's eight o'clock!"

"Gimme a sec, Shads!" Sonic called from the bathroom. The blow drier started up again, its loud humming startling Jamie for a brief moment.

"Hmph." Shadow gave one last piece of meat to Jamie before devouring the rest of his sandwich. He needed some fuel to dance tonight.

But what about Sonic? Shadow felt the food turn heavy in his stomach. Sonic had barely eaten _anything_ over a period of a couple years. So….how could he spare the energy?

"Okay, Shads!" Shadow jumped and turned off the television. "I'm all set! We can go!"

Shadow turned and felt his jaw drop.

Sonic had several piercings (they must've been fake—they were hard to miss) on his ears. The right ear had two silver rings and the left had sideways semicolon studs and a silver ring. Draped amongst his quills was a golden sequin scarf, which sparkled in the soft lighting of the living room. His gloves were tied to his wrists by one gold and one silver band each, and around his neck silver chains glittered. He smiled, glad that Shadow approved.

"Wow," Shadow breathed after a moment of stunned silence, "Sonic, you look like a million bucks!"

Sonic giggled. "Thanks, Shadow. This isn't even _half_ by bling, but, uh….wearing all of it is too heavy for serious clubbing." He winked, heading for the door. "You ready?"

Shadow watched Sonic pass, and saw what an effort he'd made to really make his fur fluff up. He grabbed Sonic's arm, and, sure enough, he grabbed what the façade hid.

Bone.

"Are _you_ ready?" Shadow's lips pouted, his eyes filled with concern. "Can you go through with this? I mean, you haven't eaten since-" But he was interrupted, as Sonic snatched his hand away, not meeting Shadow's eyes.

"I'm fine, Shadow." He smiled, closing his eyes. "I'm always ready to dance!" He then looked at Shadow, his eyes pleading and hopeful. "Let's go, before we're late."

"Mmmm, yes sir!" Shadow grinned, tickling Sonic's side to make him get out of the doorway.

"Oh, you!" Sonic giggled madly, sliding gracefully into the car. "You're so cute!"

"Heh heh, yeah, I guess." Shadow got into the driver's seat and started the car up. But he couldn't get over the empty feeling that all was not right.

Had Sonic…lied? Had he lied about being totally okay with this? Sonic didn't like to talk about his binge. After all, it was probably embarrassing for him in retrospect. But…there was that feeling…that feeling Shadow had, that…that all was not right.

_Had Sonic lied?_

Did he have _reason_ to?

_From here on out_

_I'll be your commander _

_No fear no doubt _

_I'll provide the answer_

The two male hedgehogs pulled up at eight-thirty sharp, only to find Tails and Cosmo, Cream and Amy, waiting for them. Sonic couldn't wait to get out of the car, especially since he'd been a tidbit carsick.

"Ladies!" He called, waving. "Hey, Tails! Gosh, you all look great!"

Indeed they did. Amy was wearing a cream-colored sequin cocktail dress which only had one shoulder, across the left, and had a chiffon skirt peeking out the bottom with an uneven fringe. She had a pair of comfortable dancing flats on—or were they sneakers? It was hard to tell in the low lighting!

Cream was wearing a subtle pink dress made of cozy cotton fabric, a red rose slipped to one of her ears, the other ridden with fake piercings like Sonic had. _Her_ shoes were skate sneakers—that much was obvious—but they matched her dress so perfectly that no one seemed to care.

Tails was dressed simply, in a concert tee shirt and jeans and black high tops. His girlfriend Cosmo had on a stunning green dress, that alternated from forest green to spring green when she moved. It sparkled with a sequin waistline and showed off her delicate neck, which she accented with a draping golden necklace.

"Same to you, Sonic!" The girls laughed, fixing his chains and playing with his piercings and tugging his scarf into place where it had slipped down.

"Gosh, I thought it would stay!" Sonic pouted.

Amy giggled. "Here. Get it how you want it," she reached into her chest, "and I'll bobby-pin it in for you."

"Thanks, Ames," Sonic smiled as Amy fixed his quills. "Cosmo, you look awesome! Love the dress! Where'd you get it?"

"Tails imported it," Cosmo twirled. "You like?"

"Cute!" The girls agreed.

"Sparkly." Sonic said. The girls laughed.

"Well," Tails said, "shall we go in?"

"Yes!" Chorused Sonic and the girls. Then, Cosmo got on Tails' arm, Cream on Amy's, and Sonic walking next to Shadow.

"Hey," Amy whispered as they were walking in, "this is your first public acknowledgement."

"Say what?" Sonic whispered back.

"It's the first time you and Shads will be seen together in public!"

"Oh." Sonic shrugged. "So what? Everyone already knows I'm gay, from my last bee eff. I care…why?"

"Just thought I'd remind you," Amy said.

The club throbbed with music instantly as they got in, pushing on their ears. Sonic weaved his way to the front, just as one of his favorite clubbing songs hit the speakers.

"I feel like the DJ is my bodyguard, you see the way he keeps me safe , with the treble and that bass, I feel free enough to party hard, this dress won't go to waste, feels like I own the place, yeah!"

Sonic instantly began to move, flowing like water to the exact beat of the music. Boys and girls alike seemed to keep an eye on him, as if they knew it was his song.

"V.I.P to to be the boss, you see the way these people stare, watching how I fling my hair. I'm a dancefloor lover! Baby there's no other, who do it like I do it yeah!"

Cosmo moved against Tails, and even Cream and Amy took turns dancing on each other. Shadow stood awkwardly amongst the closeness of the crowd, but Sonic grabbed him by the wrists and proceeded to grind against him, tugging at the snow white chest fur with his teeth.

"From here on out, I'll be your commander! No fear no doubt, I'll provide the answer! Right now I command you to dance! I'll be your commander."

Sonic turned around so he was dancing against Shadow, moving not only his ass but his whole body against him, already beginning to break a sweat from the closeness of the crowd.

_Right now I command you to dance _

_I'll be your commander_

_Right now I command you to..._

No one had as much stamina for dancing, and one by one, his friends dropped from the dance floor like houseflies. Shadow yearned to be back with Sonic, but it was nearing midnight, and it had been a long time since he'd eaten.

"Breakfast in a club," Tails shouted over the noise. "Great! Anyone's ears hurt yet?"

Everyone laughed at that. They all ordered from the bar menu. Shadow ordered a big, juicy steak, Tails got a hamburger, and Amy and Cream shared a bucket of chicken. Just as the food was coming to the table, Sonic came over.

"Hey guys!" He shouted, waving at them all and seeming quite out of breath from his nonstop dancing. "Had enough already?"

"We'll be back, Sonic." Cosmo promised. "The rest of us are _not_ the fastest thing alive!"

Sonic laughed aloud. "No! Certainly not! Ooops!" He stepped aside as the waitress brought the food out.

Shadow watched Sonic out of habit. The face he made…and his ears flopped and even his color seemed dull! He moved his hands and rested them loosely on his hips. "Well," he said, "see ya!" And he dashed away into the crowd.

"How rude!" Amy joked. They all laughed.

Except Shadow. Shadow was thinking. He was watching Sonic dancing back-to-back with a raccoon girl. He was certain there was an uneasiness in Sonic.

Just the kind of loophole he was looking for.

_I'll provide the answer_

_**Lyrics are:**_

_**Kelly Rowland-Commander**_

_Join me next time! :P_


	42. A Sort of Loophole

**A Sort of Loophole**

When the night of dancing had finally come to an end, the friends parted ways.

It was two-thirty AM.

By the time Sonic and Shadow pulled into the driveway, it was nearly four AM. Shadow unbuckled from his seat and shook Sonic lightly. "Hey, Sonic?"

Sonic started, obviously not realizing he'd fallen asleep. "I'm up, I'm up," he mumbled groggily. "Where are we?"

"We're home." Shadow answered, smiling passively in the dark.

"Oh. Yeah. Home." And Sonic closed his eyes again.

Shadow sighed and got out of the car. Seconds later, he was reaching over to unbuckle Sonic and proceed to carry him into the house. Sonic watched with bleary eyes as they got to the door.

Jamie was awake and barking protectively, but when she realized who it was, she settled down and went back to sleep. Sonic yawned hugely. "Ugh, I'm so dirty…"

"I haven't changed your sheets yet. You can shower in the morning."

"It _is_ morning, Shads."

Shadow chuckled. "I suppose it is. How do you like that? We danced the night away!"

Sonic shivered, suddenly feeling lustful. He'd been focusing so much on pleasuring Shadow that he totally forgot the black hedgehog was the one he'd wanted since realizing his sexual orientation.

It made his body long for Shadow, even though his logical mind knew and understood that there was no way in hell or heaven he had even the remotest bit of strength to do what was required. He moaned, grabbing at Shadow's chest fur weakly.

Shadow looked down, concerned. "What is it, Sonic?"

"Ungh, take me, Shadow. I _want you_! Oooohhh,"

Shadow felt the love go right to his groin. Oh, gods. How he'd _longed_ to hear those words! Lust had finally overcome Sonic's need to protect himself! He _wanted_ sex! Shadow, shivering with delight and anticipation, put Sonic on his bed. "I'll be right back," he promised, thinking of a way to get some calories into Sonic while satisfying his own lustful desires. He grabbed a banana and a leftover hotdog (heating the latter first) and returned to find Sonic slowly removing the scarf from around his quills, still on his back and prone.

Sonic saw the banana and grinned mischeviously. He grabbed it from Shadow and peeled it. He then slowly proceeded to eat it, sucking on it and taking it out to tease the black hedgie. Shadow was more than teased, and he moaned as his erection began to reach its point. Sonic finished the banana and Shadow handed him the hotdog as he pulled off his sneakers and got onto the bed, teasing his erection into Sonic.

The blue hedgie moaned and yelped in sudden pain. "Don't," he breathed, "don't go too fast. I—I'm bruised terrible there. Be gentle!"

Shadow kissed his nose. "With pleasure. We'll take it nice and slow. Promise." And he proceeded to put more of it in. He knew Sonic's poor tailbone was sore and abused, and he was willing to make the concession of being gentle. Especially since Sonic was teasing him by thrusting the hotdog into his mouth, biting it slowly until the bits came off, with Shadow moaning every second. Fatefully, Shadow began to thrust a little faster, in order to reach his top. Sonic cried, for it was painful, and began to see Shadow in a new light.

He spit out the hotdog pieces he had in his mouth and discarded the uneaten bit. Then, with one swift motion, he kicked Shadow with both sneakered feet (his shoes he had not removed in all this) on the chest, knocking the wind right out of the dazed lover. Sonic was then gone in a second, feeling very sick. He ran up to the bathroom connected to his room and spent at least thirty minutes dry-heaving.

"No good," he mumbled, "the food's already been digested." He didn't want to leave Shadow any room for pleasure, but he realized weakly that with his body so starved as it was, food would be absorbed like water to a sponge. His eyes bulged at that, in fear of his own body as his stomach spoke in complaints from its prison in the form of loud growling. Sonic's mouth watered, and he hissed at his own weakness in himself.

He looked around for a means of punishing himself, and found the shower. He quickly turned on the facet and, removing all the jewelry, his gloves, socks, and sneakers, he stepped into the hot shower and fell upon his knees, crying in anguish at having made himself so vulnerable again.

Shadow gained back his wind and thought to comfort Sonic, but it was too late. The dark hedgehog heard Sonic in the shower, sobbing—probably until he had no more tears to give.

Shadow fell to his knees and pounded his fists into the carpet. No tears would come, now that he needed them, and he wished—he prayed—that they would relieve him of his sorrow. He had failed his boyfriend. He had failed, something he told himself he'd never do again.

He had failed, to save the one he loved.

_School has started! Which means updates may be stunted for a while. Please review! Tell your friends! And I promise that, as soon as I get in the swing of things, I __**WILL**__ be updating this! Thanks for your cooperation and patience!_

_~Sylvie_


	43. To The World of the Living!

_Haha, still trying to get into the swing of school, but omigod I'm BOOOORRRREEEDDD. So here we go!_

**To the World of the Living!**

After the incident, Sonic and Shadow stayed apart, in separate rooms. Shadow only emerged to go to work, and Sonic only to use the restroom, as he had grown tired of only seeing the inside of his room, and so gave himself an excuse to stretch his legs. If they ever met in the hallway or in the kitchen, they simply stared at each other noncommittally and departed for the stairs. Sonic would sometimes run away from Shadow, if he saw him in the halls. There was fear again in Sonic's eyes, a fear level he hadn't felt since being with Knuckles, and that fear gave Shadow migraines. Sometimes, it even made Shadow cry.

Regardless, Shadow had to live. Although rich enough, he went to work so Sonic could have full run of the house. When Shadow got home in the evening, he would smell Sonic everywhere, sometimes even in the backyard and around the house. Sonic's state had stopped affecting his speed much, and even if it did affect him, Sonic ran anyway, simply because it was all he ever knew. Regardless of fear, Sonic felt tied to this place, and he fought with himself bitterly over why and how that was.

When had Sonic the Hedgehog ever felt bound to a certain place?

The last of winter melted away, and rainy spring came. Shadow used the car often, for the benefit of the headlights and also so he didn't get wet. Shadow was quite the prideful thing, really-when he had time to think about himself, that is.

One afternoon, Shadow came home from his work early, because of a power outage. He felt himself blindly walk to the door, let himself in, and throw down his wet umbrella on the floor to dry. He stomped into the kitchen, but as he passed, something out of the routine caught his eye.

A blue thing huddled on the staircase.

Like the Cheshire Cat, Shadow could _feel_ those green eyes burrowing into his back as he worked to prepare his chicken dinner. In all honesty, he wanted to see if Sonic would react, at all, to the smell of food. Knowing Sonic's eyes were on him all the time, Shadow warmed up his chicken nuggets, causing Jamie to trot in and see what was cooking.

After the chicken nuggets were done, Shadow tossed one to Jamie, his eyes looking for Sonic.

But the blue hedgehog had disappeared from the stairs.

Suddenly, Jamie growled and started barking at the shadows. A voice, almost speaking a different language, spoke to her in low whispers. Jamie trotted over to the voice and Shadow heard the cracking of bones.

Sonic entered the harsh light of the kitchen.

In this lighting, his cheeks looked pale and sallow, his eyes sunken into his skull. His gloves were slipping off his boney hands, his socks and shoes looking like they had grown a size too big. His body was thin and shivery, and he hugged Jamie to his chest for warmth. Jack, never far from the action, had found his way up onto the counter and began to lick his creamy white paw.

Sonic said something else in what sounded like a different language and Jack jumped off the counter and promptly went to sit on his shoe. The cat twitched his tail and looked at Shadow with inquisitive green eyes.

"Hi, Sonic," Shadow ventured shyly, the first words he'd spoken to Sonic since the incident.

Sonic looked away and would not meet his eyes. Jamie licked his cheek. Finally, Sonic swallowed, the lump as visible as a snake's dinner, and finally responded in a hoarse and beaten voice…

"Hello, Shadow."

Shadow smiled weakly. He had longed to hear Sonic say his name, but not in this manner. Not at all in this manner. "Sonic, I feel like we went back fifty steps," he began.

"We did," Sonic snapped, biting his lip and staring at the ground.

"Sonic, I—I want to make this right, and I don't know how," Shadow pleaded. "Please believe me! Help me make this right! Help me make _us_ right!"

Sonic shook his head slowly, the bones in his neck cracking. He couldn't understand what he was feeling—he couldn't describe it. A deep part of his heart beat for Shadow, and there was love there, hidden very deep down beneath paranoia and fear. But another, larger part of his body and mind wanted to keep him away from anyone that loved him. Sonic wanted very much to be alone, but he felt ties to this place. To Shadow.

Ties that no amount of paranoia or fear could erase in him. He wanted to leave, but he wanted to stay at the same time. Having no other response to the conflicting of his emotions, he felt himself begin to cry.

Shadow felt dead, hearing Sonic cry, and he wanted no part of it. In his mind, he wanted to get away. But in his heart, he wanted to comfort Sonic. The one he truly loved. The one he had loved upon first meeting him. Shadow wanted to reach out…somehow. He used his therapist voice. "Sonic? Do you want to talk it out?"

"No!" Sonic hissed, tears flooding his voice. "I," he looked at Shadow, then, his eyes full to bursting with salty tears, "I—I want to _stay_, with you, but…I'm afraid…"

_I'm afraid, so afraid,_

_Being raped again, and again, and again._

_I know I will die alone._

_But loved._

"I understand," Shadow smiled, still professional. "I do. Better than you think. It was like this when Maria-"

"_NO_!" Sonic shouted suddenly, very nearly dropping Jamie. The poodle squirmed in his arms, afraid of her own master. Sonic put her down and resumed screaming. "_NO!_ You _FUCKER_! It was _NEVER_ like this for you! _NEVER_! FUCKING _NEV-ER!_" His chest heaved as he bent low, his stance changing, suddenly willing to fight, using every ounce of strength in his boney little body. Shadow felt sobs building, seeing him ready to fight, with that determination in his eyes—to defeat or be defeated—and he fought to keep composure.

"Okay," he soothed, "okay. It was nothing like this. Nothing like you're going through."

"Damn right," Sonic pouted, crossing his arms over his chest like a spoiled child deprived of a toy. Shadow had to hold back a snicker, seeing Sonic acting so lighthearted. It was more…in character…for Sonic to act a little bratty. It made Shadow smile just a bit wider.

Suddenly, Sonic was smiling, too, and the scene's tenseness collapsed into giggles.

"That was silly," Sonic chuckled. "Man! I haven't felt this much like myself since the club!"

Shadow chuckled as well. "You seem much improved, Sonic. How about a hug?"

The blue hedgehog laughed more, and dissolved into the wind like a handful of sand.

He was gone.

_Well_, thought Shadow, _at least he didn't kick me this time!_

_o.O did YOU know Sonic could curse? XD Anyways…I'll probably be writing again. PLZ REVIEW K THX BYEEE _

_Also, I'm looking at you, SPA. You bettah review this, or you're gonna be in trouble. :P_


	44. Secretive Matters

**Secretive Matters**

_Teehee, I'm Renaldo…teehee_

_Erh…ahem! Sorry about that. I'm spending WAYYY too much time on youtube._

_Anyway! Lyrics for the last chapter were from Poet and the Pendulum by Nightwish! (Or is it "The Poet and the Pendulum?" *is too lazy to look it up herself*) _

_Yeah…enjoy the chapter!_

_~Sylvie_

Sonic lay in bed on his back, staring aimlessly into the dark. He could feel his heartbeat, not in his chest, but at the very base of his stomach, near his waist. He closed his eyes, remembering ways he joked with his friends about playing the belly drums before and after dinner to see how the sounds compared. He sighed furiously in the dark. "Sometimes," he told his stomach, "I want to know what you sound like. But I'm afraid to play you! I'll hurt myself."

His stomach gave a stormy growl, a rare occurrence these days. Sonic liked to think it was speaking back to him. _I __**am**__ making a noise! And I am telling you to eat!_

Sonic was quite conflicted. He remembered the feeling of pleasure he'd gotten from eating the banana for Shadow. At the time, he'd done it to egg Shadow on, blinded by his lust, but it had felt good in his stomach, too, now that he remembered it. It made him hungry, and it made him irritable, knowing he couldn't eat.

"But," Sonic wondered aloud, "what's stopping me, though?" That made him confused. But, determined, he rose from bed.

Jamie stirred, wondering where he was going, but opted to stay asleep with Jack, who was lying half on top of her, anyway. She wasn't too concerned about her master. She knew he wouldn't leave the house.

Across the hall, Shadow, unable to sleep deeply as usual, heard Sonic stirring in his room. This was an uncommon occurrence. Fatigue often dragged the cobalt hedgie into deep sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. The dark hedgehog, curious, pricked his ears and listened hard to his double, his love. The blue hedgehog was descending the stairs, going slowly in the dark. A flower of fear grew in Shadow. _Would he leave?_ In a panic, but calculative, he waited until Sonic was out of earshot and then dashed to the landing.

The kitchen light was on. Shadow could see clearly what Sonic was doing. Cobalt had found a container of icing in the pantry, and was now proceeding to open it. Shadow couldn't help giggling to himself in excitement, muffling his voice into his fists so Sonic wouldn't notice. _He's going to eat!_ That turned Shadow on almost instantly.

Sonic could have no hope of hearing Shadow, for he was in his own little world. He peeled off the silvery covering on top of the plastic can of milk chocolate icing and fetched a spoon from the drawer. For a long moment, he leaned into the counter and looked into the perfect, store-processed swirl in the icing as if expecting to see his future within. This would be his first food in quite a while, and this fact terrified him to his core. Why, he could not be entirely sure. He had been right in his bed musings; there was no one to stop him from eating. If anything, Shadow encouraged it! There was no obstacle, but his own negative thoughts.

Sonic dove his spoon deep into the center of the icing, bringing up a huge, rounded mountain of the creamy substance. Sonic sniffed it out of habit and, upon finding that it was perfectly all right and _not_ poisoned, he gave the stiff mountain a little lick.

Shivers ran down his spine from the enjoyable taste, and when he opened his eyes again, they were bright and alive and starved. His whole body trembled with excitement, and it was almost enough to rattle his teeth out of place! With his arm trembling as if it was bitter cold, Sonic inserted the spoon into his mouth with little difficulty. "Mmm!" The creaminess of the chocolate substance was pleasing to his dormant taste buds. As he swallowed, his stomach gave a hollow grumble of complaint, and it was not long before Sonic repeated the process, growing hungrier all the time.

Unfortunately, Shadow's fetish happened to be Sonic eating. He'd noticed that from when Sonic was eating during sex. And it was making him moan and grind against the banister a little louder than he would've liked…because Sonic's sensitive ears picked it up immediately.

A squeal of terror brought Shadow back to reality, making him stand up and descend the stairs. "Sonic?"

But Sonic was already gone. The silver spoon had not yet finished falling to the floor, and the half-eaten can of icing lay rolling about on the counter. Shadow kicked himself, for he knew what Sonic had seen and why he'd ran off.

And that made Shadow feel the most depressed of all.

_Woo! Sorry Shadow's character was half-assed…I promise it'll be better next time!_


	45. High Proof

**High Proof**

_Another kinda shortie chappie! o.O well then…_

Shadow had nothing else to do but flop down, depressed, on the couch and wait for Sonic to return. He played with the touch-activated desk lamp absently, bored and worried out of his mind.

Sonic was weak yet, though he didn't seem to let it bug him. And where exactly was he _going_, anyway? It was so late…only the bars would be open…bars…open…Sonic…oh!

Shadow shot up off the couch in a passion, determined to find his love. He stomped to the door, grabbed the car keys, and stopped. There were about fifteen bars in the city alone, much less ones Sonic could reach by running fast enough. And even if Shadow _did_ find Sonic, odds were Sonic was going to be in no mood to come home with Shadow. No, the dark hedgehog would have to wait.

And that was unfortunate, for he was out of patience.

_So where the hell are you? _

_So where are you when I need someone, too? _

_I'm tired of needing you. _

When Sonic returned home, it was still dark, and the advent of rain made a drumming sound on the roof. Sonic's steps were heavy on the stair—he was drunk, without any consideration for his own intolerance to alcohol. Shadow sat in the dark, staring at the door, listening as the door opened.

Sonic staggered in the doorway, his eyes wet and wild from the drink. Those eyes had seen so much, and now they were seeing more. Shadow imagined he could hear Sonic's stomach sloshing, it was so full of drink.

"Sorry," Sonic mumbled flatly, "decided I was too dry."

"Are you any wetter?" Shadow bit his lip to keep back his worried snapping.

Sonic chuckled, and then laughed loudly like a madman. His eyes closed and he threw back his head with a mighty crack of bones as loud as thunder. He shook and rocked as he laughed, rainwater dripped off his quills and changing his shoe color to a dark red and his gloves and socks a steely gray. When his head snapped back into place, his smile was straight out of a horror movie. "You fool," he slurred, so Shadow needed to mentally translate his words, "of course I'm _wet_! I _was_ out in the rain, after all…"

Shadow realized that Sonic held a great chunk of his sanity, even drunk. The drink did not drive him into a rage or make him another person entirely, as it did to Knuckles. It only made his laugh come easier, his smile wider, and his movements less graceful. Although Sonic definitely looked the part of a creepy villain, he was still Sonic. And that made Shadow's heart thump hard and fast.

"I suppose you were," he sighed at length. Sonic cocked his head, the bones cracking loudly. Shadow felt like his love was possessed by a demon. Sonic's eyes seemed cloudy—far from his own.

"I'm sorry, Shadow," Sonic straightened back up. The noise his body made sounded similar to a marionette's limbs hitting together. He looked at his nails through his glove. "Sorry, sorry, sorry," He chuckled, his mad smile pressing itself on his face again.

"For what?" Shadow asked calmly. But he didn't need the words that came. Sonic was green in a minute.

"I drank over my limit," was the reply. In a moment, Sonic was gone. Loud, violent vomiting was heard from the upstairs hall bathroom.

Shadow felt like he'd just been electrocuted. His blood red eyes filled with tears, his chest shook with sobs. The black hedgehog curled his knees to his chest and buried his face into his knees.

And then he cried nearly as much rainwater as the storm itself could produce.

Sonic's vomiting filled the quite house with despair, as well as that vile, horrid sound, that stormy night.

And would not leave it for a long time.

_I was wrong to think that I could ever trust in you, _

_I was wrong to think that you might want to trust me, too. _

_LYRIXXX_

_Where? by Nickelback_


	46. Tossed

**Tossed**

_Tossed in the air_

_Where there's no gravity,_

_No oxygen,_

_No fear, no earth,_

_Will I ever come down?_

_Do I want to come down?_

_~Sylvie_

Sonic's fatigued mind was bent on survival for the body. His paranoia and fear had reached a dizzying amount, enough to make a normal person crazy. In fact, this was the stuff that made veterans of war loose their heads, their calm, their cool. _This_ is what caused former spies to set booby traps for even the lowliest of visitors. It had the _ability_ to drive someone mad.

To Sonic, this was not madness (though it very well could have been). This…was survival.

Never truly relaxed anymore, Sonic was gaining muscles from being tense at all hours of the day and night, always ready to jump, to fight, to defend. Many of these muscles were devoured by his hungry body, so that he was falling away at the seams. His skin did not sag, but it stretched ever tighter against his bones. When he was wet, one could very nearly trace the shape of his internal organs at his chest, and see every vertebrae of his spine. His stomach was a Chihuahua, not conscious of its size, yipping and growling by turns, but mostly being ignored as no large threat.

Yes, Sonic was very hungry. In fact, he spent his nights awake, tense and unable to sleep anyway, but miserably hungry as well. A small taste of icing—of food—had made him mad to taste more. And his logic made him madder still.

Because this was Sonic's reasoning, the thought that fueled his tired mind, the paranoia that kept his fatigued and ruined body tense:

_I must displease Shadow. To do that, I must throw up. If I do not throw up, Shadow will lust after me. If I do not throw up, Shadow will make love to me. I must displease Shadow so he will __**not**__ make love to me._

This was Sonic's mad, flawed game plan. Somewhere in there was 'Shadow will make me eat,' but Sonic's mind found that pleasing to his body, so that was not part of this repeating mantra in his head.

_Must displease Shadow. Must throw up. Must not allow Shadow to make love to me. Must throw up. Must. Must!_

And that is what Sonic did. Sonic would sit, looking into the toilet bowl for hours, dry heaving until something came up. When something did, it was white like curdled milk, red, pink, and yucky. It was bone marrow, muscles, and blood. And phlegm. The thought of what it was, or seeing it, made Sonic vomit more. And when he was done vomiting for the moment, he flushed the toilet and applauded himself on a job well done.

But there was a part of him—granted, it was a small part, but an integral one—that detested this. Part of him saw through the maddening security of paranoia. Part of him thought this was wrong. This part was not siding with his stomach—the organ itself moaned and complained with hunger, causing longings to grow in Sonic sometimes, only to die off without warning—no.

This part was siding with his heart.

Because this part of him, through the trembling, sleepless nights and the repeating mantra of self-inflicted pain…

…heard the ceaseless sobs of Shadow.

And so it went on, for countless weeks.

_I think we have an emergency_

_If you thought I'd leave, then you were wrong_

_Cause I won't stop holding on_

_So are you listening?_

_So are you watching me?_

_If you thought I'd leave, then you were wrong_

_Cause I won't stop holding on._

Sonic sat rocking on his bed, his knees were pressed close to his chest. He could feel all of his bones.

He was shivering, his eyes wide and mad in the darkness. Another purging was to come soon, and he knew this.

"Must displease Shadow. Must throw up. Must. Must! Urrrgh…" Sonic pressed his lips against his bone knees, shivering all the time. He could feel the bile rising. He was sick. He was sick and paranoid and tired.

Tired of fear. Tired of all of this.

Sonic ran into the bathroom to vomit.

There wasn't much in his stomach, so Sonic threw up once and was dry heaving the rest of the time. Finally, he reached up to flush the toilet, and sank onto his boney bottom, letting his legs fall out from under him. He was breathing heavily, gasping for breath. He knew he was done. At least for now. His stomach growled in desire and he whimpered once, tears threatening at the corners of his eyes.

Sonic looked up at the white sink above his head. He reached his arms up, listening to them cracking, to grab a hold of the sink. With much difficulty, he pulled himself up, hands trembling, legs wobbling, eyesight minimal. He stumbled out of the bathroom on pure faith, swatting at the light switch until it went off.

As the noise of the bathroom fan ceased and silence greeted the corridor, Sonic realized that he was picking up a faint sound.

Not all was silent, as he'd thought.

It was coming from Shadow's room. But it sounded like… Sonic, his curiosity most likely the death of him, pricked his ears and listened hard. With his body in such terrible shape, his ears could not go wrong. Suddenly, his paranoia and fear of Shadow were wiped away by heroic concern.

Sonic the Hedgehog could not turn a deaf ear to a sign of trouble. Not ever. Even if this cry for help was from an enemy.

"But…Shadow's not my enemy," Sonic mumbled to himself before offering his body to the wind as a sacrifice and hurrying off to see what's what.

He burst through the door, only to be struck by lightning.

There, amongst the tussled covers of creamy white, Shadow lay crying, his face in the pillow. His sobs were deafening, even more than usual to the sensitive-eared hedgie, and Sonic raised his hands to cover his ears at the noise. However, he stopped midway. "Shadow?" He rasped in a voice that had not said his love's name in forever. "Shadow?"

The black hedgehog lifted his face. It was tear-stained and horrid, his eyes as red as the streaks in his fur. Sonic cringed upon seeing it, and Shadow looked embarrassed that he was seeing it. But, Shadow had no time for apologies or to react to comfort his boyfriend.

Sonic was gone.

"Sonic!" Shadow called. The tornado in the hallway halted by the banister. Sonic was clutching his chest, gasping for breath. His whole body heaved from the extremeness of his tire, and he finally sank to his knees, to his ass. He held his feet with his hands childishly, watching his toes wriggle in the dark.

"Why?" Sonic began, his voice on the brink of sobbing itself into silence, "Why were you crying, Shadow?"

The dark hedgehog leaned against the door to his bedroom, unmoving. "Ummm…"

"_Answer me_!" Sonic snapped suddenly, bitterly.

Shadow jumped. "I, uh…I was crying because—eh—because…"

"Beeecause why?" Sonic was back to being childish, his eyes still on his blue toes.

Shadow smiled weakly, but it was more a sad smile than a happy one. "Because…because you look so…in pain, Sonic." He refused to say 'skinny;' Sonic might get the wrong idea.

"I'm all right," Sonic mused dreamily.

Shadow closed his eyes, the tears coming again. "Dammit, Sonic!" He yelled, prompting the blue hedgie to look at him. "You're _not_ okay! I can see your _spine_, Sonic! YOUR. FUCKING. _Spine!_ I should _not_ be able to identify your internal organs, either!" Sobs overtook his voice at last, and he fell to his knees, crying. Sonic watched him with confusion. "Sonic!" He sobbed. "Come back to me! Oh, _do_ come back!"

Sonic stood, unable to stay here any longer. He walked away and closed the door on Shadow. He was frightened. No way Shadow should think him so bad how he was! He didn't look so bad! After all, he'd only shed a couple pounds! There was no need to worry! Shadow was certainly displeased with this body. No need. No need at all to worry.

He turned on the lights, laughing to himself.

And that's when he set eyes on the mirror.

_Skin everywhere was stretched tight against his bones, his fur so dull it barely had enough strength to grow anymore. His eyes were popping out of his skull and his arms lay lifeless by his side, useless sleeves. His legs were trembling, and his feet ached to stand on._

"No," Sonic lifted his hand to the mirror. The creature standing there did the same, mirroring his worried look. "No!" Sonic punched the mirror, but came away more hurt than the skeleton looking at him. Those eyes…about to pop out of his head. Suddenly, aches and pains—especially in his feet—began to plague him.

Sonic cried.

He cried because it hurt. He cried because that horrible dream he'd had so long ago had come true. He cried because of how bad he looked.

And he also cried because this, _this_, is what Shadow saw. _This_ is what had made Shadow cry.

And it was all his fault.

"All my fault…" Sonic watched the ghost's mouth move along with his, tears falling from his emerald eyes as free as the wind.

_This is an emergency_

_So are you listening?_

Sonic fell to his knees, his forehead pressed against the cool, reflective surface. "No," he decided. "No more!" He lifted his head and looked into his suffering eyes. "I _will_ eat," he resolved, "I _will_ stop hurting the one I love, and who loves me."

_And I can't pretend that I don't see this_

"Yes." Sonic nodded. "It's a promise." And he mentally shook hands on it with this version of himself…

That he vowed he would never see again.

_LYRIX_

_Emergency-Paramore_

_Yeah…good, good, good. _


	47. Full Moon Phase

**Full Moon Phase**

_Getting better all the time,_

_I lend a hand to this ageless rhyme_

_Of the coming and going times,_

_Of the times that change our lives._

_Getting better all the time,_

_I sing a tune for this ancient rhyme._

_A sacrifice so willingly made_

_Like calices on fingers from making music._

_Yes. I will play._


	48. It's Over

**It's Over**

_Haha does this make you think it's the end? :P_

Shadow was neither shocked nor surprised that Sonic had shut the door on him. As it was, he was trying to regain his breaths, to stop crying, and to get over himself. "I am the Ultimate Lifeform," he scolded himself as he busied himself fixing his covers, "I must not cry. I'm too good for that. I must not cry. I must not cry." But the thought of his love in so much pain—under his own roof, no less—made him sad. And this sadness was overwhelming enough to make him…cry.

Shadow was about to give himself to tears again when he felt eyes watching him. And these eyes were green, but they were not Jack's.

He turned to the door and saw Sonic standing there, looking thin as ever. Now, his fur did cover up most of the bones and other such unpleasantries, but Shadow could certainly see where there was a dip in his belly where there was nothing at all but organs. No fat. Just bone.

Sonic hadn't eaten a full and proper meal since his binge. Shadow wondered if he was starving. Sonic looked shy in the doorway, one arm hugging the other, his eyes unable to keep focused.

"Shadow?" The voice came small and hoarse.

The dark hedgehog, trying to deny in his own head the fact he'd cried, sounded indifferent. "What?" It wasn't nasty—he just didn't care anymore.

"My…my room's too cold." Sonic flushed, embarrassed.

"That's it?" Shadow asked. Sonic nodded. "All right, then. I guess you can sleep with me. But you'd be warmer if you ate something, you know?" He pulled back the covers and got underneath them himself. "Coming?"

Sonic, his body shivering and trembling, walked slowly towards the bed and got in, pulling the covers up to his lips and not allowing any body part but his head to be outside of the covers. "Right. That's…kinda what I wanted to tell you about, Shads."

"Oh?" Shadow lay on his side in the bed, his head supported by one elbow. Sonic probably would've giggled, had he been looking, because this was a pose Shadow had taken out of _his_ book.

"Yes. I, uh," Sonic closed his eyes in the dark. He was so tired, he could barely keep his eyes half open. He yawned, his jaw cracking. He wanted to get this out before he fell asleep. "I…I'm going to eat, Shadow. I—"

But he was cut off because Shadow had thrown his whole bodyweight at Sonic in a glomp. Shadow nuzzled his face into the thick, fluffy tan chest fur and giggled madly with glee. "Oh, Sonic!" He cried. "That's _wonderful_! I'm _so_ glad! Oh!" He kissed Sonic's cheeks repeatedly like a happy puppy, his rodent tail wagging to such an extreme that for a moment, Sonic thought the friction would cause a flame on the sheets.

Sonic coughed, trying to breathe in Shadow's tight grasp. "Yeah, uh…but to eat, I need to breathe, first. And you're hurting me."

Shadow flushed and backed off. "Right. Sorry." He looked at his fingers while Sonic caught his breath, rubbing his hands over his ribs to still the pain. "I'm just so incredibly happy. You have no idea…"

"I can guess," Sonic responded lightly, shifting positions with an 'ow,' "Your…overzealous greeting…gave you away, there."

"Sorry," Shadow apologized again, covering his eyes with his fingers. _Stupidstupid__**Stupid**__!_

"Don't mind. I'm all right," Sonic coughed again, and settled permanently under the covers. "But don't get over-excited," he warned sternly, hard to take seriously because he looked so small and innocent. His cheekbones were prominent on his face, his muzzle thinner and narrower not by design. "I'm not ready to feast yet. I'm going to start small, because I honestly don't feel like turning my stomach inside-out again. It's not fun, and my throat can't take it any longer." His throat, which he touched with his hand at this, was only vertebrae. Shadow shivered, watching him in the dark. "Do you get it?" Sonic asked finally, yawning again with tire. "I'm not going to eat a lot until I'm certain I can. I've still got refeeding syndrome, and I'm certain I'll feel nauseous having food in me after so long. But—_ohhhh_…" he moaned like a sorrowful ghost, giving Shadow the shivers, "it'll feel _so_ good! Ahh," another yawn passed his lips, and this time Shadow joined him.

Suddenly, Shadow had a thought. "Sonic?"

"Hmmm?" Sonic had already settled down for bed, his nose barely visible above the covers, his eyes closed in sweet bliss.

"Umm…I know this'll sound weird, but…" Shadow cleared his throat, "do you, I mean—aren't you afraid of…dying?"

Sonic chuckled. "In my sleep? No, no. Do you think I will?" He sighed wearily because in another moment, his stomach growled ferociously, and his body began to shiver. Shadow drew close to provide warmth, but Sonic stopped him with a hand. "It's not cold that makes me shiver," he explained. "My tummy's…I'm eating…uhhh…I'm eating—myself—up, inside out."

"Poor, poor thing," Shadow cooed, drawing near anyway. "So hungry, you have to eat yourself! Would you like something to eat now?"

Sonic licked his lips in faint desire. "Yes, but…but I don't have the strength. I'm much too weak."

"I understand," Shadow kissed Sonic's neck, sending delighted shivers down Sonic's spine. "Sleep well, my love."

"I'll try, my love. Good night." Sonic yawned again and settled down to try and sleep. Shadow lay there in the dark, cuddling the boney hedgie, until he himself succumbed to worthy slumber.

_So needless to say_

_I'm odds and ends _

_But that's me stumbling away _

_Slowly learning that life is OK. _

_Say after me_

_It's no better to be safe than sorry_

_LYRIX are obviously_

_Take On Me by Ah-Ha._

_Feel like I've used those before…_

_Anyway…tootle-loo!_


	49. Sweets Mountain

**Sweets Mountain**

The sky was pink, the clouds like cotton candy in blues and soft, bright pinks to distinguish them from the sherbet-colored sky.

He was standing on a graham cracker square, brown like the sand, and looking out over the world before him, hazy and bright, smelling of a bakery.

There were giant cakes and hamburgers looming in the distance, and off along the graham cracker path, donuts swung like pendulums and giant towers of gelatin wobbled and swayed, as if animated with life. There was even a giant sundae behind him, topped generously with gallons of hot fudge, candy pieces, nuts, and sprinkles. A pond of icing sat with chocolate ducks riding the gentle waves, and a honey river of bright gold carried white chocolate coy fish.

Sonic stared, and even as he stared, a mountain made of chilidogs loomed in the distance. They smelled real enough to eat. In response to all the sweets and foods around him, Sonic's belly rumbled noisily and he covered it with his hands, his mouth watering.

"What an odd world this is!"

The voice that he knew caused Sonic to glance up. A figure was walking towards him, slowly coming into focus. It was Eggman! The dead mad scientist did not look sick. In fact, he looked rather like he did in life, only slimmed down considerably.

"I had expected you to be fat amongst all this!" Sonic joked easily, waving his hand around the world.

"I should say the same of you." Eggman was now close enough so that he could pull up an armchair made of jello. He sat in it, as comfortable as he'd ever looked.

"Touché," Sonic muttered grudgingly, looking in wonder once again at the massive world of sweets around him that he couldn't eat.

"So, how are you?" Eggman asked after a bout of silence.

Sonic shrugged. "Can't complain. Except of hunger." He sighed. "I'm weak. I don't like feeling weak."

"I suppose you haven't looked into my final wishes, yet?"

Sonic's ears drooped. "No. I haven't. I'm sorry. I feel awful about it…"

"Never mind. There aren't many toxins there, and my robots can wait."

Sonic nodded. "I'll probably hand them over to Tails. I'm no mechanic."

Eggman grinned. "You can destroy a robot better than Tails could ever build one."

Sonic, not catching what maybe was an insult, fell upon his bottom on the graham cracker. He thrust his head back and looked into the cotton candy clouds, trying to make sense of things, his stomach rumbling distastefully as he longed to eat what was out of reach. "So, why are you here, Eggman?"

The Doctor sighed. "Death is a funny thing, Hedgehog. It takes us all by surprise."

"And?"

"Sonic!" The Doctor growled suddenly, causing the blue hedgie to gaze at him, his eyes hazy. "I have been given a task which, in life, I would've loathed!"

Sonic crossed his legs and put his chin in his hands.

Eggman calmed down and steepled his fingers. "Sonic, I was put in charge of pushing you back from the edge of death. I am responsible for all the mornings, afternoons, and nights you woke up alive after a sleep. While you have lived with Shadow, I have guarded your soul. Sonic, as odd as it may seem, I don't want to see you until the time is right."

Sonic shivered at this, for he knew Eggman talked if death. Then, he did a double-take. "Say _what_? So you're my _spirit guide_?"

Eggman chuckled. "Spirit guide. Guardian angel. Depending on the religion, or lack thereof, we are called many different names. But, yes." He smiled. "I am your 'spirit guide,' as you call it."

"No way…" Sonic was dumbfounded. "Talk about a plot twist!"

Eggman laughed. "I feel the same way. Especially when I first found out. I was adamant that I had to be assigned to guard your life. Night after night, I stood on the brink, that thin as a string line between life and death. When you stepped on the line and toppled over towards death, I pushed you back—quite by force. Even your spirit is strong—to life. Of course, your spirit was so exhilarated to be chosen to live. I began to feel an affection for it, skinny little thing that it is."

"My spirit is thin?"

"Aren't you?" Eggman peered over the glasses, his eyes an indiscernible color.

Sonic rubbed his ribs as he breathed. "Yes."

"Well, then."

There was a long silence. Then, Sonic stood up. His head swam, and the world wobbled around him. Presently, a warm presence touched him. Sonic's vision became clear, and he looked up to find his former nemesis towering over him, looking bravely at the world ahead, with his big hand on Sonic's bony shoulder.

Sonic leaned his head towards his spirit guide, amazed at the warmth there. "Are you…going to be here forever?"

Eggman chuckled. "As you need me. Yes, I will."

They stared off into the distance filled with sweets and fast food galore. Sonic looked up once again at the spirit of his former nemesis, realizing he had him to thank for his life.

He smiled warmly, and looked off once again into the distance. "Thank you, Eggman."

_Let me know if you make fun of this/draw this on deviantArt. I WANT LINKS!_


	50. Oh Me!

**Oh, Me!**

_Relax, I ain't going back to that now _

_All I'm tryna say is get back, click-clack BLAOW _

_Cause I ain't playin' around _

_There's a game called circle and I don't know how _

_I'm way too up to back down_

_~Eminem-Not Afraid_

_Yeah…never heard that song before. Good lyrics, though! Wouldn't you agree? ;)_

Shadow got up long before Sonic. The blue hedgie was still shivering beside him, curled up under the covers like a baby. Shadow kissed his love's cheek, letting him sleep.

He would wake up to the surprise of his life.

Shadow put on his shoes and socks. He ran a comb through his fur, brushed his teeth, and did his toilet. While he was standing at the sink, gargling with saltwater (it was a habit of his—for luck, or otherwise,) he was jumped by none other than his blue lover, who had hooked his legs around his hips and grabbed his neck.

Shadow sputtered, swallowing and spewing saltwater at the same time, before he caught himself from the surprise. "Dammit, Sonic!" He shouted, but playfully. "You scared the _shit_ outta me!"

"Ha ha!" Sonic laughed. "Nice try, but you already went to the bathroom!"

"Eww, gross," Shadow scolded.

"Thanks, I know." Sonic dug his chin into Shadow's shoulder, the dark hedgehog watching in the mirror. Sonic appeared to be well-rested. And if he wasn't, he hid it well. "So…you had a plan to make me breakfast, right?"

Shadow nodded. "Yes. I was going to make you pancakes."

"Mmmm," Sonic licked his lips, accidentally touching Shadow's neck with his tongue, making Shadow shiver in delight. "Sounds good. My tummy rumbling. But hey, you know what's even better?" He grinned.

"What?" Shadow asked, smiling.

"Ice cream!" Sonic giggled.

Shadow frowned. "Ice cream? That's not a breakfast food."

"So?" Sonic finally got down off of Shadow's back and pushed him aside to do his own teeth brushing. "I can have whatevah I want…right?"

Shadow huffed. "Yes. Well, I guess I'll go down and make it. What do you want on it?"

Sonic spit and thought a minute. "Uhhh…whatever kind of ice cream we have, I don't care. And oreos…lots and lots of oreos…and caramel sauce and hot fudge sauce and chocolate chips and mini marshmallows and cherries—oh, oh! And candy corn!"

"That all?" Shadow asked, making mental notes.

"Baked apples," Sonic added.

"Got it." Shadow answered, grinning. "It'll be ready for you in no time flat!"

"Thanks, Shadow," Sonic answered in gratitude.

"You're welcome," And Shadow dared to lean forward and plant a kiss on Sonic's cheek. To the dark one's surprise, Sonic giggled, flushing in response.

Shadow, filled with anticipation, went downstairs to make the sundae Sonic had requested.

_Jubilee _

_We made days merry_

_Let off steam _

_And ourselves go _

When Sonic came downstairs, Shadow was just finishing up the preparations. "Sorry," he apologized, turning around to give Sonic the sundae, piled high with everything he desired, "I didn't have time to bake the apples."

Sonic laughed, swinging into a seat at the kitchen table. "No, I noticed. You weren't too busy, however, to dump sugar into it."

"Come again?" Shadow began to sweat, nervous at being found out. He _had_ put a small dosage of pure sugar into the sundae, but had hoped it would blend with the cookie dough ice cream.

Sonic pointed proudly. "It's a different texture than ice cream, Shads. Hide it better next time." And with that, he dove his spoon into the ice cream and produced a huge bite.

Shadow heaved a sigh of relief. "You like it."

Sonic nodded, and Shadow noted how quickly the sundae had disappeared. It was almost gone! "Sure I like it!" But he shivered a little, even then. "Besides, I'm too hungry to wait for something else!" He polished off the remainder of his ice cream feast and laid back. "Ahhh…It's cold as anything, but…_so_ good. You have no idea."

Shadow smirked, seeing his love finally content, if but for the moment. "I'm glad you like it. Would you care for anything else?"

"A hot drink, perhaps," Sonic responded quickly, cautiously. "I'm feeling…weird…now, and I fear food."

"Of course." Shadow faithfully whipped up some hot chocolate for his love, trying not to think about Sonic being done eating for the day. Of course, his fetish wanted to see Sonic eat more, go farther. But Shadow had logic left in him, and sense, too. And this part of him reminded him that Sonic was still ill, and needed rest above all else.

There was silence in the kitchen. Sonic slowly rose and draped himself over Shadow. The dark hedgehog, surprised and elated at the attention, hugged back. Sonic wasn't even close to being warm, from a meal or otherwise, and he was shivering—probably due to his sweet treat.

"What do you have in mind for your next meal?" Shadow asked at length as Sonic swiped the hot chocolate before Shadow could add anything to it.

Sonic held the white mug in both hands and took a sip, shivering from the heat of it. "Mmmm…candy. Anything sweet. And soft." He licked his lips. "Pudding, ice cream…"

"Cake?" Shadow asked.

Sonic bit his lip. "Not yet. Pudding and ice cream I can handle. Soft candies, like candy corn, I can handle. Oreos, even, I can handle. Dunno if I can push it much farther yet." He frowned. Shadow kissed him.

"S'okay. Take your time."

"Sorry to disappoint!" Sonic smiled apologetically, shrugging. Shadow guffawed.

"You're not sorry."

"You're right." Sonic conceded, laughing also. "I'm about as repentant as an engorged snake!"

Shadow laughed on, not quite sure what Sonic meant.

However, Sonic would soon look like an engorged snake.

All in good time. All in good time.

_This river of unmeasurable deepness _

_that I should cross_

_If I were _

_to use _

_someone's help _

_to pull me up_

_and laugh for me_

_without caring about my wet body_

_Let it always_

_be you._

_It's only you, isn't it?_

_-Hasu by Yuu_

_LOOKING FOR ARTISTS! PM me if you're interested! (It doesn't have to only be this story)_


	51. Staying and Going

**Staying and Going**

"Ugh, death metal," Sonic complained, sliding into the seat of Shadow's midnight black custom car.

"Ugh, your speed," Shadow egged him, leaning over to peck him on the cheek.

Sonic accepted it with a smile. "Seriously, though. How did we fall in love when we have such different tastes in music?" As Shadow revved the engine to take the car speeding down the road, Sonic changed the radio station, mid-scream from the death metal artist Shadow had been listening to. The song was an old-time rock, with smooth beats and deep bass.

Shadow chuckled. "I dunno."

"And since _when_ do you steal my lingo?" Sonic pushed Shadow with both hands playfully.

"Since I kiss your lips, love." Shadow retorted, laughing.

Sonic snorted. "Pffft, yeah right. As if my language just rolls into your mouth when we tongue-wrestle."

"It totally does. Speaking of tongue wrestling," Shadow flushed pink as a rose, "we haven't done that in a while…"

"Easy, easy," Sonic cautioned. "I love you too, babe, but the last time our tongues danced, you nearly crushed my pelvis! Nuh-uh, _noooo_ way. That hurt." He frowned, staring out the window a moment, his hands clasped near his waist as if to protect himself.

Shadow bowed his head sheepishly. "I'm real sorry, Sonic." His ears flattened as he swerved into the crazy grocery store parking lot.

"No worries," Sonic chuckled, "just tryin to explain why we can't kiss intensely."

"Mm, you need a little fat first," Shadow reached over to tickle Sonic while he looked for a perfect spot. "You're _wayyy_ too skinny."

"Hey, I had breakfast, didn't I?" Sonic crossed his arms over his chest and turned up his nose in false injury.

"Darlin, oreos and milk hardly counts as 'breakfast'."

"Shut yer trap."

Shadow pulled into a space. "Voila, we've arrived."

Sonic, dressed in a warm hooded sweatshirt, put both hands up to shade his eyes as he dramatically peered forward. "Great space, Shads! We're effectively ten miles away from the store."

"Oh, stop. We are not." Shadow, slipping into a jacket, pointed out.

"Tis an ex press_ion_." Sonic placed a hand dramatically over his heart, tossing his head like an actor in a play. "Now, are we going shopping, or what?"

"Or what," Shadow came to Sonic's side of the car and took his hand. "Did you have something in mind?"

Sonic swallowed, but forced himself to keep eye contact with his boyfriend, searching the dark hedgehog's features. Lust. Now more than ever. Sonic closed his eyes a moment and let his spirit drift away from physical existence. No way was he going to go back to being half-dead. He was going to keep eating and keep living. Because no matter how misguided Shadow was, Sonic knew that ebony loved him.

When he opened his eyes, he tugged his hand away from Shadow and went skipping down ahead. He turned back, the wind blowing his quills out behind him. "C'mon!" He giggled. "Let's do this!"

Shadow shook his head, a serene smile on his face. He jogged to catch up with his boyfriend and then, hand in hand, the two started shopping.

_The warmth won't escape anyways_

_Before the morning_

_There is still enough time left_

_So just give me five more minutes_

_Nope, please give me ten more minutes._

"So, Sonic," Shadow leaned his elbows on the cart as Sonic looked around in awe at the largest grocery store he'd ever seen, "Where are you drawn to?"

"_Oh_…" Sonic was still dazed by the size of this place. There were so many people, so many signs, so many choices of produce and drinks and meats…and that was only what he could see from where he stood gawking. Who knew what lay beyond the crowds of people, lining the numerous aisles. "Uhm…I think we're out of dog food."

Shadow's heart sank. Sonic was thinking more about the pets than he was about himself. _But isn't that like him, though? To be selfless_. Shadow steered the cart towards the pet food section reluctantly while Sonic trotted close behind, wide-eyed. "I wish we could take Jamie," Sonic went on as he selected the brand of food she liked. "But I think she'd be too scared. _I'm_ a bit nervous myself! Look at me!" He held his arms out. Indeed, they were trembling, and not from eating himself up this time!

But Shadow, sulking, paid no attention. "I meant _you_," he spat, "not the dumb dog. _You_, Sonic! What do _you_ crave?"

Sonic listened to Shadow's rebuke, a bit offended that Shadow didn't seem to care for the dog. _Maybe he's in a bad mood cause I rejected him?_ Sonic grinned, moving behind Shadow leaning on the cart and draping himself over him. He felt Shadow grow hot and moved his hands down to massage his boyfriend's tummy. "S'okay, Shadow. I know you're upset. We'll do it soon, everything, and you can claim me as yours, boy." He pecked Shadow's cheek, which sent shivers all the way Shadow's groin. "Don't get hard, baby. There isn't a thing you can hide behind." Sonic whispered, his warm breath caressing Shadow's ear.

Shadow jumped, seeing Sonic at the front of the cart. He was beginning to seriously doubt Sonic had actually massaged his belly at all just now, though he did feel calmer. The blue hedgehog was thinking. "Hmmm…we're running out of ice cream, I think. But sometimes, ice cream is too cold," They were walking to the ice cream as he said this. Shadow selected a few flavors and Sonic picked some toppings. "I need something that can be warm, but is still soft." He looked at a jar of homemade hot fudge and licked his lips. "I wouldn't mind eating a bit of _this_ straight, after its been warmed." He sighed, placing it in the cart. They moved on. "I think…maybe…" They were in the pudding isle now, and Sonic grabbed a few packages of chocolate pudding. Shadow added some packages of vanilla and mint. Sonic giggled, adding lemon. "Pudding will be good and easy. Maybe applesauce? And we must be out of sugar, considering how much you put in my food."

Shadow scratched behind his head and shuffled his feet. "A-heheheh…yeah."

"Soooo…" Sonic snatched the cart from Shadow and proceeded to jog with it down the aisle. "See if you can keep up with me, you slow-mo!"

Shadow rolled his eyes and pursued. "You'd better watch out, Sonic! Cause here I come!"

_:D :D FLUFF! Who likes it?_


	52. And I'm Sorry

**And I'm Sorry**

_I'm sorry, so sorry_

_I'm sorry, it's like this._

_-They by Jem_

"I can't believe myself, Es. I can't believe I did that to him. I feel like an idiot."

The purple chameleon moved from his still stance against the screen door. It had long ago been repaired, but it was still obvious it had been slightly, if not severely, battered. "Why don't you just _tell him_, then, instead of me? I've heard it a million and five times, now."

"Is that an approximation?"

"I've lost count."

"Es," The red echidna sighed, burying his face in his mitts, "the restraining order forbids me from getting within ten feet of Sonic. You know that."

"Knux," Espio placed his hand on the window, watching it slide down the pane. "I _do_ know that. But it never said anything about phone calls."

"Pfft!" Knuckles slammed on the table with both hands, causing it to creak under the force. "You know what he'd do, right when he realizes it's me?" He snorted. "Click!" His face went into his mitt again.

"Well…" Espio traced his fingers over his scaly skin. "Do you really think Sonic will enact the order? I mean, you didn't have to go to court beyond the acceptance of the thing, right? So he's not pressing charges."

"Oh, _Sonic's_ not pressing charges," Knuckles scoffed, "he's as soft as a pat of butter. Kid just wants to eat and be done with it. Sonic's like that. It's not Sonic I'm worried about."

Espio snorted and turned around, leaning heavily on the door as he crossed his arms at his chest. "And what's my Knuckie afraid of, then? Hmmm?"

Knuckles crumpled up the pink restraining order slip for the fiftieth time in the past half-hour. "Shadow," he growled, grinding his teeth together. "_Shadow_ won't hesitate to call the cops on me if I do so much as step foot in their backyard. _He_ holds a grudge."

Espio grit his teeth, now seeing how his boyfriend was caught. "Oh."

" 'Oh' is right, Es." Knuckles grumbled. "What'm I gonna do?"

"Look, Knux," Espio pushed himself off the door and strode to his boyfriend's side, a helpful hand on his shoulder. "I know you just want to apologize to him, but the fact is, he may not be ready to listen. It's just too soon."

Knuckles groaned and looked up at his purple lizard boy-toy. "Maybe you're right, Es."

"I _am_ right," asserted the ninja, "and you know it, dumbass." Knuckles snorted at that. "But the fact stands: I want his stuff _out_."

"Demanding, are we?" Knux reached out and pulled Espio's body close to him, nibbling on his waist. "Well, sorry, m'love, but if I can't go to Shads' house, then Sonic's stuff has gotta stay."

Espio growled in his throat. He didn't like the thought of that. Sonic's stuff smelled like cum and blood, and he detested it. Especially the fact that the smell of cum was both Sonic's…and Knuckles'. That was the part he hated, he thought—the fact that, regardless of Knux's behavior toward Sonic—it stood to reason Knuckles had loved Sonic _first_, no matter how demented that love became later.

Did Espio fear for his own life? Did he think Knuckles would turn into an abusive partner? No. Why? Because Knuckles had been dry since his court case, and they had sworn that, were he ever to drink again, they would drink together. That, Espio thought, would avoid problems.

And, most likely, it would. Knuckles laid no ground rules for Espio to follow, and the chameleon's complaints were minimal. Sonic's socks, gloves, and one of his beloved guitars being up here on Angel Island…? _That_ ticked him off.

"No way," Espio hissed, not allowing himself to succumb to Knuckles' seduction technique, though it was stimulating him slightly. "We're getting Sonic's crap off the Island. _Now_. This is _our_ lovemaking haven." Espio was very nearly pleading now. "And I hate the way it smells like he just came, Knux."

The red echidna heaved a sigh. "All right. _You_ go talk to Sonic. Leave me the fuck out of it, Es. I don't wanna go to jail."

Espio grinned. "You won't even be mentioned, love."

_It's funny to me how you've turned into such a joke..._

_-False Pretense by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus._

_Last chapter, there were some lyrics from Home Movies by Squonk Opera._

_Hope you're enjoying this!_


	53. Mean

**Mean**

_But you can't say sorry_

_The sorry's stuck in your throat._

_But you can't say sorry_

_Just to float my boat._

_I want you to say it, say it til it's written on your heart._

_I want no crap, I only crave_

_Your remorse._

_Do it, hint at it,_

_Do it all you want._

_I won't settle for anything less_

_Than your bleeding heart._

_-Sylvie_

"Are you _certain_ you can survive here all by yourself?" Shadow asked seriously, straightening his tie hastily in front of the mirror while Sonic fixed the collar of his jacket.

"Is the sky blue?" Sonic asked with a laugh. "Dun worry, Shads. The fridge is stocked to bursting, I'm gonna try a bit of that cake you got…don't be surprised if it's gone. I'm _starvin_!"

Shadow rolled his eyes, but was elated to see Sonic in good spirits. "The sky _is_ blue. Are you _sure_, now?"

"As sure as I can run!" Sonic kissed Shadow's cheek with a flourish of ballet steps and then danced away to flop into the couch. "Buh-bye now." He smirked adorably. Jamie stood up on her hind legs to get at him and he lifted her into his lap.

"Oh, very well," Shadow conceded. "Jack's out back. I'll see you later." He went out the door.

Sonic waited, holding Jamie in his arms, until he heard the car pulling away. He let Jamie down and sighed, getting up. "Hungry, Jamie?" The puppy yipped at him, as if she meant this to be a response. "C'mon, I'll fix you some food."

"Ruff!" Jamie replied, wagging her tail and climbing all over her master's feet. She'd become the end of a mop in the three or four-some months since they'd gotten her. But both Sonic and Shadow liked the little dog's scruffy look.

Sonic put her food bowl down and washed his hands. He was about to look into a snack for himself when Jamie was up and growling at the door. Someone was here.

"Maybe Shads forgot a paper, or something." Sonic shrugged, walking to the door. "He's _so_ disorganized." But as he answered the door, he almost had a heart attack.

Standing on the doorstep was Espio the Chameleon.

_You, with your words like knives, and swords and weapons that you use _

_against me,_

_You, have knocked me off my feet again, got me feeling like nothing,_

_You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard calling me out when I'm _

_Wounded._

Sonic stepped back, a little shocked. "Espio," he welcomed coldly, "to what do I owe this surprise visit?"

Espio smiled faintly. "What? I can't say hi?"

Sonic bit back and swallowed down a 'no,' but in his throat there lingered a bitter growl of hate. "C'mon in," he invited, turning away from the door and lifting Jamie into his arms again, comforting her. "Shh, it's okay. No one to bark at." He soothed, but all the while not meaning it. He was proud that Jamie still looked with distaste at their visitor when he set her down again. She circled Espio like a feeding shark, obviously not very trusting.

"Wow," Espio mused, noting the chessboard kitchen and the fancy silver table. "Nice place you got here. Shadow's a design master!"

"Rouge helped, I think," Sonic replied, digging in his refrigerator now. He didn't really care that Espio was here, or that he was now dating Knuckles, but there was tension, as well as relief, between them.

_All you're ever gonna be is mean._

"Ah! I see her touches, here and there."

"Do you?" Sonic leaned on the counter, the triple chocolate cake behind him tempting him, making his mouth water. "I couldn't tell at first—wasn't until Shadow told me, that I realized. Guess I should've seen it all along, huh?"

"Yeah. She was good friends with Shadow."

"Still is, man." Sonic turned his attention to cutting the cake. There was a silence. "She's dating her brother now."

"Oh, Voleur? He's a nice guy."

"Yeah. He is." Sonic didn't know Voleur personally, and so took this information for granted. _Stupid ninja_.

The silence reigned again. Espio sat at the table and twiddled his thumbs uncomfortably. "So…how are you these days?"

"Hungry," Sonic snorted.

"He's really very sorry, you know."

"And well he should be, Es. A 'sorry' can't cover everything." Sonic glared into the chameleon's inner soul, and Espio looked at Sonic's suffering form.

"Go easy on him, Sonic. This isn't easy for him."

Sonic humphed. "Laughable, laughable. How are you?"

"Fine." Espio was glaringly aware that, even for Sonic being Sonic, blue was frightfully too skinny, while he himself had run to plumpness and lost his ninja edge, since the dawn of the relationship.

Sonic was looking at Espio out of the corner of his eye, these sharp and glaring like a predator's, defined and alive with a dark, well…jealousy! Espio was not fat, surely no, but there was a belly to speak of upon him, and the way he was sitting made it stick out. A sort of rage built up within Sonic, but he kept it back. After all, he was above jealousy, wasn't he?

Sonic had cut himself a generous slice of cake and, without offering any to Espio, forked a large bit and ate, making a point to be loud and rude about it. Espio paid no attention.

"How's Knuckles?" Sonic asked at length, for the sake of conversing.

"He is well. He mourns over what he did to you. Day and night."

"Oh for heaven's—he's got you, hasn't he?"

Espio laughed. "I know, right? He's got _everything_ he needs and he _still_ mopes over you! Ridiculous!"

Sonic laughed too, uneasily. It was weird, to have his ex's boyfriend in his boyfriend's house (he reminded himself he wasn't paying shit for this house he lived in, nor anything else in it), laughing. He felt it was wrong, somehow, to have this boy laughing in Shadow's kitchen.

"What do you want here, Es?" Sonic asked abruptly, making Espio choke on his laughter.

Espio sighed. "Okay. I won't lie to you. Sonic, some of your stuff is still on Angel Island, and I don't like it. I want you to take all your stuff back."

"Fine," Sonic replied bitterly, discarding the empty plate and staring at the fork in his hand. "But I'm not going to Angel Island. If you bring it down here, we'll call it a day."

"Done." Espio rose and extended his hand to shake.

_Why you gotta be so mean?_

Sonic extended his free hand and they shook on it. Then Espio disappeared into thin air. A moment later, the back door opened and Jack rushed into the kitchen. Sonic held the fork in his mouth as he fixed Jack's breakfast. Then, he took the cake platter with him into the living room and sat with it in his lap.

It was in this way that he finished the entire cake, without leaving a single crumb for anyone.

_And I can see you years from now in a bar talking over a football game,_

_With that same big loud opinion but nobody's listening,_

_Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things,_

_Drunk and rumbling on about how I can't sing,_

_But all you are is mean._

LYRIKS ARE

Mean by Taylor Swift

_Whoa! TWO new chapters within minutes of each other? That WACK, yo! :P_


	54. Apology Not Accepted

_Just to give you an idea…this is Chapter 51. So…yeah. Longest story I've written TO DATE! That's pretty cool. I'm actually almost at sixty chapters. Keep those review emails poppin!_

**Apology Not Accepted**

"Sonic! Are you okay?" Shadow asked, concerned. It was a bright, sunny day outside, but Sonic hadn't moved an inch since his breakfast of warm pudding and oreo cookies. He hadn't even changed the channels on the tv!

"Yeah, I'm fine…_ooooOooo_," Sonic moaned, which made Shadow doubt that Sonic was really okay. "I just…I hurt a little bit, that's all."

"Where?" Shadow asked, obviously still concerned and shaken.

"Oh, y'know, my neck, my arms, my chest, my legs, and my feet. The usual," Sonic was obviously trying to make light of the situation, for he laughed, but lay back, as searing pain raced through his chest like a raging fire. He hissed out, winded, but before Shadow could lean forward in concern and offer support, the doorbell rang.

Shadow looked Sonic over again and then reluctantly went to get the door. When he opened it, what he found surprised him.

"_Espio_?" He asked, stunned. "What are _you_ doing here?"

Espio was standing on the stoop with a gym bag in one hand and a guitar case in the other. Shyly, he replied: "I came to return Sonic's stuff. He knew I was coming." It was obvious to the chameleon that Shadow had not been informed, for Shadow lowered his eyebrows suspiciously.

"C'mon in," Shadow invited, guarded.

Espio stepped cautiously inside, aware that Shadow was watching his every move and studying his body for bruises and other indications of an abusive relationship. Damn the therapist! He put down the guitar case gently against the wall and put the gym bag down with a huff. "Where's Sonic?" He said at length. "Can I see him?"

Shadow didn't say anything, but turned away to walk into the other room. Espio followed tentatively.

Sonic was fast asleep on the couch, snoring in exhaustion. His head was back against the top of the couch, exposing his neck still littered with the dark marks of bruises and hickys. Espio shivered. As Sonic breathed, his ribs would show. Though it was obvious he was improving, it was also obvious it was a slow process. Shadow tenderly went to sit beside Sonic, stroking his from the top of his head to his quills lovingly and glaring at Espio as if the chameleon was the cause of all this.

And, it was quite possible that this abuse _was_ Espio's fault. At least somewhat. Espio gulped, unable to keep eye contact with the blood-eyed black racer.

Sonic suddenly snorted into being and Shadow withdrew his hand like black lightning. The blue hedgehog weakly rubbed his eyes, cringing as he did so, and looked upon his visitor. "Hey, Es," he greeted cheerfully, yawning until his jaw cracked. "Didjya bring my stuff?"

"Yeah. It's in the other room," Espio indicated with his thumb.

"Get it, please," Sonic implored. Espio obeyed without a thought.

"Oh!" Sonic cried when he returned with the guitar case. "You brought her back! I forgot I left her up on Angel Island! It's so nice to see Annie again."

By the guitar case, it was an acoustic. Espio bent to get it out, but Sonic growled so fiercely that he nearly dropped the case. There was a moment of silence, where Espio looked ashamed and placed the case down on the floor. Once he had done that, Sonic made a motion with his hand and Shadow went to the guitar case and produced Annie.

She was beautiful, with shell designed fret markers and a pretty sandy color that matched Sonic's tan chest fur. Sonic's eyes gained the glee of life as Shadow set Annie on his lap. Sonic strummed it once and set about tuning the guitar.

Shadow smiled at Sonic and then glared at Espio who ran out to get the other bags. He brought them back with a religious reverence he would've shown no other. Shadow's glare relaxed and he began to trace the back half of the guitar with his finger, drawing close in what Espio guessed to be some secret kind of romance.

"Is that all?" Sonic asked, his eyes on the beautiful guitar.

"Yes." Espio answered.

"Then the deed is done." Sonic told him, sounding very tired all of a sudden. "Now, Knuckles is yours."

Espio seemed struck by this casual handing-over of boyfriends, from the abused to the loved.

It was over. Sonic wanted nothing more to do with Knuckles, and very little to do with Espio. The chameleon bowed, as one would to a prince and disappeared into thin air.

"Sonic, I— " Shadow began, but Sonic shushed him. He kept the stance until the door had opened and closed again, and then relaxed, allowing Shadow to continue.

"Sonic," Shadow mused in a soothing voice, "do you think he returned the knife?" This hadn't been his original statement, but he'd forgotten it.

Sonic gave a tired sigh. "Probably, since he returned everything that smells like me. Ugh," he crinkled his nose. "It smells like Knuckles in here!"

"I'll go get the air freshener." Shadow got up to go but Sonic stopped him by nudging him with the guitar.

"It's more important if you go sit on my stuff, Shads. Es brought back a whole bunch of my socks and gloves, and they all smell like Knuckles."

"I can wash them, I've got a washing— "

"Shads," Sonic begged, "just do it."

So Shadow dumped out the gym bag onto the floor. It was indeed filled with several thousand pairs of socks and gloves, the only clothes Sonic owned. The black hedgehog then made himself comfortable on the pile and let his smell absorb into them. Sonic played a soft lullaby tune until it lulled him to sleep.

_I GOT A REVIEW FROM ! I feel like that's like winning the Pulitzer Prize for fanfiction writing, lol. Hope this continues to impress you all!_


	55. In Sickness and in Health

**In Sickness and in Health**

"And he's hurting all over, and I don't know what to do!" Shadow half-shouted into the phone. He was standing beside the couch where Sonic lay—where he hadn't moved from in two days—reading or pretending to read a book. He set it down now, across his knees, his eyes tired from reading. He was hungry like mad—having slept in this morning, he'd missed the window of opportunity to get served breakfast—his stomach rumbling and growling in desperate desire. He watched Shadow's worried face, straining his ears so hard to listen it made their insides warm. He had no problem picking up soft noises. Keeping himself focused was the real problem.

"It seems," Tails mused thoughtfully, "that Sonic's condition stems from muscle behavior."

"I'm not following you."

"Case in point, Sonic's experiencing the kind of pain he _should've_ felt during chronic hunger—starvation."

"You're saying his body is still in starvation mode?" Shadow panicked.

"Keep your cool, Shadow. But, yes, that's what I mean."

"But…he's eating! How can he _still_ be in starvation mode?"

_I'll believe it_, thought Sonic, his lips moistening. _I'm starving, now. What I need is a cake…oooo, with pudding in the middle. Warm, vanilla pudding…_ He whimpered softly as his stomach cramped up painfully, grumbling.

"Let me put it this way, Shadow. During his long starvation period, Sonic's body was so tense, so defensive and ready for battle, that he didn't have _time_ to hurt, see? Now that he does have time, now that he can relent his constant guard, his body's deterioration is becoming evident."

Shadow's eyes widened in horror, his breath catching painfully in his throat. "You don't mean…"

"I mean that exactly. If you can, mix protein supplements in his food. I hear he's not too fond of meat at the moment. Give him milk. Milk with the most calcium you can find. With any luck, that will rebuild his bone and muscle structure."

_He's not saying how Mai is,_ Sonic mused, his head aching. _Where's Mai? How's Mai?_ Suddenly, he cried out in pain and desperation, like a baby bird calling for food.

Shadow started, trembling so much he nearly dropped the phone.

"Was that Sonic?" Tails asked, chuckling.

"Y—yes."

"You can tell him Mai's doing fine. Amy and Cream are going to be taking her for a while, though. They have Kite."

"Okay," Shadow wasn't really listening. He was watching Sonic, whose heart was evidently racing, the gloved hands pressed over his tan chest. "Thanks."

"Bye."

Shadow hung up the phone and set it aside. "What's wrong, Sonic?"

"How's Mai?" Sonic asked, breathing evenly again.

"The damn dog's fine. Amy and Cream are taking her for a while. They've got Kite," Shadow told him grudgingly.

Sonic's eyes lit up, and suddenly Shadow wished he had more information. The green emeralds were even more dazzling when they sparkled with delight. "That's _wonderful_ news. Those two love each other so much. Now, then," and he stretched, his bones cracking. "I need food. A cake with vanilla pudding in the middle would be nice."

Shadow sighed and went into the kitchen to search his refrigerator for Sonic's desire. He felt like this house had become a bakery since Sonic's recovery. He found the cake, didn't bother cutting a slice, and crumpled a protein supplement into the icing, swirling it out of sight with his finger (ungloved, naturally). He then poured a tall glass of milk for Sonic and brought the food in to where he sat.

Sonic ate fast. Before Shadow could even register, the cake was half gone and the milk was at least a quarter gone. Sonic was licking the fork delicately and going slower now, perhaps on purpose. Shadow shivered with delight, but realized he was hungry as well.

"Go eat," Sonic giggled.

Shadow flushed and went to fix himself some bacon. The strips sizzled on the stovetop.

"So-oh," Sonic mused from the living room, "Tails says I hurt cause uh bone and muscle deterioration?"

"You were listening?"

"Yup!"

Shadow smiled, shaking his head. "Yes, that is what Tails said. You're not concerned?"

Sonic laughed aloud, a musical sound. "Why should I worry? I got you to take care of me. Better than a hospice, I should say." He itched his nose with pride. "I don't hurt a lot today. It's mostly my feet and legs."

"Now _that_ may be muscles building."

"Nahhm, they're _tired_." Sonic devoured the rest of the cake and gulped down the milk. He felt so much better with something in his stomach that he wanted more. "Hey, you wanna toss me that bag of m&ms we got?"

Shadow tossed him the bag of peanut m&ms and went out to join him with his own breakfast—twelve strips of bacon. Sonic began to chow down on the m&ms swiftly, smiling all the while.

"I'm gonna be _hungry_ today," he mused. "I can feel it."

Shadow laughed. "You certainly deserve it. You've been sick longer than anyone I know." Sick. The word wasn't enough to describe Sonic's previous condition, really, but Shadow let it slide. Sonic didn't like to think about the unpleasantries of the past.

"Yeah…" Sonic mused.

There was silence between them for a few long moments. Shadow finished eating and crossed to stoop to the level of his footstool and began to remove Sonic's shoes.

The blue hedgie shot back as ropes of pain like an electric shot hit him, and a wave of embarrassment washed over him. His legs. His _legs_! They were most important to him, more important to him then being healthy again, than kissing Shadow, than love or food itself. Having them out of commission, to Sonic, was just as useful as being legless—not useful at all. Suckish. "Ow, owowow_ow_, watch, Shads. What're you doin, anyway?" That held a hint of panic. Sonic didn't like to be without his shoes—without them, he was naked.

Shadow chuckled at his distrust. "You fear me after so long? Don't fear, they're not going anywhere." But as he removed them, one of Sonic's socks came unrolled slightly and an old piece of paper fell out. Sonic probably would've recognized it, but couldn't see from where he was. He was relaxing again, anyway—uneasily, still trying to measure Shadow's actions, his eyes skyward. Shadow, intrigued, opened the piece of paper.

He didn't quite know what he expected it to be, a diary entry lost to the ages, a key to his heart, a favorite recipe, but what he found was not anything his imagination expected.

The doodle he had called "At Last." How had Sonic found it? Regardless, Shadow was happy Sonic had kept it. He was curious to know when Sonic had found it…the doodle was crinkled and a tad bit muddy from being inside Sonic's sock, the ink fading so much one could hardly make it out. But, maybe it brought comfort to Sonic. To know that the hedgehog kept it certainly made _Shadow _happier.

He reached out and began to move his fingers over Sonic's feet. He laughed into his chest fur as he felt Sonic jump within his grasp. Sonic wasn't used to being touched on his feet, never mind getting a massage! Sonic sighed, though, so it was obvious this was helping to relax him.

Shivers went down Sonic's spine as he felt Shadow's fingers working at his tense feet. It felt as good as anything else in this world—maybe even the same comfort a belly full of chilidogs gave him. The thought of his favorite food made his stomach clench with hunger. Suddenly, he knew that, at some point today, he had to eat chilidogs.

"Wow, you're so tense, Sonic," Shadow mused, his voice as quiet as a breath.

"Mmm." Sonic _knew_ he was tense. He _felt_ tense, like a knot of muscles was forming in his legs, his feet, his chest…and wherever else it hurt. It was hard to keep track of where his hurts were concentrated. There were days when he felt he certainly _could_ move…but this wasn't one of them. "Where did you learn to massage like this, Shads?"

Shadow smiled. "Amy."

"Wow, she taught you?"

"Yes." Shadow frowned. "Did you think she would hate me so much, that she would refuse to teach me?"

Sonic scoffed. "It's not _her_ I'm wondering about." He leaned forward a bit, teasing afire in his emerald eyes. "When did my darling little shadow-on-the-wall become such a socialite?"

Shadow flushed. He _was_ truly anti-social, a sort of sociopath. But, with Sonic in trouble, he'd been encouraged, if not forced, to become sociable. "You know…"

Sonic smiled. "Either way, you're pretty good at it," Sonic replied, reclining again. "I don't even think _Amy_ is this good!"

Shadow laughed. "Oh, I doubt that."

But, he really was happy he could do some good for Sonic. Any good at all.

_O gawsh that sukd. Stalling…cause I got better stuff coming. It'll be juicy…promise :3_

_By the way, happy belated Halloween!_


	56. For the Faint of Heart

**For the Faint of Heart**

Sonic was home alone to recuperate. Shadow was at work, but since Sonic was still recovering from aching limbs, Shadow forbade him to do much, other than read and watch TV and movies. He was well–stocked with novels enough to keep five nerds occupied and a whole stack of entertaining movies. He was up making some popcorn, about to settle in for a good Sherlock Bones mystery, when the phone rang.

"Hello, Sonic!" It was Amy. "I'm surprised you haven't left yet."

"Left?" Sonic chuckled, sprinkling salt and chocolate shards all over his popcorn. "To go where? To do what?"

Amy gasped. "Didn't you hear? Cosmo was pregnant!"

"_Say what_? No, I didn't hear," Sonic bit his bottom lip. Shadow was _supposed _to keep him updated. Sonic guessed he wasn't doing his job.

Amy giggled. "Why _else_ would we take Mai? I mean, besides the fact we have Kite."

Sonic stopped fixing his popcorn. "Shadow didn't fill me in," he was growling in his throat, anger growing in him like a poisonous seed. "He said nothing has changed…how do plant girls _get_ pregnant anyway?"

"How else?" Amy laughed. "_Seeds_!"

Sonic frowned. "Makes sense."

"So, are you still recovering, or whut? We can pick you up, we're on our way there."

"No, I'll run," Sonic stretched one leg and then the other gingerly, feeling his bones crack. "I need to stretch my legs!"

"Fair enough. We'll see you soon!" Amy's voice was drowned out by a scream of pleasure—probably from Cream making the car accelerate.

"She'd better not get into a car accident," Sonic mumbled to Jack. Jamie was at the groomer's for the afternoon, so Sonic was free to run over to Tails'. "If Shads gets home," Sonic told the black and white cat, "scratch him." Then, he dashed out the door, down the street, and made his way to Tails' house, where Cosmo's babies awaited him.

_Today's your day _

_I feel it _

_You paved the way _

_Believe it _

The two seeds, a milky-white color with a faint green undertone sat side by side on the table before the proud parents. Cosmo, showing no signs of her pregnancy, and Tails standing beside her, held her hand fast in his. She leaned her green locks on his gold shoulder for a minute, watching her babies pulse inside their tiny homes.

"A bit more pushing!" She encouraged, her calming voice already a mother. "Come on! You can do it, my loves!"

Tails squeezed her hand. "I'm excited!" He admitted. "These kids will be great, no matter what."

Cosmo squeezed back, nodding her head at super speed. "They'll be fine babies."

Presently, Sonic burst in. "Did I miss it?" His chest heaved, unused to carrying his unhealthy body so far, so fast, unpracticed at it because of his aching joints. He was almost out of breath, but not quite. He was so used to being a runner. It seemed he was never _too_ out of sorts to run.

"You're just in time," Cosmo reassured him. Sonic jogged until he was beside, between, the parents, hugging them together and to himself by embracing their shoulders. He was on one side, and then the other, restless in his motions, anxious, and making Cosmo laugh at his antics.

Sonic smiled. He was happy to make her laugh. He kissed her cheek, and the cheek of his brother as well—not thinking, either because he was gay or excited. Tails teasingly whipped the kiss from his face, but as Cosmo kissed him back, Tails felt himself doing the same. Sonic looked upon Tails with love, and then back at the children. His ears, however, moved towards the door.

"Sports car," he recited accurately. "Red. Fast. Amy. Cream."

He was right. Amy and Cream burst through the door and settled in round the audience, panting and whispering to each other, greeting Sonic, all eyes fixated upon the babes, who had just begun to peel away their outer shelling.

The babies were not newborns. They could sit up already and had eyes as bright as stars. Because both Tails and Cosmo had bright, expressive, new blue eyes, it was hard to tell which baby possessed the eyes of which parent.

The babe that had emerged first was female. She sat, clothed in what appeared to be petals or bits of the inside of the seed (much like the husk on corn). She looked near-identical to her mother, only…she was golden yellow like fields of wheat. Her face was soft and round and sweet, utterly curious. Everyone 'aww'ed.

Her brother emerged second, taking after his father including two twin tails. Like his mother, his coloration was green, but for his chest and the tips of his tails—both white. He also…shared his mother buds on the top of his head, where ears would be. Everyone looked back at the girl, stunned to find she had a pair of soft, large fox ears.

Cosmo cradled her children together and Tails and everyone else would be let in to see around the outer edges. No one allowed the new parents to breathe a bit of oxygen. In that second, all eyes were on the twins, who stretched their tiny hands out towards each other, met exactly like a mirror image, and let out peals of chime-like laughter.

"They're so…_grown_!" Cream cooed.

"Cute!" Amy declared.

"What will you name them?" Cream bubbled in excitement.

Everyone stopped breathing as the new parents met eyes. Finally, Cosmo looked to her babies. "America," she indicated to the girl, "Clark," she indicated to the boy. The twins looked at their mother, then at their father. Then, they took intelligent glances at the people and world around them. They seemed to contemplate their names. America reached for her mother's short hair, and Clark stretched his tiny hand to touch Tails' tail.

"Adorable," Sonic mused. "Meri and Clark."

America, having been given a nickname, shrieked with laughter and reached excitedly for Sonic. Cosmo smiled, handing her over before she hurt herself. Meri looked up into her uncle's eyes, hers endless waves of blue.

"I love you," Sonic told her softly. Meri clung to a tuft of his fur with one hand and reached for a quill with the other. Sonic happily gave one to her. Cosmo, still smiling, spoke:

"She wanted to meet you. I could feel it in her seed. She knew you, from me, and she wanted to meet you."

"Wait…" Amy stopped tickling Clark's baby tummy. "You mean to say…that…?"

Cosmo nodded. "Yes. Unlike mammals, plant mothers are connected by internal 'roots' to our young. So not only did I nourish the children before my seeds were laid, but I also shared my thoughts, feelings, cravings, and memories with them. They know all of you, perhaps not by name, but by sight. They _know_ you, as I know you."

"Wow," Cream giggled. "That's awesome!"

Sonic hugged the little blonde girl to his chest. Meri giggled with delight, opting for a nap against her uncle's rapidly beating heart. "Yes," he sighed, "it certainly is."

_Welcome to the planet_

_Welcome to existence_

_Everyone's here_

_Everyone's here_

_Everybody's watching you now_

_Everybody waits for you now_

_What happens next?_

_What happens next?_

_LYRIX:_

_Waka Waka (This Time for Africa)- Shakira_

_Dare You to Move-Switchfoot_

_Anyone tempted to draw the twins? I sure am!_


	57. Uncommon Rage

**Uncommon Rage**

Shadow got home in the early hours of the evening. Sonic was eating what looked like the fifth bag of cheese-flavored popcorn, covered with chocolate sauce. From the sound of it, he was watching a _Sherlock Bones_ mystery. The blue light from the tv screen lit up his face as he watched. Shadow didn't bother slipping off his shoes and stood casually by the door, waiting to be recognized.

Sonic looked up at last, turning down the volume. "Hey, Shads,"

"Hi. Did you miss me?" Shadow smirked.

"A bit," Sonic stood up with little difficulty and turned off the DVD player. A blue screen instantly appeared on the television. "Why didn't you tell me Cosmo was pregnant?"

Shadow's ears drooped. "You found out…? Sonic, I—I didn't want to bother you. I—"

Sonic laughed hollowly. "She's my sister, Shads. _My sister_! It's most _definitely_ my business!"

"You don't _understand_, Sonic!" Shadow argued, but weakly. Sonic was advancing on him ever so slowly. He was smiling, but his eyes were dark and swimming with uncommon rage. "You—you were in serious! You…ah…" He backed up until his spines crushed against the wall. Sonic was over him now, touching him slightly they were so close.

In a movement Shadow himself couldn't register, Sonic had the ebony hedgehog's hands pinned against the wall. Shadow cringed at the sudden pain and looked at Sonic with curiosity and something he would never admit to.

Fear.

Sonic smiled, his eyes becoming brighter. Shadow relaxed as Sonic leaned in close. He could smell Sonic's breath—cheddar and chocolate. It was an odd combination of smells. The blue hedgehog leaned his muzzle against Shadow's and purred deeply and nasally, rubbing it as if to create warmth there. Though he had been eating, Shadow noticed, Sonic's body was irreversibly cold as ice.

"Oh, Shadow," Sonic singsonged, "don't you understand yet? I can't be tamed! I can't be told to stay put. I _can't_ have valuable information kept from me. It won't do." With Sonic's liquid chocolate voice, it took Shadow a few precious moments to realize he was getting scolded. Sonic was actually steaming mad! This thought made Shadow distrust the singsong in Sonic's beautiful, fluid voice.

It took a moment of Shadow's struggling within the grip for Sonic's eyes to get angry again. He tightened and loosened the grip in the same second. "You're scared," he mused, chuckling. "Don't be frightened. I'm not going to hurt you." As if to prove this, he captured Shadow's lips in a kiss. Shadow complied, delighted shivers running down his spine. Even within the kiss, Sonic was making a point—his tongue was dominating. When both hedgies had to breathe, they let the kiss fall. Sonic smiled, watching Shadow gain breath as he himself was hardly gasping.

"You're a fool," Sonic went on as Shadow panted against his shoulder. "You're a selfish little fool. But I love you, don't get me wrong. The fire of passion burns in my soul for you." He was tired, Shadow noticed. Only when Sonic was tired did his language become so eloquent. He saw this as his chance and pushed Sonic off him successfully. Sonic would not be pushed off, and reconnected his hands to Shadow's wrists before the minute hand on the clock could move an inch. "You're a fool," Sonic reiterated. "Selfish. You and I really _are_ opposites." He laughed, amused at this.

"Sonic," Shadow began, his voice more of a plea then he would like. "I—I love you, too. Oh, make _love_ to me!" He moaned.

Sonic smiled, but he would not obey. There was a mischievous spark in his eye—he had Shadow right where he wanted him. And Shadow's neediness had more than confirmed that. "Not yet, you little selfish ash-stained hedgie. I have yet to explain to you," he tightened his grip and moved close against Shadow again. The green eyes were determined. They may as well have been the red eyes of his familiar Super form! Shadow winced, obviously uncomfortable, "your arrogance. Do you think you could keep me here, in this house, until I recovered? Until I died?" He laughed, loud and manically, and Shadow had to wonder if he'd been drinking, though his breath showed no indication. He realized, blankly, that the laugh was forced. "No, the answer is no, you cannot. I would've found out about my niece and nephew with or without _you_. Yes, I need you. But I need you because I love you. Do not imprison me because _you_ love _me_."

Shadow was starting to get the point. Sonic was being domineering because he wanted to show Shadow how it felt to be caged, to feel powerless. Well, it was certainly working. But somehow, the thought of being dominated by his partner—even if it weren't to last—turned Shadow on. Strange, seeing as he had always wanted to be dominant in his relationships.

"Well…if there's nothing else to say, then…could you get off my wrists?" Shadow pleaded. He was starting to sweat, feeling horny at having his lover so close to him. Sonic noticed and lowered his lids.

"Not yet," Sonic answered thoughtfully, biting his lower lip in concentration. "I don't want to continue that tiresome speech—I'm well aware you get the point. However," Sonic nuzzled between Shadow's shoulder and neck, his breath ticklishly warm. "The next time you get testy like that in your head," and here, Sonic bit down on Shadow's neck hard and began to suck. Shadow moaned and arched into Sonic. The pain stung, and his neck was warm with blood. Why was Sonic getting so vicious? And why was Shadow so turned on by this? Shadow held Sonic's head to his neck, whimpering with feverish pleasure. "Think of when Eggman was alive." Sonic pulled away from Shadow neck, much to ebony's dismay, and moved one hand against the small of the black racer's back. Shadow found the pressure there encouraging him to arch up, which he did, his stick now considerably hard.

It took him longer thabn usual to realize Sonic was hard, too.

"Would you hold back," Sonic continued as he slowly stuck his hardened cock into Shadow's ass, "on that information, were Eggman still alive? Would you keep from me his attacks? Would you allow my friends to die at his hands, all to keep me in a cage, like some common _bird_? Arrgh, you're tight."

_I wanna fly _

_I wanna drive _

_I wanna go _

_I wanna be a part of something I don't know _

_And if you try to hold me back I might explode _

Shadow moaned, and Sonic wedged himself into Shadow, defeated. He could no longer reach Shadow with words. He had to take command in a way Shadow would never forget. _This isn't forever,_ he told himself, wanting obviously to be on the receiving end. Honestly, trying to give sex to someone strong, like Knuckles or Shadow, took a toll on Sonic. It exhausted him. Which was why he liked to sit back during sex, and let his partner do the work.

But, he had a mission to complete. And that mission was to prove to Shadow just how wild he was.

_If you can understand this, we can make some magic _

_I'm on like that _

Sonic began to thrust, increasing speed outside of What Shadow was moaning out, asking for. Sonic was giving pleasure to Shadow on his own terms. He wasn't about to follow what anyone else said. He was making a point.

Shadow continued to yell out Sonic's name, having wanted this so bad (although to be on the receiving end was a blessing in disguise) that he didn't even see Sonic's point at first. After about thirteen thrusts, Shadow was ready to cum. One more thrust would do it, would send him over the edge.

But Sonic had other plans.

_If you're gonna be my man, understand_

_I can't be tamed_

Sonic pulled out, producing a whine from Shadow, and knelt down on the level with Shadow's horn. He then closed his mouth over Shadow's penis and began to tug and suck on it. Shadow was surprised and shocked to feel the movement and texture of Sonic's tongue on this his most tender of places, that he came loudly and quickly.

Sonic was busy swallowing down Shadow's semen, trying not to drown with the sheer amount of it. It was sticky and salty and sour-tasting, but it felt so good in his stomach that it was almost as if he never had to eat again.

Almost.

Satisfied that he'd made his point and sleepy and full of his love's juice, Sonic stood up again. Shadow's eyes widened in awe as Sonic captured his lips in a powerful, tired kiss. The black hedgehog could taste the traces of semen on Sonic's flawless, soft lips.

Sonic giggled, cuddling against Shadow until the dark hedgehog held him, staring up into his eyes, past them, into his brain and soul beyond. "Delicious," he mused dreamily. "Shadow, you feel so good _in_ me," he giggled madly, hugging his stomach. "You make me feel all nice and warm and fuzzy." He looked up at Shadow and smiled at him. Then, he pulled away and walked over to the couch, flopped down, and picked up the remote. "C'mon! You wanna watch the rest of _Sherlock Bones_ with me? I'll fill ya in, and the actor for Walrus-Son is drop-dead _gorgeous_!"

Shadow laughed and joined his lover on the couch. While Sonic, and later, the film, prattled on, Shadow thought about the sex…and realized something he'd missed before.

In that session, Sonic had never came.

_Baby by now you should know_

_I can't be tamed_

**_Lyrics:_**

**_Can't Be Tamed-Miley Cyrus_**


	58. Torn in Two Diaries I

**Torn in Two Diaries I**

_Uhhh…I dunno the date._

_Hungry. Cold. It's raining outside, so I feel like it must be spring. What's that old rhyme? "April showers bring May flowers"?_

_I feel like in my life, it's raining. If that even makes any sense. Ugh. I feel like I never want to look upon this page again. Once I can eat again, I'm going to devour every single page in this diary. Fuck ink poisoning._

_Ugh, I'm __soooo__ hungry, I'm dizzy. This needs to end. __Now__. _

_But, it won't, will it?_

_I had a dream again last night. I'm into dramas a lot lately—tragedies where everyone dies. I don't even cry anymore. I know Amy would cry. Knuckles locked me in the basement again, for, like, the fiftieth time this month (week, day? Year?). Luckily, he forgot about me. So I hear his drunken song, as he tears the house apart looking for me._

_I want to cry. But I won't. Because I'm better than that._

…

_Right?_

_Do, do, do, dee, doo, doo. I dream of chilidogs, la la deed a, and ice cream sundaes to the sky, cherries enough to fill my stomach. I dream, I dream. La la._

_Whoa, did I just go crazy back there? Sorry if the pen slips, my handwriting is sooo crappy, cause my hand won't stop shaking. I want to eat so badly. My pen is running out of ink. Maybe I'll eat the ink cartridge after it runs out. Fuck real food. If I could catch these spiders, I would, but I'm afraid they'll bite me. The last thing I need is to be poisoned._

_Hey, better-me? If you ever look at these again, can you pinky-promise me something? Can you eat these? I don't care HOW you eat them…maybe crush them in pudding, or bake them into a cake, or put it in the fresh, meaty chili on your juicy, fat franks…ugh, I'm drooling._

_Just…eat them. Okay? Cause everyone who reads this will think I'm insane. Thanks!_

_Sometimes, I wonder if it'll be a happy ending for me. Sometimes, I think: "How could this happen to me? I mean, I'm Sonic, right? How could this happen to ME?" How indeed. When I used to be in serious trouble, I wouldn't think a lot about how I'd get out of it. I wouldn't give it a second thought. But now, I thank whatever creature created us when I wake up in the morning. I thank it for every breath I take. Maybe if there is no…thing…I can just curse the world and be done with it._

_Next time you hear scraping in your basement, think of me. Kay? :D_

_But, anyway. I wonder these days about how I'll get out alive. If I ever do, I'll convert to a religion. I swear on my life. Because it takes something greater than me to lift me from this hell. I'll worship anything that gets me outta this mess._

_Gods, I'm SOOOOOOO hungry. Somebody pray for me. If you believe in that sort of thing._

_Sonic_

NOTE: These diary entries were recovered by Shadow in the house where Sonic and Knuckles once lived. They have been typed for your viewing pleasure, in as much of the original language as can be expressed. These pages have been torn, soiled, half-eaten, cried, drooled, and doodled upon. Blood stains and dead spiders mark some pages, while others are torn in a rage. The diary itself is currently in the possession of Shadow the Hedgehog, and is going to be given to Sonic as a present on his birthday.


	59. Endless Craving

_I'm going to write a companion story to Torn in Two called __The Torn in Two Diaries__, which those of you who are up to date know about already. Wow. I have 199 reviews. I'm a little nervous! Don't expect so much of me in the future, all right? :3_

**Endless Craving**

Sonic wanted chilidogs. And now he was talking to his best friend and little brother Tails about the twins. He was bored because Shadow had gone back to work. Things were obscenely normal between them, despite the events of a few days back.

"I dunno, Tails. I can't eat the sweets anymore. Trying to stomach them makes me feel all…not good…inside."

"So? Move on to real food now. You've been complaining about wanting chilidogs for over thirty minutes, here."

"I—I _know_, Tails. I'm sorry. I feel awful about it, but…"

"But what?"

Sonic sighed loudly into the mouthpiece, making a cackling sound. "But…but I _can't_ for some reason. I _can't_ eat chilidogs! And, for all of hell or heaven, I can't explain _why_!"

"Hmmm…" By the sound of things, Tails' big brain was calculating possible answers. Sonic waited patiently for him to continue. "Well," Tails spoke at length. Sonic perked his ears to listen, "did you have a bad experience with chilidogs? It probably had to do with you-know-who. It's psychological, if you want my analysis."

No, he _knew_ it was psychological. He knew a possible reason why, too. The last time he'd smelled chilidogs, they were burning in a yellow-orange flame as ravenous as he was. That was the closest he'd gotten to eating chilidogs in…in quite a long time. Thinking about it made him woozy with hunger and queasy with indigestion at the thought of those violet eyes set afire by flames. He swallowed thickly, feeling the urge to purge, but refusing himself the self-destructive privilege. That almost seemed a semi-automatic reaction when he thought of Knux these days.

"Thanks anyway, Tails. You got a cure for it?"

"Therapy?" Tails shrugged. Sonic could tell, because the phone on his end crackled. He was multi-tasking.

"Which twin came to you?"

"Oh, it's Clark. He wants to learn to fly."

"Already? Geez, those kids grow fast!"

Tails laughed. "Cosmo says its because they're half-plant. They aren't very old in years at all. They're barely a month! They just mature quickly."

"Ah. Do they adjust to our timeline anytime soon?"

"Cosmo says they're almost done with their first growth spurt. The other growths will come naturally. But, back to you, Sonic."

"Back to you, Bob, in the newsroom," Sonic took on the deep voice of a news anchor and giggled at himself.

"Yes, back to you." Tails laughed. "Therapy is the only cure I can think of. And I'm sure you're tired of that 'box with windows,' as you call it."

"_Yes_. Ugh!"

"Then it's up to you to fix your mind. In the meantime, may I suggest going easy on the meats, for your stomach's sake? The rules still stand, that if you exclude something from your diet, your tummy won't take it!"

"Ugh. It sounds _so_ odd to hear you say 'tummy,' Mr. Scientist." Sonic grinned. "Either way, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm passing out here."

"You called me, buddy. But, yeah. You fix yourself something and I'll check in later."

"Always glad to hear news of the twins, Tails."

"Will do, Sonic. Later!"

"Later." Click!

Sonic put the phone back on the hook and sighed, tapping his fingers on his elbows. He hadn't lied to Tails—he _was_ pretty hungry. His stomach was sending electric shocks from its empty center along his spine and to his brain. Frustrated, he fixed himself a tall glass of milk and quickly chugged it down. Feeling a little less dizzy, he yawned and scratched his belly, thinking about what he wanted to eat.

Glancing into the next room at the inviting couch, (his wrists were beginning to ache, now that he thought about it), he jogged in and leapt over the arm and into the cushy center. He settled in, inching along so that his back was well-supported and every part of him felt relaxed. He flicked on the tv, hoping the abundance of commercials about food would arouse his hunger to something. But no sooner had he done that then he cried out in sudden pain.

Sonic pressed his hands against his chest, gasping for breath. It felt like a large hand was squishing his ribs together, as if his upper body were some kind of rubbery clay or squishy toy. It was making it hard to breathe. He felt like his heart was beating faster, trying to emerge from his ribs, his chest! He felt it would soon pop out into his lap!

Hissing with the searing pain, he thrust his head back and closed his eyes, his breathing forced to calm as he began to count as high as he could. By the time he got to eighty-eight, the pain had subsided.

But Sonic could no longer move his upper body.

Sonic panicked a little, since he had no idea how long his chest would be immobile. Searing pain rushed through his body if he even tried to breathe at a normal weight. His arms and legs became weak, no doubt deprived of oxygen. He sighed, moving the clicker to his thigh so he could work it properly.

Something told him this attack was based on a lack of protein. Eating meat would take this illness away.

But there was no way in hell or heaven he could help himself. Not this time.


	60. The Quota Filled

**The Quota Filled**

_Sonic can move his arms…yeah. I felt that I didn't make that clear enough last chapter…_

_On with the story!_

Shadow pulled the car into the driveway and was about to turn it off completely. He was enjoying the heat blowing at him, rustling his white chest fur with ease. Music was still blasting in his ears—a heavy metal station. The screams and growls of the music calmed him down when he was angry, and soothed him more than classical music would. He sighed, turning off the radio. He could hear Jamie barking, even from here. She and Jack were probably in Sonic's bedroom, playing. He smiled, getting out of the car, and went to greet his beloved boyfriend.

As he unlocked the door and stepped inside, he found Sonic relaxing on the couch, his feet stretched out on the ottoman, his eyes lazily affixed to some tv movie. His hands were behind his head, now at his lap, and Shadow remembered the speed with which those hands and that emaciated body had pinned him to the wall, had given him immense pleasure…he dare not think of it now, because it seemed Sonic was in no mood to go through that again. "Hi, Sonic," Shadow greeted casually. "Did you miss me?"

Sonic's green eyes glittered in the dim lighting. "Course I did, Shads. I'm glad you're home before the storm."

"Ah? They predicted one?"

"Yeah. Supposed to be pretty bad."

Shadow waited. Sonic hadn't gotten up to hug him in welcome yet, as was now his custom since he could now move freely, if a little slowly, when he ached. But Sonic hadn't moved. "Are you mad at me?" Shadow wondered.

"No," Sonic flashed him a weak smile.

"Really? Cause you haven't come to hug me yet."

Sonic scratched behind his head, turning to the side slightly and lowering his eyelids. "Yeah, see…I hurt. I can't move. My chest hurts, even when I breathe too fast—" here, he hissed out in pain and shifted, biting his lower lip so fiercely that Shadow was sure it would bleed in an instant.

The black hedgehog drew near, concern flashing in his ruby orbs. He felt Sonic's forehead with the back of his hand for fever, but there was no traces of it. He massaged his fingers down Sonic's neck and in between the marvelous blue quills. Sonic purred, obviously adoring the attention. Shadow, who had not felt Sonic in some time, was surprised to find that huge welts beneath the surface of Sonic's skin—the remains of bruises and scratches—were still only just beginning to heal. He moved down to Sonic's shoulders, and gently across Sonic's chest and down to his stomach. Sonic winced, curving into Shadow and bracing himself against him, tightening up as if he were about to be given a needle. His eyes flickered from the couch to Shadow fearfully—when they were not scrunched shut with pain, that is.

Shadow had found what he was looking for. The remains of bruises and scrapes still were present in some places on his body. He moved around to feel at Sonic's back and around the tail, frowning in distaste. "Knuckles really did a number on you, Sonic," he mused, more to himself than to his blue boyfriend, "you're still only just beginning to heal."

"But it's _okay_, Shadow," Sonic's arms now wound around the dark one's neck, pulling his face close so that ebony could smell Sonic's breath. It didn't really smell like anything, which made Shadow frown in response. "All I need is time."

"_All you need_ is a good meal," Shadow asserted firmly, drawing away. "What do you want to eat?"

Sonic licked his lips. "Meat, meat, meat. Anything with meat."

"Really?" Shadow raised an eyebrow, chuckling. "You're moving on to real food now?"

"Yeah, I'm sick of sweets for now." Sonic replied. Shadow guffawed at the 'for now' part. So Sonic did still plan to eat sweets later on! The dark hedgehog frowned, jealous of Sonic that he actually _could_ eat nothing but sweets for a good month or so and _not_ get fat—in fact, barely gain any weight at all!

But he quickly went back to fixing Sonic's dinner. "We don't have much by way of meat, though we do have a good-sized ham in here."

"_Mmmm_, yes." Sonic purred. "Make that. Make _that_."

Shadow began to prepare the meat. Sonic went back to watching the tv.

At length, Shadow called over his shoulder, "Sonic? Did you eat at all today? You felt so skinny when I touched you…"

Sonic's ears flattened. "I…couldn't exactly move, Shads. My chest hurt, remember?"

"So you had _nothing_ to eat _**all day**_?" Shadow cried in alarm, hastily throwing the ham into the oven. _Cook faster! Cook __**faster**__! _He hollered in his mind.

Sonic sighed deeply. "I had a little breakfast, but it was just that—little. It was only a small cake, and then I realized I couldn't eat sweets anymore."

"Oh, _Sonic_!" Shadow cried, rushing in to hug him. "I'm _sooo_ sorry! I should've been there to help! I could've! I—"

"Ack, don't mind, Shadow." Sonic gasped, wriggling to get free from Shadow's hug. "I'm all right now."

Shadow sighed into Sonic's neck and let go. Then he plopped into the couch beside him, defeated. Sonic laid his head on Shadow's shoulder for a moment, sending shock waves from the point of contact to Shadow's brain. The dark hedgehog smiled warmly, a privilege he thought lost to him, as he stared with Sonic at the pointless tv movie playing before their eyes.

Of course, the minute the ham was done, Shadow rushed to get it. He prepared it swiftly, nearly slicing off his fingers in his haste to get it cut into slices so that he could share in Sonic's dinner. He couldn't lie to himself anymore—even eating large lunches still left him a little hungry by the end of the day. He hoped Sonic wouldn't lose too much by it.

Long ago, Shadow had stopped wondering if Sonic would mind. Sonic _never_ minded, which made him too much of a hero in those rare times when it was he who needed help the most. Like now. Certainly like now. Shadow couldn't think of any time Sonic had needed help _more _than now!

Shadow brought in a heaping plate of ham for Sonic, and sat sheepishly a few feet away with his portion, scarfing it down to detract attention. Sonic stabbed a slice of the thick, pinkish ham with his fork and stared at it for a while. Shadow watched his eyes grow huge with wonder and hunger, before blue had made the ham, not so magically, disappear. As he chewed and swallowed, a visible shiver of pleasure mixed with revulsion at the taste—meat in the stomach of anyone who hasn't eaten it in a while feels strange, and makes the body slightly nauseous—showed. But it was obvious he enjoyed it, for he quickly took another bite, before chomping down on bite after bite blindly.

Shadow was trying to muscle down his portion yet, for he still felt on edge eating in front of Sonic. It seemed slightly wrong, for a being like himself who suffered no sort of starvation of any kind, to be eating hurriedly in hunger next to a creature like Sonic, who had been pushed to the edges of his existence, alive now only because of his will to live, and what comparatively little food sustained his riotous body.

In a break for the ecstasy of taste the ham incited in him, Sonic happened to glance over at Shadow, who seemed to be sneaking the ham from his plate into his mouth, pretending to watch something outside, now the tv, and now Sonic himself…and he stopped, swallowing thickly before giving himself ample time to chew. The ham sat like a lump in his throat.

Sonic smirked, his head back, one hand thrown over his waist at about the base of his ribs and the other steadying the plate on his lap, his legs still crossed as Shadow had found them, utterly calm and exuding that calm flawlessly, as only he was capable of. "You're sneaking it," he teased, his smirk almost tearing at his jaw. "There's no use in sneaking it. _I'm_ the sneak, here."

Shadow laughed uneasily at that, looking at Sonic carefully. "I was only afraid of taking what is rightfully yours, Sonic." He admitted sheepishly, glaring at the three pieces of ham still remaining on his plate, that his empty belly grumbled for in its selfishness.

Sonic's ears twitched slightly, and he closed his eyes in response. "Aww, Shads," he purred, "I'm not mad. After all, I was only starved to the brink of insanity! It's not like I've been in worse before!" He chuckled, wincing slightly. "_Ooooo_, ah—at least _this_ sort of wound can easily be healed," he moved the wrist hung over his side upward to indicate his stomach. "Trust me—it's not as easy when a gigantic mech hits you through—ah, were they stone? Or diamond? I can't remember—let's just say, huge, and very hard, towers of…stuff that's _nine thousand_ times as hard as your bones!" He laughed heartily now, and Shadow joined him weakly.

"I still feel bad, though," Shadow admitted stormily after their laughter was over. "It feels…wrong of me, to do this."

"To eat?" Sonic laughed. "Shads, I think this is the _only _time you've ever sounded really, truly _childish_ to me!"

Shadow was shocked, his fur standing on end at the comment! He? Childish? He couldn't help hissing at that, which made Sonic giggle.

"Let me explain," Sonic replied, surrendering with his hands. He kinda wanted to concentrate on his meal—it could've been paranoia of some sort or other, but he swore he could smell the ham growing cold—and it hurt him to think, to acknowledge, that he was so hungry. "Tails and Amy, who have been my friends forever, know that they must take care of themselves for my own health. If they waste away, my health fades, too."

"But, why do they not suffer when you suffer?"

Sonic shrugged. "It isn't an easy question to answer, but I know that I feel better when they're well cared for, in spite of my own condition. Do you see?" His stomach growled ferociously, and he flushed promptly, downing another few bites of ham to silence his voracious tummy. He looked exhausted of this hunger.

Shadow nodded his understanding and finished his dinner, in turn allowing Sonic to finish his. Again, the dark hedgehog noted, Sonic was too much of a hero.

_I wasn't going to do an 'over nine thousand' joke. lol_


	61. What Really Goes On

_Sorry to those of you looking for an 'over 9,000' joke in the last chapter! I figured you all would be tired of internet humor…silly me?_

_Anyway, I digress._

**What Really Goes On**

Sonic was humming and singing at the same time as he did housewifey duties, such as fixing the bed and tidying up subconsciously, without truly realizing what he was doing. Shadow laughed as he gathered his towel from the floor by the bath, watching him.

"Why are you singing, Sonic?"

The blue hedgehog beamed at him. "I'm happy, I guess! Can't I sing?" His eyes twinkled as he cocked his head in overwhelming innocence before he went back to work fixing the pillows, hitting the ones on his side to test their firmness. The palms of his hands made quick _bat-bat_s on the surface of the pillows as he did this. The sound of the shower water running joined this as the only noise in the house.

Shadow was enchanted by the twinkle in Sonic's eyes. Those eyes never ceased to amaze him. What wonder and joy those eyes held! And when they were happy—oh! How they shone! But as he leaned against the door, his arms crossed over his pelvis, where he now held the crimson towel, he focused instead on Sonic's singing, a knowing grin crossing his lips, his eyelids lowering slyly. "Or…are you just full? Huh?" He snickered. "You're _content_ enough to sing. Is _that_ it?"

As he said this, Sonic flushed rosy pink. Luckily, he was looking down at the dark red sheets and so the blush wasn't seen. He shook his head. "No way! I resent that!" Shadow laughed aloud. "No! Really! I can sing a pretty tune, even if I'm so hungry, I'll drop! I don't _need_ to be full to sing!"

"A voice doesn't run on gas?" Shadow quipped. Sonic resisted the urge to hit him with a pillow. His fist clenched as he held one, forcing the fabric towards him until it joined his palm within his closed hand.

In a second, Sonic was beside, behind Shadow. The dark hedgehog was sure Sonic hadn't used his speed. Blue had been trying his best to refrain from using his super power too much until he was healthier—till he could afford to. Till his brittle stick body didn't wobble like rubber whenever he skidded to a halt. Yes, he was getting better, but no, he was not completely healed. Granted, maybe he never would be, being the scrawny little thing he was, but…after a few good feasts, he would surely feel better, if not look it.

Sonic was pushing Shadow towards the bathroom, chuckling. "You get in there and shower off. I've got to change."

"As if you can't get naked in front of me," Shadow grunted. Sonic hit him playfully.

"You stop, you card! Hurry up, my sweet!" He pecked Shadow on the cheek, on the jaw, just beneath the collarbone, making Shadow sigh. The dark hedgehog _loved_ to be kissed at random—he never knew where Sonic's lips would end up. "I'm going to change my socks and gloves for a fresh pair."

_That_ woke Shadow up. "_What_? Waitaminute, you mean you _haven't_ taken your socks and gloves off _yet_?"

Sonic laughed. "I mean, I've _washed_ them! The same pair! Yes! Cause I didn't have any others!" He threw up his hands, a 'duh' expression on his face. His attitude was obviously 'well, how could you _not_ know?'

Shadow shook his head. "Okay." He said, defeated. "You win." Sonic seemed to brighten at this, his ears perking up. "Just don't mix up our gloves and socks, okay?" As Sonic shut the door on him.

"I won't!" Sonic called. Shadow had to strain to hear over the roar of the shower, had to shout to be heard over the rushing waterfall, his voice penetrating the steam: "How do _you_ know!" And answer he would never come to full understand, if he ever got one.

Sonic sat down on the bed, secretly glad they were turning it in early. It was only nine o'clock, but it felt _so_ late! Maybe it _was_ the warmth of contentment he had received from his generous helping of dinner (singlehandedly, he'd depleted very nearly the entire ham), but he was suddenly wanting sleep. He was drowsy, that was it. Warm. Not quite full, just…warm.

He thought about the warmth briefly as he popped his sneakers off his feet, placing them lovingly, gently against the far wall before returning to the bed to remove his socks and gloves and place them unceremoniously into the hamper, then going over to the dresser where he knew Shadow had stored his things, and took a clean pair of socks from it, leaving the gloves for tomorrow. He blew on his hands to fluff the fur on them, rotating them around so he covered all of them, and then he jumped onto the bed, bouncing up a little because of the springs, and wincing out of habit from the impact. He then opened the drawer of the nightstand and retrieved a bad of crackers which he began to chomp on heartily.

He didn't really _need_ them. The ham had warmed him, made him feel more comfortable than he had felt most nights, but they were more of an insurance. Perhaps he was trying to gain some cushion, between his ribs and whatever would encounter them. Whatever the reason, he had made short work of the bag, managing to muscle down every last bite. Observing the mess he'd made, he brushed it with the side of his hand to the floor and licked the cracker crumbs from the surface of his fur. Then, he crumbled the bag into a ball and slam-dunked it into the garbage can, mentally tallying two points in the basketball game of life, before stretching out to full length on the bed, studying the chocolate brown ceiling, his hands moving to cradle his head as he yawned hugely. He was stuffed now, making him feel bloated though he knew he wasn't, his stomach firm beneath his fur. He refused to pat it or touch it, but he could feel it tighten, even as he breathed easy, making him feel sleepier. He yawned again and rubbed his fist at his upper chest, calmed by the soft, earthy brown covering Shadow's ceiling. He hunted for watermarks or other imperfections, and found a small spider lying in wait somewhere fifty paces from the "center" on the ceiling.

Sonic stood up on the bed to look at it, not intending to crush it, his belly heavy with its contents as he moved. The spider was small and black, with a small silver stripe running from its middle to its back, like a scar. Sonic smiled at the tiny bug and blew at it gently. The spider spazzed and crawled away towards the corner of the room. Sonic watched it go, wondering with the mind of one who is exhausted if he could race it and win. As the shower water turned off, Sonic collapsed back into the bed, settling down again and yawning hugely as he readied himself for sleep.

_I still can't forget_

_I wonder if the New Year's card will have a photo_

_I think back to the things_

_We couldn't do together and find them dear_

Shadow's sleep was disturbed by constant shifting beside him in the bed. Furiously, he turned around and snored loudly and purposefully towards the bathroom door, determined to rattle the blue creature making a tornado of the bedsheets beside him. Finally, his concern won over his tiredness, and he turned to look at his love.

Sonic was not asleep. And now, he lay panting, looking at the ceiling, his eyes not weary with sleep but awake and alive. He was biting his lip, needy. Shadow reached out to touch him, calm him, bring him closer, embrace him, and he did this now, stroking his fingers through the fur on Sonic's head, the flawless blue quills, the tiny, flexible ears as smooth as silk to the touch. "What's wrong, my pet?" He purred. "Why the ruckus?"

Sonic whimpered, and turned profile, his eyes squinting shut in pain. He wouldn't answer.

Shadow lay his head on Sonic's chest—the slightest pressure—and sighed deeply. The frantic pounding of Sonic's heart was beautiful, though it concerned him. He liked Sonic's passions—those that made him fly into a battle, blind rage, or a run. The emotional passions that turned physical, that made his heart race. Shadow loved it. Faintly, tough, he heard a seahorse.

"You're hungry," he mused, kissing up Sonic's body, noting the way he tensed with contact, moving up the body and sitting up himself until he was towering over Sonic, plastering his cheek with kisses, the beautiful face profile, those tender lips shut tight over the complaint. "Is that why you're so restless?"

Sonic nodded. "I don't think you've ever been awake, to see me like this." Very true, as Sonic, not being able to move, had slept downstairs, nights.

"You _are_." Shadow mused, grinning wildly in the dark. Well, it seemed Sonic _could_ move, if this had happened more than once!

Sonic opened the eye closest to Shadow, the emerald pupil flickering to look at him almost helplessly. There was helplessness, but there was a strict command therein—a command that way to be obeyed for the good of all.

Shadow rose. "What would you like?"

Sonic licked his lips. "Blueberries and flapjacks."

"Together?" Shadow asked.

"Sure!" Sonic responded brightly. "However you wish."

_Woo! So I went with Passion lyrics again, because they're so dreamy, y'know? Especially this line. Well anyway…cheers!_


	62. DutyBound

**Duty-Bound**

_Hello Renegade! is an alternate title…lemme know which one you all prefer! I aim to please!_

Sonic lay in bed asleep, dreaming. He was warm from a filling breakfast of pancakes and waffles topped with strawberries and apples and, of course, warm maple syrup. He purred, snuggling into the pillows as he thought of his meal. It made his stomach warm and tighten from the very thought! And while the feeling of being stuffed can be uncomfortable, it was not unwelcome to Sonic.

Suddenly, his ears swiveled. He shivered once visibly beneath the sheets, and sat up slowly, drowsy with the heaviness of sleep. Something was wrong. Something was up.

Sonic sat up and rubbed his eyes, stretching his legs out and cracking his ankles to get the blood flowing again. He pulled on a fresh pair of gloves and tugged on his shoes, lacing up the straps. He tossed a glance at the mirror and shook himself of sleep in a moment, his quills falling sweetly about his shoulders. He loved the prickly, ticklish feel of them against his tender shoulders.

He went into the bathroom and splashed his face with some cold water, nearly making his heart stop, and checked his breath. It wasn't perfect, but it smelled good enough, and Sonic was satisfied. Still, the feeling that something was wrong…

It pulled him to the door. And it managed to pull his body into a run. Sonic slid into the swift stride fast, his eyes automatically adjusting to the swirling world of dizzying color around him. His feet became a red smudge as he ran ever faster, pulled to the outskirts of town, past the bustling city streets, the cars that honked, the people that shopped in the streets. He was on a mission.

He stopped at the curb, a rather abandoned place, and swiveled his head to look beyond him. There was a traffic light here, changing monotonously from red to yellow to green, and only an old man of some respectful religious tradition walking along bent close to the ground, broom in hand, meandered along these streets. It was very quiet.

Sonic closed his eyes and listened. He could hear himself breathing, his stomach churning from his large meal, his digestive system rushing to get nutrients where they needed to go from his run, his heart beating ever faster as he became anxious. He heard the shuffling of the old man's feet, and a faint clicking that was the traffic lights. He moved past these sounds, and listened on.

There it was. The unmistakable hum of a large robot using jets to fly across the ground. Sonic opened his eyes and saw the dust in the distance beginning to flare up, coming from the base miles beyond it. He sighed and reached out with his heart. _One of yours?_

Dr. Eggman, his spirit guide, flickered into view much like a computer hologram would. He looked more like the portly doctor Sonic remembered, and blue couldn't help snickering at the sudden weight gain. _Yes, it's mine. A renegade. Oh, stupid, worthless thing that it is!_ He seemed to show genuine remorse.

_Do you know what it is?_ Sonic squinted, holding his hand up over his eyes. The old man had long since turned a corner and went into the city. They were alone.

Eggman frowned, stroking his moustache. _Certainly not an E-Series model._

_Certainly._

_It's a death machine._ Eggman decided. _My creation called Haslet. _

_Weapons?_

_Strength, namely in the iron fists it has._

_You always liked your dumb puns. 'I'll rule with THIS iron fist!'_ Sonic chuckled to himself.

Eggman frowned. _This thing is deadly, Sonic. We have to stop it._

_You mean __**I**__ have to stop it. _Sonic tightened his show straps once more and cracked his knuckles. _When do I ever not?_

_When you are sick, as you have been. _Eggman winked out of sight. _Take care of yourself, Sonic._

Sonic nodded as the beastie showed its ugly mug. He was ready for it. He was _always_ ready for it.

He was Sonic the Hedgehog.

_Is this more than you bargained for yet?..._

_I'm just a notch in your bedpost_

_But you're just a line in a song_

Shadow had been going over some files on his computer at work. Very boring work. He was tired of staring at the laptop screen, blaring heavy metal from the computer's speakers to make the time go faster. Just when he thought the day couldn't get anymore interesting, Amy burst into his office, panting from her run up the stairs (she'd been trying to exercise more, though she hadn't gained any weight).

Shadow glanced up at her, pausing his music for the moment. "Hi, Amy," he said pleasantly in his therapist's voice. "Care to sit down?"

Amy shook her head, and caught her breath. "There's trouble," she gasped.

"Trouble?" Shadow stood at once, tearing off his tie and jacket. "Where? What?"

"Downtown." Amy replied. "A giant robot."

"Isn't Eggman _dead_?" Shadow snorted. "Giant robot my arse."

Amy seemed surprised at the news of Eggman's death. "It's a giant robot, all right," she confirmed, pushing her bangs out of her face, "and Sonic's fighting it."

"_**Sonic**_?" Shadow bellowed in worry. And then, he was gone in a gust of black wind.

Amy decided to settle for watching the news anxiously. No way she could keep up with her best friend's black beau.

_Am I more than you bargained for yet?_

_I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear_

_Cause that's just who I am this week_

Shadow pushed and shoved his way through the crowd that had gathered, potentially wounding innocent bystanders with his punches. He felt like he was in the middle of a claustrophobic mosh pit. Everyone seemed to be hitting or dancing against him in order to get a better look.

He could see the giant iron monster, like a huge, fat rocket with two long, retractable arms and two iron fists ten times the size of his love, painted the classic red, black, and white of the Doctor's machines, a ridiculous moustache painted on the robot's large, impenetrable chest.

And in the middle of it all was a blue flea. Compared to the size of the robot he was fighting, Sonic looked like little more than a pesky insect, buzzing around the creature looking for a bloody meal. Shadow's eyes scanned the blue buzzsaw he knew to be Sonic for any weaknesses, frustrated as his eyes met with the glare of the sun time and time again.

The crowd gasped and Shadow, busy trying to push his way through a family of pudgy humans, immediately looked upward. Remembering he could use his shoes to hover, he engaged them and hovered over the heads of the pudgy family.

He saw what everyone else saw. Sonic the Hedgehog was crushed like a fly between the two iron fists. Shadow had to cringe, his skin crawling as he thought of the pain this was surely bringing to Sonic right now.

But, the hedgehog, through some feat of strength, managed to spin dash out of the fists and buzz saw the head off of the creature. The massive robot fell upon its side and everyone cheered. Shadow began to breathe again, and zoomed forward as everyone gasped behind him.

Sonic had fainted and was now falling head first towards the concrete pavement. Luckily, Shadow rescued him just in time.

The dark hedgehog held Sonic bridal style and nuzzled his muzzle against Sonic's forehead, his eyebrows, his nose. Sonic's eyelids twitched and fluttered open, the green beauties exhausted from their work.

The blue hedgehog came to life with a yawn and Shadow kissed the tip of his nose. This aroused an 'awwww' from the audience, and Shadow didn't understand at first until Sonic lifted a hand and gave a salutary wave. Shadow turned around, only to see a helicopter carrying a camera crew hovering a few feet away.

Not only that, but he and Sonic were being broadcast on the big screen. Shadow looked at the tv screen and flushed. Sonic had his hands behind his head, relaxing. He was basking in the attention! Shadow had to smile to himself as he looked back at the camera. Sonic reached up to ruffle Shads' chest fur, dug his muzzle into it and drew a long whiff. When he grinned and gave a thumbs-up to the camera, millions of bystanders laughed aloud. Then, Sonic waved goodbye and Shadow rocketed off across the sky, multitudes cheering their names:

"Sonic! Shadow! Sonic! Shadow!"

The black hedgehog nuzzled his boyfriend, chuckling. "You paparazzi whore."

Sonic yawned and nuzzled into the crook of Shadow's arm. "Yup! That's me!" He replied merrily.

Shadow laughed and plotted a course for home, enthused at the warmth now caressing his shoulder.

_Awww! *sniff!* SOOOOOO FLUFFEH! Leave your comments and questions, my loves!_

_LYRICX ARE_

_Sugar, We're Goin Down BY Fall Out Boy_

_Shah!_


	63. Bargain Bets

**Bargain Bets**

_Oh, I dunno…these chapter names are getting ridiculous. My friend Ashton is wondering how Espio and Knuckles are holding up. And I guarantee you haven't seen the last of those two! But…their story comes later. First, let's feed this hungry hedgie! Are you with me?_

Shadow kicked open the door to the house, which sent Jamie barking. Sonic wiggled to be put down, and Shadow obliged reluctantly. Sonic bent down towards the eager poodle, laughing merrily as she licked his face.

"James, you're getting your tongue in my mouth!" Sonic laughed. "Only Shads' tongue belongs there!"

Shadow had to flush, hearing that. But Sonic lifted the poodle up into his arms and carried her over to the couch, flopping into it like a ragdoll. He set Jamie on his lap, but the poodle wasn't about to stay still for long! With a mighty leap, she was don on the floor again, and climbing all over Shadow's shoes.

"You're on my foot, Jamie," Shadow said lovingly. The poodle looked up at him with intelligent brown eyes, as if to say: "yeah, that's kinda the point." Shadow rolled his eyes and turned to walk into the kitchen, Jamie running off to who-knows-where. "So," the dark hedgehog lolled against the doorframe to the kitchen, glancing at Sonic resting on the couch, "what do you want for lunch?"

Sonic laughed, turning slightly pink. "What? So I don't have to ask now?"

Shadow grinned. "I can guess…that after _that_, you need some TLC."

"_Or_ a FB."

"Facebook?" Shadow wondered.

"_No_!" Sonic emphasized, grinning ear to ear. "Full Belly! Get with the program?"

Shadow nodded. "All right, all right. You've ensnared me. So, Sonic," he waltzed into the room and leaned heavily on the arm of the couch, his nose nearly touching Sonic's face, "what do you want to fill that voracious maw you call a stomach? Hmmm?" He reached out with his finger to poke Sonic's chest, making the blue hedgehog spazz with a ticklish giggle.

"Don't bruise me, Shadow," Sonic warned playfully, his eyelids low as he pushed Shadow's hand away. "Let's see, now…hmmm…" He curled his knees up to his chest and comically stroked his chin with his fingers. "What do I want…?" Shadow began to tap his foot impatiently, copy-catting Sonic's usual response to boredom. "OH!" Sonic jumped up in discovery, making Shadow jump in surprise. That Sonic could be so still one second, and so fast the next still amazed him. It reminded him of when he'd first met the prideful young hedgehog all those years before…

"Hot dogs!" Sonic announced.

"Hot dogs?" Shadow raised an eyebrow. "_Chili_ dogs?"

Sonic shook his head, biting his lip. "No, no," _Burning hot dogs in a pan…Knux eating chili…no, no, __**NO**__!_ "Just regular old hot dogs," he clarified calmly. "Errr…_lots_ of them," he added when his stomach rumbled.

Shadow ruffled the fur on Sonic's head. "So…as many hot dogs as we have? Coming right up!" And he cheerfully went to the kitchen to prepare Sonic's meal. "Anything on them? Or…"

"Maybe ketchup," Sonic interrupted, flicking on the tv. "Let's see if I'm on the news yet."

"I was worried about you, you know," Shadow scolded, cutting open the stubborn hot dog package with a pair of scissors as he prepared the hot water. "You should warm me before you give me a heart attack."

"Oh, come, come, Shadow. We knew it was going to happen one of these days," Sonic brushed it off like dust from his sneakers. Speaking of which, he hadn't kicked them off yet. He was more comfortable in these shoes than in socks or even in bare feet!

"But it _shouldn't_ happen," Shadow growled, clenching his free fist. "Not since Eggman's…"

"Relax, Shadow," Sonic soothed almost sleepily. "It's _way_ past over, now."

Shadow sighed, taking a deep breath to calm himself. "I suppose you're right." He tumbled the hot dogs into the pot and went about making a side dish of macaroni and cheese for Sonic to snack on while he waited…and for himself to eat, as well. "But you worried all of us. Amy, me…" he trailed off.

"You," Sonic grinned. "It doesn't take much to worry you, does it?" In a second, he was standing in the doorway, and Shadow turned to look at him, striking blue against the black kitchen wall.

"I think I'm warranted my worry!" Shadow observed, looking at the still-skinny hedgehog before him. Sonic's cheeks were filling out, and he didn't look all bone anymore, but it was obvious still that only a thin layer of fatty skin covered his ribs. Their faint outline still shone through when he inhaled. He didn't have a stomach at all, really. The only chubbiness on him one had to look closely to see. "You were crushed between two," he cleared his throat, "iron fists. You _should_ be more careful."

"And you _should_ be less of a worry wart," Sonic scolded right back. "Neither is going to happen. Besides, where's the fun in being 'careful'?" He smirked, and Shadow realized Sonic wasn't taking his weakness seriously. As if he ever had. "I'm as indestructible as ever!" The blue one bragged. "No one's done me in yet!"

"But Knuckles nearly did," Shadow reminded him.

Sonic's ears flattened. "Different! Different!" He defended tearfully. "That was different, and you know it! Knuckles was…" he stopped himself, standing dumbfounded in the middle of the floor. "And I'm defending him," his ears, straightened before, drooped again. "I'm defending him…why?" Unconscious of anyone around him, Sonic fell to his knees. "Why? _Why_?" He slammed his fist on the chessboard tiles, his eyes shimmering, closing over the first tears he'd cried in a while. "Why, when I still hurt from…?" He moaned, and bowed his head. Shadow reached out to help or comfort him in some way, but before the black one's heavy body could react to what his mind was telling him he needed to do, Sonic was standing again. He scrubbed at his eyes with his fist, and then looked up, beaming. His ears were straight, and there was no evidence of sadness or weakness.

There was a moment of silence. Finally, Shadow spoke:

"Sonic…"

"Well!" Sonic chuckled. "I think those hot dogs are done, if my nose or that bubbling in the pot is any indication!"

"Oh!" Shadow was brought back down to earth. He and Sonic were no longer in a void of their argument, but back in their homey kitchen. And he was cooking Sonic lunch. "Yes, yes, I'll get them." He fumbled to do ten things at once. Turning off the stove, getting the macaroni out of the microwave, and so on. Sonic slowly fetched rolls out of the cabinet. While Shadow was busy cheesing his macaroni, Sonic meticulously placed the hot dogs into their buns, squirting two lines of blood red ketchup onto each one, piling them high on a plate. He paused after doing about five of them, held the sixth one done in his hand, and swiftly took a bite of it, leaving the rest of the work for Shadow to do.

_No_, he thought. _No, I won't live like this. I won't be afraid. _He glanced back into the kitchen, glanced at his hot dog, barely eaten at all. _Knuckles can't get me. _His eyes filled with tears. _Here, I'm safe._


	64. In for the Kill

**In for the Kill**

_I'm going in for the kill _

_I'm doing it for a thrill _

_Oh I'm hoping you'll understand _

_And not let go of my hand_

Shadow entered the noisy café and weaved his way through the teens and middle-aged "cool" people alike, trying to find a suitable table. In a matter of minutes, Sonic would meet him here for lunch. Then, if Shadow had time after that, they would be going out to someplace fun, like an arcade or something, just to enjoy each other's company. The change in routine would be good for Sonic, who had literally been cooped up in the house outside of a few small incidents. Eating out would give them a chance to chat, face-to-face, something that was rare between Sonic's voracious appetite and Shadow's crazy work schedule. Even if, after lunch, the day was spent volunteering at the shelter, Shadow wouldn't mind. Seeing Sonic's eyes light up in genuine glee was totally worth being ankle-deep in hair and poop.

But, as Shadow was scanning the patrons—Mobian hippies who let their fur grow long, dressed in neutral colors or tie-dye, sipping exotic-looking tame drinks, businesspeople of both races working on personal computers and sipping expensive coffee, youngsters stacking straws or blowing bubbles in their chocolate milks—he saw one face that disturbed him. While studying the figure so that he was certain of who it was, Shadow whipped out his cell phone and pressed speed dial 1.

"Sup?" Obviously, Sonic hadn't had the time to look at the caller ID, and obviously he hadn't been anywhere near using his phone. From the sound of it, he was groggy and heavy from sleep. Even though he had picked up right away, it was easy to tell he'd been deeply asleep.

"Hi, babe," Shadow struggled to keep his tone calm and level, so that Sonic wouldn't sense the worry in his voice. He was still staring at the patron he recognized, certain now of who it was, watching him as was his custom—with an unwavering, blood red stare.

"Shads," Sonic seemed relieved. He yawned, and his voice became slightly peppy in a minute. "Hope you aren't canceling our little lunch date…which I'm totally late for. Sorry. I'll get—"

"No, no, that's okay," Shadow responded casually but quickly before Sonic went dashing out the door. "Stay and relax. I've, um…" he searched the files of his mind for a feasible excuse, "I've been held up at work. My boss wants me to talk to him about one of my patients."

"Oh!" Sonic had swallowed the bait, hook, line, and sinker. Shadow had to stop himself from breathing a sigh of relief. "_That_ sounds fun."

"Yeah, it's a drag, but it can't be helped! So, you see I'm being let off for my lunch break a little later than usual."

"Hmmm. I hope he gives you some extra time!" Sonic observed with a laugh. It seemed he was already settling in again to continue his sleep.

"Me too. Well, go ahead and finish your nap, and I'll call you when I'm done. Sound good?"

"Delicious, babe. Talk to you soon!"

"Bye." Shadow hung up after he heard Sonic sign off on the other end, slipping his phone back into his jacket pocket before striding over to confront his enemy.

The red echidna sat casually at a table for two, sipping an iced green tea. His attire was its usual, except for a crudely-fashioned brown leather braid bracelet he wore around his wrist, proudly displayed atop the folds of his glove.

"Out for a tea, I see,"

Knuckles glanced up, right into the eyes of an angry hedgehog. "Well, well, well, if it isn't Shadow the Hedgehog, my ex boyfriend's knight in shining armor. Nice to see you, too." He was being heavily sarcastic, though it seemed he hadn't touched the drink in quite some time.

"Get out of here." Shadow snarled. "You have no right…"

"Actually, Mr. I-Own-Everything, this," Knuckles waved a fist around the café, "is public property."

"Why are you even _here_, anyway?" Shadow demanded, not even making an effort to hide his distaste.

"Espio's with the Chaotix, doing some detective work Mobius-side." Knuckles explained casually. "He told me I could wait in one of the cafés for him, and I chose this one." He smirked at Shadow, who by now was steaming like a vegetable. "Got a problem with that?"

"Yes, actually," Shadow crossed his arms over his chest, his glare infallible as he tried to intimidate the red animal. "You see, your restraining order against Sonic is still in effect, and—"

"Oh, _Sonic_," Knuckles interrupted, his smirk widening. "_That's_ what this is all about." He took a sip from his green tea, squeezing a lemon into it absently. Shadow was infuriated that his technique of intimidation hadn't worked and he was so close to just tearing the echidna's head off his shoulders. "_Sonic_." Knuckles began to chuckle, as if this were all a joke.

"That's right!" Shadow growled a bit too loudly. Some patrons turned around to look at him. Shadow checked his temper, a flush in his cheeks, as he sat stiffly across from Knuckles. "Unlike you, I value Sonic. I love him."

Knuckles nodded, still chuckling. "_Oh_ _yes_, I remember the way you looked at him during all those early battles. Oh, don't forget, I was Sonic's rival long before he met you. We fought side by side, and as enemies, numerous times. I know things about him you only _hope _he'll reveal to you."

"Untrue!" Shadow snarled, but Knuckles paid him no mind.

"Is it?" Knuckles rubbed his fist against his chest, moving the fur with the back of his hand, blood against his white glove. "I saw the way you looked at him when you picked him up that day. I hear you've been feeding him? Well, like me, you _love_ the way he looks when his body's a certain state." He grinned, almost manically. Shadow, still heaving with anger, could only listen. "You like him well-fed, I like him skinny. Well! As I hear it, you aren't forcing food down his throat; else even _he'd_ be _inflated_ by now! So you aren't going to extremes, as I did," His voice was almost singsong now, as if he was speaking a child's nursery rhyme. "Be that as it may, you're not that different from me after all!"

"_Un__**true**_!" Shadow hissed, his ears flying back in anger.

Knuckles laughed. "After all, as the old song goes: 'They say we can love who we trust/ But what is love without lust?' Am I right?" The echidna smirked again. Shadow clenched his fists in rage, so hard that his fingernails pierced his skin and red stains began to form on his palms.

"Get out," Shadow hissed, his eyes down. "Get out!"

Knuckles sipped his drink again. "You can say you love him all you want. But admit that when you see his butt, you wanna scream,"

"Out," Shadow murmured, tears threatening at the corner of his eyes.

"That when you kiss, you hunger for something more,"

"Get out."

"That when you see him eat a banana or hot dog, you wish it was you inside that warm chasm. That you _want_ to make him rock and moan in bed like he goes when he's hungry. That you wish he was still a virgin, so you could make him yours forever. That—"

"_**GET OUT**_!" Shadow roared.

The activity in the café seemed to stop, although convenient noise of the coffee grinder and some teens singing loudly along with the music playing from the speakers drowned Shadow out. Knuckles rose quietly from the table.

"All right," he said quietly. "I'll leave." As he got up to go, though, he whispered into his ear something which made Shadow want to break out his gun and tear his ears off with rage: "But remember: You were never any better than me at hiding your desires."

_Ooosh! What do y'all think of this one? Lend me your typing skills and review, review, review! Lyrics are the lovely In for the Kill by La Roux, which includes 'that song' Knuckles was talking about. Like I said: please review! It'd make my day!_


	65. Hopes Hung Out

**Hopes Hung Out **

_I hang my hopes out on the line _

_Will they be ready for you in time?_

Sonic was right outside the café, standing and waiting for Shadow to call him.

He knew Shadow had lied to him. He'd gone back to sleep and, while dreaming, had realized that Shadow was lying to him. During his sleep, he thought of a couple of reasons why Shadow might lie to him.

Shadow was cheating on him with another man.

Shadow had been stuck in traffic at the time of the call.

Shadow had decided something at the café was too dangerous to involve Sonic.

The first was closer to impossible than Tails losing one of his fox tails. Shadow found no interest, no joy, in anything but Sonic. And even if he did, which again was highly unlikely, he would never be able to go about it so subtly. He was not exactly one to hide his passions. Besides, Shadow was devoted to Sonic. Even before the blue one had realized he was gay, Shadow had eyes for no other. If anyone was going to do any cheating, and be good at it, it was Sonic.

And the chances of him doing _that_ were nonexistent.

So number one was ruled out.

As for number two, even Sonic had to laugh for using that as an explanation. Shadow's office wasn't more than a fifteen minute walk through crowded city streets from the café. Therapists and psychiatrists and secretaries alike got their coffee from the cozy café. Its non-discriminatory atmosphere invited everyone, young and old. And even if Shadow _could have_ feasibly been stuck in traffic, the atmosphere around him sounded nothing like a traffic jam.

So, with both options ruled out, Sonic had but one more to go off of. But…what could be so dangerous?

Sonic got his answer, for in a fraction of a second, three things happened.

An old lady sitting outside the café under an umbrella at a dirty white plastic table set down her menu and hobbled inside. The door swung open a minte later to admit Knuckles the Echidna, and Sonic sped to hide behind the menu.

Sonic slid into the chair and flipped the menu over his face, peeking cautiously around the plastic-covered edges proclaiming the daily specials. (He dare not look at them—he was going mad with hunger.)

Knuckles was carrying an iced green tea, by the looks of it, a smug smile on his strangely handsome face. Where was he going? And why was he so damn happy about it?

Curious until the day he died, even in the face of sure danger, Sonic raced to follow the echidna…at a very safe distance. He danced into the air upon the umbrellas above him, using them to boost him to the rooftops, where he jogged along, jumping between the low roofs, keeping an eye on the red echidna lost in a sea of people. Even though Sonic's gut twisted and turned until his insides surely looked like a gourd, blue was curious about his ex-boyfriend, fueled by the confidence eating—and Shadow—gave to him.

Knuckles was pulling away from the crowd, heading into a lesser-populated area of the city. Sonic continued to follow, stepping lightly. He was glad now he hadn't eaten much. His shoes made only a faint tmmph on the roofs as he leapt agilely from building to building. The echidna was humming his lovin song. So, he was going to see Espio.

Sonic allowed his constricted insides to unwind so he could breathe again. He was sure his cheeks were pale as death beneath his fur. But his insides tightened again as his cell phone vibrated in his palm. He was holding it in his glove. Was it just a text message? No, for it was continuing to vibrate.

Sonic took a deep breath and sped far enough away from Knuckles that the echidna would never even have guessed he was followed. On a rooftop overlooking the bustling city streets, Sonic picked up the phone, his body tremblig with adrenaline and fear at what he'd just done. "Yello?"

"Sonic!" It was Shadow, all right. "Where are you? I told you to wait for me to call you?" He was shaken, that was for sure. For one thing, he was almost yelling.

Sonic bit his lip. "I couldn't wait, Shads. After I finished my nap, I came here."

Shadow breathed a sigh of relief into the phone. "My gods, you scare me, Sonic! Well, I've taken two menus! Be ready to enjoy the daily special when you get here!"

Sonic chuckled, rocking, his stomach now reminding him that he'd had only a bowl of cereal for breakfast and slept through lunchtime. It was nearly two-thirty now, if he were reading the sun correctly. "Can't wait. I'm mad as a hatter with hunger!"

"See you," Shadow laughed.

"In a flash of wind, darlin." Sonic hung up and tucked his phone back into his glove. He looked back towards Knuckles, wondering about how Espio was getting along with him. He fluffed up his chest fur a little and sped away to the café where Shadow—the symbol of his new life—was waiting for him with a wad of cash and the intention to treat.

_Let's go to war_

_To make peace_

_Let's be cold_

_To create heat_

_I hope in darkness_

_We can see_

_And you're not blinded by the light from me._

_Oooowoo what's next? XD seriously, I have no idea what I should do next. I need to hear from my reviewers! So, keep those fingers busy at the keyboard! And don't let all that turkey slow you down!_

_By the way, Happy Thanksgiving to you and your families. Peace!_

_Lyrics are In for the Kill by La Roux _


	66. Mr Right

_Idea posted by Dragonfire2lm. Keep posting ideas, please!_

_By the way, if I don't use your idea, please don't be insulted. If I'm not using it, it's because I don't see it fitting with the way I imagined the story would go (if that doesn't make me sound hypocritical for asking for ideas in the first place…). _

_But, like I said, please don't be insulted, and if it's not entirely Torn in Two related, you can use it without credit. But the MINUTE you mention Torn in Two, you MUST credit. My computer has eyes. I have "spies" who will track you down and flame you if you don't credit me. Bottom line: just credit me, please, and we won't have a problem. I'm a nice person. Please don't make me yell at you._

_Anyway…enjoy the tale!_

**Mr. Right**

Knuckles finished up the last of his drink and tossed the plastic cup in a nearby trashcan. The Chaotix were working with local police on a theft case that had eluded them for months, as far as Knuckles knew. From what Espio _could_ tell him, since the ninja was bound to keep certain facts under wraps, the crime wasn't the easiest case to solve, nor did the leads go anywhere, like they always did on those entertaining cop shows.

Knuckles burped loudly and turned the corner, only to see the Chaotix walking towards him. Charmy was sitting on Vector's broad shoulders, and the crocodile was boasting in his annoying voice about how he was going to solve the crime tomorrow. Espio, looking morbid as usual, saved his real emotion for the bedroom. Now, with thick black eyeliner making his golden eyes explode in their sockets, black spikes on his ninja gloves, he argued with Vector on several points he wasn't quite correct on.

"You're overlooking the fingerprints, Vector," Espio addressed the crocodile formally as Knuckles walked close enough to hear the conversation. "There were two sets of fingerprints, meaning two suspects."

"Two suspects! Two suspects!" Age couldn't change Charmy's childish disposition, and Knuckles quite frankly expected him to buzz like his furry, real-life counterparts.

"Or that our suspect was very handsy," Vector illustrated, moving his hands in a way that suggested a sexual pose, glancing towards Knuckles. "We won't know until the prints come back."

"I'll take you up on those prints," Espio warned his partner as he greeted Knuckles' gentle hug with a peck on the cheek, his eyelids covered with morbidly dark eye dust. "Hey, baby," he was addressing Knuckles now, accepting the hug and resting effortlessly in his boyfriend's muscular arms.

"We'll be, uh…" Vector seemed awkward in front of the lovers. "We'll be dining in Manic Monday's, if you wanna join us later, Es."

"Kay-eye-es-es-eye-en-gee!" Charmy taunted, rocking on Vector's shoulder.

"No, thanks, Vec. I think we'll stay out of your hair," Espio promised with a laugh, seeing how awkward Vector really was in front of them. Though wholly supportive, obviously, the crocodile still seemed uncomfortable observing _any_ of his buddy's private love affairs, same sex or no. "Feels like Knuckie's got plans."

"You sly ninja," Knuckles purred, nuzzling into Espio's neck and beginning to kiss him there, making the ninja giggle unintentionally. Vector looked away.

"First comes love, then comes marriage!" Charmy sang, kicking his feet and bruising Vector's chest. "Then comes Espio with a baby carriage!"

"That's enough, Charmy," Vector chided. "See you tomorrow, Es."

"I'm waiting on those prints, Vec!" Espio called over his shoulder as the two groups parted ways, Charmy still humming the kissing nursery rhyme.

"Geez, did you cut the balls on him, or something?" Knuckles commented, feigning annoyance, as soon as they were out of the other Chaotix's members' earshot. "Kid's still…a kid."

"Stop!" Espio punched Knuckles' arm playfully. "Charmy will always be Charmy. Vec and I accepted that _years_ ago. So…" He danced his fingers down Knux's beet red shoulder. "Where _are _you taking me tonight, on our adventure of epic proportions?"

"Shall we start with dinner?" Knuckles asked.

"_Yes_. I'm starving!" Espio admitted with a laugh.

"Good, cause I booked a reservation at the River Rock Café."

"Didn't that just open?"

"Aren't I the Guardian of Angel Island?" Knuckles smirked, laughing aloud as he swooped his dazed boyfriend into his arms and took off. "Next stop: Angel Island!"

_Visions in my mind of the day that we met_

_You showed me things that I'll never forget…_

_You had my head up in the clouds_

_Made me feel like I'm floating, yeah_

The River Rock Café was one of the high-end places on the Floating Island. Only the hottest new bands were commissioned to play here, and only those who could pull the best strings could get even a booth for two in the back.

But Knuckles had done more than that. He had rented a luxury box in the upper level, just for the two of them. The box, like opera seats you see in the movies, had plush leather chairs in the front where one could sit and watch the show. Then, behind them, there was a smaller enclosed glass area with a plush loveseat and a red leather recliner with red carpeted floors and a velvet curtain the color of a ripe plum that could be pulled over the glass enclosure for privacy. Entrance was through a single door on the side of the plush seats. And so the glass enclosure didn't feel so isolated, the best speakers around flaunted the music inside the enclosure made for lovemaking. Espio had to smile—they hadn't had a good session since Sonic's stuff was moved to Planet Mobius below.

"You went over the top," Espio scolded, though he was amazed at the same time. "Can you explain to me _how_ this _isn't_ breaking the bank?"

"I paid for the box, and pulled a few strings for a luxury one." Knuckles looked shocked when Espio gave him a look. "What? I can't flaunt my status?"

Espio giggled, snuggling close. "I guess not. When do we eat?"

"Right now." Knuckles led the way to the velvet seats, where, just behind them, a black wooden table was set for two, wine glasses filled with blood-colored Bordeaux. As the centerpiece, a huge turkey shimmering in romantic candlelight sat simmering in its own juices before them.

Espio licked his lips. "Oh my Chaos," he gawked, and then glomped his boyfriend. "You spoil me, Knux! _Oh_!" And he went to sit down before the turkey. Knuckles, grinning madly, cut the turkey and gave half to Espio, and half to himself. The turkey was nothing but bone after only a few minutes—the boys had huge appetites.

"Aww, man," Espio yawned. "I'm stuffed! Who's playing?"

Knuckles tossed back his head, wine glass in hand. "Does it matter?" He rose with the slowness of a Thanksgiving feaster and extended a hand to Espio. "Shall we retire to our private amour for…digestion?"

"You tease," Espio cooed, taking his hand.

Minutes later, the ninja lay sprawled out seductively on his side, facing away from Knuckles, exposing his capable butt. Knuckles gave himself a few moments to lustfully and pleasurably enjoy his boyfriend's sexy body as he closed the drapes. They were alone, but for the soft pulsing of the music against the walls.

Knuckles crossed the room and began to pull and tug Espio's tail, playing with it like a child might, unwinding it only to watch it spring back into place, Espio moaning every time his tail touched his ass in a smack. "Don't torture me, Knux!" He groaned lustfully, feeling himself grow hard. "We haven't had sex in so long, I feel like I'm tight again."

"Mmmm, we need to fix that," Knuckles roughly pulled Espio to the floor and the two men began to kiss passionately, grinding against each other to encourage stimulation, going up and down on the ruby red carpet.

"Mmm, rowdy tonight?" Espio paused to create hickys on the echidna's neck and shoulders. Knuckles moaned and held him to his body. "Ninja like."

Knuckles took over again and threw Espio right to the floo. Unlike Sonic, who cringed at any sign of roughness, and for good reason, Espio didn't flinch. In fact, the rougher Knuckles was, the more he enjoyed it.

…_baby when it's love, if its not rough, it isn't fun_

Knuckles was kissing Espio again, teasing him at his entrance. Espio moved up, forcing Knuckles' hardened cock into him. Knuckles began to rock and moan against him, thrusting harder and harder as Espio stimulated him by touching him all over, especially at his pressure points. They bit each other's lips and traveled to their next's. Soon, Espio came messily all over Knuckles' belly, and Knuckles came right after, exploding out of his entrance and ruining the carpet around him. The two parted, panting.

Out of breath, Espio spoke over a heaving chest. "It's a shame we ruined the rug, though."

Knuckles laughed breathlessly. "I dare to think we're not the first."

"This place _just opened_, Knux. There are _many_ places to have sex in the city."

"Well then," Knuckles gasped, rolling over to grasp hold of his boy's hand, "I can assure you, we won't be the last."

_Ooowoo, it was nice to see those two gettin it on? Oh, I dunno, I only wrote it. Now it's YOUR turn. Leave your comments or questions in my reviews section. The button's right below you, darlings._

_Hope you liked how your idea came out, Dragonfire21m! And I hope it was good enough to inspire more…from everyone!_

_LYRICS ARE:_

_We Ride by Rihanna_

_Poker Face by Lady Gaga_

_P.S. Speaking of lyrics, why is it I find good, dramatic songs AFTER all of the drama is done? Yeesh!_


	67. Not a Word

**Not a Word**

_Part of this idea comes from SonicPwnsAll, and the rest is my own idea that I had for this. Keep reading and reviewing!_

"Sonic! Over here!" Shadow waved from one of the tables closer to the back. Sonic smiled, weaving his way calmly through patrons young and old, unreasonably patient for someone like him. Finally, he slid into the chair across from Shadow, yawned hugely, and contemplated the drink Shadow had ordered him.

"It's raspberry peach iced tea," Shadow explained when he saw Sonic looking curiously at the dark pink color of the drink. "No caffeine, no alcohol."

"Both are always good to hear," Sonic mused thoughtfully, surrendering to his thirst and taking a long drink. "How's work?"

"Boring," Shadow replied with a sigh, loosening his tie. Sonic opened the menu and started perusing it, where his eyes fell marked by his gloved finger.

"Mmmm. And did your business meeting happen to be at the café?"

Shadow almost choked on his vanilla latte. _Oooohhh_, he knew, all right. He hadn't swallowed the bait after all! Shadow had to marvel at how clever Sonic was…and had to wonder what Sonic thought of the situation. He rushed to defend himself, his heart racing, fearing rejection. "I—I'm sorry! I wasn't _here_ with anyone, I just…!"

Sonic chuckled, waving him off, his eyes not once leaving the menu. "No, it's okay. I understand."

Shadow cocked his head, his red eyes curious. "I don't follow."

"I saw Knuckles come out," Sonic stirred his drink absently with his straw, watching a droplet of water dance down the side of the tall glass. He wasn't about to mention that he followed Knuckles. Whether or not it was pure curiosity that did it. "I figured you might feel the need to protect me."

"Aww, Sonic…"

"Not that I don't appreciate the protection," Sonic interrupted, glancing up at his boyfriend. Suddenly, his gloved hands were holding Shadow's in a warm embrace. Shadow, shocked by the contact, sighed dreamily. "I do. And I need it!" He laughed. "My body isn't ready for a scuffle with Knuckles!" Shadow had to smile at Sonic's unintentional rhyme. He was also elated Sonic appreciated his effort to protect him. "But, next time, couldjya _tell_ me instead of attempting to be secret about it? Hmmm?" He stroked the underside of Shadow's chin with one finger, and then withdrew. "Well! I dunno about you, but _I am_ _**starving**_! I slept through my _own_ lunch hour, here." He smiled when Shadow looked shocked.

"I'm surprised you can do that," ebony teased. "Ignore that planet-devourer you call a stomach."

"Hey, hey, be nice." Sonic warned playfully. "I try my best. May I take your order? Or gods-may-care?"

"Gods-may-care," affirmed Shadow with a laugh. "Order me a turkey club, or something."

"Will do," Sonic replied. "Waitress Sonic will be back in a flash!" And with an annoying smile and a meaningless gesture, he was off.

Shadow watched him go through the crowd, watching those hips sway that seductive butt until he lost sight of his cobalt love. He was expecting Sonic to eat as heartily as he did at home, so he'd brought a large amount of cash. He was still trying to wrap his brain around Sonic's intelligence. How could one who acted so stupid, _be_ so smart? It baffled him.

Meanwhile, Sonic was ordering at the counter. He had already ordered Shadow a turkey club, but was confused as to what to get himself. He had been meaning to order the special of the day, but after reading about it, he decided to skip it. Instead, he ordered himself a six-inch meat sub with oregano and black olives and paid with money Shads had handed to him. After all, no matter how hungry he really was, he wasn't about to make a pig out of himself in public. That was more than a social no-no.

It was a social _nightmare_.

Ordering an extremely large amount of food, just for yourself, seemed piggish at the least. It made people stare at you. Which was why, despite his belly's protests, he went with a small sub.

When he brought the food back to the table, however, Shadow seemed discouraged, and Sonic couldn't imagine why. He slid in across from Shadow with a wave and, upon opening his package, set to his meal at a fairly slow rate. Shadow was used to watching Sonic's food disappear second by second, and he was alarmed by Sonic's slowed pace.

"What's the matter?" He asked, genuinely concerned, reaching a comforting hand towards Sonic's shoulder. "Don't you feel good? Are you sick?"

Sonic laughed, retrieving a piece of smoked ham that fell out of the sub. "I'm _fine_, Shads."

Shadow felt Sonic's forehead for fever, ignoring his own lunch in the process. Sonic wriggled away from his touch, giggling. "Eat your lunch, Shadzy," he scolded. "I'm right as rain, and never better!"

"If you _were_, love," Shadow argued gently, "you'd be eating larger portions. Now tell me what's wrong so I can help!" His red eyes shone with genuine concern that very nearly brought him to tears. He was shaking in an effort to control his emotions.

Sonic shook his head, blushing. "You're making a scene. There's nothing wrong with me. Now eat your sandwich." He seemed on-edge, cornered. Sonic's eyes darted from side to side, his sandwich, for the most part uneaten, lay upon the table.

Shadow tried to do that, but his mouth watered looking at his own sandwich, reminding him he didn't have any breakfast. His stomach grumbled hollowly in his chest, and Sonic, who had been busy people watching out of the generous window, turned and smiled at him.

"Eat, Shadow."

"But—!" Shadow had about as good of an argument lined up as a kindergartener begging for a toy, and he knew this, so he shut up before he embarrassed himself. Sonic chuckled and took the dark one's cheek in his palm.

"Conservative's the word, Shads. Now, shhh, and eat your meal. I'll have to make you hot oatmeal for breakfast from now on!" He scolded, but lovingly, before turning back to the window to people watch.

Shadow went back to eating, trying to listen for Sonic's stomach.

But he couldn't hear a thing.


	68. Special of the Day

**Special of the Day**

"I think you really _are_ sick, Sonic," Shadow announced as he closed the door behind him. "Good thing I ordered catering."

Sonic had bent down and was playing with Jamie, who had come to greet him. "If you think I'm sick, you don't know me very well," he teased. "I'm not prone to simple illness."

"You didn't eat," Shadow pointed out, concerned as he leaned against the door. "I'm worried about you."

Sonic shrugged. "Exotic pets in the old days were starved once a week for the good of their stomachs…and probably their appetites." He rose. "Why can't the same principal apply here, to _me_?"

Shadow groaned. "You're _not_ an exotic _pet_! Last time I checked, you didn't _want _to be contained. What, did you change your mind in…give or take a week? Hmm?" He chuckled, coming towards Sonic. "And I want to weigh you. I need to know how healthy you really are."

"Aww, I look it!" Sonic protested, following Shadow into the kitchen. "Isn't that enough?"

"No," Shadow reasoned firmly, setting a box of sugar down on the counter with a thud. "I want to be sure." He eyed Sonic with his blood red beauties, trying to determine if Sonic was tempted by the revealed sugar. To his dismay, Sonic didn't seem too distressed.

The blue hedgehog was smug as ever. "You don't set a good enough example. The most I've weighed in my short life is around eighty-eight pounds. But you'll never get me there again, so don't try."

"What made you eighty-eight?" Shadow prodded, curious. He was already calculating how he could duplicate this weight _now_. A controlled experiment.

Sonic frowned. "You can't make it happen, so don't try."

"Just tell me. I'm insatiably curious."

"Fill your stomach with another substance."

Shadow laughed hard. "Tell me anyway. You know you will."

Sonic rolled his eyes. "Lucky for you, I can't resist your bloody eyes. All right, I'll sing." He pinched the bridge of his muzzle, as if he couldn't believe he was about to disclose this. "What did it was—" But he was interrupted by the doorbell ringing.

Shadow immediately went to attend to it. Sonic, considering himself lucky for having avoided interrogation, plopped down on the couch. He was starting to feel slightly misaligned—weak. And he didn't want to admit to Shadow that it was his stomach making him feel so drained. It rumbled softly, and he covered it by drawing his knees to his chest, refusing to drool as Shadow brought a delicious-smelling cardboard box into the kitchen.

Seconds later, Shadow produced a stuffed sausage the size of a small turkey. It was the same rusty red as a hot dog, but more than twice as big, both around and by height. Sonic's legs dropped and so did his jaw. His lips moistened and his eyes widened. "Where…?" He stammered in disbelief.

Shadow grinned at Sonic's obvious pleasure. "The café we just came from. This is their special of the day: Meat-Stuffed Sausage. A large, slightly spicy sausage, stuffed with eggs, beef franks, turkey burgers, sliced cured ham, steak, and assorted bird meats."

Sonic's eyes were as wide as saucers. "How much did this cost you?" He began flippantly, but his moistened lips had already given him away. He wanted it, long before his mouth could come up with a suitable remark.

"Let me worry about that." Shadow placed the platter unceremoniously on Sonic's lap with a waitress' smile and turned to the television. He heard Sonic devouring the thing in the background as he studied local news and weather reports, and this alone pleasured him. He had to remember to keep his cock well-trained for the sake of his weak blue love.

With a contented burp, Sonic had successfully tucked away the entire oversized sausage. His own euphoria amazed him.

Sonic felt warm and secure, at a level of drowsy comfort he hadn't been able to touch with his fingertips in too long. He smoothed his hand over his satisfied, raised tummy, and smiled. His belly was already busy digesting the large meal. His smacked his lips once or twice, to again taste the filling meaty treat, wondering as he looked at the empty plate before him, if he really _had_ put away the entire sausage in a matter of twenty-something bites. His eyelids grew heavy, and he moved to curl up on the couch.

His eyes flowed closed too easily, and his slumber for that night remained undisturbed.


	69. Detecting

**Detecting**

Shadow knocked on the bedroom door. "Sonic? Can I come in?"

"No."

Shadow leaned his weight against the door, thinking hard. "_May_ I come in?"

"No."

"_Sonic_!" Shadow hissed out in exasperation. "You've been locked in there since nine, and you haven't eaten yet."

"I'm detecting," Sonic responded peacefully. "Digesting would only slow me down."

"Even Siddhartha Gautama reasoned it is easier to think satisfied than hungry," Shadow reasoned in his therapist voice.

"Shh, you're disturbing me."

"I have keys to all these rooms."

"It isn't locked, you know." There was a smirk in Sonic's voice. "You could've come in at any time."

Shadow flushed, feeling stupid. He put his hand on the doorknob, and flicked his wrist to turn it, gingerly entering the bedroom.

Sonic was lying on his back on the bed, eyes peacefully closed. One leg was crossed over the other at the ankles, and his hands lay placed just at the base of his chest, as if he were posed for a funeral. But, he was breathing, his form as still as it would ever get, in life. His eyelids twitched as Shadow came near, and he adjusted his legs automatically by curling them towards him to allow Shadow to sit beside him.

There was silence, but for Sonic's gentle, sleepy breathing, for as long as Shadow could bear.

"Is that why you don't eat much on adventures?"

"Hmm?"

"The digesting…?"

"Not necessarily. It's more like availability and time."

"Explain."

"Some other time, perhaps. I'm weary of talking food." Sonic stated tiredly, his stomach rumbling dully.

Silence anew.

"What are you detecting about?" Shadow wondered, at length.

Sonic smirked, obviously pleased to have evaded the topic of food. "Things."

"What sorts of things?"

"_Complicated_ things," Sonic elaborated.

"Oh, very well," Shadow huffed, lying down beside his boyfriend, his head propped up on one arm as he faced him. "What sort of _complicated_ things are you detecting?"

"_Ah_!" Sonic's eyes shot open, a movement so swift, Shadow blinked. In that blink, Sonic was up by the mirror, studying his reflection, testing different poses, feeling himself like he hadn't dared to do in front of Shadow in quite some time. His green eyes perused his form skeptically, and Shadow realized, as blue sifted through his fur, that he was looking for markings of his abuse.

"I can show you where to find them," Shadow rose slowly. He had made a mental map of Sonic's body—the part hidden by fur—long ago, and stored it, making notes on it every time they came in contact with each other. He knew the bruises, scratches, burns, hickys, scars, better than Sonic knew them himself. "If you want to see them,"

Sonic didn't answer. He was massaging his belly, cringing from his own ticklishness, looking for something. Shadow had to wonder which welt he was looking for. Sonic had three large welts on his stomach, as well as seventeen tender bruises near his belly button and around his ribcage, which were healing fast now. Sonic had more energy to put towards healing, especially since he was now eating meat.

Sonic moved his hands around his shoulders, his neck, watching his mirrored eyes the whole time. He shivered once, quite visibly, and turned towards Shadow. "I found out the truth," he mused, almost in a whisper. It sounded strangely fearful to Shadow, though Sonic's eyes were little less than calm. "I found out the truth…and I don't feel well."

Shadow blinked, and he was gone. The dark hedgehog pulled himself into the wind after his boyfriend, concerned about his running. Sonic traveled a few meters faster hungry, burning many more calories than he should on empty. Sonic hadn't touched food all day, as before stated.

He found blue in the kitchen, drinking from a liter bottle of medicinal soda, used to calm upset tummies. Sonic was quiet, pensive, the bottle half gone. He took another swig as Shadow relaxed against the kitchen table.

"Are you sick?" Shadow asked with worry, remembering Sonic's hesitance to eat sometime back at the café. "Are you coming down with something?"

Sonic chuckled, shaking his head. He moved to sit, carrying the bottle with him, his belly sloshing with the contents. Shadow moved away from the table. Sonic placed the bottle at his feet and put his head into his arms. At first, the noise sounded like tears, but Sonic tossed his head back…in sudden maniacal laughter. Something was funny, and Shadow was confused.

"Sonic…?" Shadow mused, concerned. "I don't understand, honey."

Sonic, shaking with laughter still, reached for the pad and pen Shadow kept in the kitchen for grocery lists and phone numbers. He tore out a page and scribbled on it, handing it over to Shadow whilst still laughing uncontrollably.

Shadow's hands shook with rage as he held the paper, reading it three times over before crumpling the paper up. With the worst cursed oath he could think of, he violently tossed the crumbled ball of paper at the far wall, leaving it on the floor for Jack to play with.

Those four words alone had managed to infuriate him anew.


	70. After So Long

**After So Long**

_Take a breath, take it deep…_

_I'm sweating now, moving slow_

_No time to think, my turn to go_

"I need to see him," Sonic pleaded. They were bathing Jamie together the next day. Sonic had fasted all day yesterday, all day today. Between two days, he'd eaten only three breakfast bars, two apples, and six strips of bacon, not to mention several dozen sodas. It wasn't enough, and Shadow blamed Knuckles.

"No." Shadow clenched his teeth. The thought of seeing Knuckles again floored him with anger…and apprehension. Knuckles knew about Shadow's lust. What if he told Sonic?

"I…need to ask him…if I'm right." Sonic looked innocently up at Shadow, and then busied himself tending to Jamie. His gentle hands kept soap out of her soulful eyes. "There can't be any secrets. I want to know. And I want to know why."

"I understand," Shadow forced out reluctantly. "But…" he shivered, thinking of his shaky memories of Maria on the A.R.K. "…some answers are better left untouched."

Sonic touched him, understanding in his searching green eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "but this is something I need to know…despite the hurt. You should know…it's an injury, not to know."

Shadow sighed, taking Sonic's damp hands. "I…I know." He looked into Sonic's eyes with his ruby red ones, touching his forehead against Sonic's. "This is different somehow. And I wonder how it will effect you."

"I did, too," Sonic replied softly, reluctantly turning his attention back to Jamie, to lift her out of the tub and place her in a towel. "Get the hairdryer—and I think…" he set Jamie on his lap and held the hairdryer near her body, glancing up at Shadow. "I still need to know."

The ebony hedgehog ran a hand through his quills and sighed, drying them on a clean towel. "I'll call him."

Sonic barely listened to his love's voice, calling Knuckles' house. He pretended to keep a firm and watchful eye on Jamie as she played in her towels. He greeted Cream, off from school today, as she came to watch Jack and Jamie. Then, he got into Shadow's arms and prepared himself for the ascent.

He felt strangely like he was going to heaven.

_And I'm terrified but I'm not leaving_

_Know that I must pass this test_

_So just pull the trigger_

Sonic felt ill right from the first moment his sneakers touched the grass on Angel Island. This place was paradise to those who lived there, but for Sonic, it represented living hell. There was the house, right on top of the hill. Sonic felt faint as they walked, and Shadow steadied him as they went.

Knuckles and Espio were smoking cigarettes in a patch of sunlight right outside the house. High hedges and vines now adorned the house Sonic had once lived in. The blue hedgehog shivered visibly, though it was quite warm under the sun. The two lovers were kissing and laughing, swapping cigarettes and blowing smoke in each other's faces. Sonic steadied himself against Shadow, while the dark one looked on in disgust and reigned-in rage.

Knuckles happened to notice the two whilst laughing and turned on his heel towards them. The crude brown leather bracelet was still displayed on his wrist, and Espio had a slightly better-made one on his purple wrist as well. "Ha! Well, well, well, if it isn't Beauty and the Fuck. Nice of you to show." He took a drag from his cigarette and blew it in the direction of the two hedgehogs. Sonic jumped, clawing into Shadow's arm, as if the smoke would poison him on contact.

"Y-you traded fur for scales," Sonic quipped fearfully, drawing close to Shadow's side.

Knuckles crossed one arm over his chest, the other holding his tobacco roll, sizing Sonic up. "And I see you've let yourself go, Sonic," he mused, smirking mischievously, his violet eyes sparking. "You're fat."

That word alone made Sonic's throat tighten, and a heat came in his throat from holding back bile. Espio was shocked, for he wasn't blind. By no one's definition, except Knuckles' apparently, was Sonic _**fat**_! But no one's reactions were as fast as Shadow's.

The dark hedgehog roughly pulled Sonic behind him protectively, his quills straight in his anger. He hissed, baring his pearly white canines. "You little _shit_," he snarled. "How _**dare**_ you call Sonic fat! He is _not_, by anyone's definition but an anorexic's _**fat**_!" Shadow spit the word like a bad taste on his tongue. "Look who's talking, _you fat __**FUCK**_!" The dark hedgie's scream echoed throughout the island. Knuckles only smirked as Espio disappeared into thin air. Sonic was cowering behind Shadow, shivering uncontrollably. A thick sweat had begun beneath his fur.

The one whom that insult had meant to effect…was not affected at all.

"Watch your language, you non-toxic _beast_." Knuckles retorted effortlessly. Shadow's ears stiffened and his eyes narrowed. "I wasn't called here to be insulted. I was called here by my boy…and I'm sure he can speak for himself." Knuckles beckoned Sonic with a finger. Blue hesitated. Then, with limbs shaking, he slowly emerged to stand next to Shadow, still gripping his shoulder with both hands.

"He's _**mine**_," Shadow growled possessively. "And don't you forget it, wise-ass."

"_HA_!" Knuckles spat, glaring at Shadow. Then, in a slightly nicer tone, he looked upon Sonic again. "Got a fever?" He asked sweetly, advancing a single step. "You look pale. It's too much food in you, you know." He kept advancing. "That much food isn't good for you. Shadow's overfeeding you, isn't he? Well now, come. Say what it is you need to say to me and be done with it. I've got an afternoon fuck waiting on me." He was an arm's length from Sonic, but blue had cowed away behind Shadow's back. The dark hedgehog began to feel pity and concern for his love. Sonic was indeed shaking like a leaf.

_Say a prayer to yourself_

_He says close your eyes_

_Sometimes it helps_

_And then I get a scary thought_

_That he's here means he's never lost_

Sonic swallowed and stood up behind Shadow's back, barely able to keep eye contact with Knuckles, but, gods-love-him, he did it. With much nauseating effort on his part. "Y-you cheated on m-me with Espio." Sonic began.

Knuckles seemed to backtrack. He took a step back, eyes reading suspicion and surprise. "Yeah, what's it to ya?" He was maintaining his tough guy act quite well.

"You did, then." Sonic seemed to relax. "Right?"

"Yeah, fucker. What's it to ya?" Knuckles spit into the grass, rubbing it in with his toe.

Sonic smoothed down his chest fur, shivering a little yet. "Why?"

Knuckles grew silent for a minute. He drew the cigarette to his mouth, took a long drag and let the smoke free. Finally, he looked at Sonic with something resembling a drunk sincerity in his eyes and on his face. "You weren't enough for me." He answered at last, his eyes skyward. The pretense had fallen off. It seemed he was just plain old Knuckles again. "I knew I was losing you to Shadow, and I tried desperately to keep you with me. That didn't work, of course, though I tried every extreme I knew. You were already lost to him long before we began dating. I was heartbroken, lost. I found Espio, and we…" he sighed. And then, aware he was about to reveal his private love life, looked at Sonic blankly. "Well, the rest is written history."

Sonic nodded, as if he understood, but shadow had no idea where this "history" of Knuckles' was "written," if anywhere.

Then, something occurred to him.

"The wounds," he whispered. But Sonic and knuckles were engaged with each other, and neither one was listening to him. Sonic used his love as a shield, and knuckles was trying to break the brick wall between them.

"Thank you," Sonic replied, feeling faint. "That's all I needed." He kissed Shadow's cheek and then his neck. "Take me home," he ordered, holding out his arms like a toddler, indicating Shadow could now pick him up. Ebony moved like a robot, scooping Sonic into his arms. Blue nestled under Shadow's neck, watching Espio reappear. The chameleon was whispering something to Knuckles, but Sonic didn't care about it.

"You've been saying he's yours for some time now, haven't you?" Sonic was addressing Knuckles, but he indicated to Espio with his head. "Now, he really is."

With that, Shadow skated to the edge of Angel Island and jumped off. Sonic's sweat began again and he felt sick.

The blue hedgehog was passed out long before they hit the ground.

…_you can see my heart beating_

_You can see it through my chest_

**Lyrics:**

Russian Roulette-Rihanna

_Part of this idea was SonicPwnsAll's. So, c'mon, people. I still need help with ideas, here._


	71. Fever Flame

**Fever Flame**

"Would you relax already?" Sonic stifled a yawn in his sheets, eyeing Shadow bustling about the bedroom sleepily.

"Was it worth it? Was it really worth it?" Shadow muttered irritably, loudly and grumpily enough for Sonic to hear clearly. "You got your answers, _now_, hedgehog, and then you fall ill. So, was it worth it?"

"Yes," Sonic replied, smiling faintly. Shadow was right. Standing up to Knuckles gave Sonic supreme backlash…in the form of a very, very high fever.

The thermometer in Sonic's mouth beeped and Shadow fetched it. "One-thirty. Sonic! That's enough to _kill_ someone!" Shadow looked nervously at his boyfriend, trembling in his worry.

Sonic chuckled. "Don't fever-sweat it, Shads." He closed his eyes as his head swam and leaned back into his pillows, already damp with sweat. "I can operate much hotter."

"You're very sexy." Shadow blushed.

Sonic shook his head sleepily, his body shaking beneath the covers. "No, no, my body temperature. Sometimes, when I'm running in hot places, the friction from my moving legs ups my temperature a bit. I can get as—" here, he paused to yawn, "—hot as one-ten, and it won't make me feverish at all."

"So…your one-thirty is like my one-ten."

"Bingo, twenty points for Shadow." Sonic arched beneath the covers, flexing his fingers and ankles gone sleepy from misuse. He'd been abed since early this morning, but his fever had technically started the day before.

Shadow breathed a sigh of relief, just glad to know Sonic wasn't as sick as he'd thought. Blue's survival was as important to him as protecting the ARK had been all those years before. Geez, it really _did_ seem like forever ago when he and Sonic had defeated Biolizard together in space! "Such a long time…" he mused.

"Anyway," Sonic stretched his arms out above the covers, grabbing a sweatsuit from the headboard and dressing in the most clothes he'd probably ever wear. The sweatpants were far too big for him—he could slip his feet inside and walk easily in that fashion—and the only way they could possibly stay on was courtesy of the hole made for his crescent-shaped rodent tail. He pulled the string taut and tied it in a knot, but even the tightest it went was still a few sizes too big for Sonic. The sweatshirt was all right, however, and Sonic indulged in it.

He looked silly in the tracksuit, and Shadow had to giggle…before he worried about Sonic being out of bed. Sapphire stumbled, uneasy on his feet, because his fever made his head heavy. But aside from a little wobbling, he seemed all right. Despite, Shadow was concerned.

"Easy, easy," Shadow cautioned, catching him. "You _should _be in bed."

"And you _should_ be at work," Sonic chided easily. "Chillax, Shads. I've had fevers before."

"Which still worries me greatly. And by the way," Shadow replied, flippant, "_I_ have seven unused sick days. So, take _that_!"

"You're getting immature," Sonic scolded with a sneaky smile. "You'd better stop listening to me."

"Why don't we discuss my immaturity…" Shadow teased Sonic around the midsection, "…in bed?"

"I may be feverish, but I'm no dummy," Sonic reminded him. Shadow laughed.

"Not even a little rise from you! Damn, you can get me! Gimme a rise!"

Sonic nipped Shadow's nuzzle. "Rude! Now shush."

Shadow jumped, taken aback by the bite. He pulled Sonic close to his body, forehead against forehead. He felt the sweat from blue's body flow into his fur, dampening his own forehead until he felt the sweat was his own. Sonic was shy in this pose, his eyes darting from side to side in their feverish sockets. The white of his eyes looked pearly, like graphics in a video game. The emerald eyes were an explosion of rippling grass on the surface of gently swaying waters. Shadow's mind rushed like a train, and exploded in his ears.

_He's hot! He's __**gorgeous**__!_ Shadow's mind exclaimed. And the dark one agreed with his mind, however lustful, that second. He kept Sonic there, facing him, hands grasping his upper arms, waiting for something, for nothing, to happen.

Their eyes met. Sonic's were enough to hypnotize. They looked like a green precious stone beneath rippling waves. The black in the center widened and fell away, confused by the temperature of their master. Then, slowly, Sonic grasped on to Shadow, too.

"You want me," Sonic breathed, his breath like soft wind stirring flowers. "I know your dreams. You want to be with me. You want to make me cum till it burns and I'm screaming your name." His sweat intensified. "My eyes under fever…beautiful, I know. Enchanting, like a unicorn, hmm? They can plead, but they can't command—not these eyes. These eyes are like a damsel in distress. A lady in bed, naked. For you, a man. For you, me." Sonic touched Shadow's cheek, his eyes swimming with unintended tears. "Will you come to me? Do you come _for_ me? You know, you can't love me until you know everything _that love_ demands." Sonic hugged Shadow around his neck. He had the dark one too spellbound to utter a word. Shadow eased into the welcome affection like a ragdoll. "It demands shelter from harm. And I don't think I've ever wanted this before…protection. A love that isn't purely physical." He looked at Shadow, realizing that the red eyes were watching his infallibly, but these same eyes were struck dumb. Shadow wasn't listening.

Sonic could've gotten mad, but instead, he got passionate. He kissed Shadow deeply, his moist, sweaty lips crushing against Shadow's. Ebony was shocked by the intensity of the kiss, but quickly surrendered to it, to their first deep kiss in quite some time.

And, despite Sonic's fever, everything was right in the world.


	72. Naughty

_Yeah…if you're still in the spirit of Christmas…be warned. What you are about to read is not necessarily good cheer._

_~Sylvie_

_P.S. I'm not actually doomy-gloomy! Which…is maybe sad, since I'm writing this…? Anyway…onward!_

**Naughty**

" '_Are you really going mad if you gotta ask? I think I read that somewhere once. If you're questioning your sanity, you must still have it….This __**is**__ insanity. No questions asked.' "- __Batman: Dead to Rights_

Sonic had never taken refuge in mental dilapidation. He had never considered himself to be truly going insane. Maybe what he did as a hero—risking his life for countless people he didn't know, what used to be daily—maybe _that_ was insanity defined? I mean, normal people didn't do that. If they did, Sonic wouldn't have been standing against a mechanical fiend that weighed his own meager mass times ten thousand, if not more than that, alone. Everyone with the ability to fight would be fighting with him…right?

So maybe Sonic wasn't all that sane to begin with. Maybe Superman wasn't entirely sane either. Then again, many superheroes begin because of a tragic event. Batman's parents, killed right in front of him, gunned down by a robber, Superman's entire planet…his family and race…gone. But we don't consider those people insane. At least…it's not an insanity that _hurts_ people.

If insanity was for the weak-minded, and the serial murderers portrayed by excellent actors on cop shows, then what about extremely intelligent insane people? Shadow. Shadow had been insane once, Sonic reminded himself, his eyes hurting from staring at the tv too long. He'd killed a lot of innocent people, trying to fill the void of loneliness inside his heart. The void left by Maria, only filled, probably, by love for another, an outsider to the pain. Another person just as insane as he was…just not dangerously so.

Sonic.

But now, Sonic feared he was becoming dangerously insane. He sat on the closed top of the toilet, watching the shower water running until the steam blinded him. Every drop of water that hit the (was it tile? Ceramic?) floor of the shower was a fist that had come down on his back, his neck, his head. Was a knife slash at the collarbone, below the neck, on the back, across his soft chest and stomach. Never meant to kill, but very educated in maiming was this hand. Never with a gun, thank the gods—_some_one was watching over him—but good enough with brute strength alone. Knuckles had always been "good enough" at his job. Who was the first to combat Sonic when his morals fought against his own? The one whom Sonic would have to fight for the good of the team, a planet, the universe. Their world.

Sonic had always been good at saving others. Saving himself was something else entirely. Sonic needed help with that one. Was _still_ receiving help with that one. Friends, family, his little niece and nephew, his lovable dog, cat, and boyfriend—these had kept him from insanity.

But Espio—oh, Espio! Scales for fur, indeed! And better treatment! The ninja had run fat, Sonic knew, because ninjas lived off very little, and Espio's thinness rivaled Sonic's on a good day. Or a bad one, in Sonic's case. The chameleon's sickening smile, the innocence in him as he played with gothic makeup, fake piercings, cigarettes that might kill slowly, all those things. As he forgot about his ninja arts. Maybe he was going on a diet now. He'd seemed thinner, when last they met. Perhaps Knuckles was encouraging him to diet, that bastard. With Sonic, it hadn't been encouragement as much as it had been force. Force that had been applied roughly.

Sonic put his fingers at his neck, almost willing himself to feel the imprints. There were new hickys there, to replace the old pain, loving kisses made by Shadow to mark him as his love, his "prize," but these were tolerable. How many times had the red hands touched his neck, squeezed it like a toy's, and never let go. How many times had Sonic been inches away from death in this way?

Oh, what a sickening smile was on his face that day. What sort of fear lived in Sonic's veins for this moment. Yes, he'd been able to follow Knuckles at a distance, costing him a temporary loss of appetite. No, not that—a temporary loss of will to eat. That was it. Sonic's appetite hardly ever waned, and that came hard these days. He licked his lips, then, faintly hungry—even after a meal that would keep at least two people sated for a week. Yes, he'd been able to pursue Knuckles, to taunt him (which had little effect, due to Sonic's own trembling), at the cost of high fever. Sonic was down to about 103. Still enough to shiver, but not enough to feel too under the weather. He was better, and not up to the old 'starve a fever' trick.

Sonic sighed noisily into his pillow. Shadow was fast asleep next to him, snoring away, but Sonic couldn't sleep a wink. He was tired, but not enough to sleep in the dark. He sat up and looked at the mirror in the dark. "Eggman?" He whispered inaudible. For a moment, he thought he saw the genius' glasses reflected in the looking glass, but it could've been a trick of the low lighting. "Tell me, tell me, tell me something I don't know," Sonic's body began to ache. Yes, yes, that was it. Why had he ached after becoming Dark super Sonic? Why had he felt so hurt, so put-out, even while Eggman was talking to him? That was it—the pain of being bad. Sonic was just so much the ultimate good, that being bad…made him ache. Maybe that was why jealousy, deep hatred, just blew on past him. Because to linger in it would hurt?

Sonic's body shook with revulsion. He felt like he'd just eaten rotten garbage for dinner. He sat up on the bed, staring at his own eyes in the mirror. "Tell me, tell me something I don't know. Tell me, teach me…" He sighed. "Can you tell me—and gods protect me in my pursuit—can you tell me…how to be…" he stopped himself, the term not rolling off his tongue but forced. It was harder to say this word than it was to throw up, for him. "…how to be…_naughty_?"


	73. I Love You, Too

**I Love You, Too**

Sonic's fever had been reduced to a comfortable 99.8. Though he was still a little "out there," as feverish people tend to be, it was easier for him to function. Easier for him to be hungry.

Before, when his fever had first been reduced, he'd nibbled. Now, he wanted to actually eat. Shadow was so happy that Sonic could finally eat again that he felt like he was going to cry.

He wanted to celebrate with a feast. Sonic was happy to oblige, although Shadow had more reasons than one to watch Sonic eat a huge meal.

As it was, the blue hedgehog was sitting in deep thought at the kitchen table, his legs itching as if he was eager to get out of some imprisonment. He jiggled his legs uneasily beneath the table, combing his fur with his fingers. Shadow stood at the counter, jotting down things he needed to get at the supermarket. All was quiet, until Sonic straightened from his slouch. "Shadow?"

"Mmm?" The black hedgehog, though attentive, was busy.

"I…I need to talk to you," Sonic squeezed his upper arm with one gloved hand, the other hanging limply at his side. "It's important."

"Sure, okay." Shadow stopped what he was doing, letting the pencil roll askew. His ruby eyes were stern and energetic. He was listening with every inch of his body. Even with the casualness of his statement, Sonic knew and appreciated this.

"Okay, here goes…" Sonic took a deep breath. "I'm sorry—now before you interrupt," he held up a finger, catching Shadow's intake of breath that he was about to reply with, "I have to get this out. I'm sorry…for never telling you how much I love you…" His eyes were getting wet very quickly, even as he spoke the words. He looked at the ground and rubbed his arm furiously. "I'm sorry for being stupid and paranoid. For ruining our one chance in bed because of stupid _fear_…most of all for never telling you enough how _thankful_ I really am to you. For…everything, really. For saving me, for loving me, for, heck, even for feeding me!" He chuckled bashfully, rising and slowly crossing the room to hold Shadow to him. "You're the only one I ever loved, Shadow. Ever. Thank you for showing me that. I know I never tell you enough, and I wish I had the time and sense to do so. I'm sorry for fearing you, I'm sorry for hating you, I'm sorry for making you _cry_...that in itself is a great feat."

Shadow smiled, resting his chin atop Sonic's head as he held him close. Sonic's body was warm from fever, cold with sweat, his neck and cheeks wet from fever sweats. "You don't have to be sorry, Sonic."

"Worst of all, I'm sorry we can't be physical like I know Knuckles and Espio are. I love you so much, but…" Sonic sighed against Shadow's chest fur, gripping it and closing his eyes like a frightened child, as if he could make the world go away by losing himself in the feel of the coarse black fur, the musky, manly smell for a few crucial moments. "But…I'm afraid, however stupid that may be. I'm dumb, I don't know the first _thing_ about relationships anymore! So, I'm sorry." His voice trembled, as if he would cry. "Sorry, sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry," Shadow soothed, stroking Sonic from ears to shoulders to calm him. "So you were afraid. Everyone fears different things, and quite frankly, your fears are understandable, especially to a psychiatrist like me. Forgive _me_ for not seeing that!"

Sonic listened, quiet against Shadow's chests, his sobs fading fast from the calming attention.

"And as for our first lovemaking, that was my fault, not yours. You told me one simple rule, and I didn't listen. You were right to kick me and leave."

Sonic glanced up at him. "Really?" He sniffed.

Shadow smiled. "Yes. Haven't I made it clear that you cannot blame yourself for your abuse?"

"Mmm," Sonic lay back down against Shadow. It was admittedly nice to be cuddled. He'd missed that simple display of affection these past years.

"And," Shadow went on, "as for relationships, you've taught me something I would've never comprehended on my own. That there are two kinds of relationships, physical and emotional. An emotional relationship is important—as a student of emotions, I should know that." Sonic smiled into Shadow's fur at that. "An emotional relationship can be physical, but contact is not all that must exist in a relationship. Love and duty to the other person is the only way one can be fair in a relationship—you taught me that, Sonic."

Blue reached up and draped his arms around Shadow's neck, moving his head wearily to the black and red shoulder. "Did I?" He wondered in a feverish murmur.

"Yes, you certainly did," Shadow affirmed with a chuckle. "You taught me that love isn't about sex. It isn't about coming, it isn't about making your lover scream your name, it isn't about _your_ pleasure! What is that old quote? 'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.' "

"Awww," Sonic gave Shadow a kiss on the cheek. "That was beautiful, hon."

Shadow smiled, filled with the most emotion he'd felt in months. "It's something you helped me realize is true. Nothing in that quote says that love is sex."

Sonic laughed. "Try telling that to Knux!" Then, upon realizing what he had said, drew close to Shadow again, so that there was barely enough room for a ghost between them. Shadow squeezed him close.

"I'm elated that you're feeling better, love," He began, to change the topic. "What shall I get you? Any special requests?"

Sonic shook his head at Shadow's shoulder. "No. Only that you bring me something good."

Shadow laughed once. "Duly noted."

"Shadow?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"I…I love you."

Shadow watched Sonic's eyes for a moment. Then, in a low whisper, he said: "I love you, too."

They kissed, then, and the spell was broken. Shadow took the car and went to the store. Sonic, bored, wandered into the dark basement to find consolation with the spiders, and try to remember what Shadow had said about love.

"_Love is patient, love is kind…"_

**Urrrgh**! _Uh, sorry for the short chapters lately…um…I have no excuse. Whatever. Enjoy! Leave me your reviews! It gets lonely at my computer. A line is always nice to see. Bye!_

_~Sylv_


	74. Revenge

**Revenge**

_Feel it comin' in the air_

_Hear the screams from everywhere_

_I'm addicted to the thrill_

_It's a dangerous love affair_

While he was down in the basement, Sonic checked in the laundry room. He found Jack, lounging amongst clothes just taken out of the dryer moments ago. Probably by Shadow, performing housewife duties during Sonic's afternoon nap. The blue hedgehog rolled his eyes. Jack looked with his green eyes, closed them, and stretched out upon the pillowcases and mounds of socks and gloves. His claws extended at the ends of his white paws, and he blinked slowly at Sonic, as if to say, "well? What're _you_ looking at?"

"_Jaaaack_," Sonic scolded. "What are you doing in the fresh laundry? Out, out, out!" He shooed the cat by digging his hands into the basket. With an agitated meow, Jack leapt agilely from the basket and airily cleaned his fur with his sandpapery pink tongue. Sonic was about to carry up the basket of clothes, when he spied a bunch of white sheets, which must've been the next load. He bent down to feel them. Yep. Soaking wet. "Aww, Shads," he muttered, rubbing his moist fingers to soothe the dampness in his glove, "you _never_ put wet clothes in a basket! They'll get moldy!" He huffed, turning to look at the washer and dryer combo. "I have no idea how to work those," he turned to the cat, still cleaning himself, "do you, Jack?"

The cat licked his paw thrice and washed his face idly. Sonic sighed. "Well, I guess I can do Shads a favor and dry them outside. C'mon, kitty," Sonic stretched out his arm towards Jack. He'd been teaching this trick to Jack for a while now, and was hoping he'd learned it. "Up, up."

Obediently, Jack leapt towards Sonic's shoulders and settled himself to ride there. Sonic could feel the cat's claws dig into his furry shoulder. The pain was only a pinch compared to everything else that shoulder had experienced, so he didn't mind it at all. Sonic then bent to retrieve the basket full of wet sheets, which dripped water onto his thighs to his chagrin, and ascended the stairs.

Once he had closed the basement door, Jack jumped to the floor and greeted Jamie by batting her neck with his paw. Jamie barked excitedly and jumped up, standing on her hind legs. Jack responded with a pounce and in no time at all, the old friends were rolling on the floor playing. One might've seen something dirty in the act, but Sonic didn't think about those things.

He walked to the door, balancing the basket on his knee. "C'mon, guys," he gave a little whistle to call them. He heard Jamie's little feet scampering and saw Jack whoosh past her. He opened the door just in time—that cat would've smacked right into the glass!

Sonic set up the outside radio on the front stoop and turned it on. Then, he set up the clothesline between two metal stakes in the ground.

"And that was Scoop Dog with his latest hit 'Don't Bury Mah Bone, Baby.' Up next, we have Kitty Patty with 'Mobian Girls' from her new album."

"Oh, I've heard of this song before!" Sonic exclaimed as Jamie ran to find her bone and Jack began to stalk the perimeter of the house. Shadow's front yard, facing the street with a long, sloping hill downward, was easier to do yard work in than his back yard, which was admittedly unkempt and small compared to the spacious front lawn.

"You could travel the universe! But nothing comes close to this earthy coast! Once you party with us, you'll be fallin in love! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Mobian girls, we're unforgettable! Big long tails, with jackets on top! Fur so soft, we'll make you sweat! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!"

Sonic hummed along with the music, singing despite his sex when he recognized the lyrics. He was having a good time, draping the sheets over the clothesline, and occasionally throwing Jamie's squeaky outside bone for her to fetch. After a while, once the wind picked up a little faster, Jamie was happier sitting by Sonic's sneaker, trying to figure out how to get the most amusing squeak out of her phone. Jack was inspecting some bush that wasn't yet in bloom, sniffing at it cautiously and with famous kitty curiosity.

Presently, Jamie sat up and stiffened. Sonic noticed and looked at the blackish-gray mop at his feet. "Jamie? What's up?" He looked around him automatically. "What'dya see?"

In response to this, Jamie jumped to her feet, a growl in her throat. She began to bark threateningly at something beyond the clothesline. Sonic, knowing Jamie didn't just bark for no reason, looked hard. It's possible Jamie was barking at Eggman's spirit, but then he'd be able to see the dead genius. No…Sonic say a pair of invisible legs that the sheets were blowing into and revealing. Suddenly, he began to ache all over with anger and jealousy. He clamped his hands down hard on the clothesline, overtop the sheets. In a voice seething with anger, he hissed: "Cut the crap, Espio. I know you're here."

Espio the Chameleon materialized out of thin air. Jamie gave a high-pitched yip, as if she was surprised to actually find someone there to bark at, and then proceeded to growl softly in her throat. The chameleon looked well put together, no gothic eye makeup this time, although he had a vile of green liquid around his neck Sonic didn't want to think about too hard.

The best thing to do was to start with pleasantries. "What made you come back?" Sonic bred his white teeth. "You gonna take Shads away from me, too?"

Espio shrugged, obviously stung by the comment, and looked at his feet a moment. "I was just sorry to hear that you were so sick."

"And I'm sorry to hear it's bothering your conscience." Sonic retorted, coldly but not necessarily angrily. "Word travels fast on the Island, I gather?"

Espio chuckled uneasily, hugging his arm with one hand. "My best friend's a detective, no matter how bungling! I'm well informed, whether I want to be or not!"

"Mmph," Sonic was studying Espio's form glaringly…and the chameleon knew it, too. "Indeed. What _do_ you want here, anyway?"

"Actually," Espio reached into a pocket in his glove and pulled out a dirty, stinky piece of notebook paper, "I'm here to give you this."

Sonic stepped back at the stench. It reeked of cognac. However, if Espio came all the way from the Island, it must be important. The hospitable thing to do would be to just humor him and take the damn thing. Sonic wasn't feeling hospitable, but he wasn't up to feeling aggressive either. He took the note and held it awkwardly in his hands. "Okay. So what's it for?"

Espio turned to go. Looking over his shoulder, he added: "Read it and find out. Bye bye, Jamie," he waved at the poodle, which only made her bark ferociously at him until he disappeared. Then she went back to her bone.

"Good girl," Sonic told her approvingly, still staring after the direction Espio had gone. "Good dog." He looked down at the smelly letter in his hands.

The outside flap read: "From: Knuckles" in the all-too-familiar handwriting. Sonic's heart skipped a beat. _Oh, what does he want __**now**__?_ He grumbled to himself as he flipped it open. Despite its stench, the writing looked like Knuckles' sober penmanship. Sonic took this as as good of a sign that could come with Knuckles as possible. It read:

_Dear Sonic,_

_I know how much you must hate me for what I did to you, and I hate bugging you in your new life. _

"So, why are you doing it?" Sonic asked himself aloud, shaking his head before continuing.

_But I have to talk to you._

"Nothing new. I say get in line."

_And I need you to do it without Shadow this time._

Now _that_ may have spiked a little fear. Sonic didn't like being alone, even when his only company was the spirit of his former nemesis and two furry, non-sentient friends.

_Meet me in the alley between the Rockstardom Café and Minkgo's at midnight tonight. Please, I'm begging you. It would mean the world to me._

_Forever your friend,_

_Knuckles the Echidna_

Sonic wanted to vomit right now. Just reading that made every bone in his body feel like collapsing like a stack of building blocks. He walked like a zombie toward the house and paced its entirety until Jamie and Jack stopped following him. Then, and only then, would he open his mind to his spirit guide.

Eggman was floating now, legless, next to him to keep up with his endless pacing. "What are you thinking?"

"A million things, Eggy. And I need to clear my head."

"Start with the first thought."

"Fear."

"That's an easy one. You're scared about seeing Knuckles alone. Next?"

Sonic wet his lips. "Cunning."

"You're not going to go alone, are you? You're going to take Mai, Kite, Jack, and Jamie with you, aren't you?" Eggman sighed. "Understandable. What about the next thought?"

"Revenge." Sonic's eyes glowed an evil sheen in the dim lighting.

"No," Eggman drew back, floating in front of him so that Sonic walked through him. He disappeared in a puff of smoke and reappeared beside Sonic, as before. "You won't…will you? You _can't_, you…"

"Give me one reason why I can't." Sonic stopped pacing and rounded on Eggman. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't slap Knuckles across the face and drive him into the dirt, huh? Give me one good reason, and I swear I'll stop!" He was heaving now, his heart racing faster. He felt lightheaded, like he couldn't breathe. "Give me one reason and I swear, I won't take revenge on him."

"You'll go back on your word this time," Eggman predicted. "But…here goes my effort. Sonic, did you ever think that if you hit him, he'll hit you back? He might even press charges against you. If you strike out at him, this whole abuse charge can be turned on _you_."

"He won't!" Sonic protested.

"But he might. And where would you be then? I doubt Shadow the Lawyer-hog could easily get you out of _that_ mess."

"But…! He started…!"

"You never testified against him the first time, and, while noble, that was your ultimate downfall." The doctor removed his glasses, eyes downcast as he wiped them on his red jacket. "I cannot see the future, Sonic, but if he presses charges against you, if he pursues this…" He sighed, looking at Sonic again with eyes as black as the abyss. "You may be force to testify against him…or spend the remainder of your life in jail. And believe me, you better take it from somebody who knows," he chuckled, "there's no Shadow in jail to stuff you! You'll be on your own—and quite possibly, everyone's bitch, there."

There was silence as a distant car pulled up, the headlight lighting up the room. Sonic was alone again, and Jamie's warning bark woke him from his daydream.

He ate supper, a huge meat-lover's pizza and half a medium rare steak, quickly and ravenously, eating beyond his own comfort levels until he was falling over with sleepiness and the food was all gone. On his own request, they retired early. Shadow fell asleep quickly, and was soon snoring, but Sonic stayed awake in agony at what he was about to do. At midnight, he rose robotically and went to wake up Jamie in the living room. He slipped his navy blue pea coat on to protect against the harsh wind, rain, and cold that he could hear was buffeting the house, put a sleepy Jack on his shoulder and hooked Jamie's leash to her collar. Then, he went outside.

He called with a lonesome howl he had learned in his days as a werehog and waited patiently for a few moments in the cold, windy night. He could feel Jack's claws kneading his shoulder, and took some comfort in the tiny dog staying near his heels. At last, Mai and Kite came running, bouncing at each other, delighted to see each other. Sonic hooked up their leashes—spares he'd found in his jacket pocket—and, with his small posse of animals, he set out to the alleyway Knuckles had mentioned.

_He's not leaving _

_Is he ever going to let me go? _

_I believe no-one ever seems to know _

_Why I shiver when I open up my eyes _

_Do they all think I am full of lies?_

Knuckles was fashionably late, as usual. The wind had picked up and the animals were getting restless, Sonic included. Then, blue saw him. Like he was coming out of a dream, sober on a drunken night. Yes, there he was. No coat, no scarf, no hat. Invisible to mercy, lying in bed with a gothic ninja. Not that it mattered to Sonic. Nothing did, anymore.

He knew Knuckles was talking, but he wasn't listening to any of the words he said. He was shivering, not out chill, his body in complete and total agony at the thoughts running through his crazed and feverish mind. He could only hear Knuckles' voice, shouting in his ear that he was fat, ugly, a liar, a whore. Every raindrop felt like the hand, the foot, that had struck him, bruised him, made him feel like nothing. The fingers that had turned the key to lock him in the closet, the basement. The hands that held the liquor that made him crazy. The eyes that haunted his worst nightmares, and still did, months after the abuse and what he thought was recovery.

_Hang on to the glory at my right hand_

_Here laid to rest is our love ever longed_

_With truth on the shores of compassion_

_You seem to take premise to all of these songs_

"_Much madness is divinest sense To a discerning eye; Much sense the starkest madness. 'Tis the majority In this, as all, prevails Assent, and you are sane; Demur,-you're straightway dangerous, And handled with a chain."__ –Emily Dickenson_

Sonic dropped the leashes and Jack dumped off his shoulder. He made a noise that meant to attack, and Mai and Kite jumped on Knuckles, taking him down and holding him down. Sonic helped by pressing pressure points on his body to keep him down. Mai and Kite bit his arms, Jamie bit at his legs, and even Jack helped out by scratching wherever he could reach. Knuckles screamed and cried out for help, but no one heard him. No one heeded his cries.

Sonic stood there, enjoying the torture while feeling the gripping pain in all his limbs, the headache in his head, from having done wrong. Blood splashed occasionally, hitting his cheek and his jacket. But Sonic was unaffected. Finally, when Knuckles had had enough, he called off the dogs and bent to wash their faces of the red blood. As the rain fell on Knuckles' wounds, it turned red and flowed off past him in the blue moonlight.

Sonic straightened himself up again, taking Jamie and jack into his arms and removing the leashes on Mai and Kite. "Now you know how I felt," Sonic told Knuckles simply. "How I felt…when no one heard _me_ screaming."

Then, Sonic ran away, leaving Knuckles to stew in thought. He let Mai and Kite go home, but he gave his own pets a warm bath and an extra blanket to keep them warm. Then, he climbed into bed with Shadow as if none of that had ever happened.

But, he knew it happened. His body was gripped and strangled by pain.

And he felt it. All through the night.

_Make of that Emily Dickenson quote what you will. Please review!_


	75. New Moon Phase

New Moon Phase

Starting anew, starting again,

Trying hard to make amends.

Everything comes together,

Knit like a fuzzy scarf.

Everything works out well in the end,

Although we can't see the moon.


	76. Aftermath

**AFTERMATH**

Sonic had been quiet and obedient for too long, and it was making Shadow suspicious. So he went to the one place where he could get answers his boyfriend wouldn't tell him.

Angel Island.

Shadow knocked on the pristine white door. There weren't any noises he should be afraid of coming from inside, so that's why he didn't feel the need to run away or vomit. Espio opened the door, seeming surprised to see him. "Hey, Shadow. What can I do for you?"

"I need to talk to Knuckles," Shadow sighed, feeling stupid that he even needed to ask for an audience with the man who had caused his love so much pain. He wasn't even sure he knew exactly why he was doing this.

"All right," Espio stepped aside, allowing Shadow entry. "He's in here."

The chameleon led the black hedgehog into the living room, where Knuckles was sitting on the couch. His arms were bandaged, and he was just settling his feet on the other end of the couch when the two males entered. "Baby," Espio walked over and kissed the top of Knuckles' head, "there's another goth here to see you."

"Awww, you shut up," Knuckles giggled, kissing his boyfriend's yellow horn. Shadow rolled his eyes. Knuckles glanced over at Shadow, the violet eyes meeting violent ones, and kissed Espio one last time. "Leave us, love. Mr. Moody has something very important to say."

Espio lifted his head and glared at Shadow. Then he muttered something unintelligible and left. Shadow and Knuckles shared a stare of silence.

Finally, Shadow spoke shyly. "How did you, uh..."

"Sonic," Knuckles replied with a sigh. "Is that why you're here? To rub it in my face?"

Shadow's jaw dropped. "Wait..._Sonic_ did this?"

Knuckles nodded. "Yes, Sonic did this to me. Oh, not single-handed, I'll give him that. He had help...he's a cunning boy."

"I don't believe it!" Shadow hissed. "You hurt Sonic in every way but the kitchen sink, and you're trying to pin the blame for this on him! You probably tripped over something _stone drunk_!"

"I kid you not!" Knuckles laughed nervously. "Sonic had help in doing this to me! And I _don't _drink heavily anymore." He added sulkily.

"From who?" Shadow growled, ignoring the comment. "Who would help him hurt you?"

"It depends on who you ask, I know..." Knuckles began, "but to me, it's not 'who.' It's 'what'."

"Okay, then," Shadow hissed, "_What_?"

"A host of animals," Knuckles replied, shivering to think on it. "Two huge German Shepherds, a little scruffy dog, and a black cat with white paws and green eyes."

Shadow was startled shitless. "Those animals...they're Mai, Kite, Jamie, and Jack!"

"So you know them?" Knuckles grinned. "Yeah...I'd say your boy's insane!"

Shadow snarled. "He is _not_ insane! I still don't believe you!"

Knuckles laughed. "Fine! I don't expect you to! I'm only saying it just like I saw it myself."

"Okay," Shadow crossed his arms moodily at his chest. "What was Sonic doing while the animals were attacking you?"

Knuckles scrunched up his face is thought. "Nothing, really. He just sorta stood there, shivering. I think it hurts him to do evil, so his body is against everything it was doing, then."

"How do you know all this?" Shadow demanded, miffed Knuckles seemed to know more about _his_ boyfriend than he did.

Knuckles shrugged. "It's just an observation." He reclined. "Hey, Esp? Can you bring me a pillow?"

Nothing happened. There was only the silence to greet his request. Knuckles cleared his throat and tried again. "Espio? _Espio!_" Nothing but the wind.

"Damn def ninja…" Knuckles rose from his place on the couch and stomped into the next room, grumbling under his breath. Shadow followed, endlessly suspicious.

"Espio's not here," Knuckles confirmed, leaning against the counter in the green-tiled kitchen. Shadow flinched, being in here. How many times had Sonic been beaten in here by the very same man who stood before him, casually leaning against the counter?

"Where d'ya think he could've gone?" Shadow wondered.

"I hope he wasn't listening in…"

Then, Shadow and Knuckles had the same thought. "Sonic!"

"Can you fly?" Shadow asked him, rushing for the door.

"Yes, I can _glide_, thank you." Knuckles snapped, running out behind him.

"Good, cause I'm not carrying _you_ bridal style."

"I like that just fine."

The two flew in silence, but Shadow's mind was far from quiet. _Please,_ he begged whatever higher power he believed in, _please let him be okay. __**Please!**_


	77. Closure

**Closure**

Sonic decided there was nothing much to do but garden. He'd become reclusive again ever since his revenge, because it hurt him to think about it. It hurt him to think he had violently attacked another person…and he had no idea how it would effect him in the long run.

The Doctor appeared to him as he walked outside, gardening gloves replacing his usual white ones. "Well, Sonic," he said, cleaning his glasses with eyes downcast, "to the victor go the spoils!"

Sonic was disinclined to listen. Instead, he got down on his hands and knees and worked attentively at weeding the small garden Shadow had allowed to get overgrown. Eggman eventually disappeared in a wisp of smoke, and Sonic was alone. Jamie and Jack were in the house. All was quiet.

He was trying to identify a small purple flower that had nestled itself amongst some choking weeds when it happened. A shadow passed over his back, but he didn't notice, holding the delicate head of the flower on the tip of his glove. He went to get up, or something similar when it hit him.

The punch sent him reeling onto the ground. He hadn't been hit so hard since…since…since times he didn't dare think on. Dizzy from the punch in his weakened state, he pushed himself up on his elbows and looked his attacker between the eyes.

Purple scaly skin and a protruding yellow horn greeted him back. The hedgehog's quills flared and he bared his white teeth in rage. "What are you doing here, Espio?" He asked with cold formality.

The chameleon didn't answer. Instead, he thrust his foot out at Sonic's ribs and kicked him. Sonic rolled over in the grass, a yelp escaping his lips. Most of his bruises had healed, but he was certain Espio was making new ones. "I don't want to fight you, Espio," he soothed. "Let's talk this out." Sonic really didn't want to fight. Besides being under the weather, he was in no shape to deal with the moody, gothic chameleon. And he had no patience for being battered like a fish stick today.

_Run_, something (he thought it might've been Eggman) whispered in his subconscious. _Run, run away! That's bloodlust in his eyes! Murder! Run! __**Run!**_

Sonic didn't need any more convincing than that to make his feet move. He ran. He pulled himself into the wind with such ease that he turned nigh invisible. He ran up towards the roof to get his bearings. He didn't want to hurt Espio—that was the last thing he wanted. The chameleon was misguided. And anyway, the last thing he wanted was to incur Knuckles' wrath! To hurt someone again…he couldn't do it. His stomach growled, reminding him he hadn't had a decent meal in a week or so. It wouldn't do to fight hungry, but he had to get Espio off his back.

Suddenly, another body crashed into his back and pushed him to the roof. He could hear the shingles cracking with the impact, Jamie barking in warning at the noise she couldn't identify. He wrenched his arms out from under him and groped for the chameleon's waist. Having grabbed it with both hands, he pulled it upward and flung him forward. It was no small task. Espio had run to plumpness, ad he was still trying to work if off. Sonic, not very used to fighting with his arms anyway, was weak with fatigue. Espio was strong and angry, and that alone could fuel a dying man's fight.

Sonic inhaled and pulled himself into the wind again, circling the house. He could feel the rough patch on his chest where Espio had scraped him against the roof, and he knew it was probably bleeding. He continued to circle the house. Even in his wave of speed, he could slow his vision down, check every corner, every bush, every tree.

No sign of Espio. He hadn't left, no, he was invisible as Sonic was now. Hiding.

Sonic stopped in a tall pine tree overlooking the house and the shabby backyard filled with dried grass and dirty rakes and shovels and other tools of the trade. From here, he could almost smell the rust on the old lawnmower, gathering dust and rust, rust and dust. He was on guard so much it hurt, his brain thinking a million things at once, going like a hamster on a wire wheel, going, going, all his senses alert so that his ears ached from being pricked, his nose agonized by smelling nothing, his heart beating so fast he was almost forced to pant.

He took off the gloves and rested them on the branch beside him, hoping they wouldn't fall. He was sitting now, the tips of his feet touching the next branch firmly as a way of escape, even if it meant falling painfully through the needles several feet down before his hands could reach a branch. He felt like he was back with Knuckles, hiding, watching, waiting for the echidna's next move.

He could almost smell the liquor.

Sonic parted the fur on his chest with his tan fingertips, feeling for scrapes. He pulled his fingers away and looked. The tips had a faint reddish tint. He licked his fingers clean of the blood, a fresh rusty taste.

Sonic was alert to a crack of branches a little higher up. It sounded like a ninja who was out of practice trying to be stealthy. He half rose up, forsaking his gloves, holding on to a nearby branch for stability. Maybe it was a squirrel. He couldn't risk giving away his position. He listened hard. There was another crack, and the sight of a gray bushy tails in the treetops. It was a squirrel, but he didn't relax for a minute.

Breathing. Heavy breathing.

Sonic let go of the branch and fell forward just as the chameleon lunged at him. Espio was fast, but Sonic was faster. The chameleon caught himself on a branch with his tail and pulled himself up. Sonic fell through the branches, small ones slapping him in the face, big ones bumping against his knees, his ankles, the harsh bark tearing his socks and cutting his cheeks.

He fell in a lump at the base of the tree, unmoving. He stayed still, eyes closed, breathing through his nose only enough to stay just alive, the wind barely stirring his body to show his breath. Curled half into himself, the way he had fallen, he listened.

The tree branches creaked, and Espio descended. His sneakers crunched in the grass as he walked around Sonic in a circle, sniffing and looking him over to see if he was dead. He was around the other side now, near his head. Sonic chanced to open his eyes and saw Espio's ankle. He felt the poking. Sonic tensed, moving his left arm out slowly, slowly. His fingers gripped the ankle on the chameleon. Espio tensed.

Sonic pulled Espio's leg out from under him and ran again, pulling himself into the wind. Fatigue was drawing him under. He wasn't used to being so intense. He'd gotten lazy. _Stupid, stupid boy,_ he chided himself. His legs were beginning to ache just a bit, probably from being so tense. His body had been demanding, crying, saying that he must do this and that to save himself. In his mind, he was sitting before Knuckles, his knees under him, his head bent, watching the sneakers drag across the floor, waiting for the fist to come bashing down on his skull.

But he wasn't going to give up. Not this time.

Sonic turned around and skidded to a halt. He watched Espio running at him as fast as he could, saw the chameleon jump, lunging at him. Sonic held up his hands to stop Espio, but the chameleon still managed to bring him down. Hands struggled against hands. Sonic forced his arms to work, to push against Espio's as the chameleon, face flushed with rage, tried to bash his face in.

"Enough silence," Sonic grunted. "Talk to me, Espio. Why are you fighting me?"

Espio grit his teeth. "You, you did…you hurt…"

"Talk to me. Sentences. Words." Sonic encouraged softly.

Espio gave one final push and succeeded in punching Sonic's chest hard with both hands. He stood while Sonic was coughing from the sudden rush of oxygen deprivation. "You hurt Knuckles!" He growled. "You sicked two attack dogs on him, didn't you? Admit it! _Admit it __**NOW**_!"

Sonic sat up, still coughing. "Okay, I admit it," he replied hoarsely, "yes, I hurt Knuckles. And I didn't have a right to, I suppose. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry."

Espio leaned forward towards Sonic, driving his yellow horn into Sonic's forehead. "You damn fool!" He yelled. " 'Sorry' isn't going to cut it!" He pushed forward, making Sonic yelp from the pain crushing his forehead. Blood was starting to flow down his face. "You hurt him! You hurt _**my**__ boyfriend_! And you're going to pay!"

"Stop it, Espio," said a voice gruffly. "I've done way worse to him."

Espio looked up, making Sonic gasp. "Knuckles!" He ran over to hug his boyfriend. "What are you doing out of bed?"

Knuckles watched Shadow go to help Sonic up gravely. "I'm stopping you from killing my friend."

"Friend?" Espio hissed, glaring at Sonic. "He _hurt_ you! _Why_ are you calling him your '_friend_'?"

Knuckles smiled at Sonic and Shadow. "Because he could've sent me to jail, and he didn't." He looked at Espio. "My love, you have to forgive Sonic, okay? He probably feels awful about this." He kissed Espio then. "Say you're sorry."

Espio turned and looked at Sonic, who was nestled into Shadow's shoulder. The dark hedgehog had murder in his ruby eyes. Espio shivered. He stepped away from Knuckles, looking into Sonic's calm, peaceful eyes, even though he was cuddling against Shadow for protection, his ears curled back in fright.

"I'm…" Espio began. Shadow could only snap his teeth closed, exposing them like an angry wolf. "I'm…I'm sorry, Sonic," he muttered almost unintelligibly.

Sonic nodded, gripping Shadow's white chest fur. "Get out of here," he swallowed, weak and trembling. "Go! Now!"

Shadow hugged Sonic closer, but as caring as he was towards Sonic, he only had hatred in his eyes for the intruders. "You heard the hedgehog," he growled. "Scat! Or I'll call the cops."

"Right," Knuckles smiled nervously. "C'mon, Esp. Let's get outta here."

"Right." And with that, the two island dwellers were gone.

Shadow stroked Sonic's spine to soothe him, for the cobalt hedgie was still trembling. "Is everything all right?" Shadow asked, concerned. "Are you cold?"

Sonic shook his head, and took a deep, calming breath. "No," he sighed, "but I'm mighty hungry."

Shadow laughed as Sonic's hands wandered downward to rest over his stomach. "That can easily be remedied. Anything in particular?"

Sonic shrugged. Shadow kissed his forehead. "Where are your gloves?"

Sonic pointed to the pine tree.

"Do you want me to get them?"

Sonic shook his head. "They're not important."

With that, the lovers walked back towards the house, bith secretly hoping to never have to see Knuckles or Espio ever again.

_Woo! Sorry I was gone so long! Testing at school is a killer…my apologies. Anyway, hope you've enjoyed this! I worked hard!_


	78. Bandages and Burgers

**Bandages and Burgers**

Sonic's stomach growled fiercely, and he bit his lip, stifling a moan. To see if it would help, he held the warm washcloth he was using to disinfect the scrapes on his chest closer to his stomach. It didn't help. He sighed and reached for a disinfecting wipe and washed his face. The bleeding had already stopped—he'd gained strength enough to heal quickly, as he usually did—but his face was still dirty and covered in dried blood.

Shadow was cooking at the stove. He already had several pots boiling, one with hot dogs (with water, thankfully), one with soup, one with several hard boiled eggs, and one with vegetables. He was humming something as he cut open a package of freshly-ground beef, probably the fattest cut available. Sonic warranted that Shadow intended to eat the soup, but nothing else, and he sighed for his love's sacrifice.

"Are you okay, Sonic?" Shadow, hearing the sighs, half turned around in concern.

"Yeah, fine, besides the obvious!" Sonic responded positively, showing his famous half-grin.

Shadow chuckled. "I promise, something will be finished soon, and then you can eat."

"I'd rather eat it all at once and not stop!" Sonic admitted. The dark hedgehog nodded, back to preparing the meat, gloves off and hands washed.

"Understandable. Your body will still devour everything you eat, so maybe it's wise to eat all at once, so you can't get full."

"If that made any sense at all," Sonic chuckled, "I'd say, yeah, that's true."

Shadow reached for a dishtowel and threw it at him. "How's your wounds?"

"Healing quickly. My head's bothering me a bit, but I'm sure that will clear up once I eat a little." Sonic sighed, yawning as he rested his chin on his hands. "Man! I just feel so…drained."

"I'm sure that's because too much excitement plus empty stomach equals your body _not_ having a field day."

"Arrgh," Sonic grunted, "I'm _sooooo_ sleepy."

"Like I said, you're tuckered out."

"Mmmhmm, and _when_ did you say this?"

"I just did." Shadow grinned as he felt the dishtowel hit his back.

"Anyway, I'm starting to smell the soup, and that soup aint soup at all," Sonic leaned back in the chair, purposely creaking it, "it's chili."

Shadow swallowed. "Well…I thought you might like to try some chilidogs. I know you haven't been into them for a while, but…"

"Sure, bring it on!" Sonic laughed. "At this point, I'll eat anything that has a flavor!"

"Even garbage?"

"No. Toss me that dishtowel." Shadow obeyed, and got hit in the face with it. He pulled it off his face and set it aside.

"You're crazy."

"Thank you! It's nice to hear that from someone who almost killed the entire human race over a human _girl_."

"Touché," Shadow bit his lip, "but Maria was _more_, if you can believe that—if you can believe _me_—she…she was like my mother, always there with a warm hug and a shoulder to cry on, if I ever needed one. I loved her…but it was nothing like I feel for you, if that makes sense. I had to _do_ something for her, but I was lost and didn't know what." He shook, then, and felt the warm tan arms drape around him in a warm embrace.

"I understand, m'love. I understand better than you think." Shadow turned around in his love's grasp and lay his head on the tan shoulder, needing the comfort that shoulder, that _smell_ (Sonic had a unique smell—somewhere between the smells of the void of space and wildflowers) could bring him. He was almost crying, but it was more like a moan of loneliness that escaped his lips.

"She was my _family_."

"I know, Shadow, I know. I was trying to get your goat."

Shadow grinned into Sonic's shoulder and burst into laughter.

_I don't even know where we stand _

_Where we're all going to go or how it all ends _

_I don't really know that much at all_

The food was finally finished and prepared.

There were twelve delicious burgers with ketchup, mustard, pickle chips, cheese, and egg. The last, plainest burger was for Shadow, with only ketchup and pickle chips. Chilidogs had been expertly prepared (there must've been no less than twenty) and were piled on top of one another, standing at attention. The dozen hard boiled eggs that had not been placed on the burgers (and the remains of those that had been) were in a huge bowl, ready to be eaten. Even the vegetables, broccoli and peas covered in thick, stringy mozzarella cheese, looked tempting as they sat steaming in the corner next to the burgers.

What a sight the feast was!

And Sonic, starving, could only feel his mouth begin to water, his stomach grumbling and growling, probably wishing it had hands of its own, to grab the food and bring it to its gaping maw.

Sonic went for the chilidogs first, the thought that had once turned him off chilidogs never once crossing his mind. No, he stuffed all twenty of them down his throat once by one and licked the plate clean of any spare chili. Without giving himself a moment to breathe, he took up the fork and devoured the vegetables with the speed he was well known for. He shoved entire hard-boiled eggs into his mouth, Shadow watching with fascination, the speed of Sonic's eating tickling his fancy. He caught himself with a boner more than once, and had to close his eyes and look away to make it subside.

Sonic swallowed the last of the eggs and moved on to the burgers, not truly ravenous anymore (he was actually getting pretty full!), but still feeling the desire to devour. He ate the burgers slowly—they weren't too huge, about the size of his palm, each—but after about three of them eaten in this manner, his stomach growled again, although faintly, and he devoured the rest in a matter of twelve bites.

"Ahhhh," Sonic slouched in his chair, one arm over the back of the chair and the other down by his side, this hand patting his belly contentedly. He yawned again, his mouth a gaping cave, and let his eyelids hand low. "That was good. Ugh, I'm _sooo_ tired!" He mused with a short laugh.

Shadow appraised his blue boyfriend with interest. Even taking into consideration the way he was sitting, Sonic did seem to have quite a bit of tummy. His feast must've improved his situation greatly, and Shadow was thankful for it. "I guess you're too full for dessert, hmmm?"

"Give me a minute to breathe!" Sonic laughed, rising to his feet slowly and stretching his arms out all the way to his fingertips. Yes, he had a nice bit of tummy. It wasn't anything too special, because of his fast metabolism, but it _was_ something. Shadow hugged Sonic as he came near, and blue molded against him, his weight falling sleepily against his lover.

After a moment, Sonic said:

"Let's wait an hour or so before dessert, okay?"

_Rushed! Cause I have to take the dog out! Lol_

_Lyrics: Life Was Beautiful-The Green Children_


	79. Dessert

_I don't have a good excuse for not updating! …yeah. On with the story!_

_Oh, if anyone wants to ask Sonic a question, the forum is open!_

**Dessert**

After about fifteen minutes of snuggling, Shadow decided it was time for him to take a shower. Sonic followed his dark love into the bedroom, but stopped just short of joining him in the shower. He had other plans.

Once the water had started up, and Shadow began humming as he washed, Sonic dug under the bed for a small chest he'd been saving for a long time. Inside were several scented candles and a lighter. Sonic inhaled over one of the candles, and smiled. Thank goodness for girly moving-in presents!

The bedroom's cozy red walls (newly painted) would be a nice touch for tonight's ceremony. Sonic arranged the four candles in elegant red candleholders in a triangular pattern. One sat atop a raised bar just underneath an ornamental mirror on the vanity, and two fanned out just below it. The fourth lay about half a foot from the two points, exactly aligned with the first. As he was about to light them all in turn, a shadow appeared in the mirror, and Eggman flickered into view like a show on an old television set.

"What is this? A funeral?" He questioned, busy wiping his glasses on his red suit.

"Yeah, yours." Sonic flicked at the lighter impatiently, waiting for fire to burn on its tip.

"No, it isn't…" Eggman smirked triumphantly. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but…are you _nesting_?"

"Please. I hardly call it something so girly." Sonic flashed a playful glare at the doctor, who responded with a humping motion before reaching his hand out of the mirror like some creepy horror movie specter. Sonic wasn't afraid of the dead genius who haunted him, but he still watched warily. Eggman simply touched his two fingers on the lighter, as if he were snuffing a flame, and withdrew his hand. The soft, white-yellow glow of the soft flame lit up the room, and reflected just by Eggman's elbow in the mirror before it.

Sonic was stunned. "That's some magic trick!"

Eggman shrugged. "As a ghost, I can manipulate many things, including lighters."

"Mmn," Sonic began lighting the candles, his hand shaking uneasily.

"Are you frightened?" Eggman asked, noting the nervous unsteadiness of Sonic's movements.

"Not frightened," Sonic corrected. "I've wanted this for so long…I think I'm just…"

"Lustful?" The doctor chuckled. "I never thought you had it in you. Especially after what's happened."

"Maybe because of that," Sonic bit his lip in thought as he tried to light one of the candles that was proving more stubborn than he was. "Maybe _because_ of all that's happened. Maybe _because_ of my past, I want him. Does…does that make sense?"

"Not really. But, then again, you're talking to a mad genius who never knew love."

Sonic chuckled. "And, we're talking a gay Sonic the Hedgehog."

"Well, come, now. It's too late to regret the way you were born."

"Oh, I don't regret it," Sonic, having finished lighting the candles, snapped the lighter closed. "I just…I dunno."

"Spewing nonsense before the big night?" Eggman snorted. "You sound like any young bride eager to please her husband."

Sonic looked over his shoulder at the closed bathroom door, the homey sounds of his love imitating the death metal growl of one of his favorite songs, _Shackled Damnable Him_ by Dead Bloody Night and the golden light from under the door trapped inside to light his way. "I'm just…waiting," he admitted, "to see if _real_ love is anything like the pain…torture…" he trailed off, the conflagration in his head making his eyes burn with ashy tears. "Either way," he shrugged; then lightly, "you'll have one heck of a show to watch tonight!"

Eggman growled. "As curious as I am to observe your animal…habits—I'll leave you alone. I'm more than happy to give you this night, and many others, without my annoying presence."

Sonic sighed. "You're not annoying," he leaned forward, taking in the sweet, enticing, romantic smell of vanilla, "—mmm, I _love_ this smell!—but thank you."

"I'm glad to hear it all," Eggman bowed courteously, just as they heard the shower door open. "Rest easy tonight," he added before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. Sonic chuckled. _Show-off._

Shadow opened the bathroom door, allowing a cloud of steam to fan out around him, dissipating throughout the room like formless spirits playing tag in slow motion. Sonic almost got a rise, just imagining the _beauty_ of his lover's dripping wet genitals.

Shadow was clothed in a white towel, a striking contrast against his dripping wet black fur donned with red stripes. His eyes were closed, and he was growling in his throat (still singing, Sonic guessed,) as he shamelessly dried himself off, naked before Sonic. Blue removed his gloves and socks (his shoes had long ago been discarded for cuddling earlier) and slyly got into bed, throwing his arms behind his head and spreading his legs generously.

When Shadow was finished, he tossed away the towel and frowned at Sonic. "You're taunting me," he pouted meanly, "You're not going to let me…you're _so_ underhanded!" He snapped, blushing now, and furious.

Sonic chuckled, eyes closed. "Relax, I aint goin nowhere," he yawned. "Well? I'm bored already, so let's get this show on the road! Or, in the butt. Which is preferable," he peeped at Shadow, winking mischievously.

Shadow pounced into bed and was on top of him within seconds. "I want this," he was pinning Sonic's shoulders to the bed with his hands. By now, Sonic's blush was massive, even as Shadow's ruby red eyes darted, searching him, trying to reach the depths of his chili-coated soul. "I want this so badly, it hurts. You _know_ that," he moved at Sonic's hips, grinding against Sonic's quickly hardening member. "Don't go back on your word."

Sonic tilted his neck up and pulled Shadow into a kiss. He danced his fingers down Shadow's damp back, pushing him closer. Shadow, full of lust, could no longer resist. He teased at Sonic's entrance, before thrusting it in.

"_AHHH! _Ah," Sonic squealed, his eyes squeezing shut against the suddenness of it all. Shadow pulled back a moment. Sweat had began to bead across both of their foreheads.

"Does it hurt?" He mused, concerned, though his voice and eyes were filled with passion.

"No, ah…no," Sonic hissed out in pleasure, "it just… surprised me, the way it went in so easily, so _slippery_, like a naughty little eel…" He moaned as Shadow's tongue made a sticky line down his neck, his back arching into Shadow as the dark hedgehog began to thrust.

"Good," Shadow replied after a moment. "Keep holding onto that thought, darling, while I show you why I'm called the master of dark passions."

Sonic dug his fingernails into Shadow's shoulders, hardly seeing in color anymore. Everything looked black. "Who...calls you that?" He panted, delighting in how the tip of his culpable penis touched against Shadow's tummy.

"You will," Shadow reassured him, "in just a second." He moved to the side some _inside_ Sonic, and then moved back.

"_OH! __**OOoooohHHH!**_" Sonic cried, tears nearly coming to his eyes from the pleasure of it all. "That feels nice, _that_ feels _niiiiiicee_…"

Shadow moved his hand off Sonic's shoulder and began to dump his dick. Sonic moaned, his legs arching, surrounded by pleasure. He wanted to hit his top so badly, even though the last time that happened, he'd been with Knuckles. Still, all this passion…inside his body…he had to let it out. His thighs began to twitch. _He_ wanted a turn.

Though enjoying relative laziness during sex (he _adored_ being pleasured, and was happy to let Shadow do his work), Sonic wanted a chance to show Shadow that he _could_ hold his own in bed, if he so chose. It might make Shadow work harder to get something out of Sonic, forcing the blue hedgie's top to come faster. Sonic could feel it building with him, but he had endurance from years of abuse. Something _really_ big and _really_ pleasurable was what would do it.

And he needed to make Shadow do that. _**Now**_.

Sonic wrenched his hands out from where they were entangled between Shadow's gravity-defying quills and pressed them against Shadow's cheeks, pulling the dark hedgie into a deep kiss. Shadow melted above him, and Sonic saw his chance.

Taking one hand off of Shadow's cheek, he pushed him roughly down, wriggling for dominance a little to pleasure himself more before Shadow's dick had to leave him. Then, before Shadow could pull away and protest, he pushed his penis into Shadow.

_That_ made Shadow break the kiss! He _squealed_ like Shadow the Hedgehog would never admit to! He yelled to the high heavens, panting, as Sonic wedged himself into him, with no small effort on his behalf.

"Damn, Shads," he humphed, frustrated. "You're tight."

"You…better not have any…huh, sexually transmitted, phew…diseases." Shadow panted, sweating buckets. Sonic rolled his eyes.

"I don't, I got tested," he affirmed, finally happy with wedging his cock into such a tight space.

Shadow flushed until he was redder than his stripes. "Sonic…" he purred, "you're…you're _huge_!"

Sonic blushed back, pink as a rise. "Thank you," he cooed, drawing close to Shadow. Instantly, he grabbed hold of Shadow's penis and began to swivel it like a joystick. Shadow's head twisted from side to side, his back sometimes arching, as Sonic worked, moaning all the while.

"I'm glad you can play my game, Shads," Sonic teased, bouncing inside of Shadow now, moving from side to side like a swaying ship. What he wasn't expecting were two strong hands on his shoulders who, as fast or faster than he was thrusting, wrestled him down into the comforters. Before he could ask why, (although not that he minded one bit—he was getting tired of being the pleasurer), a penis entered his area, and his back straightened, crying out so alarmingly that Jamie, outside somewhere, began to bark warningly. He panted, as Shadow's warm, soft lips closed over his, the taste of mint toothpaste everywhere in his mouth.

"I was about to cum," Shadow explained. "I wanted to make _you_ come first." He lowered his eyelids slyly and dove his muzzle into Sonic's neck, sucking, biting, teasing him with his tongue all over, as he thrusted harder and harder.

Sonic giggled gleefully. "You fell into my trap!" He cried through his laughter. "I _want_ to cum! Ah, _AHHHH_! I'm—! _**I'm**_—!"

Shadow moved down over Sonic's penis, nearly withdrawing himself. "Come on, come on, Sonic," he begged, humping against Sonic, "I want it, I want all of it! Give it to me!"

Sonic cummed. And Shadow was ready to swallow it all. The taste was so pure, so beautiful, so much everything he'd dreamed of—that he cummed as well. Sonic shot back, hitting his head on the headboard, and then fell, panting, among the pillows. Shadow, exhausted, moved up beside him, hooking his leg over Sonic's lower body.

Sonic giggled. "My—my chest is _heaving_!" He marveled, looking lovingly at Shadow. "That was awesome. Thank you, darling."

Shadow smiled back, and kissed his love passionately, too overwhelmed for words.

_How do you like the dessert? :3_

_Review me, please!_


	80. Digging Up Memories

**Digging Up Memories**

_Now that don't kill me_

_Can only make me stronger_

_I need you to hurry up now_

_'cause I can't wait much longer_

_I know I got to be right now_

_'cause I can't get much wronger_

_Man I've been waitin' all night now_

_That's how long I've been on ya_

Sonic swallowed, wringing his hands, cowed in the presence of this house. The familiar white-washed paintjob, the two stories, the porch on which drunken men sang. He picked up the reusable shopping bag at his feet, feeling the weight of it startle him. Two liter bottles of medicinal soda. He would need them both for this job.

As he walked towards the house, he thought about the events of the day so far. He'd come with Shadow to work, mostly to chat it up with Amy, and gush about how much he loved Shadow. Only girls could listen to that crap. Tails had no time for it, what with the twins, and all. Amy had been telling him the current events, since thanks to Shadow, he'd been a shut-in for too long. And he liked to be on the up-and-up.

"We've finally got enough money to buy the old building that went out of business," Amy was saying over a mocha latté, "and enough to buy the flowers and supplies. The owner said he'll put up the overhead sign for us, free of charge."

"That's wonderful, Amy!" Sonic, leaning over the desk eating a doughnut and drinking iced chocolate, exclaimed. Amy smiled proudly.

"The only thing is, though," she went on, "is we can't find an apartment. I'm so happy to be moving out of Vanilla's house, but we can't find an affordable complex in the city. And none of the apartments will take dogs. Vanilla says she'll be happy to keep Kite, and of course, you know poor Cosmo says they'll have to give away Mai."

"No!" Sonic's ears flew back. "Those two can't be separated!"

Amy nodded. "That's why Vanilla is taking Mai in, too. She says they'll be a big help to her. She's getting on in years, you know."

"Yes," Sonic nodded. "Well, that's wonderful. Mai and Kite are well-equipped to help Vanilla. They're well-trained."

"Thanks to you," Amy teased affectionately.

"Stop!" Sonic hit her lightly on the arm. "It was Brigit, mostly! But tell me, now," he leaned forward in earnest. "You say you can't find an affordable apartment?"

Amy's ears drooped. "Not near enough to Cream's school, or the store. I mean, it's too far for me to walk into town…Cream could take the car, but how would I get to work?"

"You can live in my old house!" Sonic had blurted out, without thinking of the repercussions of that statement.

"_**Really**_?" Amy's eyes lit up. "You'd do that, Sonic?"

Sonic shrugged, munching his cocoa doughnut. "Sure. I mean, I don't use it. Knux never paid anything for it. Far as I'm concerned, it's yours! And, if you feel bad," he winked, "you can pay me rent. $100 a month sound fair?"

"Too little!" Amy cried, squeezing him in a hug reminiscent of their earlier days. "Thank you, Sonic! How generous of you!"

"It's no problem," Sonic giggled, uneasy as always while trapped in her hug. "I'll need a few days to clean it up…today's Thursday?"

"Yes," Amy was fixing her dress, paired with a black blazer to class it up a bit. It was nice to see those rad red boots again.

"All right, you can move in Saturday," Sonic explained. "I'll head over there in a bit to check on things, and—"

"Thanks, Sonic!" Amy interrupted. "Cream and I are lucky to have a supportive friend like you!"

That was then, and this is now. Sonic placed his hand on the doorknob, trembling already, regretting the doughnut, and forced himself to go inside before he could turn tail and run away like a coward.

His heart was beating so fast that he could barely breathe. His head swam as he looked around.

It was the same as when he'd left it for Angel Island. The couch was covered in blood, the floor caked with vomit. The kitchen still smelled like burnt chili, and the ceiling was scorched black over the stove. Sonic's stomach churned uneasily, and he took several swigs of the soda to keep his stomach's contents where they belonged. He wasn't sure, now, that he could pull that off, but he was going to try his damnedest anyway.

The whole house smelled like blood and semen…both Knuckles' and his own. There were several places that smelled like vomit, including both dirty bathrooms. Sonic went into the downstairs bath. There were a few wet magazines, most of them track record listings and the male equivalent of the playboy bunny (were they called playgirls?), on the edge of the ceramic tub cemented into the ground. The toilet seat was closed, and Sonic didn't care to open it. At the sink was an old blow-dryer. The mirror was cracked over the toilet and bloody, probably when Knux had smashed his head against it in a drunken rage…Sonic took another swig of soda and moved on.

The main bedroom's sheets were stained, tussled, and disgusting. The comforters were caked with vomit and blood. Sonic retched, and couldn't keep it down for all the world. He vomited right where he stood, careful to avoid his shoes. It was a sickly mess of brown and white foam, and chocolate bits of doughnut. Just seeing it was enough to make him retch again, but this time, he swallowed it back down, chasing it with coke. He rummaged around for an empty container and found a brown cardboard box filled with empty beer cans.

Sonic dumped out the cans and set the box on the cleaner side of the bed. Trembling with illness and the heaviness of too many memories, he opened up the drawers in the dresser, looking for anything belonging to Knuckles.

_Snow is falling down, sticking to the carpet. Why won't he let me close the windows? He's at the toilet, vomiting, I'm in bed, shivering with fever. Why did I save his life? I wouldn't have, if I knew this is what would come of it. He comes out, throws me down, kisses me roughly, tells me he loves me, asks why I'm sweating. He's not home, but all the windows are open. The night's cold. Why is it so cold? Why am I sweating? I can't come up with an answer, that's against his rules tonight, he thinks I'm dreaming of Shadow's butt, I wish he didn't own a belt…I'm so cold. He owns a strap. He buys belts just to hit me. He doesn't even wear pants…To see my friends tomorrow, he has to give me permission. It's just Tails and Amy, but I have to promise not to eat, to say I ate, to plead with them I'm not hungry. If Amy cooks, I won't resist. I can't…but I have to. I miss my old life. I miss space. _

The light in the bedroom turned on, startling the blue hedgehog lost in his memories, making him jump, reach for the soda bottle and take a swig, come what may. Sonic was afraid that everything in his life so far had been a dream, even the sex with Shadow, that he might've been in a coma, and now Knuckles was here to wake him up…

But it wasn't his worst nightmare come true. It was just Eggman.

The benevolent evil scientist stood in the doorway. "My, you're jumpy."

"You would be, too," Sonic muttered, trembling so much, he couldn't even speak properly, "if this was a house you once shared with your worst enemy."

"I shared a planet with my worst enemy for many years, and I never knew him. Do you know who my worst enemy was?" Eggman strode over to the bed, stopping just short of where fresh vomit had been added to the nastiness of the discolored carpet. "My worst enemy was myself. I wanted to take over the world so badly, I would've destroyed everything, anything, to get there. To make it my own. And I never knew that the person I was fighting wasn't you." He was watching Sonic throw Knuckles' gloves and socks into the box, swigging his soda and trying not to collapse from the immense weight that was depriving him of oxygen, almost making him faint. "It was myself I was fighting, all along."

"I'm glad you're here," Sonic admitted quietly, sadly, "even if you're not making much sense."

"The point of being your spirit guide is to come when you need me." Eggman walked over to him and placed a huge, meaty hand on his shoulder. "You need me now. You need me to tell you that your old life is over. That you really live and had sex with Shadow the Hedgehog. That you are really allowed to eat again."

"This…isn't a dream?" Sonic looked up at the doctor innocently.

Eggman smiled. "No, this isn't a dream. You're awake."

Sonic stopped. The drawer before him was empty. "Is that all of it?"

"Yes." Eggman jumped as Sonic walked through him obliviously. "Do you need your cell phone? It's with the other soda, in your bag. Are you going to call Shadow?"

"Are you kidding? He can't know I'm here." Sonic picked up the phone in the kitchen, dialing a number so fast, Eggman couldn't make it out. "Comeoncomeoncomecomeoncomeon!"

"You have Tails on speed dial…" Eggman pointed out, just as Sonic said: "Hello, Tails."

"Yes, I need my bank account…what? I know…yes. Yes. Listen, I need my PIN number, and the account name." Sonic was scribbling something on a notepad. Eggman watched with detached disinterest. "Yes. Yes. Okay. And the bank's number? Okay. That's 540-553-6645? Yeah, okay…will do…give my love to the twins and Cosmo. Yeah. Okay. Bye." Sonic hung up and dialed another number. While he talked, he pulled out a phone directory from under the counter ad began flipping through the pages. "Hello? Mobius National Bank? This is Sonic the Hedgehog." He waited impatiently until the fangirlish screaming on the other end died down. "Yes, I know. Yes. Listen, I need you to access my bank account, PIN number 76642." He tapped his fingers impatiently. After a few minutes, he stopped. "Yes…I need to make a withdrawal. Two-thousand dollars. Have the check…yes…have the check forwarded to the house of—never mind, I'll come pick it up. Yes, today if possible…thank you!" He hung up the phone and dialed a new number. "Hello? Happy Maid Service?"

_Let's get lost tonight…_

_And you don't give a fuck what they all say right?_

The maid service's company car pulled up and three young women dressed in black and white apron-dresses with cleaning supplies popped out. Sonic was talking to the driver, a fourth maid.

"It's a big job." He explained. "I need it done by Saturday." He was watching the opossum's mood changing sour. "I'm willing to pay you two-thousand." The woman's eyes grew wide. "Great. Then we understand each other." He grabbed his bag. "Good bye." Then, he ran off.

While he was running, the doctor was laughing contentedly in his head.

_This begins the next line of drama! Come back next time for the most amazing Torn in Two!_

_Lyrics: Stronger by Kanye West_

_By the way, sorry for the delay! The site glitched :( _

_MORE TO COME!_


	81. Feasting on Secrets

**Feasting on Secrets**

_Here we sit,_

_Gorging ourselves_

_Feasting on secrets._

_But all the while,_

_We never tell of ourselves._

_~Sylvie_

"Is everything all right, Sonic?" Shadow asked, looking up at his boyfriend across the table as he shoved a spoonful of peas into his mouth. "You haven't really touched your food."

Sonic was indeed only pushing around the food on his plate, like a toddler with an upset stomach. He sighed and looked up. "I'm fine, it's just…" he looked away, running a hand through his quills. "Do you remember my old house?"

Shadow had never been to Sonic's old house, but he'd heard about it, so he nodded.

"Amy and Cream need a place to stay, so I gave it to them." Sonic finished.

"Okay," Shadow munched his potatoes, "so…what's the problem?"

"I had to go there to box up Knuckles' stuff and get it out of there," Sonic explained.

"I knew it involved Knuckles," Shadow hissed stiffly. "It's not fair what he did to you."

"Stop. That's old news," Sonic replied casually, but emotionlessly. "I'm going to the house tomorrow to make the final preparations for the girls' move-in. Knuckles will be there to pick up his stuff, but after the girls get comfy, you can take me home."

"Do you need me to do anything for you?" Shadow stood up, going to bring his dish to the sink.

"Actually, yeah. I need a new table lamp for the living room."

"What sort of table lamp?"

"I dunno." Sonic shrugged, getting up and dumping his food in Jamie's bowl. "The other one we had was dull…get something more colorful this time."

Shadow laughed. "Colorful. Got it."

"And be civil to Knuckles!" Sonic warned.

"Why?" Shadow whined, swiping Sonic's plate away from under the rotating spoon gathering no substance and smartly covering it in plastic wrap in case Sonic changed his mind about dinner. When Sonic decided to go hungry, he didn't usually change his mind…but he could. Very easily. "He put you through hell! The _last_ thing I want to do is treat him 'civily'…" Shadow shivered. "Uck. I think I'm going to vomit."

"Stop! Stop," Sonic got up swiftly from the table and sashayed until he was beside Shadow, leaning against the sink as his lover washed dishes. "C'mon now, Shadow. You actually _need_ to be emotionless this time!"

Shadow rolled his eyes, knowing Sonic was referring to his careless, stern disinterest of his antihero days of old. "All right, then. I'll do it for you!" Sonic kissed his cheek, but Shadow flushed more out of rage than love. "But I owe him _nothing_, you hear? _**NOTHING**_!"

"Shush, you're scaring the dog," Sonic took out some cold chicken cutlets from the fridge and threw them to Jamie.

"I mean it, Sonic!"

"Shut up and get to bed!" Sonic hissed, not unkindly.

"Fine!" Shadow roared. "But you'd better be willing to turn some tricks tonight!"

"No sex!" Sonic yelled from the bathroom. "I'll only be a minute!"

"No sex and he wants to play…" muttered Shadow. "Well, that doesn't mean I won't cum," he reminded himself. Just thinking of that last time gave him an erection, and he didn't bother calming himself.

Sonic came out of the bathroom…soaking wet.

_And now, you wanna see how far down I can sink?_

_Let me go, fuck!_

_So, you can, well now so, you can_

_I'm so far away from you._

As they were playing in bed, Sonic's mind was mostly elsewhere. His gift (and his curse) meant that he could practically zone out while being aroused, act like he was in it, and be someplace entirely different.

He was daydreaming about tomorrow, making himself a to-do list, imagining it was Shadow he was rolling around with in the grass, in the wake of Cosmic War.

_"I thought you never got tired, hmm? Your chest is still heaving."_

Well, he was certainly tired. Tired of this. Tired of all this. Tired of dealing with Knuckles, of the glaring simplicity of it all…

Well. Tomorrow would be his last trip to his old house. Henceforth, it would be Amy and Cream's house. And that was going to be the end of that.

And then maybe, just maybe, he would never have to see Knuckles again.

_Lyrics: My Chemical Romance-This is How I Disappear_


	82. This is How I Disappear

**This is How I Disappear**

_Yeah…title sucks. Deal with it._

"We're here, Mr. Knuckles!" called the squirrel taxi cab driver from the front seat. "It certainly looks busy! I wonder what's going on?"

"Sure," Knuckles stretched. He hated being woken up at eleven by a phone call telling him to report here to pick up his stuff. A phone call from Sonic the Hedgehog, no less, who had probably been here since the early hours of the morning. Knuckles was far from an early riser—he usually didn't wake up until noon! He fished in his socks for some bills. "Here's the fare for the trip, plus a little extra to just keep it idling. I need to get some things. Open the trunk, will ya, mac?"

"Yeah, sure." The squirrel pressed a button on the dash and the trunk opened. He then took out a short story magazine called _The Acorn_ and began to read.

Knuckles got out of the taxi and took a look at the house. Sonic had spared no expense in its upkeep. He wasn't sure what Sonic was planning to do with this house, since obviously he now lived with Shadow, but he was sure he didn't care. Past the fact he actually had to wake up early to get his shit. He sighed, annoyed, and walked up the pathway, humming an old echidna drinking song to himself.

When he got to the porch, he noticed a flowery cushion replaced the old raggedy one on the newly whitewashed porch swing. A white kitten, barely noticeable amongst the surroundings, gave a huge yawn and watched him warily. Knuckles glared. He _hated_ cats.

With a sigh, the echidna opened the door. An orange kitten about the same age as the white one pushed past him, as if it had been waiting to be let out. The kitten leapt up onto the porch's railing and began to lick its white-mittened paw. Knuckles turned his back on the street, and the cats, and walked into the house, closing the door behind him.

The house would be dark, except for the open windows, because there were no lights on. The drapes had been drawn back, and a calming breeze wafted through the windows, making the newly bleached (or replaced) lace curtains float outwards several feet like benevolent ghosts. The ornate, foreign carpet was newly washed, and Knuckles could see the intricate pattern of a maze winding throughout the royal reds, purples, blues, and greens. On the floor by the door were several reusable shopping bags, filled with assorted food and drink. The bags were whimsically adorned with tomatoes, grapes, peas, and even flowers and animals, some of them! Knuckles shook his head, chuckling. Then, his ears were alerted to another sound.

First, there was a whoosh of air so fierce that it upset some magazines lying out on the table. A blue hedgehog, probably no older than twenty-one, but looking much more twenty-three, bent to pick up the magazines and set them back on the table. His legs were thin but strong, and his chest sloped downward to a trim waist. His long quills pressed down against his back, and as he got up, his bones cracked slightly. He and Knuckles stood eye to eye.

"Hello, Sonic," Knuckles began casually.

"How do you do?" Sonic replied, disaffected. He seemed to be doing his best not to know the echidna. He turned away on his heel, picked up four of the shopping bags, two in each hand, opened the door with a flick of the wrist, propped it open with a gray and white rabbit made of stone with brown marble eyes (brand new, Knuckles noted), whistled to the cats, and then walked to the kitchen, all in one graceful, seamless movement. Knuckles, still awed by Sonic's effeminate beauty, followed him in a daze.

The kitchen was repainted from a dull, forest green to a bright, welcoming orange. Rooster piping lined the stove, the counter, and continued around the room. A blue knit tablecloth sat on the table, where a vase sat primed with water, ready for flowers. It was an elegant crystal vase, shaped like a closed lily. Sonic set the bags on the counter with a huff and began unpacking their contents, never losing his fluidity. Knuckles, who rightly felt unwelcome, lingered in the open doorway.

"This must have cost you a fortune," Knuckles mused.

"Around two thousand five hundred for cleaning," Sonic responded simply, "a thousand more for new furnishings."

"Wow." Knuckles nodded approvingly, not knowing what else to do. "That's somethin."

Sonic said nothing and continued to unpack the bags. He opened the refrigerator and placed two cartons of milk, several kinds of cheeses, a carton of eggs, and two cartons each of pink lemonade, fruit punch, orange juice, and grape juice. He also put a bottle of seltzer and a few packages of meat inside. Knuckles licked his lips, a little hungry himself.

Sonic opened the fourth page and produced several fresh flowers, which he placed inside the vase. He spent a few minutes arranging and rearranging them, a thoughtful frown on his face. Then, he breezed past Knuckles without giving him a second glance, and picked up the last shopping bag, whisking it away into the kitchen and setting it on the table, to be left for now. This one was adorned with two kittens sleeping on a pink pillow-bed.

The door was still open, and the kittens were at either side of the doorway, staring out, but Sonic paid them no mind. Knuckles saw now that the white one had a pink bow tied around its neck. He assumed the bows told their sexes—male and female. Sonic went into the downstairs bathroom with a duster, and Knuckles followed.

The space was cramped—the tub and shower combo taking up most of the room. Knuckles took a look at the new shower curtain, adorned with pretty seashells. The bathroom had been redone from a rusty color to a turquoise blue. Instead of one large wall mirror, there was instead only a small porthole mirror, enough to look at oneself in.

"You fixed the mirror…" Knuckles began, reaching his hand out to touch it.

"Replaced it," Sonic moved and their hands touched. The hedgehog's head turned rapidly towards Knuckles, and they shared a look. After a moment, Sonic's eyes narrowed. "You are touching my hand, and I am feeling your hand, and it is making me want to vomit."

Knuckles smirked. "So do it, then. I bet you could use it after all that pigging out you've been doing."

Sonic flushed and looked away, but Knuckles withdrew his hand. Sonic shoved Knuckles into the sink and moved past him into the bedroom. Knuckles studied his appearance in the mirror a beat before following Sonic once again.

The main bedroom was now painted black, with purple dressers and a novelty table lamp from some creepy Timothy Barkon movie. The bed, however, was covered in a girly pink bedspread with ornate pink pillowcases, and the floor was covered in a feminine pink carpet, covered in roses. At the door, as far away from the rest of the room as possible, was an old cardboard box. Sonic pointed to it while he was dusting the dressers.

"There's your stuff. Now get out."

"Not so fast, Sonic," Knuckles walked into the room, feeling Sonic cringe although he pretended disinterest. "You're hungry, aren't you? Oh, yes, I can see it now, as I get closer. You're always a little shaky, a little off balance, when you're hungry. When it's been several hours since you've had a decent meal…" Knuckles laughed as he was proved correct by Sonic's stomach letting out a long, low growl. Sonic flushed and dusted more furiously than before. Knuckles was a mere ten steps away from Sonic, the closest he'd dared to get to Sonic since their break-up. "You know, you never actually said the words 'I'm breaking up with you' to me." The echidna looked at his knuckles with pride. "Maybe you couldn't say it. Maybe because you didn't _want_ to."

Sonic's brain was fighting his body, trying to think of words to sting Knuckles back, to prove to him that he had never loved him the way he loved Shadow. He started by changing the subject. "I had sex with Shadow," he began, his voice thick with attitude, brimming with confidence the more he went on. "I turned tricks for him I _never_ turned for you," Knuckles was seething, and Sonic was winning, and he knew it. "Shadow's _mine_ now. And I'm his. So, be a dear and don't damage the goods, hmm?"He chuckled at his own wit, slipping by Knuckles effortlessly. Angry, Knuckles followed.

"You bitch! You ungrateful little _whore_!"

"Oh, please," Sonic dismissed with a laugh, although his ears shook just a little to hear those words again. "You're already a stupid drunk. Don't be stupid when you're sober." That almost made Knuckles calm completely. "Here," Sonic fished into his sock and took out a couple of bucks. He handed them to Knuckles. "Have yourself a smoke on me and chill, will ya? "I tell ya, don't be stupid," He sat down on the couch—new, Knuckles realized, an enchanting black on red zebra pattern. Sitting there, relaxed, Sonic looked like Shadow's boy. And Knuckles knew that Sonic was now and always had been Shadow's lover. "Shadow's coming." And he grinned.

At that exact moment, before Knuckles could even blink, the roar of a car engine split the silence. A long black car that looked a bit like the Bat Mobile pulled into the driveway. Sonic jumped up, and the two cats scattered. The hedgehog went to the door, out to the porch, down the steps, with Knuckles ten paces behind. When he got to the door, he stopped.

Sonic was in the middle of a deep, passionate kiss with Shadow. It was in the open, it was obvious what they were doing, the whole _world_ could see them. And they didn't care. For some reason, that made Knuckles angry again, but he reminded himself he had his own boy at home to fuck, fixing him a brunch of bacon, grapes, and eggs. He licked his lips hungrily to think of it, but jumped when Shadow opened the back seat of the car, pulled out a box, and started towards the house with it, laughing and talking with Sonic the whole time. Knuckles stepped back from the door as if pushed by an invisible hand as Shadow walked inside.

"It's nice," Shadow commented, looking around. "Please do _our_ house next, Sonic! I think I like _your_ taste better than Rouge's!"

"That's because you've never tasted Rouge, m'love," Sonic joked, giggling as he was kissed by the dark hedgie.

"Where should I put this?" Shadow asked lightly, but when his eyes passed over Knuckles, his glare intensified and his fur stood on end so he looked like a prickle brush. "Sonic? Why is he still here?"

"Oh, I told you to be nice!" Sonic scolded, running over to massage Shadow's shoulders. "I don't need to introduce you. Surely you know each other."

"Dickweed," Shadow began.

"Prick." Knuckles retorted.

"Drunk!"

"Bisexual!"

"Shitbrain!"

"Ultimate Letdown!"

"Enough!" Sonic interrupted. "Enough now. Knuckles, your stuff is in the bedroom. Shadzy," he snuggled his boyfriend, "you can set the lamp down in that table, there, and go get my guitar in the attic. It's a red electric. You can't miss it!"

"All right, my dear," Shadow kissed Sonic's lips fleetingly. "Call me if you need me."

Sonic gave a little wave and turned his attention back to the kitchen. Knuckles saw him placing four cat bowls onto a little feeding mat, two filled with water and the others something that smelled like tuna fish. The white kitten came to eat, daintily and full of grace. The orange kit was nowhere to be found.

There was silence as the kitten ate and Sonic rearranged the flowers for the sixth time. Knuckles awkwardly stared out the window, lingering when he knew he had no right to, running his fare up just by sitting here. But, someone, he couldn't leave until he knew what all this is for.

There was a tumbling of things from upstairs, and a curse, and Shadow's voice came down the steps: "Sonic!"

The blue hedgehog was alert in an instant, and at the foot of the steps before Knuckles could even begin to wonder what was going on. "What is it, Shads?"

"I found the orange kit," Shadow replied.

"Is he all right?" Sonic asked. "I was looking for that rascal—how'd you know?"

"Lucky guess?" Shadow chuckled. "Fine, except his bow is ripped."

"Oh, well that's no problem. I have a spare. Bring him down, if you can manage. I'll take care of him for now."

"Will do, Sonic." Shadow came downstairs wearing the red guitar, the orange kitten safe in his arms.

"Oh, my boy," Sonic cooed to the kitten as Shadow handed him over, "do behave yourself for Amy and Cream, won't you? Your new mommies? Hmmm?"

"Amy and Cream?" Knuckles asked.

"Yeah. They need a place to stay, and, well," Sonic made a little 'ta da' motion. "This is their house now!"

"Mmmm," Knuckles nodded thoughtfully. "Now all the pink makes sense."

Sonic laughed. "Yeah, I'm gay, but I'm not _that_ gay."

"Pfft." Knuckles snorted. "Yeah."

Sonic set the orange kitten down on the table and held him with one hand while he reached under the table and grabbed a length of ribbon with the other. "Hold still," he told the kitten as he tied the bow. The white kitten leapt up to the chair that was on one side of the table, put her paws up, and watched with intrigue. Her eyes were orange, which was strange, Knuckles thought. The orange kit had beautiful green eyes, much like Sonic's that sparkled with just enough mischief. When the bow was done, the kit pawed at it, mewing frustratingly.

"Now, now," Sonic scolded, "don't you go taking it off yet. It's important you look pretty for Amy and Cream." The kitten blinked, as if he understood. "Good!" Sonic, satisfied, turned his attention to the lamp. Knuckles went out to the porch, where Shadow was sitting on the porch swing, hypnotically moving it back and forth, the creaking not an uncommon sound in Knuckles' ears.

"You know, he told me to be nice to you," Shadow began, looking inside or a million miles away. "He doesn't want to start another fight with you."

"Mmmnn," Knuckles replied, crossing his arms over his chest, looking for yellow or white dandelions on the freshly cut lawn. "I know he doesn't. I'd love to have a shouting match with him, for old time's sake, but…"

"But you'll do no such thing," Shadow replied sternly. "He doesn't want to, and I don't want to, either."

There was a moment of silence. Knuckles looked over his shoulder at the dark hedgehog. "He told me he turned some new tricks," he grinned, "was he bluffing?"

Shadow flinched, but he didn't answer. Knuckles went on. "Were they amazing?"

"Worth waiting for," Shadow admitted. "_Maybe_ if you'd been a proper boyfriend, I wouldn't be the first one seeing those tricks."

Knuckles humphed. "Alcohol. What can you do?" More silence. "D'ya drink?"

"Wine," Shadow answered flatly. "Sparingly; not often."

"What kind?"

"Sauvignon, zinfandel, and Bordeaux, mostly."

"Ah, a fancy redman, are ya?" Knuckles laughed, referring to the kinds of wine Shadow had mentioned. "I go for whisky myself. Cognac sometimes. Anything strong, potent."

"That would seem to fit your personality, yes."

"Sonic likes spiked things, mostly," Knuckles went on. "He'll do a little whisky, and he'll do a little beer, but he mostly likes champagne. He's really fancy as a drinker, y'know. Dainty, too. Won't drink right from the bottle."

"It's not wise to do that, if it's just a casual drink," Shadow pointed out.

"He's a prick," Knuckles snorted.

Shadow breathed to check his temper, and tried to peer through the lacy curtains at Sonic.

Finally, Sonic came to the door. "I just got a call from the girls," he looked at Shadow, and then at Knuckles. "They'll be here soon."

"All right, I'll go get my stuff." Knuckles pushed past Sonic into the house.

The blue hedgehog watched him go, and then crossed to Shadow, his hand outstretched. Shadow took his hand and got up, and the two descended into the yard.

When Knuckles came out with his stuff, Sonic and Shadow were side by side on the grass, Sonic resting his head innocently on Shadow's shoulder. It wasn't much more than a touch, an innocent reminder of Shadow's commitment and their love.

Knuckles put his things in the trunk and slammed it shut. "There. I'm going!" He called to the two on the grass. Sonic raised his hand and gave a thumb's up, and a wave. Shadow did nothing but stretch.

Knuckles got into the taxi and drove off. Long after the car was gone, Shadow turned to Sonic.

"Well, I guess we'd better get ready to greet the girls."

"Stop," Sonic prevented him from getting up by rolling over on top of him. "We have an hour at least."

"What? But you said—" as realization dawned, Shadow smirked up at his boyfriend, whose nose his own was innocently touching. "You lied."

Sonic giggled. "Yes I did."

Shadow chuckled, moving his hands down Sonic's hips. "Dirty, dirty liar. Promise me you'll never play me like that."

"Never." Sonic's eyes lidded as he pressed his muzzle against Shadow's. "I can't make any promises not to lie…in bed."

Shadow rolled Sonic over so he was on the bottom and they began to kiss, lying there against each other, undulating their bodies together like waves. Sonic was so happy, he could cry.

So…_this_ was love.


	83. Socrates and Efimia

**Socrates and Efimia**

Sonic and Shadow were swinging together on the porch swing when the girls arrived, Cream in a black hoodie and skinny jeans as usual, and Amy in a business suit. Sonic stood up and welcomed them with open arms. "Hiya," he smiled bashfully, especially as the girls rushed towards him to crush him in a huge. Shadow stood up as well, stretching his arms out to kingdom come, his mouth opening wide like a cave.

"Sonic," Amy mused as she hooked one arm about Sonic's waist, "it's _beautiful_! It's been so long since I've seen this house!"

"It looks like we'll have to pay more than a hundred a month," Cream agreed, squeezing Sonic's chest. "I earn that much in a single shift at my job!"

"Stop it, now!" Sonic laughed. "You girls need the money for your shop! That reminds me—I've got a surprise for you." He steered the girls inside, Shadow following. For once, he wasn't jealous that the girls were hogging all of Sonic's attention. They weren't getting the kind of attention _he_ most enjoyed.

The two kittens were sitting demurely on the table, feigning innocence, as cats always do. The girls' hearts melted, and they fled Sonic's side with a resounding 'awwwwww!'

"They're _adorable_, Sonic!" cried Amy, holding the little white one in her hands.

"I agree! Too cute!" Cream affirmed, rubbing her cheek against the orange kit's tiny face. "What're their names?"

"As of yet, boy and girl," Sonic replied. "They're yours, so you name em."

Cream held the little boy out in front of her. "You look like a Socrates to me." She turned towards her girlfriend, holding the kit to her chest. "Don't you think so, Miss Amy?"

Amy laughed, delighted that Cream was teasing her by being overly formal. "I think he looks positively scholarly, Creamy."

"You name yours, now!" Cream insisted.

"Hmmm…'Socrates' is a Greek name, so we'll have to give you something to match…" Amy nuzzled the kitten's tiny pink nose. "How about Efimia?" She looked to her girlfriend. "Sound good?"

"Yes! Yes!" Cream giggled. "Socrates and Efimia it is!"

Sonic smiled. "Great. I've got the adoption papers on the kitchen table, and a few things to get you started with them, but you can figure that out on your own." He held out a house key. "Here're the keys. You can have more made, if you like. The number's on the counter." He took Shadow's hand as Amy took the keys. "We'll leave you to unpack."

"Thank you, Sonic!" Amy giggled gleefully, stepping up on tiptoe to kiss Sonic's cheek.

"Thank you!" Cream did the same, and gave him one final squeeze for the road.

"We'll have to have a barbeque or something, to celebrate," Sonic assured them as he and Shadow were leaving. "Amy, you and I'll coordinate, okay?"

"Got it!" Amy waved at the doorway. "Call me!"

"You know it!" Sonic used his fingers to make a telephone, and winked. Amy giggled and closed the door.

Sonic and Shadow separated and walked to their respective seats in the car. "They're not going to unpack right away, are they?" Shadow asked once they were safely in the car.

Sonic was reclining, enjoying the feel of the air conditioning on his fur. "Probably not," he sighed, buckling. "Hey, can we get something to eat? I'm frickin _starving_, here."

Shadow buckled and reached over to fluff the fur on Sonic's belly. "Sure. Fast food sound good?"

"Does it ever!" Sonic exclaimed as Shadow started the car up. "Let's go!"

_Yeah…I dunno. Just a short chapter. More to come!_


	84. Come Break Me Down

_Stinking depressed reading Sonic Universe…WHY DOES SONIC HAVE TO BE, uh…a CORE? Hellloooooo it's called SONIC Universe for a reason, right? I might just have to write a retaliation…sound good to anyone?_

_Anyway, I digress. This sequence is massive, and will probably require multiple chapters. Hang tight and bear with me, and we'll get this set straight!_

_~Sylvie_

**Come Break Me Down**

_Come break me down_

_Bury me, bury me_

_I am finished with you_

_Look in my eyes_

_You're killing me, killing me_

_All I wanted was you_

Several weeks passed without a hitch. One dark and stormy night, however, would change the course of the following day…and maybe even the future.

Two couples were making merry tonight, connected by affairs made earlier in time, poetry of broken souls, and a swimming world. Now, we shall shed light on their situations.

Knuckles kicked open the door to the house up on Angel Island, carrying with him a white cardboard box inside which bottles were jingling merrily. He began to laugh upon seeing Espio's face. "What? Do I have something on my face?"

"No!" Espio emphasized with a defeated laugh. "But…you realize I have the keys right here?" He produced a set of house keys with a sparkling green emerald keychain hanging from them.

Knuckles shrugged. "I've been meaning to replace that door, anyway. You coming in, or what? It's raining cats and dogs out there!" He set the box down with a huff and started rooting through a small drawer in the nearby dresser. Espio came inside and sat down on the floor, absently polishing his throwing stars.

"What're you lookin for, hon?" He asked lightly, not taking his eyes off of the throwing star as Knuckles slammed the drawer shut and cursed.

"My bottle opener. Have you seen it?"

"It's in our bedroom dresser, third drawer to the right."

"Thanks." Knuckles went off to retrieve it. When he came back, he took a bottle out of the box, opened it, and stretched it out to Espio. The chameleon took it from him, smiling. "Here's to beer, life, and love!" Knuckles toasted, grabbing a bottle for himself and clinking against Espio's. "Cheers!"

…

Sonic and Shadow were in bed having a sexual play-fight without actual penetration. Although with Shadow's pushing, he may have been trying to get just that. After putting up a moment more with the thrashing of legs, Jamie gave an offended huff and leapt off the bed, trotting haughtily out of the room, head held high.

"Jamie!" Sonic called from the bed, his voice muffled from being against Shadow's chest. He poked his head out, calling for her again. "Jamie! I'm sorry! Come back! _Jamais_!"

"Mmmm, you sound like she's your lover and not me," Shadow whined, offering the cutest pout he could muster. Sonic merely scoffed at it.

"Ineffective."

"Nice. So you expect a master of darkness to have a cute pout? You're asking too much." Shadow slid upward, touching his hardened prick against Sonic's.

Sonic giggled, squirming and blushing like a schoolgirl, having fun, but not willing to admit it. "No, I don't. I just expect you to try harder to please me." He winked, his eyes shining with glee and trickery.

Shadow poked his muzzle under the front of Sonic's neck, exhaled, and nibbled along the jawline. Sonic thrust his head back, moaning and squeezing Shadow's shoulders, his legs thrashing in pleasure. "How was that?" Shadow asked between bites.

"Good," Sonic admitted ruefully, "but not _that_ good. Harder. Try harder."

"Harder?" Shadow raised up and cocked his head. "I'm already as hard as I can be. What more do you want?"

Sonic wriggled slightly under Shadow, causing friction in delicate areas and making the dark one moan with pleasure. "I didn't mean it like _that_, and you know it, smart ass. Now please me! Or I'll leave you."

Shadow frowned and reached one arm down under the covers. He wrestled around, looking for something. When he found it, Sonic screamed. "Better?" Shadow smirked, taking a minute to kiss Sonic passionately. "And, you won't leave me. You love me."

"I can leave this bed," Sonic pointed out, smirk in full force. "Where would you be then?"

Shadow wrinkled his brow in thought, and then went in for a long kiss. His fingers danced across Sonic's balls and up and down his penis. When Shadow began to fell out of breath, he pulled away, delighted to see that Sonic was looking a little blue in the face from lack of oxygen. "I'll make it so you can't leave," He replied. "I don't want to be without you for one more second."

Sonic gasped, trying to get oxygen. "Feeling's…mutual," he huffed.

_What if I_

_What if I_

Bottles lay scattered around. Hard rock blasted from the radio on the mini bar. The room had become a disaster in twenty minutes. Drunk as ever, chameleon and echidna lay sprawled a short distance from one another, flushed and sloshy from the drink.

They had, by now, lost all sense.

Espio had only seen Shadow a handful of times. And during all of these times, he'd been filled with terror. Seeing Shadow had been like seeing the Grim Reaper. But…that didn't mean this embodiment of death couldn't be downright sexy.

Espio admired that body that wasn't his to touch and squeeze, like some drool over porn. He wanted to feel that body moving against him, but he didn't necessarily love it. In this case, he was terrified of the man whose body this was.

And that's when Espio confessed.

"Daaahhmmm," he mused drunkenly, "Shadtho's gut sum finnnnn az."

"Wha…?" Knuckles giggled.

"Thado. Heth gut finn azz." Espio bubbled. "Mmmm…ah kinduh wan beh Thonic fur ah niith, thee wha ssss like."

In an instant, Knuckles' demeanor changed from piss drunk to downright angry. It was a mood Sonic had seen many times before—a look he had feared. But, Espio did nothing but smile, thinking of Shadow's beautiful body.

That's when the ultimatum, in the form of a powerful punch, came to him.

The punch made Espio sober in an instant. And he came face to face with murderous purple eyes. "What did you say?" Knuckles growled.

"What do you mean?" Espio cried, holding his cheek. He could taste blood. _Did one of my teeth come out? What happened?_ But, he grunted as a foot hit him hard in the stomach, making his stomach contents rise up his throat a little. Knuckles punched him again and again, using both fists to bop his head back and forth like a punching bag.

"You, you _said_ it!" He roared. "_You said you __**loved**__ SHADOW!_"

"I—I didn't!" Espio sobbed. "You gotta believe me, darlin!"

"_Never_!" Knuckles kicked Espio dangerously close to the groin. The chameleon, seeing there was no way to reason with his boyfriend, promptly turned himself invisible and crawled away.

"Where'd you go? Where'd you go?" Knuckles was punching the wall with his fists, trying to make contact. All it was making was holes.

Espio stayed quiet, making his way towards the door. He kept one ey steadily on Knuckles while looking at the door, something only chameleons could do. Naturally, however, it looked quite strange, so Espio only took advantage of this ability when he was invisible.

Once Espio had reached the door, he waited with baited breath until Knuckles punched the wall again. Then, with ninja speed, he flicked open the door, slammed it shut behind him, and ran out into the rain.

_Look in my eyes_

_You're killing me, killing me_

_All I wanted was you._


	85. What if I Wanted to Fight?

_Oh yeah. Lyrics for the last chapter are The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars. Why do I always forget?_

**What if I Wanted to Fight?**

Sonic yawned and looked up at the ceiling where the time was displayed in red numbers, his eyesight bleary and unable to make it out. The wind and rain and thunder and lightning hadn't ceased for several hours, but this was not what kept Sonic sleepless.

Sex, or what was close enough to it, never made him tired. His abuse had given him that gift—or curse. Besides, he never slept much at night, anyway. He was much too restless in the dark, afraid of something that wasn't there, turning every shadow into his worse nightmares come to haunt him.

Yeah, his abuse had messed him up good.

_He's drunk again, it's time to fight… _

_The living room becomes a boxing ring _

_It's time to run when you see him _

No. Sonic knew where he was. He hadn't previously been asleep…had he? Shadow was still snoring away beside him. Sonic chuckled. "Sex sure tires _you_ out, you little monster," he whispered. Shadow smiled in his sleep, and then went right on snoring again.

Sonic yawned again and rested his hands behind his head. He listened to the storm for a moment, and then decided to get up for just a little while. His throat was scratchy and could use a warm drink. It hadn't quite been the same since he'd had a respirator shoved down it…but if that was the least of his worries, he was glad for it.

He strode into the living room, stretching his arms out over his head and grunting from the sleepiness knit tight in his bones. He heard Jamie's startled sniff, her call to attention, and whispered sweetly to her before she had time to bark and possibly wake Shadow. He lit a mechanical candle and put it in the window and then made himself a quick cup of tea, adding lemon and honey to treat his throat.

He had just curled up into the couch and was about to watch a little tv when Jamie started to growl threateningly. Sonic thought that the storm was making her nervous, so he shushed her, bringing her to his lap. But when there was a forceful knock at the door, Sonic got up to open it.

He was expecting it to be a giant branch, but what he found was…shocking, to say the least. Sonic had to keep his jaw from dropping. "_Espio_?" he cried in shock. "What happened?"

Espio said nothing. He was holding one arm with the other submissively and looking down at his feet. Sonic could smell liquor on him—a strong smell, maybe whiskey—that he hadn't smelled in a long time. It made a part of his brain twitch. But, he was still compassionate, and could leave no one in the cold. Even someone he disliked. "Come in," he welcomed, stepping aside. Espio limped in and Sonic steered him to the couch, turning on the desk lamp as he did so. He went into the bathroom and sorted through the laundry for a blanket. He came back with a fleece throw and put it around the chameleon's shoulders. Espio quickly wrapped himself entirely in it, shivering.

Sonic went to the kitchen to prepare two mugs of hot cocoa, topping both generously with marshmallows and hot fudge. Then he returned, offering one to Espio. The chameleon took it, his eyes reading gratefulness.

Sonic sat in the recliner a small distance from the couch and curled his knees to his waist, sipping his cocoa, watching Espio do the same. Now that Sonic could see him, he noticed the chameleon had blood on his cheek, along with bruises on his face, the sides of his head, and a few on his belly. The hedgehog decided the beginning would be the best place to start. "What happened, Es? Tell me." He stopped, and then rephrased. "You can tell me. I won't hurt you for it." He smiled weakly, trying to get Espio to talk. His heart bled with compassion already for the chameleon, but his heart would soon bleed with empathy, once he knew the whole story.

Espio took another sip of cocoa and then began in a soft, beaten voice, ridden with sobs and tears. "I—I should tell you something first. Something you might not like," he swallowed. Sonic waited for him to continue. "I…I think Shadow is sexy," Espio said at last.

Sonic smiled. "Well, at least _some_one agrees with me! I'm not mad, Es, just as long as you know he's mine…and you don't love him, right? So, we're cool." Sonic sipped his drink again. "Relax."

Espio sighed with relief, although it sounded more like he was about to cry again. Tears streamed down his face. "Well, it's just that—see, I was drunk—well, we both were drunk—and I let it slip that I thought Shadow—and then he _hit_ me! Again and _again_…" Espio put his hand to his eyes as Sonic sat wide-eyed.

_No…no! I thought it stopped with me!_

_Never before have I ever _

_Seen it this bad… _

_Never Again_

"Espio…" Sonic's heart clenched. "I'm—I'm so sorry."

Espio shrugged. "It's not like it's your fault. I just needed someone to talk to, who would understand. You—he hurt you worse, I know he did. He—"

"Stop," Sonic got up from the chair and went to sit beside Espio. "I know how it feels. You think it's your fault," he tried to reach his hand out in comfort, but Espio only shrunk away in fear, so he backed off. "I _am_ sorry. I'm a hero, Es. I've spent my whole life feeling sorry for those I couldn't save. I know what you went through, and, in the end, there wasn't somebody to nip it in the bud for me so quickly." He smiled. "But…there is for you."

Espio sniffled. "I—I'll get a hotel room. I can't go home, and I can't stay here—Shadow doesn't know—"

"Calm down," Sonic ordered softly, but firmly. "You're not going anywhere by yourself. You're drunk; I can smell it on you. And you certainly can't go home." He stood swiftly with purpose, his eyes glazed over. Jamie was at his heels. Jack had jumped up to the back of the couch and was sitting just behind Espio's head, purring madly. The hedgehog started to pace, mumbling to himself. The chameleon watched, shivering, curious as to what Sonic would do next.

In a second, Sonic was invisible. He returned from the bedroom with his shoes and a waterproof poncho. He slipped on his shoes and tightened them, throwing on the poncho afterwards, the waterproof material's rustling deafening in the quiet. Jamie was looking up at her master, wagging her tiny pom pom tail.

"How did you know I was drunk?" Espio asked finally, his voice beaten. It was as if he was afraid to ask a question—even of someone as gentle with broken souls as Sonic.

"Correct yourself; you're _still_ drunk." Sonic replied flatly. His mind was elsewhere, as he rummaged through the drawer on the table by the door, the hat stand, Shadow's coat pockets. "It's not hard to tell someone's drunk," he went on, "there's a certain amount of liquor that brings anybody under, and you've got it, my friend. Nobody gets over being drunk like a shot. Believe me." He whooped silently in triumph and produced keys. Espio looked from Sonic to the door.

"You're gonna drive?" He wondered. Even as a detective, he'd no idea Sonic had a license, never mind being able to drive.

Sonic nodded. "Well, we'll see. You don't have a weak stomach?" He didn't wait for an answer to that question. "In any event, I can't really lift any more than…" he stopped a moment to calculate, gave up, and substituted something without numbers instead. "…than a heavy grocery bag. That can't be more than twenty-five pounds…? Nevermind I've never benched. So, I can't carry you. No offense, but I really don't want to, either."

"None taken," Espio assured, standing with some difficulty. His legs ached from running, and his face hurt from being beat. Even though Sonic had been through worse…oh! How did he ever manage to do all he did? He looked at Sonic in awe. This hedgehog had n=become the strongest person he knew.

This hedgehog. This skinny hedgehog. Who still couldn't weigh more than sixty-seven pounds (still underweight). Who had never benched. Who couldn't lift more than a heavy grocery bag. Who was speaking. Espio half-listened, with that attentiveness of the dying. A failure to comprehend, and an understanding enough to last forever.

"I'll have you stay at my old house," Sonic was saying, "the girls are there now, but you'll just stay out of their way? I'll leave them a note. Come on." He opened the door and went out into the night. Espio, terrified of being alone in the house when Shadow might wake up any second, followed. He quickly fell in step directly behind Sonic.

The blue hedgehog got into the car on the driver's side, and Espio slid into the passenger's seat. Sonic struggled with starting the car, but succeeded after some cussing. Espio found the seat below him warm, and he reveled in the innocent comfort.

"The seat heats," Sonic giggled, noting Espio's obvious contentment. "Shads had it installed for me when I was sick. Marvelous, isn't it?" He grinned, and gripped the steering wheel eagerly with both hands like a teenager driving for the first time. "I wonder if I can't get this to…? Ah! There we go!" Sonic pulled the sleek black car out of the driveway and floored it down the street. At this hour, there weren't many cars, and Sonic was good at driving fast. Espio, when his eyes weren't closed for fear of crashing, kept watching the speedometer.

They were touching 150.

_I really don't mind what happens now and then_

_As long as you'll be my friend at the end_

Espio felt freed by the speed. Sonic was fully concentrated on the road. He never even shifted his fingers from the wheel. The chameleon understood Sonic's love of speed, now. It was so simple, to just watch the world rush passively by, refusing to affect you. He closed his eyes and listened to the car's engine roaring, the pavement vibrating and grinding beneath them, as if it was about to give way.

Suddenly, Sonic screeched to a halt. Espio was thrown forward, nearly hitting the windshield were it not for seatbelts. The car was turned off, and Sonic coughed nervously. Espio giggled with the same nervousness.

"Thanks for trying to kill me. I'm sorry it didn't work."

"I am _never _driving _again_!"

There was uneasy laughter as they walked up to the house. The night was proving to be hellish. The rain pelted straight through their skin like knives. Even below the poncho, Sonic was soaking wet. Espio was chilled to the bone, even though the rain merely slid down his body and didn't stick to make him cold. But the suffering was welcome next to, well…

Sonic unlocked the house with the turn of a key and they went inside. Espio crinkled his nose. It smelled overwhelmingly of girl. Perfume was in the air, as well as the smell of baking. Lipstick and mascara were laid out on the table just inside the door. Eyeshadow residue dusted the floor. But Sonic walked right into this place of pink and ponies not caring a trifle. Espio followed.

The hedgehog flicked a light in the kitchen, keeping it dim. He yawned, stretching his arms out over his head, the poncho long discarded. Espio could faintly see the outline of his ribs as he stretched himself. "It smells good," he mused, more to himself than anyone else. "Amy's vanilla chocolate chip cookies. Mmm. How does she stay skinny like she is? Mmmnnm," He turned around, his back to Espio, and pulled out a length of paper towel from the rack. He wet it under the faucet, soaped it up, and handed it, dripping wet, to Espio. "Here. Wash your cuts. It'll sting, but keep at it. Missing any teeth? Did he hit you with the shovel claw?"

"No," Espio replied meekly, holding the paper towel to his face.

Sonic nodded, satisfied with the answer. "Good. Me too. I'm not sure why, to this day…" he rummaged through some drawers until he came up with a pad of paper and a pen. Espio jumped when he felt something soft brush up against his leg, but it was only a small white kitten with a pink collar around its neck. The kitten meowed softly. Sonic looked at it. "Hey, Efimia. Mia, Mia," he bent down and placed his hand out, and the kitten dug its small head into his palm. "Mia, Mia," he straightened up and went back to writing. Or scribbling. His handwriting looked like a small child's. "I'm telling them what you're doing here—not too many details, so don't worry—and not to feed you. I'll be back for you early, so don't expect to be fed. I'll bring something for you to eat." He looked at Espio, his eyes bright, but glassy and exhausted. "Will that do?"

Espio nodded, scratching his arm and looking at the floor. He was hungry to the point of madness, now that he was thinking about food, but something about being in this house made him uneasy. He looked up as Sonic gently brushed his shoulder in passing, chased out of his own thoughts.

"I'll put you upstairs," Sonic explained in a whisper. "There's an extra bedroom upstairs. It isn't much, but the girls don't go up here. You'll be safe." Safe. That word was a blessing to him.

The bedroom was simple, and not at all decorated. The things up here appeared to be gathering dust. There was an old trunk in the corner that smelled of sand and hyacinth. The bed was made out of gray wood, much like a cot on a ship. There was a small desk lamp, and a large closet, which the bed apparently folded up into. Espio swallowed, looking into the darkness of that closet as he sat timidly on the bed while Sonic ran around, turning up what must've been years of dust. Finally, Sonic opened a window. Lightning flashed across the sky. "Safe." Sonic repeated with a sense of accomplishment. He turned to look at Espio in the dark, and was beside him like silent footsteps. "They own two cats who won't bother you. Just be careful. They like it up here, or at least Socrates does. The girls don't use this—I didn't intend for them to." Espio looked at the floor where Sonic was standing…and nearly threw up.

Blood stains.

Espio choked on sobs and vomit. Sonic helped him to a sink and stayed with him until he was finished. When it was over, he smiled weakly at Espio, but he looked a bit green himself. "Get some rest." He urged, covering the blood stains with an old carpet. "Don't think about it. You're safe now. I'll come for you in the morning." He turned to leave. Espio clutched the covers, and gathered his courage to say one last thing.

"Wait!"

Sonic turned around, his hand on the railing. "Yeah, Es?"

"Uh…thank you," Espio mumbled, looking at the sheets.

"You're welcome." There was the sound of wind and Sonic was gone.

Espio was alone in the darkness.

Alone.

And safe.

_Lyrics are Never Again by Nickelback and Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down_


	86. Tell Me No Lies

**Tell Me No Lies**

_Tell me no lies,_

_Spin me no secrets,_

_Create not for me a fictional tale._

_I only want the truth._

_~Sylvie_

Amy and Cream found it weird having a boy in the house. Even when living with Vanilla, they had seen only women. And even though they were not attracted to Espio sexually, and though they knew he was gay, they were careful not to undress before him, kiss before him, hold hands before him, or be underdressed before him, as they were not afraid to be around Sonic. Amy had been the first downstairs, being the early riser of the couple, and was the first to find the note. Espio wandered downstairs soon after she'd found it, but Amy was gone, getting dressed and waking Cream, gossiping in hushed whispers about Sonic's note and the boy in their living room.

It's hard to describe how these girls felt having a gay man in their house, and a quiet one at that. Espio was far more reserved now than he'd ever been with the Chaotix. The closest word to how they felt is unnerved. It isn't quite the right word, but it'll do.

As per the directions on the letter, the girls didn't feed Espio, nor did he ask to bed fed. He sat on the very edge of the black and red zebra couch like someone waiting to go somewhere excitedly, though his hands were clasped at his knees and his eyes perused the carpeted floor. In his vision, he saw the white kitten playing with a ball of yarn bigger than she was. And he wanted to choke the kitten, in that instant, though he didn't. He wanted to kill the innocence and happiness and bliss represented in that kitten because he was in pain, had been in pain. Because he had been abused by his lover. His thoughts were not on Sonic, and his abuse, now. He didn't remember the bloodstain on the carpet that had made him vomit. He didn't remember any of it. He only found refuge in his own pain.

The girls talked in hushed whispers in the kitchen. Cream, dressed in a red and blue plaid jumper, purple and white striped knee socks and granny boots, came out of the kitchen, finally, to collect the white kitten from her play and gather her in her arms. "Efimia," she whispered, kissing the kitten's tiny cheek. "Efimia, Efimia, Efimia,"

Amy, dressed in a floral jumper and yellow flats, came out soon afterward. As the eldest, and forever the hostess, she addressed Espio kindly: "Would you like something to drink?"

Espio sat as if lobotomized. He didn't stir or even blink.

Amy looked at Cream, furrowing her brow. Cream shrugged, placing Efimia down on the table, and cautiously took her girlfriend's hand, which she squeezed. Amy pulled her hand away as if from fire and sighed softly, looking at Espio again. "We'll stay with you here until Sonic comes for you," she said kindly, "and then we have to go."

"I'll be late for school if he doesn't show up soon," Cream whispered.

"Hush, dear. He has ears." Amy scolded.

"Where?" Cream asked. Amy swatted at her.

Just then, the familiar sight of an Air Taxi relieved the girls of their duties. Sonic got out of the cab and started walking up the driveway, whistling to himself, his blue fur glorious in the early morning light, lightly stirred by sleep, green eyes alert. He was whistling, twirling keys on his outstretched finger.

Amy and Cream ran out to greet him. They didn't cry out his name in excitement, much as they wanted to, but ran to him in silent recognition and glee at his presence. They gave him a kiss on each cheek, one on either side of him, and began to talk.

When Espio was sure the girls were gone, he rose robotically and went to the window, pulling aside the curtains. He watched stupidly what was going on, and strained to hear through the glass talking he could barely make out.

Amy and Cream hugged him tenderly, one by one, and gave him space, though not much. "Espio's inside," Cream pointed towards the house like a child.

Sonic looked up, right into Espio's golden eyes. And the chameleon saw so much in those eyes, a myriad of feelings expressed in emerald green, that he let the curtains fall away a moment. "I know," the hedgehog replied brightly, smiling at the girls, his eyes all for them now.

"You look hungry," Amy admitted. "D'ya wanna come in for something?"

"Nahhh, I'm good. Maybe after," he giggled, and the girls grinned at each other, interlacing their hands, "I mean, in the afternoon. I gotta do something, but I'll be back around eleven. You guys wanna go to the Xichi Life Grill? Or can Cream not skip anymore school?"

Cream laughed and Amy ruffled her girlfriend's bangs. "Sure! I'll tell Vanilla to pick Cream up—say she has a doctor's appointment or something. School's winding down—Cream won't miss much, will you, dear?" She kissed her girlfriend's sensitive nose.

"Nope!" Cream affirmed, kissing Amy's nose back. Sonic smiled.

"Then it's a date. But you're covering your own tab! We're going Dutch!" The girls laughed. Sonic looked towards the house again. "Well! I think we'd better get going, if I wanna be back by eleven…coming, Espio?" For the chameleon had lethargically stepped outside on the porch and was waiting in vegetable silence for who knew what.

Espio nodded, his golden eyes on the ground. Sonic opened up the door of the cab and slid in. The girls made way for Espil, waved to Sonic, and went back inside their house. "Angel Island, please," Sonic told the cabbie. The taxi drove off.

The first few minutes of the ride were silent, until Espio's stomach rumbled, reminding him he hadn't had any dinner. His head was pounding from the drink, but he was starving, too. Sonic, who had been looking dreamily out the window, jumped and reached beside him. "I almost forgot," he handed Espio a bag from Munchin Mornings, a coffee-and-doughnut café that was a massive chain planet-wide. "Here. Breakfast. I got you blueberry. That okay?"

Espio looked inside, only to find a good-sized muffin. Blueberry wasn't his favorite, but his empty stomach told him beggars couldn't be choosers. "Yeah, thanks." He took it out and peeled off the wrapper, munching on it happily. Silence again.

As Espio was eating, another stomach broke the silence. Sonic flushed and shifted infinitesimally, but the chameleon, able to read people as a detective, chuckled and looked over. "Want a bite? Or did you eat yours already?"

"No," Sonic sighed, his head leaning against the back of his seat, his long quills looking fatter than he was in the dim lighting of the cab. "I'm not eating. Yet," he added.

"Why not?" Espio asked curiously. He couldn't imagine why anyone would _choose_ not to eat. What foolishness!

Sonic yawned, not bothering to cover his mouth. "It may seem strange, but I feel better confronting Knuckles on an empty stomach. Guess it makes me feel better. I dunno. Abuse messes with your brain." He chuckled.

Espio swallowed, the muffin a lump in his throat. "Oh," he choked out.

"No, stop," Sonic encouraged softly. "You eat. You need it. I'm so used to being hungry, it doesn't bother me as much. You need your energy," he smiled kindly. "You'll be standing up to him, too."

Espio glared at Sonic a moment, and then went back to eating. Silence. The chameleon looked at Sonic. The blue hedgehog was relaxing, almost melting, into the seat. His head was tilted back, his eyes closed, his hands folded in his lap. He seemed to be meditating, mentally preparing himself for what he had to do. Espio looked down at himself. He was shaking! Especially at the prospect of confrontation. "He, Sonic?"

"Hmm?" Sonic sat up, looking at Espio intently.

"Can I ask you a question?" Espio reached into his glove and smoothed his fingers against one of his kunai knives.

"Sure," Sonic chuckled, relaxing again. "Shoot."

"Umm…" Esio wrung his hands. "Why are you helping me? I never helped you, when you were…" Sonic cringed. "I mean…if anything, I made it worse! You never did anything but snap at me whenever I showed my face! Why now? Why are you helping me, when you never got any help?"

"Espio," Sonic rested a cold hand on the reptile's shoulder. "I'm sorry I was nasty. I didn't mean it. But, when I was abused, I didn't know how to help myself. My situation seemed like I was drowning. It seemed hopeless, endless, and every day, I was waiting for my lungs to give out and give up. I didn't know there was a way to stop abuse in its tracks. But I'm getting ahead of myself." He squeezed Espio's shoulder. "I'm helping you, because it's what I do. I'm still a hero, Esp, even if all I do is help…someone I may have been jealous of." He sighed, and looked away, his hand dropping to his side. Espio watched as Sonic pressed his forehead against the window. He looked so small and fragile, that it was as if he was made of bad glass—that he would break if the car so much as jostled him. "I thought the buck stopped with me," he admitted. "I never wanted Knuckles to hurt anyone else again."

Espio was speechless. "Wow," was his genius response.

Sonic rubbed his eyes—Espio thought he saw a few wet spots on Sonic's muzzle; evidence of tears—and shook his head, chuckling. "Yeah. Wow."

Silence.

"Does Shadow know about this?" Espio asked.

"Let me answer your question with a question." Sonic smirked—this was a hint of the old Sonic, the cocky, young, energetic fighter. Before his years of abuse. "How do you think he'd react, if he knew?"

" '_It seemed a lamp died somewhere. That from the cool, damp air that much light was suddenly, soundlessly subtracted. I was sitting on the verge of dream….And in that drowsy, comfortable state I had a strange, habitual mortal feeling, that the sun would wake me gently later and I would have that rich, habitual vision of the ferns in the sunshine and the sunshine in the droplets of rain. I indulged in that feeling. I half closed my eyes.' " _

_-__Interview with the Vampire__ by Anne Rice_

The cab drove up to the house. The door was open, still, from last night. A wet newspaper was strewn across the lawn, possibly days old. Tree branches and leaves littered the ground, and the breeze was cold and bitter. Sonic and Espio got out of the cab and almost immediately, Espio began to shiver. He was cold, but nervous and frightened out of his wits as well. He turned to look at Sonic.

The blue hedgehog had already paid the cabbie, but he was leaning on the roof of the taxi, perhaps waiting for change. His eyes seemed colder than the breeze. When a strong wind came, his quills flew out behind him so that they looked like a spiders' legs, with minds of their own. His fur blew back from his face and around his cheeks, so Espio could see the thinness of them. But, Sonic took his arms off the cab, and the cab drove away, and the spell was broken. Sonic walked forward, determined as he'd ever been. "Follow me," he commanded. "Stay close."

Espio turned invisible and followed along behind Sonic. His mind screamed at him that he was being cowardly, but this only made him draw closer to the warmth of Sonic's back.

The blue hedgehog entered the dwelling, and immediately scrunched up his face in revulsion. The stink of strong liquor and vomit was everywhere. But this didn't stop him. Now, nothing could. He walked on, kicking empty beer can and bottled away from his path, listening to Espio following close behind. He knew the chameleon was invisible, but he didn't care. At this point, all that mattered was that this pain should never be felt again. Ever.

He found Knuckles curled into a corner of the house, rocking and burping and hiccupping. The red echidna looked up as he saw him, and giggled, somewhere between half sober and fully drunk. Well, well, weh, if it aint Sawnik. Pfft!"

"Shut up!" Sonic growled, his eyes narrowing. "You disgust me. Come on, get up! I know you can! Up!" Knuckles scrambled to his feet, startled by this commanding tone. "Tell me if you know what you did," Sonic bared his teeth, gnashing them together as he bore down on Knuckles, forcing him against the wall. "Do you know what you did?"

Knuckles looked at the blue hedgehog, and smirked. "You pretender," he mused, "you think you can just walk into my house, _pretending_ to be all angry? Come on, what got up _your_ ass?"

Sonic refused the perfect joke and snarled. His eyes were cold and hard, so that they instilled a twinge of fear in Knuckles. "I asked you a question," he snapped, "and I've got no patience for your _disgusting_ habits, you drunk! Now spit it out! _Do_ you know what you did?"

Knuckles couldn't answer. He was searching for a way out of this. "You can't, you can't boss me around," he snarled. "Get out of my house!" He punched Sonic square in the chest. The blue hedgehog did little more than wince. "What did you do with my boy? _**WHAT DID YOU DO**__?_ _WHERE IS HE_?" He punched Sonic's muzzle, but again, Sonic remained motionless.

"Your drinking has caused him to flee," he said quietly, with no less anger. "Do you understand that you hurt him? Do you understand that he loves you? He's not like me—he loves _you_ and only you! Why would you tamper with that? Why would you chase him away because of a stupid thing?" He punched Knuckles in the muzzle as hard as he could. "Shadow would _never_ kick me out of the house for saying some _celebrity_ was _cute_! So why did you hurt Espio for something he said _while drunk_? Why? _Why?_ Do you see how foolish this is?"

Knuckles' eyes widened, and he became sober. "Where is he?" He asked anxiously. "Is he here? Where's my love, my boy? Espio!"

Sonic stepped aside as the chameleon became visible. Knuckles ran to hug him. "Oh, Espio!" He cried, sobbing into the reptile's shoulder. "Espio! Esp! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I promise, I won't ever drink again! I promise! I'll never hurt you. I never meant to. Espio!" He pulled away. "Do you forgive me?"

Espio smiled, and kissed Knuckles deeply and passionately.

Sonic, feeling a bit dizzy from hunger and the weight of what he'd just done, smiled upon his work and retreated. He was going to the Xichi Life Grill to wait for the girls—he was _starving_!

As he was summoning an Air Taxi, he heard rapid footsteps. He turned, only to be glomped by Espio. "Thank you, Sonic!" The chameleon was sobbing joyfully. "Thank you! For everything!"

_Sweet, no? Sorry for long updates…exams at school. :/ Yupp! Bye!_


	87. Best Laid Plans

**Best Laid Plans**

"Welcome to Xichi Life—oh! Sonic!" The rat behind the counter looked up, waving her tail so that the rings around its middle jangled. "How _are_ you?" She gushed.

"Muriel," Sonic took her hand and squeezed it. "I'm surprised they let you work here."

"Oh, quit it, you!" Muriel giggled, her ears falling flat around the sides of her rodent face. "Are you here to eat, or tease me?"

"To eat, of course." Sonic smiled. "Table for three, please."

"How about four?"

Sonic turned around swiftly, only to see his boyfriend, with his blazer over his arm, tie loosened from around his neck. He looked tired for once in his life.

"Shadow!" Sonic was glad to see him, anyway, giving a little peck on the cheek to him. "What're you doing here?"

"Amy told me she was going to lunch with you, and I decided to tag along. That okay?" Shadow asked as Amy pushed her way through the door. She was wearing a denim pencil skirt and a red plaid blouse with the sleeves rolled to her shoulders. She looked flustered in red heels, fighting with the door to get in.

"Sorry I had to spill the beans," Amy admitted with a tired laugh, lacing her arm through Sonic's. "He's _very_ persuasive."

Sonic winked at Shadow. "Oh? Well, now you know what it's like…"

"Rawr," Shadow teased.

"All right, all right," Muriel laughed. "This isn't a sex bar! Are you waiting for one more? We've got a table…"

"Here she is!" Amy interrupted, running to open the door for Cream in her excitement. Cream was wearing the same plaid jumper and socks she'd worn this morning. She hugged her girlfriend and laughed at her, too.

"Amy! You can still change clothes like lightning! Who are you? Supergirl?"

"Yes," Amy took Cream's hand and pushed her bangs out of her eyes.

"Are you all ready?" Muriel asked, smiling professionally.

"Yeah, are we?" Sonic asked, dramatically covering his stomach and tossing his head back, placing his hand to his head. "I'm _dying_ of hunger!"

Everyone laughed and allowed Muriel to lead them to their booth towards the back of the restaurant. Xichi Life was known for its "outer space" theme. The tables were silvery chrome, part of the menu was written in "alien language," and the ceiling and windows were painted with stars and alien life forms. After receiving their menus, Cream and Sonic decided to try to guess what the alien language on the menu could mean, and Shadow and Amy traded work horror stories.

"…a disaster! It couldn't have been…"

"Or maybe it means: 'take me to your leader!'"

"…honestly, this woman could go on for _hours_ about…"

"…but it can't _possibly_, because that's too simple…"

Eventually, the meaningless chatter died down, and the four set to looking at their menus. Shadow and Amy were on the ends of the booth and Sonic and Cream were squished against the wall. It was quiet as the waitress, dressed in silver and wearing green alien boppers, took their orders for drinks and everyone decided what they wanted to eat.

"So," Amy said finally, putting down her menu and looking at Sonic, "how did your errand go?"

"Errand?" Shadow almost dropped his menu and turned to his boyfriend. "What errand? You didn't tell me you—"

"First off," Sonic sighed, wetting his lips and peering at Shadow out of the corner of his eye, "I don't need to tell you _everything_ I do."

Shadow flushed in embarrassment, remembering the times he'd been punished for trying to control Sonic. "You're right." He muttered moodily. "I just worry, you know."

"And second, I'd rather not discuss it," Sonic put down his menu, accepting his green apple lemonade from the waitress. "Thank you."

"Are we all ready to order?" The waitress asked. Everyone ordered and waited impatiently for the waitress to leave. Amy laid her arms out on the table, clasping her hands together innocently.

"Why can't you tell us?" She asked in typical Amy fashion: not worried, but full of attitude.

Cream caught on. "If you can't tell, it must be _really_ juicy. C'mon!" She patted his hand. "Ya gotta spill."

"Yeah. You took a shower," Amy pointed out, and Shadow looked at her oddly, thinking how she could know that. "You were a bit damp, and you _never_ smell like that when you put on cologne."

"Tell us!"

"Tell us!"

The girls began to chant, banging the table softly like eager children. Finally, Sonic laughed and stopped stirring his lemonade.

"Awright, awright!" He chuckled. "Yeesh! Y'could give me room to breathe, here." Then, he became serious and clasped his hands together, his knee jiggling nervously and restlessly. He didn't want to tell them. He wanted with all his heart to run. But he could feel Shadow's eyes burning into him, and he knew he had to spill the beans on this one. "It's a bit of a long story, but, essentially, I saw Knuckles again."

"By Gerald Robotnik!" Shadow exclaimed, half in shock and half in horror. "_Why_?"

Amy and Cream shared a look, knowing now they shouldn't have pressed this topic. Obviously, it was very sensitive. Amy threw Sonic an apologetic look as she said, "Oh. _That's_ why you looked so hungry."

"Yeah," Sonic admitted, scratching behind his head.

Shadow bit his lip, an angry growl in his voice as he spoke, "so, you really _are_ dying of hunger."

"No," Sonic corrected with a nervous laugh, touching Shadow's hand tenderly. "No. Never."

"What did you do?" Cream asked.

"I…I yelled at him," Sonic seemed very small all of a sudden, as if he were a turtle crawling back into his shell.

"Why?" It was Cream again, taking on childishness to lighten the mood.

Sonic rubbed his arm, looking around him as if he were afraid of being trapped. He could feel Eggman very near him, as if the doctor were about to walk around the corner or was sitting in the booth behind him. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes a moment to compose himself and then opened them again. Shadow was holding his hand, concerned but not angry. Sonic gave a small, secret smile. "Because. I can't help being a hero," and he told his story, only pausing when the waitress brought food to their table. He didn't even look at his meal, two foot-long chilidogs and waffle fries, until he'd finished the story.

"And then I took an Air Taxi back to Mobius, and ran here," Sonic had grabbed the saltshaker and was shaking it over his fries, trying to evenly distribute the salt. "The end!"

An eerie silence seemed to fall over the restaurant itself, not just the table with four friends sitting there. No one was eating. Shadow had abandoned his salmon burger, Amy's fork lap poised to strike her salad, Cream held a cheese fry inches from her mouth. Only Sonic, who was now holding the ketchup bottle over his fries, seemed to be in the act of eating, though no food touched his lips. He shook the ketchup bottle, hitting the end of it with his palm, frustrated that no ketchup came out. His brow furrowed, but he seemed to be shaking. It seemed his whole body was shaking not with fear, but adrenaline. He wasn't eating. Maybe he wouldn't.

Finally, Shadow stopped Sonic's useless action. He took the ketchup bottle from Sonic, who sat stunned, as it were, into compliance. Shadow gave the bottle one final shake, and ketchup exploded out of it, not only onto Sonic's fries, but onto the table and chilidogs as well. Shadow put the ketchup bottle down, and there was silence before everyone began to laugh.

When the laughter had died down and the spell was broken, Sonic made a triangle with his arms and hands on the table and watched as everyone ate. Then, he slowly removed his gloves, and devoured the first chilidog in a matter of seconds. The first bite was the best, and Sonic quickly dug in to the rest of his meal, despite the mess of ketchup on his plate. Everyone was talking again, excitedly, uselessly, but not about what Sonic had said. Shadow and Amy started complaining about their boss and Sonic and Cream talked about school and the seasons.

After the friends had ordered dessert, Shadow turned to Sonic with an air of seriousness. "Sonic?"

The blue hedgehog, who had been reclining against the booth, his head against the back, his hands clasped over his stomach and his feet stretched into Cream's feet space, now sat up at attention, his eyes alert and not a tad bit lazy. Shadow looked into his eyes and decided Sonic wasn't full—far from it. The green in Sonic's eyes was alive, the red veins bright and alert, his heart pumping desperately in his chest, his body so thin and delicate, that he couldn't be full. "What is it, Shads?" He asked gleefully, half a smile gracing his tan muzzle.

"Have I ever told you that you're too much of a hero?"

Sonic's smile turned into a smirk. "I don't think so."

Shadow cradled Sonic's cheek in his hand. Just as he thought, the fluffiness of his fur hid what a single touch could not. Sonic's cheek was thin beneath the fascade. "You're too much of a hero," he said.

_School's almost over and so is Torn in Two! AHHH!_

_Review me, please!_


	88. Hurries

**Hurries**

Shadow sat at the kitchen table nursing a cup of coffee watching Sonic rush around doing a million things at once as if the lateness of the hour could not conceivably mean rest. He was tired himself, but more from the long day he'd had than actual physical exhaustion.

Sonic himself was barely visible. A quill there, a foot there, a white gloved hand there; the rest was blue wind, which stirred Shadow's fur as the blue one passed by and by again and again. He was cleaning up, checking dates on milk and cheese and butter and yogurt, checking phone messages, washing dishes, tidying the living room, as if trying to get his mind off something.

"Sonic," Shadow began. Sonic didn't stop whirling around the house like an organized tornado, the sound of his sonic boom deafening in the relative silence. The microwave began to hum, but Shadow didn't know why. He cleared his throat and tried again. "_Sonic_!"

The blue hedgehog stopped on a dime, his back facing Shadow. His back quills were stiff, but the quills on his head were just now beginning to droop as they fell back into place around his shoulder blades and upper back. His chest was heaving—Shadow could tell, even from this angle—and he looked to be a few sizes thinner. He almost looked like he had when he'd first come to live with Shadow those dreadful few months ago. Time seemed to move so fast, then, and it had only slowed when Sonic began to eat again. Shadow was fearing Sonic might soon lapse back into that routine, if not from anything else but sheer habit, and he didn't want to live through that again.

Sonic turned. His chest was heaving, but it was calming now. His breath was coming fast, but even. He was not out of breath; he had to breathe with his heart or risk passing out. He was very thin, by more than a few sizes. His ribs were visible as he breathed. His ears were beginning to droop slightly—they were not as pointy, nor were they pointed straight ahead—and his eyes couldn't hide very well his body's physical demand. He looked at Shadow, his mouth slack like a zombie's, and then pulled his lips into a smile. "Yeah, Shads?" He wanted to get back to work. His foot began to tap minutely.

"Have you—" Shadow was almost afraid to ask the question. He was almost afraid be might already know the answer. "—Have you eaten at all since lunch?"

Sonic leaned into the counter, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. The microwave beeped, which seemed to startle him, as he jumped. He shook with adrenaline now, a need to move. Shadow could see it in his eyes—he was on a mission to complete something before the sun rose. But what that could possibly be, he had no idea. Sonic turned to look at the microwave, and then slowly turned his head back towards Shadow. Looking deep into his ruby eyes, he replied: "No. Not one bite." He didn't seem unsettled by this spoken fact, not in the least. He closed his eyes as if about to go to sleep.

"Then why don't I fix you something?" Shadow stood and walked over to the microwave and opened it. Sonic had warmed leftovers from the dinner he'd served Shads. But to what end? Would he eat them? Shadow set out the leftovers where he knew Sonic could smell them and drained his mug of coffee. "Come on, I think you could use it."

Sonic's nose twitched and he sighed wearily, folding his arms tighter across his chest, bending into himself as if to will the hunger Shadow was sure he had away. The dark hedgehog watched Sonic as he started to wash his cup, concerned. Before he could speak, Sonic had his gloves off, the cup held tightly in his hands. He yanked it from Shadow's grasp and began to wash it, the water soaking into his furry hands as he worked. Shadow backed off, stunned as always by his love's speed.

But…not his desires. Shadow caught Sonic staring at the leftovers, now growing cold again, wetting his lips with hunger. Shadow came up behind Sonic and laced his arms around his middle. Sonic flinched, but continued washing the dishes.

"You did eat your lunch," Shadow mused, as if to himself, "but it wasn't enough for you. Two foot-longs and a bunch of fries won't do it for you."

"It's good enough," Sonic argued stiffly as he dried the mug off and then dried his hands. He wrestled himself out of Shadow's grasp and pulled his gloves on again. He faced Shadow head-on. "I'm alive, aren't I? I survived!" It seemed he had something to prove. Shadow rolled his eyes.

"You're so stubborn."

"No!"

Shadow chuckled. "Yes you are," he responded, his voice thick with affection. "Admit you need a meal. Come on, now. Look, you're trembling."

Sonic stretched his arm out at full length and looked. He _was_ trembling, a sure sign of malnutrition. He closed his fist, feeling so drained, and sank to the floor. Shadow, concerned, went over to him and stood over him, about to help him up.

But Sonic was fine. He crossed his legs, uncrossed them, and pulled them into a little tent, which he held fast to him by wrapping his arms around his legs. Shadow began to breathe again, and shook his head at his love, smiling a little. Sonic looked up at him, resting his head against the cabinets.

"I was abused," he began, his voice flat, "I was abused for years…since I was sixteen."

"Yes." Shadow confirmed.

Sonic closed his eyes against his tears, but a few stubborn ones escaped anyway. "And now I'm—what? Twenty-one, I think. Twenty-one…" He shook his head, laughing nervously in disbelief. "I never thought I _could_, physically, be twenty-one. And now here I am,"

"That may be," Shadow replied, not knowing where this was going. "But you're here and alive and just as Sonic the Hedgehog as ever! You're with me—someone who loves you! You're safe."

Suddenly, Sonic burst into tears. It was so sudden that Shadow's heart leapt into his throat. The blue hedgehog moaned through his sobs: "Five years! _Five years_! Five long years, I was abused!" He sobbed terribly, his voice quickly becoming hoarse. "Those years are _gone_, Shads! I can't get them back!" And Shadow realized why Sonic was crying. He was aware of his mortality.

"Sonic, Sonic!" Shadow pulled Sonic to his feet, pulled him into his arms like a child, sat with him in a chair at the kitchen table, rocking him like an upset baby. "It's all right, Sonic!"

"My life is over!" Moaned Sonic. "I'm not a child anymore!"

Shadow began to stroke him. "But were you ever? Sonic, did you ever _feel_ like a child?"

Sonic sniffled, resting his head on Shadow's shoulder. "No." He admitted.

"That's right," Shadow soothed, "because even when you were little, you were always talking care of someone, right? Tails and Amy, and Knuckles and Cream," he moved his fingers in between Sonic's fur, feeling Sonic's discontent against his waist. His own fat waist, compared to Sonic. "And the world. Sonic, I think you were this world's parent! I was the savior, but you _are_ its parent!"

Sonic rubbed his eyes and sat up. "I feel like a child now," he murmured, his voice hoarse from his tears. He leaned against Shadow's forehead fleetingly, his eyes red and sore from crying. "You're spoiling me by letting me cry."

"Sometimes, crying is all we can do." Shadow replied simply. "I can't give you back those five years you lost, Sonic, but I can make your years ahead happy. I can give you the life you deserve." He kissed Sonic's lips, as if he touched them with his finger. "Will you let me, Sonic? Will you let me give you my love?"

Sonic yawned and closed his eyes against Shadow's shoulder, grabbing onto the dark one's snow white chest fur. "Yes," he whispered.

"Good," Shadow placed Sonic on the couch and handed him the leftovers, still warm. "Now, eat this and then tell me if you're ready for bed or you'd rather eat more. I don't mind the hour."

Sonic devoured the leftovers and smiled weakly. "I love you, Shadow."

"I love you too, Sonic."


	89. Party Time

_Happy Birthday, Sonic! Here's to 20 years and many more! *drinks toast_

_Okay, I had plans to do a separate story, but now I can't think of anything better to do for Big Blue than to get crackin on this little tale!_

_On that note, my mother is lucky to share a birthday with Sonic. Here we go!_

**Party Time**

Sonic waltzed into the house and closed the door behind him. Jamie, still attached to her collar and leash, shook herself as dogs are bound to do, and barked a greeting to the entire household.

"Shads isn't home, if that's who you're calling for," Sonic told the puppy, bending down to ruffle her head. She'd been to the groomers two days before and now could be identified as a poodle again, her wolf snout prominent on her soulful face. They had just come back from a walk.

Sonic lifted Jamie into his arms and unhooked her collar, hanging it on the rack before putting her down. Jack, on the couch, stretched out, his fingers separating from their paw like little spiders. Jamie stood up on her hind legs, her paws on the couch to steady herself, and licked her friend in greeting. Jack responded by swatting at her, and Jamie playfully nipped him back.

Sonic shook his head and went into the kitchen. After preparing lunch for his little darlings, he picked up the phone and dialed a number he knew well. Shadow's office was closed for a holiday, and the dark hedgehog was running errands. Sonic just hoped his friend was at home.

"Hello?" Amy Rose's voice was high-pitched, which meant she'd been baking. Sonic smiled.

"Hey, Ames."

"Sonic! My goodness!" She giggled madly. "How _are_ you?"

"I'm great, Amy."

"That's good. You wanna come taste-test some cookies?"

Sonic wet his lips in desire, but remembered that wasn't why he was calling. "I can't leave my babies. Anyway, I was wondering if tomorrow works for you."

"Yeah, tomorrow's fine. What do you have in mind?"

"Why, your housewarming party, of course!" Sonic laughed. "Don't tell me you forgot!"

Amy chuckled. "Actually, I did. I'll save these cookies, then."

"Nah, lemme eat em," Sonic teased, "_I'll_ take care of the food. Shads just went to the store for some things, so…"

"You just said you couldn't leave your babies."

"I can't. That doesn't mean I'm not going to eat your cookies at some point."

Amy sighed into the phone and Sonic could just picture her rolling her eyes. "So, I'll see you tomorrow for housewarming?"

"Yeah. Spread the word, and I'll do the same."

"Will do! See you tomorrow!"

"Bye!"

Sonic hung up the phone and ran a hand through his long blue quills. He still couldn't believe he was twenty-one years old. He still felt like he was sixteen or seventeen, just more worldly. He still _felt_ young.

Wasn't twenty-one a horribly old age to be?

_I bend and fold at your request_

_Now it's my time to take a step_

_I closed my eyes now you're well on your way_

The next day, the party happened and everyone was there. Sonic was hosting the party, so he was kept busy socializing, entertaining, cooking, and so much more. There was an open grill, a present from Vanilla, which was already in use upon which hotdogs, cheese dogs, hamburgers, cheeseburgers, sausages, grilled cheeses, and so much more were being grilled. Music blared from the battery-powered stereo system, and everyone was having a good time.

The twins, barely a year old but able to walk and babble some words out already, were toddling around chasing Jamie or Jack and even Socrates and Efimia, who were a bit confused as to why there was so much commotion. Tails and Cream were talking about anomalies in space and Amy and Cosmo were talking about gardening methods. Vanilla was standing by with Mai and Kite, who were socializing, but never far from their mistress. Sonic, as we have said, was doing several thousand things in an instant. He was grilling, chatting, adjusting the volume of the music, and trying to encourage Shadow to have a little fun.

The dark hedgehog was shamelessly tailing Sonic, albeit from a distance, fully on guard. He thought the party would attract some unwanted guests, and didn't want that to happen.

Sonic caught up to Shadow and hugged him around his shoulders. "What'sa matter, Shadzy?" He cooed. "Cat got your tongue?"

"No one is watching the twins," Shadow grumbled, obviously not at home in social situations. "We haven't kissed in twenty minutes, those girls irritate me…" He looked at Sonic. "_You're_ busy. What can I do?"

"Stop being so uptight," Sonic came around the front to face Shadow, lacing his arms around the dark one's neck, raising one leg to embrace Shadow's thigh, bringing him closer. "I'd _love_ to get with you right now, believe me, but I can't leave the party, as I am host." He smirked, turning to the side a moment to flip a burger on the grill behind him. "The twins are fine. Vanilla is keeping an eye on them. Did I tell you? Tails and Cosmo are going to make Vanilla officially their grandmother? Isn't that nice? And Tails should give you someone to talk to. I thought you were friends." Sonic leaned in and touched Shadow's lips with his own, commandeering the kiss into passionate breathlessness. "And as for me kissing you, love," he added, licking Shadow's lips slyly with his tongue, "you can't complain I haven't, now."

"Can I complain you haven't eaten?" Shadow took a cooked hot dog off the grill and pressed it against Sonic's lips. The hedgehog opened his mouth to receive it, his eyes reading confusion. "Don't forget you're still underweight, Sonic." And with that, Shadow tickled his beau, making Sonic giggle immensely.

"Go mingle!" Sonic scolded, pushing Shadow away. "Who are you so scared of?"

"Knuckles and Espio!" Shadow called back.

_Reach for the highest, brightest star_

_You'll be sure to catch the moon_

_All your dreams are possible_

_And you'll get there soon_

After everyone had eaten their fill and the twins were half asleep and the pets were napping, Sonic jumped up on the porch. "I'd like to thank you all for coming," he spoke loudly over the music, until Shadow turned it off. Sonic winked at Shadow in thanks, and then projected his voice over the crowd. "This is Amy and Cream's housewarming party. They finally did it. Let's give them a big hand," and he led everyone in clapping. "The next announcement is Tails and Cosmo's, so I'll give them the floor a moment," and he sat in the porch swing while Tails and Cosmo took the stage amongst clapping.

The two lovers looked at each other, and then looked out at the crowd. "As you know," Tails began, "neither of us have any folks to speak of. Cosmo's are dead and mine I can't prove. None of that matters to us, but it leaves our children without any grandparents."

"And, of course," Cosmo picked up the speech, her delicate voice endearing to everyone who heard it, "as much as we love dear Amy and Cream, they don't intend on heaving children of their own, which we would imagine leaves dear Vanilla in an empty place." Cosmo smiled at her twins, nuzzled under a blanket on the porch nearby. "Which is why we would like to invite Vanilla to be our children's grandmother."

The old rabbit burst into tears of joy, and Cream and Amy and Cosmo hugged Vanilla to no end. "Thank you," was all Vanilla could choke out, "it would be an honor."

After all the fanfare, Sonic once again took the stage. "I'd also like to tell you all that, several months ago, Doctor Eggman passed away." Before everyone could cheer, he held up a hand and continued, "before he died, he called me to his base and told me that I was to oversee the destruction of said base, in order to save the environment around it. I have put this off for long enough." His voice and eyes, and even his body were serious. He had never looked so sober. "That is why tomorrow, I am going to the site of Eggman's base and I'm going to start taking it apart and cleaning up the environment. I've invited a few friends to come with me, and now I'm inviting a few more. Come and bring someone along with you, if you'd like. But please come and help me. I can't do this alone." He cleared his throat and smiled. "Thank you." And he stepped down from the podium.

_Hey you, would you help me to carry the stone?_

_Open your heart, I'm coming home._

When Sonic and Shadow got in that night, it was quiet. Jack and Jamie crawled into their respective beds and went to sleep right away. Sonic and Shadow took off all the clothes they were wore and crawled into bed.

Shadow was just about to settle down and go to sleep when Sonic nipped his shoulder.

"Ow," Shadow grumbled.

"I wanna do it," Sonic whispered excitedly in the dark. "Can we do it? We haven't done it. I wanna do it."

Shadow yawned. "I'm tired."

Sonic rolled his eyes and felt around in the dark for Shadow's penis, which he began to pump. Then, he nipped Shadow's neck, and licked at the lips to intensify the animalistic pleasure of them. He pressed his hardened member against the entrance of Shadow's ass, and finally, with a little coaxing, pushed it in.

"This is awkward," Shadow admitted after a minute. "Mind if I take over?"

"Be my guest," Sonic laughed, "but I thought you were tired."

Quick as anything, Shadow was on top of Sonic, his penis inside Sonic's area and Sonic's member against his stomach. Shadow smirked and began to thrust at Sonic. "I'm the Ultimate Lifeform," he declared, "I _never_ get tired!"

"Fuck you don't!" Sonic yelled back. "Kiss me, you fool!"

And Shadow leaned forward and kissed Sonic with all his might.

_Lyrics credits are:_

_Deathbed-There for Tomorrow_

_You Can Get It- Baha Men_

_Hey You-Pink Floyd_

_Also, YOUR OC CAN HAVE A GUEST CAMEO IN TORN IN TWO! I'm dead serious. You can PM me or review right on this story the following information about your FC (it must be YOURS that you created, or that you bought from another person):_

_-name_

_-gender_

_-any powers (super strength, ect)_

_-whose friend they are (optional, see chapter for details)_

_If you have any questions, feel free to PM me and I'll answer them. I will choose less than ten FCs to cameo in the next chapter and THIS NEXT CHAPTER CAN'T HAPPEN WITHOUT YOU! So please support me! Thank you!_

_Winners: FC will appear in the next chapter as a worker helping to take apart Eggman's base._


End file.
